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Aura Seeker

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  1. Aura Seeker
    I just know this is going to come out sounding harsh, but really it sounds as though she is lowering her standards. First off, you should have never asked her out if you had no intentions. You just set her up for rejection. Mean. Second, you keep slamming her looks when it sounds like you aint all that either (you said you keep getting rejected, not a nice feeling hey?) It is just my opinion, and nothing personal, maybe just something to think about. Sometimes we let good things go for the wrong shallow reasons, or hurt other people to serve our on purposes. Pity dates are not nice. I wouldn't suggest doing it again. JMO A
  2. Aura Seeker
    Hi Eve, Your situation sounds horrible and makes for a very complicated life. I don't know a lot about these things, but what I do know is living a double life of any kind is hell. You can choose to live your life for your families, or you can choose to live your life for yourself. I would say that you two need to sit down and make a serious decision. Come out with it, or betray yourselves and live a life for your families? Acceptance usually happens, it may not be as bad with your families as you think. Just my opinion. ;-) A
  3. Aura Seeker
    Everything sounds pretty fishy. The reason you are feeling this way is your instincts are going off, and it's a hard read when you are so close to the situation. It sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. You can't compete with another man, you just can't. Just my opinion. A
  4. Aura Seeker
    Anything is possible, but the symptoms you are describing most happen in the late stages of pregnancy. Early signs are throwing up....missing your period. The drug store has some pretty good tests. Use condoms. Go to the doctor and get on some birthcontrol Un expected babies are a lot of hard work. Take care of you first, and be as responsible as you can so that when you do have a baby, you will be able to take care of it and ready! ;-) Just my opinion
  5. Aura Seeker
    That is horrible that you had that experience in AA, because that is not what it is about. It isn't about who's got who's God. That is your own business. It shouldn't matter if you are gay, or what ethnic group you come from or your social status....or your God. I should hope that there are some different groups around that you could go to. If you need someone to talk to who for sure will not judge who you are......please email me. I would be glad to talk. A
  6. Aura Seeker
    Yes, by your description, it sounds like he is engaging in sex with men. You should for SURE be making him wear a condom when you two have sex. I know he's your husband.....but.... Lots of men marry because they do not want to be discovered as gay, or bi.....you should protect yourself in any case. Just my opinion. A
  7. Aura Seeker
    I was in private investigating for a long time. Take a camera. Wait for public displays of affection. It will do wonders in a settlement. Get your proof, then ask questions. Never ask a question you don't know the answer to! Protect yourself, because he can leave and you won't be granted a divorce or anything. Get proof before saying anything. One thing.....do not give him words that tip him off. Women were always easy to follow, because the guys said nothing! Women are bad for ...."i'll have you followed" and the guys are always looking over their shoulder. A
  8. Aura Seeker
    Hi there, Of course you are flushing your life away. He is married. Let's just say he does leave her, what kind of a man does that make him. He is out having an affair on his wife AND kids......do you really think that he wouldn't do the same to you if he left her and married you? Who wants him? He's a cheater, and he'll cheat on you! Just my opinion, A
  9. Aura Seeker
    Hi there. I don't think falling into emotional blackmail will work. What do you really want with a person who begs you to keep them? There probably was no other guy. Take the time you need. Let her go if she wants to go. Just my opinion A
  10. Aura Seeker
    I believe that the only lesson a child gets if they are hit, is to hit. If I walk up to you as an adult and smack you one every time you do something stupid.....we would all be walking around black and blue. Personally, I do not believe hitting is good. It's like people who swear to much, not enough intelligence to expand their emotional dictionary. Same with hitting. There are many other methods to correct things. Just my opinion A
  11. Aura Seeker
    People who tend to lie for no reason grew up in a home where the child was in fear a lot. The lying and covering up to stay out of trouble moves right on in to adult hood. If that sounds familiar, start with the root of things and see if he is willing to look at it. If not, there is nothing you can do. You can only present the issue, you can not make him change. If he doesn't really understand why he does lie, nothing will change unless he addresses issues. A
  12. Aura Seeker
    I would let him quit playing emotional hostage with you. The reason why you are feeling so confused is because he is trying to confuse you. Take out the emotional factor for a second and just take down the facts and actions. See what comes out of it. Not the things he 'says' because that means nothing. Take down the actions. Put it on paper. It will clear up for you real quick. ;-) A
  13. Aura Seeker
