brtlangst

I know how you feel but I happen to be dating the guy that I met online, we met and person and we just clicked...I've never met anybody like him...even though he is 5 years older than me we didn't care, I wouldn't call it an obsession but we're very much in love. The point of what I'm trying to get as is depending on the age of you and this guy you could always patch up the friendship if you so desired. If you really are missing him tha tmuch give it time and maybe you can stay just "cyber friends". But I don't really blame you for cutting off connection. I was scared when I first met Alan, he was 20 and I'm 15. I was afraid to get hurt emotionally by this person...or maybe even physically, but I pushed those fears aside and met him. I learnt from then on that he wasn't going to hurt me...and now my parents are finally starting to accept him. Er...before I ramble again...I just want you to know the relationship you had with this person isn't strange...but if it wasn't healthy then I'm proud that both of you had the courage to move on. If you're missing him maybe you should go out and do something with your friends that live by you? I always found that as a way to get things off my mind...But, later when you're older or more ready perhaps you could start over again with him. If you need an ear, I'm here. -Amie

Thanks, I'll take that into consideration, but we are still going to meet tomorrow. I've taken all the precautions as to having my parents not find out, and he knows the risks. But this will be the only time until my parents become more comfortable with the idea. I want to see how compatable I am with this person. My parents have agreed to meet him eventually...and we're both willing to wait till I'm 18 to get into anything serious.

Okay here goes...I met this guy online that I immediately clicked with. We both have the same "out looks" on life and I've never met anybody like him! I know the dangers of online dating but he knows one of my good friends, and they've met before. So anyway, we've been talking a lot, and on the phone a few times. After a little while I became his girlfriend. But my parents soon found out and flipped, they threatened to take legal action. He is 20 and I'm 15, it wouldn't be a huge deal if I was 20 and he was 25 but...Anyway I've always had more in common with older guys, I've dated a guy who is 18. I guess I can just relate to older people in general because they're more mature. If you look at some of my previous posts I talk about how I had to grow up fast. I told my parents that we had agreed to wait three years for eachother so that way I could be 18 and date him without my parents bothering me. Which me and him had a long discussion about, and we're both ready to do that. But, he's coming up here this weekend and I'm going to go visit him at a public place with my friend Doug who knows him. [My parents don't know] I guess I'm just scared I could get this guy in some legal issues, because he's a sweetheart and I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt him But I've been trying to find Ohio's sodomy laws and I've had no luck...I think the age that you can legally consent to sex is 18 there, but I just want to make sure. I don't plan on having sex with this guy I just want to know these things in advance.

I would think that they don't have to be your spouse if they're 17 or above, it would be rediculous to not be able to have sex with your spouse...

Looked it up and it appears you're safe § 21.11. INDECENCY WITH A CHILD. (a) A person commits an offense if, with a child younger than 17 years and not the person's spouse, whether the child is of the same or opposite sex, the person: Took me awhile to find but that is for TX If you need more info the link was this... capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/docs/PE/content/htm/pe.005.00.000021.00.htm Good Luck, you'll need it.

I think she wants both of your guy's attention. Which isn't fair of her to do. She might be wanting to use you as a friend, to talk to about her problems and such. Which is fine if you're okay with being her friend and listening to her talk about her bf. But personally I'd move on and forget about her. I dated a guy for 2 years, fell in love with another guy and never talked to the guy i dated before. I know it's not fair and it hurts really bad but you can't let yourself get walked on by her. You need to figure out what's right for you and focus more on yourself. Otherwise she'll keep coming back to hurt you again, kind of like putting you on the back burner. But if you dated this girl for 3 years and you're 17 that means you started dating when you were 14. Personally I think long lasting relationships in high school are hard to deal with. You can grow more if you date a number of people. But I don't have much room to talk, lol. Good luck if you need anything else I'm here, -Amie

That's a very um...interesting lifestyle.... *BUT* If you get sexual enjoyment from another woman touching you in those sorts of ways, be it your aunt or some friend of yours then yeah you could be. If you're attracted to your aunt then signs point to you being homosexual to some degree. On another note... I'm not a very big incest fan, are you sure you know what you're doing? Plus...a threesome is fine if that's what you choose but with your aunt and her bf? I think that's a little extreme. Sorry if I judged the situation...it's just suprising. But yes, I do believe it's wrong, sexually and morally.

Maybe try looking at her picture while you talk to her on the phone. Listen to her voice closely so you can judge her reaction. But most of all, if you're that nervous, just tell her. I'm sure she'd be willing to help you feel more comfortable on the phone. Relationships are all about communication and talking on the phone is just another step. I'm surprised that you find it harder to talk to her on the phone than in person. Just try talking to her like you normally would, calm down, breathe and take it slow. Remember, practice makes perfect

I'm in a 5 year age gap relationship...and honestly people think I'm crazy. I'm 15 and he's 20. But I honestly don't care, we both agreed to wait until I'm old enough legally to get too serious but this guy is unlike anybody I have ever met. Haha, but what I'm trying to say is, it's not the age that matters it's the maturity. I'm very mature for my age because of the different things I had to go through as a kid, so naturally I grew up faster. As long as you two are mentally the same age that's all that matters.

