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trulyDee

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Everything posted by trulyDee

  1. trulyDee
    I am 37, and oddly enough share in a lot of what you younger kids are feeling. The only difference is age. I've had a lousy rotten childhood...(we could share stories there, I'm sure) but my adult life isn't looking any better. I had several "good" years while I was married to my husband (who left me close to three years ago) I bought the house we lived in, I am working fulltime, and I am totally miserable with it all. I'm alone, and have no goals or direction. I want my OLD life back.
  2. trulyDee
    Gosh yes.....get yourself a new distraction! That ALWAYS works
  3. trulyDee
    I met someone, and we started dating...after 2 months of what I thought was a decent time with him, he broke it off after ONE bad evening. I have had NO contact with him since. Does anyone think there might be hope? I haven't gotten a call yet He was nice about the breakup, called and aplogized if he caused any hurt, and he admitted to not putting any effort into the relationship (which was what the underlying problem has been all along)...told me to take care of myself and if we see eachother at our normal hang-out, he'd hope we could smile and say "hi" it's been 4 days.
  4. trulyDee
    Conversations go something like this: "So, what are your hobbies?" I say: "Rollerblading" "How long do you blade for" I say: "Oh, an hour or two at a time" "You must get sore.....do you like full body massages? It's ALWAYS something like that. No matter WHAT the topic, they bring something sexual into it. UGH!!
  5. trulyDee
    It's sad really, doesn't matter who I talk to, or where I meet them, they ALL bring up sex wayyyyyy toooo soon. I've been told I radiate a sexual-arua type of thing. I certainly don't TRY to do that. What can I do to let a man know I am interested, but don't want to talk about sex for awhile? I mean, I'm not a prude....just know there are more important factors in a relationship that should be addressed FIRST....Like, "What's your name?" Pfffffffft!
  6. trulyDee
    I've been married 10 years, separated now for 2 1/2. I want to start dating, but it seems as though EVERY guy I talk with brings up something about SEX in under 20 minutes!!! I know sex can be an important thing, but GOD! Can't they wait until you've at least had a date or two before bringing up intimacy!!??? WHY DO MEN DO THIS??? There are more important things in life!!!! ps: The next man I date will be the one who didn't bring it up.
  7. trulyDee
    Ok, against everyone elses opinion, I disagree. I think the word "wrong" is inappropraite. Let's say the married person is separated, or otherwise detached from his wife. There are many many reasons men seek "love" elsewhere. DO NOT make a cure for lonliness seem so bad. Life is too short to be physically abandoned by a spouse. Humans need 3 things to live, water, food and shelter. 4 to live happily. affection.
  8. trulyDee
    Ever hear the phrase... "Walks like a duck, talks like a duck, must be a duck?" If you "suspect" something is wrong, it probably is.
  9. trulyDee
    Ok, I am 37, been separated for 2 1/2 years now from my husband and this friday is our 10th year anniversary. He lives in another state, and is coming home to visit this weekend. To celebrate or to ask for a divorce??? I love him with all my heart, but it's been too long. I want him to move back home, and he won't. His job is going well, as is mine. Seems like we were meant to split up, although there is no hard feelings, no anger, no fighting....never was. I don't want a divorce, that would mean I am alone, and a nobody. I'm not sure if he wants one or not. We don't communicate. My life is a constant limbo. I am financially supporting myself, as well as just bought the home we lived in (all by myself) But I feel tied to him always.... WHAT do I do??!!
  10. trulyDee
    I am a little older than most who come here to tell their stories and ask for support. I do understand why people do one thing and say another. Think of a breakup as a death. That is what most psycologists say, it's the death of a relationship, a part of your life, it's very hard to cope with. The hard part is that they are still "out there" and it is possible to see and speak to them, although, would it really do any good? It just prolongs the inevitable. So many in here talk about this "no contact rule" and although I disagree....I do believe that initially, there shouldn't be any contact. You need to realize and deal with what changes have been happening around you. You need to mourn, dry the tears, and then dust off and pick back up. Tell yourself you'll go 1 week without contacting her, then 2 weeks...then before you know it, you won't even want to. Trust me on this one. Been there, got the T-shirt and the hat.
  11. trulyDee
    I think the not-so-spontaneous men, and the not-so-exciting men...etc etc tend to fall by the wayside where women are concerned. We ALL want the bad boy. The safe, nice guy is no challenge. Sad, but true.
  12. trulyDee
    So, if I am an attractive, successful, thin blonde, with no children, baggage or debt....educated, yadda yadda.....why do I keep attracting losers? And by that I mean the unemployed, the medicated for emtional problems, the ones who live at home with mommy....HOW do I attract the same? Someone with qualities like myself?
  13. trulyDee
    I am very independent and sure of myself, and would have no trouble asking a man out, or telling him I find him attractive....do men appreciate that? Or dislike it?
