Jeffrey19

About 2 weeks ago I wrote a topic on how crap life is since I've moved town with my mum. Well things haven't improved, still no job, no friends, no girl. I've been applying for jobs, been to interviews but have been rejected. Me and my mum are struggling to make ends meet. We eat peanut butter sandwhiches for lunch and have a few sparse meals through out the day. My cars fuel is in the red zone. So last night I changed the number plate tags on my car, went to a self serve gas station and filled my car up with $70 of petrol and then sped away like a bat out of hell without paying. I know, wrong. Haven't stole before and it plays on my conscious a little. They have cameras at the gas station but I was dressed with a hood over my face and I purposely changed my license plate tag so if they trace it it won't lead back to me. If I go in and explain what I did they'll most likely just get the cops onto me, I have no money to pay them back at the moment and even when i get a job and go back to pay them I don't think it would be welcomed on the gas station attendants behalf. Anyway I strongly believe I won't get caught, so I'm thinking, it's just best to let sleeping dogs lie, right?

I've moved to a different town with my mum 6 weeks ago and things have just gone from bad to worse. At least in my old town(some 300 miles away) I had a few friends and a job. Right now I have nothing. No friends, no girl, no job.... basically, no life. The only humans I talk to are my mother and the person at the checkout register when I'm shopping. Other then that I live in pretty much solitary confinement. I'm looking for a job but to no avail so far. Friends, well I never really knew how to make friends in the first place anyway, the only reason I had friends before was because they approached me and asked if I wanted to hang out. Doesn't happen anymore. Girls, pfffft, forget that. Without having some guy friends around I would be way toooo clingy and desparate with a girl. Don't get me wrong, I want a girlfriend, but in my state of mind I'm just trying my best not to get attracted to anyone. Once I get attracted to a girl and they don't feel the same I just feel 10x worse anyway. Basically my day is made up of waking up in the morning and going job hunting. Then coming home and watching TV, playing computer games, Listen to music and just generally looking forward to going to sleep, but then having trouble going to sleep because thoughts of complete and utter lonliness running through my head. I used to drink alot but went to see a councellor and felt better tempoarily. I'm trying not to get back into drinking again, but it's hard when you feel so down in the dumps and you've gotten nothing going for you. At least I know drinking made me fill up the void of lonliness, albeit only tempoarily. I lay in bed and just think; "what happened to me? where did I go soo wrong?" But I only draw blanks. It hurts when you hear about other people going out on Saturday nights with their friends, or guys just staying over at their girlfriends place cuddling and having a movie night together with popcorn. I haven't ever done anything like that, and I'm turning 20 this month. Damn, just righting this in my pitch black room is bringing tears to my eyes. I have joined a gym here in my new town, makes me feel partially better, but I can't spend all day at the gym. All I need is too know that well, I am liked, I am human. I need to connect with humans in a not such a superficial way. I have no one, and actually never had a close enough friend, to say this stuff that I'm typing to a bunch of strangers right now. I'm on anti depressants for about 9 months now but they don't help. Is there anyone else who's been in my position and got out of it and live a happy rich life filled with good friends and girlfriends? I'm at the end of the rope here, and don't know how much more longer I can go on feeling this lonley pain that takes a bigger part of me everyday.

Thanks for trying to lighten up my mood guys, I appreciate the time you took to try and help me. Yeah I don't try to "force" it. I do just have general chit chat about trivial things, but I can see that they would rather be somewhere else. I don't unfortunately. I have never had a single female(other then my mother) who I could call a friend. It's not really about being intimate with women, more or less that I don't, and never had, just a friendship with a girl. I hear a lot of guys saying that all girls just want me as "friends" and nothing more. I would be happy if I could get some female friends. I think the basis of a good relationship grows from friendship. No, all my friends have had a girlfriend. No this isn't the case. I have a 6th sense for these sort of things and I'm fairly good at reading body language. With the other signs they show(won't go into details) they're basically telepathically telling me "Stop talking too me, I'm not interested in you!" Anyhow thanks for trying folks. It was worth a shot.