I've seen people have similiar things done to them, and it'll only hurt more if you sit around and wait for him to be ready. I understand that you really like him but it won't hurt you to see other people, try opening up to that idea gradually and if it helps keep in mind that you still could date him later since you're only taking a "break". Best of luck, and don't break NC, it's one of the worst things you could do in this situation.

Soft and alluring Your touch couldn't be more...welcoming Keep me here, Begging for more Your kisses, A wet warmth I've longed to taste You've crept inside A broken part of me Gently scraping up the pieces Of a past long pushed aside Shattered and alone I sat inside the shell, Of a hollow being Too scared to reach out To feel a warm embrace You found me there, Lying prone to the world Trapt inside a cage Of the pain I could no longer stand to feel You approached me quietly, Reaching past the bars Your hand patiently waiting For a touch of compassion Reluctantly I grasped your hand, Afraid to be pushed away You smiled knowingly, As I gazed into your eyes You saw a resemblance long desired An understanding of the scars Held deep inside We sat there for awhile, Holding eachother's hand Silence sincere To our mutual understanding I reached inside my pocket, Feeling for a cold comfort Of the key I've long kept Buried deep inside To my surprise, I handed the key to you The key to the many locks and chains, Entwined around my heart shaped cage As I whispered slowly in your ear I think I'm falling for you... -Amie

Ouch okay...so my "friend" posted this on the forums but it got taken down due to language I guess. Either way I thought it'd be nice for people to see her reaction to my letter. "Wow Amie, you sound so upset about what's happening. I left you a nice reply on enotalone, but they took it down because it was disrespectful. That's too bad, because I think it was good. So, I'll be "disrespectful" in your journal instead. You can delete it, but at least I'll know you read it. I don't get why you're making such a big deal out of your letter. It meant pretty much NOTHING to me. All I heard from it was that you blame all your "problems" on your parents. It's not fair that you get to do that, but all my problems have to be all my fault. The things that are going on aren't entirely your fault, and I said that. Yes, they are mostly my fault. I forget what else I wrote. Something along the lines of 'f* you'." Yeah, it was kinda stupid, I think she was just trying to get me mad. Anyway I replied this... Wow...nice...I didn't say it was my parents fault...I just said it affected me, I realize that now. I couldn't understand what it did to me when I was a child but the affects are still here. I don't get why you have to be so selfish sometimes, and I'm not going to delete this because I want everybody to see how much of a "friend" you really are. F* you too Jessica ^^ Oh, and lastly, it really does bother me that I don't have anybody to hang out with but I got over it. I don't want people to read my journal and think I'm weak and I want their pitty, 'cuz I don't. If you're going to be mean about it so be it, but I'm not going to dwell on it. You seem awfully happy yourself. I'm not trying to make this into a post just listing our arguments but I want some honest opinions on how I reacted and what she said. Be blunt, it doesn't bother me too much anymore. And lastly, please don't send her any pm's since she is a member of this forum, I dont' want this to be a hate chain -Amie

Thanks...but I don't really think she got the letter....she didn't say much about it.. *sigh* atleast I learnt more about myself while writing it.

