Aura Seeker

Nothing wrong with Mind blowing orgasims either!!! LOL Is she trying to protect her virginity? A

So......we are talking about "Bill Clinton" Sex here? Because it is sex. There are myriads of things you two can do aside from penatration. Is this what you mean? A

I realize most things posted here are on boyfriends or girlfriends....ect. But I have a room mate that I suspect has this problem. Is any one familiar with it, or know of any resourses that I can find to take steps on helping this person? Most of the stuff on the web is about the diease, and not about how to approach the subject with someone that has it. This is a very serious issue, and I do not want to trigger anything off by mistake. With those of you who are not familiar, it is about people faking illness or deliberate injury to themselves. Thanks Aura Seeker.

You guys Rock. c

That I know a lot of you people here are young, and I was readding darkich's post where owlman said we come here to draw off of other's experiences. Even if you have never experienced this sort of thing, because you are young and haven't had the same thing happen, I still value your opinion. That would be because the price on un-inhibited repsponses is priceless. Just talk from the heart! ;-) AS

I started a relationship with someone much younger than me. This was all scary enough as it was, because it isn't something that I would normally do. (seek out much younger partner) BUT as it turned out, here I am. After 6 months of seeing each other, we are going to live together, and he has made it known that he will want to marry me......and have children. I don't look or feel to old to do this, however.....I have a huge fear of raising another child on my own. There is no such thing as a divorce with children as there is with men. Nothing assures me he will be there the whole time to help. My first and only child is 19, living on her own with her baby (3 months old) so I am done with child raising, and don't know if I can do it all again. BUT, several years ago I turned away someone who I believe was my soul mate because he wanted to have children as well, and I was firm that I wasn't going to. I let him go knowing that he wasn't ever going to happy unless he could have children. I regreted making that decision. I don't want to regret losing one more important person in my life, because how many chances will I get? How many soul mates are out there for a person? I am very picky, and I haven't even been in a serious relationship for the last 7 years!!! I am not an easy one to get to commit to these things. How do you guys see it? And thanks in advance for your feedback. AS

I hear that codemaster. I don't always feel consistant either. None of us do! ;-) Hormones and emotions can be aweful things hey? It sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders. Take care. AS

Hi there, lol, not "lame" excuses. Just excuses. That wasn't meant to sound mean in any way, hope you didn't hear it like that. ;-) My point, from experience unfortunately, is that the weekends meld into being your whole life! So if you are a weekend warrior, and using is because you are "alone, hurting....ect" that you mentioned......those are red flag words to be mixing with substances? To me, hearing many experiences on the subject...not just mine ;-) you jumped right from a recreational user to addictive user! It could save you a lot of heart ache in the future just to check which one you are....that's all ;-) Thanks for responding to me....hope you get what you want! ;-) AS

".. i feel alone.. empty.. usually at weekends i drink a lot or/and smoke weed.." The scariest thing with this statement is you are making life decisions on how you are handling things. It is ironic how the weekends turn out to be your whole life. There is nothing recreational about this statement. It all starts out ok......until the day you try to quit. Just for fun, why don't you set a time limit for yourself. Say....a month. That isn't a long time. Try moving forward without the drugs and alcohol. You might surprise yourself, but in the end you will know where you stand. In control, or out of control. If you are out of control, you will have a billion excuses of why you should partake in the mean time. Or you will just tell yourself right now that it isn't a problem. Why don't you check? Just check? Take care, this is just my opinion. ;-) AS

Hi Fox, I would tend to sway to the fact that goats have been worth more than women in sociey for many centuries. It is only in the last hundered years or so that this has changed somewhat in developed areas. With human nature, I think we migrate to what we are used to and comfortable with. Behavior in the homes have not progressed as much as much as the laws. That is where I think the 'bad boy' syndrome started. As for the men going for the women who treat them bad, I think they are products of their environment as well. Overbearing mothers. Just a theory. ;-) AS

I have found in the past that words are really meaningless anyway. I have had some experiences with some pretty smooth talkers. That is all it is......talk. I don't worry so much about deep communication with men, because a lot of them are not practiced at it. Even if they want to, they just don't have the skills. The thing I focus on now isn't how well it is communicated verbally, and I curb my need to hear it; but rather if the actions of the person I am with is saying it to me. Actions is where the buck is, not just having them say it. Does your man show you with action that he loves you? AS

Hi guys, It's always a shame that we can't pick our parents! If he is just using and abusing you, shake him off. You can't help people that don't help themselves. Letting him stay is just asking for trouble, and ultimately it will come between you two big time. I am sure the pressure of this guy is doing it now. Trixiecracker, you are only 19 and should feel no obligation to raise your father. I imagine that you have been putting up with this behavior for a long time now. Let go with love. Tell him you love him, then tell him he has to move on to let you move on. Just my opinion. AS