Hello everyone, I've got some issues. Last week my sister came over from the eastern states, I haven't seen her in 3 years. So we get talking about relationships and when I told her I'm 19 and never had a girlfriend, in all serious she asked me, "Jeff, are you gay?" Damn, that left me shocked. She apologized after she saw my shock. Made me think though, if a family member thinks I'm gay, how many other people think I'm gay? People tend to think that you must be a real weirdo or homosexual if you're 19 and haven't been on a single date yet. I must say, I'm starting to feel like a bit of an outcast these days. What worries me is that I have no experience, so lets say I'm lucky enough to land a date in 10yrs time, what woman would want a relationship with a grown man who is still a baby to the whole dating scene? I would be completely inexperienced and have no idea what I'm doing, because it's something I should have learnt in highschool, mingling with the opposite sex. I read somewhere(can't remember where) a psychiatrist saying that as human beings, we need relationships. Without relationships we don't grow as people. Sounds fairly true to me. People say your young, you still have time. True, I am only 19, but I don't see things changing in the future. I'm not completely oblivious to the signs when someone is attracted to you. I'm fairly good with reading body language. People say if you don't ask you won't get. It's not that I'm too afraid of rejection, but girls will show some sign of interest if they're attracted to you. I don't get any signs from girls, I have nothing to work with. "You're probably just too shy.." Bull. I talk and talk with co-workers and what not. I have no problems talking. I try talking to girls, they keep their voices quite, monotone and their eyes averted from mine and they don't smile. They try to keep the conversation as short as possible too. Sorry for the length of this post, everything just seems to have snowballed me these last few days. It also doesn't help me that it's valentines day next week too. That coupled with family thinking I'm homosexual just depresses me. I know I'm doomed to inevitable isolation for my life. I just couldn't stand this pressure caving down on my chest, had to let it out of me. Thanks for listening.

Hi all, I've liked this girl for about 6 months now. She works at the same store I do, she's very pretty, 16 years old and has a boyfriend I'm 19 by the way. Well you see I asked her out back in July and then she broke it to me that she has a boyfriend. I CAN NOT get her out of my head, since I work with her it is IMPOSSIBLE. Now I'm thinking of looking for a new job, but on the other hand I think, why should I? I like my job, what happens if at my new Job there is another girl I fancy and can't have then I'm into the same dilemma again. Everyone here says it's best to know the girl you like how you feel, so you know where you stand. I don't think that applies to me. When I tell her how I feel I(in my own mind) believe she should some how reciprocate the feelings... crazy I know. I can't control others feelings but it's just the way I am.... I have a counsellor but nobody really understands how I feel, it's been 6 months and know she likes other "hotter" guys at work, you know, guys in the same LEAGUE as her... It make me EXTREMELY jealous... What should I do??

If you think finding another job will make life easier for you then, yes, leave. Oh and at your new job, don't ask any girls out you work with, infact don't even get interested in any other chicks at your new job. Whenever those thoughts come into your head about some hot chick at your new work who's 'all that and then some', use your right hand in the toilet block before you see the girls you desire. It'll make it easier to deal with them when you're not out their with a loaded magnum.

No she stays away from alcohol for a while, but when she starts drinking she doesn't seem to know when enough is enough and makes a complete fool out of herself. I'm sure her co-workers are talking about her incident right now, having a good laugh..... Not only does she lose respect for herself but she also makes me look bad....

Hi, Since my parents split up 14 months ago my mother has started drinking. I mean for example today after work she had to be bought home after drinking too much after a after work party. She couldn't even stand straight and I had to hold her as I walked her to her bed. She's sleeping it off right now. It's majorly embarrassing for me. Alot of the people my mother works with I work with some of their children. How does it sound when they know my mother is a drinker that gets so drunk on occasions that she's throwing up and can't even walk.... I feel guilty though because I've haven't exactly been the mother Teresa type since my parents split. I'm 19 by the way. I started drinking heavily too, but at least I never let it be shown to my mother.... I stopped drinking as much though. So what should I do, tell my mother to smarten up and stop embarrassing herself(which she is, by getting so drunk she can't even walk) and me? How should I tell her this? I don't want to sound like a hypocrite though since I used to drink heavily often and my mother never abandoned me, but it's not fun when I have to check on my mother all the time to make sure she's still sleeping in the fetal position and not on her back..... Advice? Thanks

