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Jetta

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Everything posted by Jetta

  1. Jetta
    Forgiveness isn't about forgetting the incident. It's about letting go of the pain attacted to the incident. We all have things we'll never forget but have to forgive in order to move on with our lives.
  2. Jetta
    Well you have no need to carry the pain he caused on others. That is their pain, and it's up to them to forgive. For your own health and sanity you do need to forgive him and the sooner you're able to the better off you will be. You don't have to like him, hang out with him, but in your heart you do have to be at peace. Sometimes seeing them shows you how much you have or have not forgiven. Really if you're not ready then don't go, but the sooner you let go the happier you'll be.
  3. Jetta
    That's good to hear Brando. I like your signature quote btw.
  4. Jetta
    Okay what I suggest is sitting down and talking with her. A friend of mine had this surgery 10 months ago. She said that her husband treats her better now, and she's a little put off by it. Meaning he'll take her out more, be more grabby, etc. She notices these little things but he thinks he's treating her the same way. Honestly she does look a lot better now. It could be your girlfriend is feeling something similar. As far as being more outgoing that's just all part of the process. She's finally doing things she just couldn't before, you'll have to adjust to the new her but also make it known that you love her and would like to spend time with her too. Try not to accuse, but share your feelings in a way that makes her think about how her actions affect you. It works better than demands. Trust me she knows those people weren't there for her before. She's more aware of it than you realize. My friend now notices how fat girls who were friendly with her before aren't now and thin girls who would turn their noses up at her now stop to chat. It's hurtful to her because she's the same person on the inside. I always liked her inside person, but I admit I was sometimes embarressed by her outside person.
  5. Jetta
    If I like someone as a friend I usually say you seem like a nice person, or friend or outgoing, whatever compliment that suits them. If you want to get to know them, say I'm having a few friends over to watch the game and invite that person to join. Allow them to bring a friend if it'll make them more comfortable. With that said I too am generally in the unappraochable group. I do smile more and that helps slightly. I've also been told I seem to be snobby, really I'm just on the shy side. I don't really want a bunch of friends anyway. I make them as I go along in life. I don't have any need for a crowd. Okay so that's a snobby statement.
  6. Jetta
    I'm pretty good at this game I've discovered, but it's hard for me to explain for some reason. Basically you let them know you're interested and then let him show interest in you. Don't be at their beckon call because they're your seen as too available. I like to make him work for my attention. However the guy I'm currently interested in has my game figured out. He actually makes me work for his attention! The nerve! I really like this guy for some reason so it is harder to play this game on him because I actually get flustered sometimes. It's really subtle stuff mostly.
  7. Jetta
    Oh that is just awful, usually it's worse than the physical because most don't realize how bad things really are. I'd really see if there is any positive change once his depression is being treated. I do know that meds help, they won't make things perfect but they will help. You need to decide though, if you're done and no matter how much he changes you just don't care, well then divorce is the answer for you.
  8. Jetta
    SnowFlurry, I recently lost my dad too, only the circumstances were very different. Really death isn't the end it's just a transformation. You're dad's spirit is still alive. If you truly need him he'll come to you like an angel would. I really suggest getting involved with a grief support group. It will help you go through your feelings. Although I loved my dad deeply and cried for his passing, I know he's still around me in spirit for however long.
  9. Jetta
    You do have to move out. You can do shared custody, which would work considering you both get along fairly well. I plan to do that with my soon to be ex. He'll take our daughter 1-2x a week and then alternate weekends. Not every family sees dad daily. This would also add to the hope that mom and dad will one day work it out and really be together again. My husband and I also get along well as roommates so I understand how tempting it can be to the roommate thing, but it's really not healthy for the kids to see their married parents dating.
  10. Jetta
    Is there an adult in the neighborhood or family friend who could stay with the kids until you get home? That really sounds like an awful situation. To be that afraid of your own mother, I can't even imagine how a kid could deal with it. If the alternate adult isn't an option tell them to call 911 or police dispatch whenever she shows up at the house, eventually she'd quit doing it.
  11. Jetta
    Thank you both. BTW Fantasia I do have my true despairing moments, but honestly prayer works.
  12. Jetta
    Granted it's a temporary one, but it's something. I've been out of the official workforce for so long I'm really nervous but it's good. I start Monday. The pay is eh, but it's more than I've been making staying at home. Whew. I'm really nervous, anxious, etc. I hope it all goes well.
  13. Jetta
    DN. That guy is still out there. Soulmates do exist for reasons other than romantic relationships. He may have just come into my life to assist me with the transition from dependance to independance (emotionally that is). I did see him for a few minutes last night. I knew then that my divorce isn't about getting with him. Whatever happens happens, but my focus isn't on him or getting into a relationship, which is very freeing. It's really on me and what I want to do with my life. Truthfully being a success and alone would be sad. So I do know that having someone to share life with is important to me. I just want to have a clear head and not feel like I need to be with someone for whatever reason. That is why securing a job and a place of my own needs to happen. A partner in life would be nice, but I don't want it to be necessary to my life. I have to add Shes2Smart. You're awesome. I really love what you have to say. I don't hate men. Just like you said. It's me time now, for however long. Besides I'm tired of it all being about sex. I need a guy who can offer more than that to me because I can get that anywhere if I really wanted to, which I don't.
