Greetings. I am a new user as of today and would be very, very gracious for any and all advice. I am a 36 yr old lesbian and have a 31 yr old partner of just over two years. Until 2 months ago our relationship has been wonderful - very loving and fulfulling. We both would say that we've never been happier and now something has changed. Here is a little background.... When we first met, we lived in different states for the first 6 months of our relationship. At 7 months, I moved to her city in her state and began a new happy life with my girl. At 1 year, my partner had gastric bypass surgery. She was 410 when I met her, in poor health, poor financial state.....but I fell in love anyhow....none of that mattered to me. She was beautiful then and she is beautiful now . Since her weight loss surgery she a lost about 175lbs. She is now "thank god" healthy, looks fabulous and able to lead a fuller life - which I thougth would be with me. Within the past 2 months she has started a new job in a career that she has always dreamed of and she is also back in theatre (she always loved to be on stage) - she is currently in a local play in our city.
So here is the problem.... Since starting the new job and being in the play....she is never home. She leaves for work in the morning and goes from work straight to the play for the evenings performance AND THEN out to the local bars with the people from the play to party. She rolls in to bed around 2am and then gets up for work to do it again. This happens Wednesday through Sunday. I asked her if this is going to continue after the play is done and she said that she feels that she has changed and needs to be more social (outside of our group of close friends) AND she enjoys flirting with other women BUT she says that she is still totally commited and in love with me and wants a life with me. She does invite me our with her other friends...but there so different from me. I am not a theatre person - I am just an average lesbian. Most of her new friends loud, self-centered obnoxious people. The same people that didn't except her when she was at 410. My partner and I have had an active social life - but with more down to earth people. I feel like she is changing into someone I don't know and I'm very sad and upset about this. I have totally established a life with this woman and I'm scared I'm losing it . I love her and she knows exactly how I feel - but nothing changes. Am I being too hard on her? Should I ride it out? Or am I being stupid?
