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JustPlainSad

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  1. The only way to SEE your abs and to get rid of your love handles, is in the kitchen.
  2. You called yourself the bad guy, not me. She may have done all of this to you but have you realized what you did to her? You were with her for 7 years before you asked her to marry you. That is an extremely long time for someone to be in a relationship, especially considering you would not talk about marriage. FLAT OUT she was wrong for cheating on you. That is horrible to do to someone know matter what happens. She is in the wrong for that. It is wrong for her to leave you with bills that you both shared and agreed to pay TOGETHER. Wrong on her part and I agree with you on that. The one glaring action you did was go through her bank account. You saw the need to make it known this girl has under $2 in her account. Who cares and what does that prove? Do you go around pointing at poor people on the street? It is a shallow act to point out her financial situation considering you illegally went into her account. How does that make you look?
  3. If it was all about HIM as you say Dave there should be no mention of how "bad" she is doing and how she is not "married" yet etc. The post should reveal NONE of her misfortunes or the issues she is face with now, if the post was truly about how far HE as come. There is too much of "Well I am doing this and have done this. Where as she has not done this and is currently going through this." He is comparing himself to her. If it was really about himself, he would just speak of what he is doing and what he has done to move on and make no mention of her current situation.
  4. I am actually pissed off at your post. You are borderline gloating at the misfortunes of your ex. Sure, we do not want our exes to be doing 100% "OK" after us, but to gain joy from seeing that she has under $2 in her bank account is pure wrong. This girl obviously has problems and you can see it. I gather from your words you are using her misfortunes and bad times to make yourself feel better. That is wrong, selfish, and immature. I cannot believe you would stoop so low that you checked her bank account illegally and then have the gal to gloat about how much she has. That is sad
  5. I am not involved with anyone now because.....I still have feelings for her. I would not want to hurt the other girl in ANY WAY. You may just be doing "other things" but feelings come into play MOST of the time when you give your body to someone else......
  6. Ummmmm why are you trying to resurrect something with your girl if you are currently seeing someone else? Someone is going to get hurt here.....
  7. Keep doing what you are doing and stay clear of him. You schooling is most important right now. You cannot afford to have emotions boil up during this semester. It behooves you to focus on school, keep your attention with your studies and if you feel the need to vent, come here.
  8. Being up front about your feelings is irrelevant. Everyone knows what you are after when you persue someone in a romantic manner. What makes it a game, is how you play around with attracting the persons attention and bringing them to you. You make them think of you, make them want more of you and you make them feel they will be better of with you. Like I said in my inital post, your intentions must be genuine or the relationship will be short lived. For the most part we are all good at heart and wish no harm on the other person, so these games I speak of are usually innocent, but they are games none the less.
  9. frizzle.....this is a direct quote from you "We completed each others thoughts and said and did the same things at the same times even, a connection I've never had with anyone before. How can I win her over?? She knows I have feelings for her without a doubt now, since I told her I'm not interested in "just friends" and want that real chance with her one day. I've not spoken with her since. Am I doing the right thing? Should I be her friend some day? What should I do!" Notice the bolded part. What were you saying about games not playing a role again????? If you truly think games play no role, you would not be asking what to do. All you would need is to, be youself and feel that should suffice enough to "...win her over." Obviously, this is not the case in your delima and you need to know how to "...win her over." Some may go so far as to call that a little game. Innocent, maybe, but a game none the less.....
  10. frizzle, look at my post again and ask yourself where I said mind games? Are you trying to tell me when you meet a person for the first time, there is no game what- so-ever going on? You have got to be kidding me. Are you trying to say when you meet the persons parents for the first time you're not trying to be extra cordial and make an amazing impression? When you want to get it on with that person for the first time do you come right out and say "Hey I want to have sex with you right now"? I'm sure you do not and try to seduce the person, for lack of a better term, and get the person in the mood. Of course there are genuine feelings involved. If none were present, we would not be in love. Look back at my post before you try and come at me and draw your own conclusions to what I wrote. There were NUMEROUS times I said feelings and intentions must be genuine or they become a temporary fix and end up dooming the relationship or the attempt at starting it back up again.
  11. Of course only true love will bring them back, but some can be tricked into it also. As I said in my post, that will not allow the relationship to last very long, as the other person usually sees right through it. Hopefully, it is recognized early on, to save the faker from completely destroying any chance he or she may be blessed with. The changes must be genuine and cannot be faked at any point. It is very easy to see through the curtain these faux changes hang and will only cause negatives in the long run.
