Aura Seeker

I believe that you will be in for more hurt if you pursue this. She has told you no. You have to hear that. As a girl, having had men trying to get me back, it is always more of a pity feeling I feel when they show up doing the flower thing. Don't go there. Have some dignity. She said no, and if she didn't mean it, she wouldn't have said it. I would let her go. Just my opinion A

I think some added lubrication may help a bit. I don't know how quick you are to get things on the way, but girls take longer to get the juices flowing. Try slowing down a bit, and make sure you have taken the time to make sure she is ready, and of course you can tell that by how lubricated she becomes naturally. Sounds like you are entering to soon, leaving her a bit dry......ouch! Just my opinion. A

We are all going to die! If you have this fear that you are going to do it soon, you should live each day to its fullest. You didn't say that they told you that you were going to die. Hug your girlfriend like you aren't going to be there tomorrow! I believe that your fear is unfounded, but if you indeed believe that you are going to die soon, embrace life. Personally, I am not afraid to die. I would be afraid of leaving my daughter behind and alone. If you spend your whole life being afraid that you are going to die (which you are, we all do) then you will have forgotten to live while you were alive. Take all things in its day. You are alive today, act alive. The day you die, act dead! ;-) A

LOL Mr. "Broomstick" ;-) There is a larger size. I think it is called JUMBO! No seriously, there are. I can't remember what they are called, but if you ask the pharm. he/she will tell you. It is nothing to be ashamed of anyway, not like you are asking for the mini micro size. ;-) A

I would have to say that judging by the things he has said and done to you, I would have to agree. He is messed up, and losing him will probably be the best thing to happen to you. He sounds very rude and inconsiderate having an on line affair, and making you quite aware of it. Run.....run now! ;-) Take his advise and divorce him. It may not be what you want, but you can tell it is what he wants and it will only get worse from there. I think once you have some distance, you will look back and say to yourself.....how did I put up with that for so long? PS just noticed you were asking for someone in a like situation. I have not been. Ever....and pray not to be. Sorry, I should have read closer. Just MY opinion. ;-) A

If what you are saying is true....then fine......it is still a problem that you are going to these lenghts to lose weight. I don't know if you heard yourself, but you said you used cocaine? You don't see anything wrong with that statement? I would re visit the methods and the lenghts you are going to do lose weight. There are still red flags up all over the place. Just MY opinion. A

I just wanted to add my two cents in and ask if you understand that this is a control issue? Do you know that? Sometimes it helps to look at the reasons of why we do things. I have never had this problem, but a very close friend of mine did with her daughter. She just about died. By the way, don't starve yourself and then work out, that is what causes the heart attacks. You can not have your body empty of any nutrition and exert it. This eating thing is what makes you feel like you have some sense of power in your life. that is why it is flaring up so bad right now. Everything seems to be out of control for you. This false sense of control is the method you are using to cope. If you don't go and get this looked at right now, it will be to late, and you will be in for a world of hurt for a very long time. It is not an easy thing to beat once it sets in. You will be like the junkie with a needle in his arm, saying I don't want to do this anymore.....but keeps doing it. It's insanity. Don't take yourself down that road. A

I was also going to add this, then got busy at work.... When you are writing the letter to him, I have found in the past the most effective way is to watch terminalogy. For instance, instead of.... you are such a jerk when you cut me off and I am talking. Very rude. Try to stay away from blame terms like YOU do this and YOU do that. Go instead with.....When you interrupt me when I am talking *I* feel that you do not take what I have to say seriously. It's important to me in our relationship that you feel some respect for me. When you use the YOU word to him....it will put his defenses up, and the objective is to have him hear what you are trying to tell him. ;-) Hope that helps A

Hi, It is clear by all your posts about this girl!!!!! Get it over with.....ask her to be your girlfriend already! lol ;-) Maybe you can't see this, but from an outsider looking in.....you are in love with her. You are never going to know if it is more or not, unless you hurry up and ask her. Hurry up!!!! LOL Before some other guy comes along, and she goes because YOU have never said anything to not make her go. ;-) A

Hi Sweetipie, Write the letter with all the emotions you are feeling. Vent in the letter. Blast him. Then, put the letter down for a whole day and night, then read over it and see if that's really how and what you want to say. It's amazing how things look different in 24 hrs. Plus it really brings out exactly what you do want to say. As you're reading you will go....oh, don't want that....and yep....defininatly that! It filters it out into a rational letter. A

