Becky35

I did ask him how he would feel about seeing each other exclusively. Not living together though. He seemed intrigued by this, but then he brought up the problems from our past. He seems to think that because I haven't slept with anyone since our separation that I'm just turned on right now..., that our relationship will return to little or no sex. Since our separation, I've read many books on what men want in a marriage, and how sex is not only important, but vital for a healthy relationship. During the marriage I was so jealous of his internet addiction that I just turned off to him out of resentment. I ended up on anti-depressants and that made it worse; I was numb, and ended up leaving him. I truly love him, and would like a second chance to try again, now that I'm more educated and self-confident.

Well, I have some updates. In the last week, we've talked on the phone 3 or 4 times, and the last couple of times our conversations lasted between 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Never before have we EVER done this! Last night things got quite confortable during our conversation. We talked about sex and stuff. At first, he seemed interested in getting romantic again, but then he started saying things like, "I don't know, what if things start off really good and then go back to the way it was, i.e., not enough sex," "What if I wanted to see someone else, how would that make you feel if we had been intimate," "I can't just date a couple of women, if I'm going to be intimate, then it has to be exclusive," "Have you thought of being with another man, if not, how are you going to feel if I move on?" I asked him about the kiss, because I totally was not expecting it, I mean, it had been 7 months since he'd kissed me! He told me that he thought about it, and was hoping that I would not think anything more about it. He said that it was just a friendly kiss - nothing more. I'm not sure what to make of this. I think he's scared. He also said my son drives him crazy sometimes and he's not sure if he can handle being around him. It's not like he hates him or anything, it's just that my 13 year old loves to be around him and can be a real pest sometimes. He is the only "Father," my son knows, after all, he's been in his life since he was 4. I wrote my ex an email this morning telling him that maybe he's right, and I should start dating other men, just to see who's out there. I told him I'd still like to see him, but we should keep it casual, and if it feels right, take it from there. I don't know, what do you think?

Oops! I forgot to include something. We had lunch together the same day, and when I got ready to leave he grabbed me and gave me a HUGE hug, and then he kissed me (not sensual, but a lingering "I miss you," kiss).

We had another date! He sprung for dinner at his apartment and we watched a movie until about 11 pm. I got another BIG hug, but no kiss this time.

Since my divorce on 10/3/03, my ex and I are now on speaking terms again. We actually got together for dinner at his apartment and spend two hours talking (light conversation; however, he talked a lot about how stupid he was for screwing around with an ex-girlfriend). His online/telephone romance went into the dumps a month ago, but he told me that some new woman at work is trying to set him up with one of her friends. Why is this important? Must be his self-esteem issue! Anyway, he tried to get REALLY close to me a couple of times, but I just played it cool..., I don't want to be a REBOUND relationship to his online fling. He emails me occasionally and we talk on the phone if I call him, but I haven't heard from him in 4 days. Should I just let nature take its course and let him do the pursuing?

My ex-husband recently responded to a friendly email I sent him. He didn't sound very happy about his life, one of the things he said was, "Life is not perfect, but I'm given everything I need to live." The whole message sounded depressing; I felt sorry for him. He ended it with, "I wasn't going to respond, but something told me that I should let you know I'm ok." Are there hidden messages here? He divorced me, so I assumed he would be doing great!

I want him back because I love him. I left to get his attention. He wasn't always this way. If I'm important enough to him, he'll quit! Look, since the divorce, he's called me twice and hung up, and emailed me once. Nothing major, I know, but we've only been divorced 18 days. I'm thinking that maybe he's trying to tell me something. He's a "Big Chicken," when it comes to confrontation. He fears rejection.

He divorced me because I moved out after 3 yrs of his addiction to online porn and chat rooms. His family and an ex-girlfriend helped him divorce me. We reconciled for two months this past spring, but he went through with the divorce because (1) he met someone online (lives 3000 miles away) who tells him everything he wants to hear, and (2) his family convinced him that he'd never be happy with me (I tried to help him fight to live a normal life, as he suffers from depression/anxiety). His family thought I wasn't catering to him enough, and thought I was unsympathetic. We were together for 8 years.

What are some of the indirect signs that tell you the ex wants back in your life.

If your parents initially felt like you were out of control, then they should have called the cops to take over the situation. Nobody has a right to zip tie your ankles and wrists, and force pills down your throat. They also do not have a right to kick your feet out from under you, and smack your head against a rock.

What do you mean by rampage? He divorced me. Do you think he is regretting what he did?

I have been officially divorced for 18 days. Last wednesday, I got a hang-up call (ex used to do this), he emailed me yesterday to reply to a previous email of mine (he hasn't responded to my emails for months), and today, I got a hang-up call on my private extension at work. The email I sent him was an update to a previous one about a shooter in the area, and to not take a certain road during the lunch-hour as there was a police chase. My email stated, "The police have the dummy surrounded at the bank." His reply was, "Did you think it was me? Ha!" What the heck does that mean? Is he trying to tell me he's a "Dummy?"

We were married 7 yrs, and our divorce was final October 3rd. I still love him very much. I don't want to start over with someone else. What are the chances that he still might love me? Since our separation, he slept with an ex-girlfriend, and has been communicating with someone online/telephone. He did come back for two months after the first six months apart; however, last month he said that he's setting me free from living my life with a "Mentally screwed-up basket case." What does it mean when a man pushes a woman away by saying negative things about himself?

"Outside Help." I moved out to get his attention. We've been together for 8 years, married 7. He had a lot of issues with porn and online chatting with women as I'm sure you can read in my other posts. When I left, instead of bringing me back home and fighting for the marriage, he called his ex-girlfriend. She was able to get her claws into him, as he was vulnerable at the time. This ex is the one who has been doing all the divorce paperwork, not just because my husband was too cheap to hire a legal typist, but because she wanted him back. He has a stable government job, and she feels insecure in her own marriage; however, she's was always married to "Someone," when seeing my husband before we got together. The other outside help consists of my in-laws. These people believe that my husband's depression/anxiety disorder was caused by me and my now, 13 year old son; however, this wasn't stated until they found out that I left him. Funny though, after he was diagnosed, we were told that this disorder ran in his father's side of the family. They have been instrumental in convincing him that the "Divorce," is the best thing for him. If he says, "I don't love my wife anymore," then it's okay...., you shouldn't be with someone you don't love. What ever happened to people helping others resolve conflicts, or at least getting to the bottom of the reason for the conflict. The other woman he talks to on the phone all the time, apparently likes him "Just the way he is," according to HIM! She doesn't even really know him! Makes me think that she's just enabling him so that he won't try to work on his marriage. Now it's over..., I just can't believe it's really over. It's like a nightmare, and I can't wake up.

My divorce was final on 10/3/03. My husband filed for this divorce, as he believes that I'm better off without him due to his depression/anxiety disorder. He really thinks he's "Mentally screwed-up." What I would like to know is, will he EVER regret this HUGE mistake? I didn't want the divorce, and he's had a lot of "Outside," influences helping him end our marriage. I love him still, sick or not!