  12. Life is a game, anyone that tells you otherwise is in denial. Everything, from a job interview to finding your soulmate, is a game. You first try to get your prospective soul mates attention. They way someone goes about it, is individual, and varies from gender to gender and age to age. You ponder the right move to make, the one that will grab the person and hold them closer, for at least a few seconds longer than you would ordinarly get. Then you have another plan layed out for the next move in this chess game. Sometimes, the right move is played, and other times they put you in check. Losing the love of your life is no different. Anybody who says "All I want her to be is happy." is either in denial, trying to save face and be the "good" person of have lost it completely. As always, there are exceptions to every rule as I am sure people truly do wish nothing but happiness for their former partner, that however, is very rare. They hurt us, left us, said mean things to us and ourn reply is "I want them to be happy." (picture someone with gigantic buck teeth and glasses bigger than his head saying that). For the most part, that is our subconscious taking over, swindling us into thinking that is the right move to make in the game of getting him or her back. People, me included, try to rectify what has transpired and begin to beg and plead to try and get our ex back, once again our subconscious takes over and tells us that is the right move to make, but we know how that usually turns out! Then we being to think that completely ignoring the person is the next right move, maybe they will beging to miss us and will realize the error in their decision. When someone makes that decision, indecision begins to set in immediately. We question it, wondering if we do this, will the likelyhood of them forgetting us be increased? Our mind is amazing, isnt it! To think we are only using 5% of it, well about 1% of it after a break up. After the realization that what we are doing is not going to bring them back, we begin to get part of our brains back. Common sense, family and friends help us along this path. We realize what we need to work on and we begin to do so. It should be done for ourselves, and ultimately is, but everyone knows they are doing it to help their chances of getting their ex back. Anybody that tells you different, is in denial and/or flat out lying to you. Plain and simple, we better ourselves for our ex but end up doing it for our own well being, if our intentions are true. If it is just a superficial change, the ex will see through it and run the other direction because they know you are just telling them what they want to hear and temporarily adjusting yourself to swindle them back to us. That never works for long. It may trick them into coming back for a little while but then you may be faced with the same heartbreak as you suffered before. To get your ex back, if there is a chance, the game must be played almost flawlessly. The only almsot certain move you need to make is better yourself with the purest intentions. It must be done with the intention of getting them back based on things they say we need to work on. The change must be true, and something we agree with. If we do not agree with what we need to work on the change becomes superficial and transparent, a sure way to send you ex running. You must also learn to become the person that originally won them over. The sly sexy man or woman that shatched their heart and held if for a moment. If you are not truly that person and your colors ultimately shined through, then much more work than normal is needed, and, which is usually the case, impossible to happen. No contact is not a guarantee. The reason for no contact is to help youeself heal and may not be necessary at all. Everybody says NC is the way to heal, and it should be only done for ourselves; who are we kidding? Our first intention with NC, it to make them miss us. This rarely works, and if anyone thinks this is the case, do not lie to yourself. Sending gifts, flowers, notes etc. soon after the break up usually has zero effect on winning the person over. As always there is an exception or two. It is a phantom attempt to blind our ex's into coming back to us. Most people are smart enough to soo through this. Do not become annoying to them, such as calling, emailing, writing letters et. too often. This will stroke anyones ego, and make them feel they do not need to come back. You will be giving them what a relationship entails without them being committed to you. Remember how you first we when you were trying to get them. You didnt profess your love for them on the first date, if you did you were either friends for a while before that or a complete loon! Take it slow and steady. Think of the goal you want, gettin gyour ex back, and use some of the method you originally used to get them. Obviously do not copy it to a T, but draw form your first experience and use it to you advantage. This howver will not work if all you did was tell the person what they wanted to hear. If that was the case you can look no further as that being the cause of you being single now. You may have told the person what they wanted to hear, but rest assure, you better believe in what you are saying for the duration for the relationship or it will come back to bite you. Thats, a guarantee! Become friendly with the opposite sex, if thats how you prefer to swing, soon after. Nothing strokes a persons ego better than a semi-attractive person showing the slightest amount of interest. It really works wonders, this will allow you to heal, see there are other people out there and if your ex happens to see you, rub them a little bit. A little jealousy never hurt anyone. These are not rules by any means, just observations I have seen because of my mistakes and the mistakes and successes of others. You do not need to follow any of them and they are definitly not right for everyone. Each situation is different, and should be approached in that way. Recall what worked originally, learn from the mistakes you made along the way, look back at what moved the person in profound wasy, negative and positive and draw from them. You need to become a better person, identifing our short coming while still being true to ourselves. The changes need to be genuine, as any superficiality is easily identifiable. Become the better person for yourself, and also, with the hopes of being this person, if your ex ever decides to give you another chance. It is not just about bettering ourselves. That is the ultimate benefit but the change needs to be made by the input we received from our ex, hence it is not only for ourselves. Remember, everything we are feeling is because of a chemical reaction. We feel hurt, sad and distraught because of certain chemical mixtures in our bodies. Look at what adjusts these chemical reactions and makes us feel better. Whatever does that, continue. Play a little game with yourself, trying to see how long you can sustain these fantastic feelings, then when you have another down day you can replicate the good feelings.
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