Hi there, I think if he is not encouraging her, you have nothing to worry about. I totally hear how you feel though. My boyfriend is way younger than me, and there is this girl in the crowd that has totally made it clear that she likes him. At first I was put out by that, because she is very young and beautiful. Even I like her. She's a great girl. If I let that emotion get out of hand, it will only eat me up. He doesn't seem to be interested, and we joke at how she stares to long sometimes (because he's no slouch, pretty cute) and if he did, there is nothing I could do to prevent it anyway, so I just let it go. If he was trying to make me jealous, that would be a whole different game, but he doesn't. I works my ego a bit even, that this girl is so beautiful, personable and smart.....and he chooses to be with me. He chooses to be with you. ;-) A

I had no idea that that term was insulting. You are the first person to say that. It is the common term. Are you sure this is supposed to be insulting? I have heard the term often......and it wasn't in a racist manner. It is just a term that replaces "half this, and half that" I think you are wrong on this, but I will make sure to look into it myself, because I would never use a racist term. A

Hi there. Here are some things that I have learned in my life. Blaming God gets you nowhere. Putting blame on others or God, just takes the issue away from your part in it. If you read the bible, you may remember a phrase in there where Jesus says "Satan is the ruler of this system of things" It explains why the world is so messed, and second, we know that it isn't what is 'right". If you think this world sucks, it's because you are NOT crazy. God isn't granting Osama anything. Another thing is: WE are in control of how we feel. Nobody or anything can make you mad, happy, sad....ect. This....we own. You need to take responsibility of how you are letting your emotions run amuck! You are the master of your own body and mind. Act it. Take charge. We create our own destiny. We create that by how we react to things and the goals we set for ourselves. Stop putting blame on others and take responsibility for your own life. You are an adult now, and make your own decisions, and anything that happened in your past can not be blamed anymore, because you are in charge now. Take that power that you have and make it positive. Weed out the negative. I wish you the best, and I hope nothing sounded harsh. You are the only one who has the power to change things. God can not drive a parked car. Take action. Just MY opinion A

I have often found that the guys say they are "nice" when REALLY the term that should be used is 'needy" I can't stress enough to you guys that you should not come off as needy, and you all thinking it is just being 'nice" Big difference. Don't try to be the nice guy all the time, because this really does come off as needy. I don't know if this would apply to you, but maybe take a look at your motives when you are being what you call nice. Have boundries. I would like to hear your examples of nice. Being a tryhard isn't attractive to girls. Make sure you know the difference between nice and needy. It may make a big difference for you. Just my opinion A

It seems as though you are guessing what is on his mind. Someday after chruch, ask him to go for coffee, and that there is a few things you would like to get clear. Put some closure on it. Get him to tell you if there is shot at moving forward or not. Listen to that answer. If he says no, don't go making yourself crazy by reading mixed messages or anything like that. When you are asking him for coffee, make sure you are clear that it is a closure meeting, and it is something you need to do. A

Hi there. I had a malotto (sp) boyfriend once, and he hated the african american side of himself. He even thought that Whitney Huston was ugly!!!!! You didn't mention what the other side to you is, but instead of ignoring it, why not embrace it. I don't care what it is that you are, every culture has a beautiful side. If I was going to pick a race that discusts me the most....it would be white. To me we are bland and have no culture or family unity. Embrace and express the beautiful side of you. Don't be ashamed. Go get involved with the community, help those that can use your strength. If you are native, go be a role model for the native children. My advise it to go and embrace it, and never be ashamed of who you are. You didn't even mention it here! Scream it from the roof tops!!! Don't hide. You will just be hating yourself. Just my opinion A

