Hello!
I have a problem kind of.. i'm confused you see. i've just turned 20, i have never had a boyfriend.. all my shcool years i went through being single.. to tell you the truth i never really bothered.. i never really liked any guys in my school.. i do have to say i did develop a crush on one or two girls.. one in particular was my best friend! prob from ages 15 to 17 i had a crush on her.. hmm not to sure how i would define it.. it was more a unhealthy friendship id say.she never really bothered about guys either (even although she got lots of attention).. but one day she just started seein this guy.. i felt rejected and abandoned really.
Anyways i got over it(after a while).. still never really found mr right.. got a few gay guy palsfrom my school friend(i seem to attrach gay guys).. even met up with this guy from the net who i had known for a couple years through same choice in music.. turns out he was gay!!! anyways one night i was out over a year ago with my gay pal and was introduced to his straight friend .. who i got so well with.. he had the moto though 'i dont do relationships'.. he never has had a girlfriend or anything, hes kinda camp, but not gay gay camp, just more sensetive etc.. He came accross as loud, friendly and a bit immature. he asked for my number and everything.. next time we met at my friends party i got off with him.. ended up both sleeping in my friends bed.. (we didnt have sex or anything though). week after week, day after day we went places together(seemed like we were in a relationship!), txted each other.. most times kissing each other or becoming really close, sharing beds etc.At on point we questioned our 'friendship' he said he really liked me and nevr liked anyone as much as me, and i said the same.. but he said we would b a bad boyfriend and was scared.. and just couldnt do it....so a few days after that things were back to normal and just kinda ignored the stuff we had been discussing.
anyways he even said he thought we should get a flat together (a mortgage!).. um i didnt think it was such a good idea so we ended up just moving in with my friends in a rented flat... we were still really close.. kissing and stuff.. always gettin naked but never actually have sex.. but sometimes we did (didnt go too well.. he comes too early..but i didnt care, i just liked being close to him.. so i think he might have hangups with his problem- thats why he maybe doesnt want relationships?!).. anyways 6 months lease was up so we had to all move.. i think on my part it was for the best.. as i was gettin to obsessed with him.. and it was getting to me. we are still close, but i am keeping my distance. he is the only guy i have ever liked.. all the others were just when i was drunk, you know getting off with guys when i'm drunk etc.. but he was different and i'm glad i lost my virginity to him(about 2 to 3 months ago i think!).. still confused still like him.. but my problem is i dont really like any other guys.. and not sure about girls.. umm i'm just confused.. i always thought i might be bi .. but its only because i'm attrached to personalities rather than gender/looks etc... any advice?