This is a letter I wrote to friend...I guess I'm just trying to be honest with myself for a change.. comments would be nice...sorry it's rather long. But it's kinda my life story. Dear Jessica, I'm not sure why I'm writing this, I felt compelled to express my true feelings. I guess I never really explained who I was because I don't really understand that myself. All I know is that I've always been this way. Let's start by when I was a child. I never had many friends and i kept to myself. My father would lock himself up in "computer room" and not talk to me. Even though I was young I still remember it. My parents began to fight and my mother became a sad, lonely person. They told e they were getting a divroce. That was the only time I saw my father cry. I didn't know what had gone on between them but I think I blamed myself to some degree. I continued through school with only two friends that I hardly ever saw. I remember not talking much, if any at school only to come home to a mother that was always crying to get on the computer and chat with people online. Myabe that's where I learnt to be so dramatic to get attention, from the girls that said they wanted to die online. Whnever I saw my father it was very akward. I would play EverQuest all day or sit and watch TV when I was with him. On the bright said I got a little closer to my father. Still up to this point I had no clue why my parents had gotten divorced, I think I blamed my mother some because of the way my father talked about her. I don't remember much, I tried to block it out. From my cousin, Allison, I found out that my father had an affair. I was shocked, and I kept it inside for atleast a year that I know and ended up breaking down one night with my mother and told her. So only recently my mother told me why they got back together. My dad had pushed her away when his brother died, he told her he never loved her. But that really wasn't true. My mom and dad went to my councellor which I had been seeing for a few years and talked. My dad eventually said he loved my mom and not Holly. So they worked things out and here they are today. Before I knew this I figured they got back together because of me. ANd everytime my mom cired and they fought I thought it was going to happen again. I blamed their fights on me. In the meantime I had gotten to know Eirc who seemed to understand me. But he couldn't deal with my depression. He would ignore me when I was sad. I then met Nick over the internet and told him EVERYTHING about me. When we finally met I realized how me and Eric coudln't work. I was devistated. Eric had cut himself because of me and I started too, but I couldn't stop. I was an emotional wreck. I had lost all my other friends when I had dumped Eric. So i clung to nick, the only persn I had who knew me better than I knew myself. He was my other half. HE taught me all the things I had done wrong and got me to open up to the world. He taught me about myself. But I was too caught up in myself to noice his problems. HIs grades dropped and he began to feel unloved. To sho him how much I cared I was physical with him because I have always had a hard time expressing my emotion. He felt like I was using him and dumped me. All the time that we were dating I always worried he would cheat on me or leave me alone like my mother had been left alone. But in doing that I messed up our trust and sent the relationship to hell. He pushed me away just like my father pushed my mother away. It hurt like hell to have somebody do that to me. I was deivstaed, I had lost everything, AGAIN. SO I clung onto YOU, the only person I had left. I felt like you knew me but I wasn't ready to open up again, I didn't want to mess things up with you. But in doing that I pushed you away as well. The truth is I'm WEAK. I'm too emotional and I can never understand what is bothering me until it's too late. I hate being this weak and I hate being hurt by people. That's why I don't open up. I don't trust people. But by trying to protect myself I push everyone away. I'm sorry that I wasn't the best friend to you. But this is my attempt to fix the crap I've done by opening up. I don't know how many times I can open up to people, it takes a toll on me. I hate myself because of the way I am and I see my problems in my mother and I try to correct both of our mistakes in her. That's why I treat her like crap. We both are too submissive. And we always seem to piss people off. It's gotten to the point where I'm afraid to say things to you because I'm afraid I'll hurt your feelings or piss you off. I'm sorry I said all those mean things to you to push you away. In the end I'm just scared of being alone and depressed like I was when my parents were separated. I always look for people that udnerstand me. But when they understand me they tend to go away because of who/what I really am. I'm just scared that will happen with you but by being afraid I pushed you away as well. I'm sorry, Amie

Have any of women here gone out with a guy to find out later that he is A LOT like your father? Haha, I was kinda creeped out when I noticed this but it seems to be a comman thing. I just hope I can get over it because my dad is rather unemotional. But then again I tend to go for the dark, brooding, love me type of guys

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that! I had always had this feminist idea when it came to rape laws...but now that I read your post I can see where some of the laws aren't fair. All I can say is that depression can really mess up your head, I am clinically depressed and have had my share of "delusions" but none quiet so vivid. I hope you can find a person that will treat you right in the future.

I just don't know anymore...it seems like everybody has been telling me how weak I am and how I need to get over my problems because they're not as big as somebody else's. I just know I'm sad and I'm tired, I'm tired of trusting people and getting hurt. Sometimes I just think I'm happier alone, where nobody can hurt me.

It would bother me but I've always been the jealouse type. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain and they aren't for everybody. I think you should be asking yourself how much you trust this person and how much they deserve that trust. Everybody is afraid to get hurt emotionally. Try and talk it out with your signifigant other, communication always helps in any situation.

It's not wrong, if anything you should be proud of yourself. After everything he did to you to still want love from this person you must be very strong. I hope you're doing okay today and that things work out for you in the future. Keep your loving additude and you'll be fine.

I always found it rather humorous...but after awhile it's a casual thing to do, and I see guys do it constantly, some less obvious than others. The girl should understand, just don't reach right in and be really obvious about it

Hopefully your step-dad will realize what he's done...have you ever tried to tell him how you really feel? I never could tell my father my feelings...we always keep our emotions pent up inside. Just remember, not all parents deserve to be loved, and you did nothing wrong just wanting his love.

That's so sad. I know exactly how you feel. My father completely ignored me when I was a child...I felt that he didn't love me. I hope you and your father can work things out somehow. I know me and my dad did. Keep up the good work! -Amie

Yes you're exactly right! My ex told me to respect his decision but it was the only thing I couldn't do... He says I screwed everything up when I pushed so much. Haha but I don't know...I've never been very mature about break-ups.

Its hard to say...it really depends on who the person is. I know my ex never shows his emotions...I'm just hoping he does it to push me away because he confessed he really was truelly in love. If you had a deep caring relationship with this person I would suspect they do it for space...maybe they don't trust themselves not to come back to you? It's hard to say, but it helps to think positively about it.

I'm sorry to hear that. I've been going through the same thing, to the point of being called awful names by this person. But I keep coming back hoping to talk to them. It's gotten to the point where my self-esteem has taken a large blow and I'm afraid to even talk to this person. But sometimes, they seem like their old selves when I get really really upset....I think he does this just to push me away. It's hard, I know, I still am in love with the person he used to be. I made the mistake of pushing him too many times to talk, it's gotten to the point where he bluntly says he hates me. Just don't make the mistake I did, and hopefully with time your ex will change back into the person they were. Hang in there, Amie