Excellent site. Maybe I will see you there.! C

It's me again. I also wanted to share with you some hope. I ended up going to an all Native Treatment center. I am not native, and I have to say I was a bit intimidated by it all. I led a double life and didn't live on the rough side at all, so .....fear is the basis of predjudices and I wasn't going to let that rule me. Plus I was desperate for help. I was losing everything and everybody. It was the most amazing experience in my life. There was a sweat lodge there, and the most interesting medicine man that was the pipe holder and conducted the sweat lodge. I came alive when I was there in just 42 days. The native people are so spiritual and I am always so glad that I didn't chicken out. Here is a poem I wrote for the medicine man. They pray with sweet grass and that is what is meant by "smoke" written for Phillip, the medicine man at Wah Pow 02/13/02 The New Warrior We came to this land, running from ourselves, searching out a brand new day, desperate for a new way. The land was cruel and unforgiving, A gentle hand appeared, we kept living. Food, life, laughter and song, These were the gifts, nothing seemed wrong. We are the future, the way, the light. Wise Chiefs said NO, then came the fight. Skies grew dark from clouds of dust, Blood ran in the rain from the white man's lust. They soon learned well, our right white ways, Lying, drinking, how to betray. The spirit of the Eagle fell silent, asleep, Mother Earth watched on, and painfully weeped. Old men asked in the midst of smoke, Why the eagle sleeps, where is the hope? A new day will come, a new warrior will rise, They will remind our people, erase all the lies. Keep forgiving the savage white, They know not what they have done, Do know that Eagle spirit lives, Hidden by the sun. end) Just don't lose faith that there is no way out. I found myself in the most peculiar unexpected place. A

Hi again. Here is what I wrote in the storm of my addictions. Silence swells in the room, lingering are so many words unsaid. War torn hearts holding hands in the black cold summer night. Neither one knowing what love is, with failure in every attempt. Vacant souls clinging out of desperation, seeking life and human touch. Together, the eye of the storm enters the room bringing a window of peace. Black then lightens to a dark shade of grey. Slivers of light appear so brief and dim. Mingled in passion, the cold tides slide out. Haunted and consumed with consfusion, it beckons the darkness to return in haste. There is a strange feeling of comfort and is a welcome old friend. Echos of the memory, and hopes linger like an evasive dream. Ripples of the future dissapate before reaching a destination. Illusions are stripped away, passion and wishes again bound with realities. Freezing dark waters flood back to engulf me. A chilling reminder that happiness and peace don't know who I am. Then the lover that divides all lovers, returns to reclaim its own. If I am cold or lonely, he will give me warmth and comfort. In a crowd I feel alone, alone with him and I feel complete and whole. He is a warrior, and sworn with blood in his commitment to me. Loneliness is a distant memory in his intense embrace. All other lovers are shadows in the dark. His love is possessive, and only allows brief moments with others. He goes by many names, most know him as addiction. His jealously just won't allow room for three. Insistant that death will only come while holding me close in his arms. (end) Reading back on this seems like lifetimes ago, but I still remember, I remember enough not to go back. I was always so angry that I was dead, but alive, and never had the courage to end the insanity. I am glad now that I didn't. There is a whole new life waiting for you. An amazing life. Don't let it take you....dead or alive! ;-) A

Very sad poem. I know exactly how you feel. If you are still here tomorrow, I will share a poem that I wrote in my addictions as well. It is sad......like yours. Both of our poems end with death being the only escape, but I am here to tell you that you can beat it. I did, and so can you, you just have to want it. PM me if you want, and we can talk. big cyber hugs! PS. It just occurred to me that maybe you didn't write this and you are just posting it. ;-) You didn't say it was your poem. Is it? A

Hi there, You never know, she may be waiting for you to say something. You should just say something. What is there to lose? She will still be your friend. Just say that simple phrase. Do you think we should give it a shot together. A one second question. You may be surprised by her answer. ;-) A

No, your main question is if she likes YOU! lol ;-) The next time she is inbetween dating, just ask her......."so, think maybe we should give it a shot?" Just ask. We never get the things or people we want until we do. ;-) Just my opinion. A

That's a horrible situation to be in. I have found with people like that, just let them spin their tires, and waste their energy, and let them live and steep in their own crap. Be as kind as you can to them.....even if it hurts. Two things will be accomplished. 1) your being is staying healthy. 2) it will eat them up that they are not getting under your skin, and that you are the better person for taking the high road. (evil grin) They will start to drive themselves nuts by trying to drive you nuts. Let it be water off a ducks back, and don't let them rent space inside your head. If you pray....pray for them. A

I know tons of people. I was one. You don't have to leave him to go to alanon to get some life skills. It is something to look at anyway. A