  14. Jetta
    Right now I could care less about being involved with another man again. I'm sure hormones will kick in eventually but I feel like they drag me down most of the time. It would be great if they would actually enhance my life in some way. I can handle my daughter alone. As long as I earn money and can pay my bills I really don't see a need for a man in my life. Waoh that must be some kind of revelation. I just never thought I'd not want to be involved with a man again. I'm really looking forward to becoming an indepdant woman. I have more motivation than I've had in a long time.
  15. Jetta
    Tough choice really. I'd honestly pick the dream job, because you can always drive to other places for fun. Or even live outside of the dream job area and just commute. Depends how far it is really.
  16. Jetta
    You are 2smart. That is exactly how I feel.
  17. Jetta
    Yeah I know it sounds bad, but if you knew the real story you'd understand. I've been in a type of hell for 10 years now. It's like I've served whatever sentance God gave me and have been released. It truly feels like I've been released from a type of prison.
  18. Jetta
    I really think that's the funniest thing I ever heard. Does a gay man turn straight by hanging out with straight men!? Now I've been hanging out with some lesbian women, in fact I have for years. Yet I'm still very much attracted to men. Oh sure I notice if a woman is pretty and all but I have no desire to become intimate with a woman. ROFL Too funny!
  19. Jetta
    Granted I'm not there yet, but today has been a wonderful day. I amicably filed for divorce. It went so smoothly it's surreal, we still have a hearing to go to before it's offical but I've taken the big step. I met with the social worker who has basically told me if I really feel that my son is just too much for me they'll work harder at getting his dad to take over custody! I love him and all. I just don't think I can be the kind of parent he needs me to be. I'm a free spirit type of person and he cannot handle even the smallest of changes. His dad is much more structured or appears that way. Once they give him the overall I know for sure, but it really gives me hope that life can get better. I'll still see him and be his mom, but not having the drama is a dream come true! I feel freer than I have ever felt. Sure I still have responsibility but for the first time in my adult life I feel like I can do or be whomever I decide to be, and not who someone else expects me to be. It's like the gate has lifted and I'm free!!!!
  20. Jetta
    Yes I believe in Karma. My 1st husband ran up a bunch of debt in my name, among the gazillion other things he did. Well my annual child support ends up roughly being the amount he practically stole from me. When he complains about paying it I mention that it's just karma in it's purest form.
  21. Jetta
    You are so right, and you worded that very well. You are a truly a gift to this world.
  22. Jetta
    Yeah I feel the same way about life a lot of time. Only I deem it as in what is the point of it all? Basically life is just a dream. You know the song "Row row row your boat." That is about life on earth. The last line says "Life is but a dream." So we are here in the holographic world really and it's up to us to create our lives. Our passions are our purpose, and whatever obstacles you encounter in that pursuit was designed to make you (your soul) grow. We are spiritual beings. We choose to come here at this time because of the growth we wanted to attain. We often get so wrapped up in the material world that we forget why we are really here. We are here to grow spiritually. Now I know it's a lot to take in and I still struggle with this stuff even thought I grew up hearing it my whole life. We all feel a bit empty inside because we've choosen to separate ourselves from the Godsource. Meditation is how you connect. Meditating is so uplifting it's truly a natural high.
  23. Jetta
    This is like why are we here questions. Truthfully we need no one, yet we all long for someone. Companionship is probably the main reason aside from sex. But then you have friends that would resolve that. Yep tough question. It may take your entire life to find the answer to this one.
  24. Jetta
    The only people who ask for tips about this are those looking to try it. Here's the facts: My SIL cannot think straight or read a book anymore because she's malnutritioned. At age 15 her body is unable to digest the food they started stuffing back into her, she's currently in a specialized hospital for the 2nd time this year. She wasn't even FAT or chubby or anything! My good friend starved herself on and off for years, with the use of diet pills. Last I heard from her was she blew up like a balloon due to major kidney damage (100 lbs of water weight they just couldn't get off her). They weren't sure if she would make it, she was 26. Granted she could have survived but she became so sickly I was unable to reach her and I really don't know what happened and no one who knew her from our group has heard from her. Now those are only a few people I know who have struggled with this illness. I also have family members who have this disease. Some are more borderline, but one cousin has returned from the brink of death serioulsy. She was unable to walk when I saw her 3 years ago. She's walking and still alive, none of us thought she's make it.
  25. Jetta
    The divorce isn't really sticky. My soon to be ex-husband is consenting now so it's amicable. The sticky part is my own stuff (living arrangements and job).
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