Yep I know where you're coming from penguin. I'm still stuck on one of my co-workers. A fair few girls start to talk with me but only rarely do very pretty girls just come out of the blue and make small talk with me, and when hot chicks do initially start off with me I'm instantly smitten and think to myself "hey, maybe she's interested..." But I never think like that about the other girls, strange. I've only had 4 crushes(not love) in my 19 years on earth, but boy were they painful knowing I can't have them.... Oh, what was your question again? Oh yeah, you're not alone I have the same problem

Aghh. That's always the risk when you tell a friend that you feel more then just "friendship" and they don't feel the same... Makes things awkard at first. I say just give it time, she's probably still surprised and maybe a little shocked. Give it time though, just keep talking to her like you used to and pretend you never told her how you felt. Eventually, it'll get easier.

I've been trying to quit too. I know people say to gradually decrease the number of cigarettes you smoke a day but it's hard when you have a pack staring you in the face! I know. Here is something that has helped my cut back a little though. Put your smokes at a very hard to get place. At home I buried my smokes in hole in the backyard. Everytime I want a smoke I have to go outside, get a shovel and dig. Then only take out ONE smoke only and bury the pack again. Also if you work don't take your smokes to work, when you're on your tea break just go upstairs and have a coffee and cake(or whatever the hell you want to eat) Well this has helped me out somewhat anyway. Give it a go...

Why do people get drunk? Well the answers could be endless. Most people just like to let their hair down on a saturday night after a week of work and alcohol can enhance positive feelings. Other people might drink out of boredom, loneliness, as a confidence booster, emotional problems etc etc... Most like to escape reality once in a while, some people more then others. Teens might drink out of peer pressure, looking grown up or "cool". I used to drink heavily, like 12-15 standard drinks a day because of the reasons I've mentioned in the first paragraph. But I've cut back alot nowdays and only drink when in the company of others on the weekend, well I try too anyway....

Hello, I'm 19 now and have been smoking since I was 15 but I want to quit now, for the sake of my health in the long run. As I write this post I only have 3 smokes left and I want to make it my last 3 ever. Can anyone tell me their experiences of going "cold turkey"? Also should I buy nicotine patches or the nicotine gum, but I'm skeptical about those products because if they really worked, wouldn't everyone that wanted to quit be able to quit then? Like to hear some advice from ex-smokers. Thanks!

Thank you guys for taking the time to give me your insightful advice. Faeriechild> Yes I was seeing a counselor in conjuction with taking my anti depressants. My doctor seems to be the pill happy type. All I said to him was "well I think I'm depressed" and basically all he said was "well I'll put you on some anti depressants", "that should help" he didn't ask me why I feel like this, how long I've felt like this, nothing.... just wrote me a prescription and out I went. alwaysafraid> yes I will see my doctor again and tell him they're not really helping. And no long posts are good! the longer they are the more insight you give, I appreciate it. Thank you. Might just have to find the right medication for me. But I was thinking that maybe I'm not really depressed in the first place. Here are some of my symptons which maybe someone could clarify. -some days I feel fine for most of the day, then I start crying some other days -when I'm lonely, which is often, I drink large amounts of alcohol to numb my feelings - I have no motivation to do anything - I always believe that I'm inferior to others - I don't want to participate in anything really these days and prefer being myself imprisoned in 4 walls called my bedroom, even though I don't like it - I make mountains out of mole hills, what are minor things for others seem to be huge setbacks for me and it's hard to get over My counselor was the one that thought I had depression and she adviced me to see a doctor about it. I don't know, maybe I'm bi-polar? Some days I feel ok, then other days I feel very sad and out of it. Well I'll see my doctor again anyway. Thanks guys.

Hello, Well about 4 months ago I was prescribed some anti depressants (remeron) and well while on them I still felt depressed at times like before. The only real benifits I felt from taking them (remeron) was that I could fall asleep easier at night. So 2 days ago I just stopped taking them and, well, don't feel any different as if I was on them. But I read in the pamphlet that it is important that I should just NOT immediately stop taking this medication without consulting a doctor. Why is that? If they weren't really helping my depression why can't I just stop taking them, I don't feel any different now that I've been off them for 2 days. Any ideas on why they don't want people to stop taking it cold turkey? Thanks