aschoom

Lelou, I totally understand what you are going through right now because I am going through the same things. Its been some time since your last posting so I hope things have changed for you by now! If you have healed, please let me know & how. You are not alone. And remember all those years that you were "single" but not alone! My ex and I are trying to be friends right now and its very hard. We're trying to do things out of that "couple" mode but it HURTS so bad. People say not to get back together and see what the future holds. So, how do you if you are meant to get back together late down the road? Is that when you try again as two separate people as if you didn't have a relationship in the past? Who knows?

Its hard to tell from here on out.... Its usually time and circumstance that decides where the relationship goes... Seems like the relationship was getting too stressful emotionally for your girlfriend and the "love" she once felt for you has now been replaced by stress and anxiety...and she desperately wants to rid herself of those feelings. But, deep down under all of those negative feelings, I think is the feelings of love she holds for you. You just have to let her deal with her feelings and work on yourself in the meantime. If you are not ready to move on, then fix your problems, too. My ex and I went out for about 3 years, off and on, and the reason we broke up was because he needed to focus on school and his feelings of love for me were replaced with the stress and anxiety from school. I guess both you and I just have to let them make peace with themselves first before they will let anyone else in emotionally again. I feel your pain and I think talking and sharing helps a lot....

Oh, how I can relate! My ex and I have been off and on for the last two years at least. When his studies are good, the relationship is good...when his studies are bad, he breaks up with me to "focus" on school. We have taken many "breaks." I feel that if I were important to him, then he would have made compromises with me and not treat me like a game or a doll even that he can just put aside for the timebeing! Its not fair! Do anyone of you know about how people with ADD act in relationships? I don't understand how he can just throw away all of our memories and love...just because he's STRESSED! And this round, yes, its a round...he decided to end it via email!!!! I still find myself waiting around for his calls/text messages and get bummed when he doesn't! He still calls....but I don't understand.. I liked what codaaurora wrote: I need to learn to be OK and still be happy when I don't hear from someone for a while...he needs his time to finish school and grow up...and I need to find myself again... It hurts so much...and I miss the relationship....but how do I deal?? I have been trying to rediscover my self, the life I had before I met my ex....my goals, hobbies....and the fact that I didn't talk to someone everyday/night and was still happy...I gotta somehow get to that point again. Please send me happy thoughts...and inspiration...

I understand how you feel. I recently got an email from my boyfriend who said that he wanted to focus on his education and wanted to still be friends and hang out. Some guys just don't deal well with stress, I guess. But, I dunno how to deal. I know I shouldn't take him back since he's done this so many times before. And to now hear his friend say that he calls me "effing stupid." I guess I call him vulgar things when I am mad too. But why would he take me out for my birthday last week and for Valentine's Day if he didn't care? Why does he do that? Is this the stress of finals (which is coming up soon) or a sign for me to FINALLY move on? All I can say is don't stand in the way of what he wants...he will resent you if you do...

I know how you feel. I really do. My ex broke up with me (3 times) because he said that he needed to focus on school and would continue to hurt me if we stayed in the relationship because his priority wouldn't be me. It hurts so much that someone could be sweet and affectionate just one day before they break up with you...and they just want to be friends? Everything is temporary. Remember that. Whats meant to be will fall through. If he has issues he needs to fix, your forcing him to stay will only make things worse and push him away. Give him his space and allow this break to happen. In the meantime, focus on yourself and doing things that make YOU happy. Don't wait around for him because it will just make you think about the relationship all the time. Just take whatever comes your way....and learn from everything. I've been trying to meet new people (FRIENDS--not boyfriends) and do new activities that wouldn't remind me so much about what I don't have anymore. I have found that meeting new friends allows me to remember who I used to be when people ask about me and my interests. Its like rediscovering myself. Take care...sometimes breaks are good ways to put things in perspective..good luck!

I have been with my ex off and on for the last 6 months of our relationship. There were always conflicts of some sort but we were always happy doing and learning new things together. I even moved down to Socal for him. Then things started to get shaky when I graduated from college. I guess I wanted something more serious but that wasn't his mindset. He was still in school and wanted to use his "time" to do things away from our relationship like the frat, classes and volunteer stuff. Ironically, I am doing these things now for myself. I guess you need these things to grow. Everything seemed fine and then he broke it off--three times!! I am having the hardest time doing NC because I feel like I will lose my best friend but everytime I hang out with him and he's just so unaffectionate it hurts me so much. We still want to be friends. Like my position has been lowered! I don't know why I can't move on...or what will make me move on. We still have feelings for each other and he says that he can't focus on a relationship while in school but how I am supposed to deal with this? What's the difference between a break and a break-up? I need help or at least some sort of inspiration....am I really going to lose a lot if I say goodbye? He doesn't appreciate me, our memories and his ADD makes things worse... I dunno what to do....Please help!