    follow your instincts. You think he is gaming with you and after hearing your story, I think he is gaming with you too. Just my opinion. ;-) A
  14. Aura Seeker
    I don't think it is wrong to wonder about this. I think your main concern is that this guy does not start to pose a problem between you and your husband. Sounds like he is trying to stir the pot a bit. A
  15. Aura Seeker
    I believe that you two could get away with being friends. No rule breaks that. Just be respectful of the situation and move forward from there. No rules ever stop true love from growing. If you two make a decision to take it to the next level, then remembering that you are going to be respectful, you will then need to bring it up with the Uncle. You better start running...and LIKE IT! LOL ;-) A
  16. Aura Seeker
    It is a confusing time for you, that's for sure. When in doubt, just take it one day at a time and things will become clearer to you. Just don't push things one way or the other. I think the answer will present itself to you. Take care. A
  17. Aura Seeker
    My prayers are with you. Stay safe, and just keep trying every avenue that you can that lets you and her remain safe. A
  18. Aura Seeker
    As a member of AA I can tell you the difference. Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those that have already been there! There is a huge difference between spirituality and religion. What the progam involves is you giving up your will to a higher power. If you want to make that a tree or mother nature or whatever.....or to the designer of the intelligent design of the world. It will be the God of YOUR understanding. Not anybody elses. Nobody preaches there. Nobody. The reason for that is your will is leading you in the wrong path. It makes the program easier if you believe in a higher power. Contempt prior to investigation is what will keep you from getting better, and if it isn't the God issue, it will be something else. Go investigate FIRST, then make a decision. ;-) Just my opinion. A
  19. Aura Seeker
    Try writing it down ahead of time. If you can't bring yourself to do it while you are there, hand over the letter. Going drunk is probably not a good idea. If you feel that it give you courage, that kind of crutch you can do without. Try a different method that is still of your own power, and not the power of mood altering drugs. (alcohol is a drug) It is clear you want to pass on the info, and you are just having a hard time spitting it out, try writing it out and then giving it over. A
  20. Aura Seeker
    It is a little to short maybe. Are you gaining weight after having starting to have sex? Are you female, and have you started birth control? I have heard of many girls gaining after starting the pill. Normally, having sexual activity does not make you gain weight. How you Feel about it may be an issue. Not ready yet, it was painful and don't look forward to doing that again.....ect. Emotionally it could take a toll on you if you are young. Just my opinion A
  21. Aura Seeker
    It is a very sad situation for sure. The only way I see is if she runs away, but there can be a backlash from that too. Sometimes, they don't think twice about killing lovers. Please be careful with any move you make. A
  22. Aura Seeker
    I would look at the fact that you feel lonely if you are not with a man. You are missing something and you are trying to fill that void with someone else, only someone else can not make us happy. If I were you....and I am not...;-) I would be single until I felt whole doing so. Only then will you find the other right whole person to spend your time with. Loneliness is the wrong reason to be with someone. Do you know what I mean? Just my opinion. A
  23. Aura Seeker
    I think HE thinks that you will do the same for him on his birthday.......or, he has already been to the strippers, and when he gets busted, he can say, it's no big thang....look you had one at your birthday. That's all I can think of would be it. he is for sure sending you some kind of message, like it's ok to entertain the thoughts of another person. It's leading to something I think, because most guys I know wouldn't do that out of ego reasons. Hope that helps a little. I would ask him more questions. A
  24. Aura Seeker
    The most important thing to be taking care of is me! I know that sounds selfish, but let me explain. If I don't take care of myself, and make sure that I am financially, physically, and mentally ok, then I can not have anything to help anyone else with. When my daughter is emotionally drained and can't take it with the baby anymore, I am strong enough to tolorate a sick baby for the weekend. If she is short on cash, I have extra cash because everthing at work is great, because I have taken care of myself. If you don't take care of you, there is no helping anyone else. It is imprortant for my base life to be strong, in order to take care of myself and the people I love can depend on me. ;-) A
  25. Aura Seeker
    Well, if she is in a culture where they have arranged marriages, there isn't a lot either one of you can do. (if you want to stay close with your families) Also, it wouldn't be wise to express that she is lesbian. It does not sound like you are in Canada or the US. Sounds like India or surrounding. Also, she or you may think you are lesbian, because it is pretty traditional that the woman be a virgin in an arranged marriage, and her sexual or intimacy might have been shared as no other outlet. Do not put this girl in danger by saying anything. I am sorry about your situation. Just my opinion A
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