It is always frustrating for us girls that are picking up the vibes, but then nothing!!!! lol To be REALLY cute, send a small gift of flowers saying exactly that. Would you like to go on a date with me, I would ask in person, but then I would walk all over my words flustered!!! LOL Something like that. That is CUTE!!! AS

I don't know if this is the case.....or not, but I had a room mate that went through back problems. He had surgery, so it was extreme. Back pain is usually pretty serious pain. He did a LOT of perkacet (bad spelling, sound it out! lol) Naturally, he became addicted. Once the doctor said his pain level was down enough to stop them....he went to other stuff. He hit the booze a lot harder (said it dulled the pain) , and then cocain. When ever people SHOULD have money, and don't....that is always a red flag. I don't know if you can discuss the topic of addiction to him, but for you......the worse thing to do is enable by giving money. The whole thing just sounds hauntingly familiar! Just my opinion. ;-) AS

60/40 are your chances! lol Who can predict what someone will do. The main thing is that you don't just go falling right back into her arms after being treated that way. There is no "game" about it!!!! Don't humiliate your self though. Play ball a little harder. Just my opinion. ;-) AS

If I were you.....and I am not.....I would play hard to get. Make her work for it a bit, see if she is serious or just running games. Just my opinion. ;-) AS

I didn't really mean to come off offensive. You poked fun twice at the spelling. I don't think that should be relevent. Don't mean to ruffle your feathers. AS

I don't think love has to do with age OR spelling. I am a horrible speller, and I didn't know that it was some kind of qualification to get someones advice!!!!! Not everyone's first language is English either. Britbrat, if he isn't going to accept your love, he doesn't deserve your love. Give it to someone who wants it, or you will just get really hurt....even more than now. You know how you feel now? You don't want it to be worse! ;-) Cheers, Take care. AS

Thank you. I do know you a bit now, because we have something very similar in our lives, and I am sure we are both working the same program. ;-) One day at a time sista! lol I think it is excellent that your life is moving forward. It's exciting, isn't it? There are so many gifts we get. I get anxious about things sometimes too. I started dating, and he is much younger. I get a little freaked about that sometimes, but for some reason, it feels right. I just need to get comfortable with that. Forget about the other shoe!!! ;-) AS

Hi Trinity, You mentioned that you are in recovery. All of the other relationships you had before were before this, right? I am guessing by your sober time, and your relationship time, you met him there. I think what is happening with you is awesome. Sometimes we wait for the other shoe to drop because our lives were unmanageable before, but that is not the case anymore. I say move forward with confidence, and your faith in hand without fear! It may be hard for the children to adapt at first, but they will adapt. It will pass. I'm happy for you. AS

Congrats on your time in!!!!! That is awesome. This weekend on Saturday, I was glad to take my one year. I am in recovery also. You can email me at email removed I would love to hear from you and chat. AS

It is hard to say with the details, or lack of, to really give anything of my experiences. I would think counsel is a great idea to get to the bottom of what is going on. JMO. ;-) AS

Ever hear the story of the Turtle and the Scorpion? I will condense it. A wicked storm comes up and these two (the turtle and the scorpion) discover they are on somewhat of an island when the tide came in. The scorpion knew it would drown when the full tide comes, and begged the turtle to take it accross to saftey. The Turtle says..Are you crazy, you will bite me. The scorpion replies, I need you to get to the other side. After thinking on it, the Turtle agrees to transport the scorpion. As it is struggling against the tides with the scorpion riding on it's back......it feels a sharp sting. The turtle screams....You bit me!!!!! Now we are BOTH going to die. The scorpion says....I couldn't help it, it's just my nature. The moral is, you can't change the nature of people. I would order dinner like he is coming, and if he doesn't......well, that's up to you if you wish to be treated that way. If you do, you can't complain or spend your time worrying, just accept that it is his nature. Just my opinion. ;-) AS

To me, it sounds a little like performance issues. I am just guessing at the age group here, but with words like pension.....widow....that sort of thing, I am guessing he may be at an age where the testostome (I am a bad speller) level may have dropped. Could this be the case? It might not have one single thing to do with you, or being rejected. Might be an avenue to investigate (very gentle like) lol ;-) AS

Sometimes it is just a teen thing, going for bad boy syndrome, and then again, if it passes the teens, it is usually a social problem. Unfortunately, 9 out of 10 times these are the types of examples they see in the home growing up. Whoever tells you it isn't a mans world anymore, tell them to jump into the nearest lake. Oppressiveness for women didn't just....stop.... after several thousand years. There is still a lot of abuse. "Glass celings in corporations" ect. The mentality hasn't changed all that much, just the rules that are supposed to change things. The same similarities are found in predjuce in ethnics. People SAY they aren't predjuce, and wouldn't say so because it is no longer politically correct, but deep down......... If you really want to check what kind of girl you are getting, ask her how her father treated her mother. It will give you loads of insight. AS