  14. trulyDee
    I am separated 2 1/2 years now. Husband moved out of state. I am alone, and NOT liking the dating scene at all. I refuse to go to clubs, nothing but drunk losers, I work second shift, so that makes it hard too. I tried the gym...buncha meat heads. I am 37, 5ft tall, slim, blonde hair, green eyes (and I am intelligent)...no kids, I work a fulltime job, make decent money and I own my own house. Why can't I find someone kind of the same as myself? My last "date" was unemployed, and still lived at home with his mother. I don't think asking for someone employed, on their own...who also has their own teeth and most of their hair is setting my standards too high. Is it??!!
  15. trulyDee
    When you lose someone to a death, you CAN'T talk to them....a broken relationship is a death, I know it's hard to think of it that way, but 99% of the time, when you let time pass, and let things heal a bit, you can then talk to that person, and it doesn't hurt so much, although to whine, cry and show too much emotion to them now, is a complete turn off. Women hate men who are weak. I suggest talking to anyone and everyone BUT her for now, and when enough time has passed, and the mourning is over, the tears are dried up...then you'll have your chance, and with any luck, you won't want to talk to her at all. There is no perfect "one" for anyone....I've thought that so many times, and been proven wrong almost always. Lots of fishes in this sea. GO fishin!
  16. trulyDee
    How about the complete opposite? You get along famously...enough so that you married and lived happily for over 10 years, but just didn't love eachother. Not enough to stay together. It's horrible.
  17. trulyDee
    Plus it makes the man feel even worse then he does. Dont you know that divorce is like a death? Mourned and loss felt for years. Have some sympathy.
  18. trulyDee
    OMG you jealous friggin women. Grow up will ya? Marriage is supposed to be a LIFELONG bond. If you can't handle an ex spouse referring to the other by a pet name, you need a reality check. Being jealous doesnt do much for ANY relationship. You can't come between 2 people who once dedicated themselves to eachother. Married people (if not mortally wounded by eachother) usually stay close their whole lives, especially when kids are involved. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES! You'll lose if you fight that one.
  19. trulyDee
    These are normal feelings. Wanting to talk, although you know it only temporarily eases the pain. Getting angry, building the great wall of china up around yourself. I know, OH how I know. I have a great job, own my own house, and have everything to look forward to. Yet I am so bitter, I can't see past today. To me, there is no future. I just go from day to day, in a limbo. Go ahead and vent to me...call me an evil woman....whatever it takes....I know love still exsists, just not in MY heart.
  20. trulyDee
    How about "Hey, this might sound corny, but I find you attractive and would like to know if you are single?"
  21. trulyDee
    Oh god....what a horrible thing to happen to you...I too have had my fair share of these "internet-relationships"....These things almost NEVER work. I learned the hard way. I can't stress it enough, they never....Never....NEVER work. One out of one hundred? One out of two hundred?? Would you bet your savings account on that? Then why bank your happiness on it? DO let me know the outcome? Please!!??
  22. trulyDee
    Oh Adam...dear sweet Adam....I feel for you, being in the same type of situation....I too stay with the wrong men for the right reasons. Fear of being alone. It consumes us. We don't feel as though our lives have any meaning unless we are sharing it with someone. I have been living alone for over 1 1/2 years, first time in my life. In short: Left my parents home for a 10 year marriage, and then he left me and moved to another state. I am now a month away from closing on "our" home, (I have taken over the mortgage) I have a really good job, been with the company going on 5 years now...Like you, everything fell into place, yet I am miserable. Don't see what life is about anymore, hard to find a reason to get out of bed each day (other than for work) Let me know what you have tried for yourself, to obtain some type of happiness, by yourself.
  23. trulyDee
    Awwwww, I've been through much the same thing, recently even. My husband packed up a U-haul last week and took half our house away in it. Granted we have been living in different states for 2 years, but the finality of it all killed me. After I watched the U-haul pull away, I broke down. This was it. It was over. What do I do now? (screamed in my head) Take your time, plan for YOURSELF, indulge in yourself! Spoil yourself...you don't really HAVE to think about that other person anymore. It's all about you! I started remodeling instantly. Moved furniture around, took down pictures....it helps, it gives YOU a feeling of being the one in control! YOU make the decisions, the choices, YOU don't answer to anyone. Be your own woman. Of course you have to mourn the loss first, give yourself time, cry it out, get angry, then get up and DO something about it. And when you can't muster the strength....FAKE IT! It'll soon become real.
  24. trulyDee
    The grass is NEVER greener, just different.
  25. trulyDee
    God, I can feel your anguish, and I have no magical words of wisdom, only to say that time will heal. What to do until then?....First of all, indulge yourself, do any crazy thing you want to, this of course AFTER your mourning period. Take time to cry, and then dust off, pick up, and go see what's out there. From a delicate, sensitive woman's point of view....please....PLEASE (and I am near begging here) Don't keep the dog from her. I don't have kids, and my dog was the only child I had....that's a cruel thing to do to keep a pet from her. If it feels like a child, treat it as such, and do not use it as a pawn in this game of hurt. Dogs feel loss too...the dog needs and wants you both, it's not the dogs fault. God bless you all.
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