Jump to content

needafriend

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    171

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by needafriend

  1. needafriend

    mush.

    needafriend replied to teacup's topic in Dating Advice

    I am like you. I do all of these things too. Sometimes I feel like slapping myself so hard in the face, sometimes I just want to take control of my thoughts again, I want to put myself first for once. I give my bf a lot of space and do not come accross as clingy - but the fact that it is quite obvious to him that he is probably the most important thing in my life at the moment and I am always there when he wants to hang out, DOES make him take me for granted. And I hate it. I have no idea how to stop it. But I do know where it comes from with me - I have a fear of abandonment. This comes from my childhood and is rearing its ugly head in my adult life, affecting my relationship with him and those before him. I hang on for dear life because I don't want him to leave - not in a clingy way just to the point where he is like a god in my life - and thats not the way it should be. Don't get me wrong, I still go out with my friends and am busy a lot, but my spare time is always for him, he knows this and I think its a little boring for him. Is there anyway you could have a fear such as mine that is affecting your relationships in a simialr way?? xox
  2. needafriend
    1. Female 2. 22 3. Not with my current long term partner. Single - Absolutely. 4. Yes - The pill 5. No
  3. needafriend
    DN - Yes, he is quite an aggressive and angry person by nature. And believe it or not, I tend to bring out his soft side. His family is quite unaffectionate and he does not feel close to his parents. It seems I am making him out a monster, he really isn't. He does his best to take care of me and spends all his spare time with me. I just have become used to this behaviour, which is a problem in itself. Thank you for your advice someguy. I have of course considered leaving him, but it is so hard when you love someone. But you have helped me realise that his behaviour is far from normal. I can't believe I have actually grown to just put up with it! Can I help him at all?
  4. needafriend
    Hi all, I am a little confused and quite fed up by the way my BF has been treating me lately and I really need some advice on how to handle it. We have been seeing each other for nearly a year now and love each other dearly. We are very different to each other in our relationship. I am quite an affectionate person and tell him how great he is all the time and have never had a problem with expressing my feelings. He is the complete opposite, not very affectionate and finds it hard to express his feelings verbally and physically. Although I know he does love me, I know he finds it difficult to say, but does so for my benefit. He never has commented on things he likes about me, I have hardly received any compliments from him at all. Now my problem here is that he regularly says very mean and hurtful things to me - in a joking around way. I have spoken to him about this and he says that he cant help it and is very apologetic when he realises that he hurt me. For example he will call me, ugly, fat, in a "joking around way" and will criticise me for what i am wearing or how i am acting and how i wear my hair. I never feel like I am good enough for him and my confidence is fading fast. Would anybody know why he does this!?!?!? Could it me a defence mechanism because he has never been this close to anyone before? Is it because he doesnt respect me?? I just don't know what to do here... its starting to really eat away at me - i just want to make him happy. By the way... he isnt like this all the time, he can be incredibly sweet and I know he adores me. I just don't know if this is verbal abuse, if Im the problem or what... Please help! Has anyone been with someone like this before? How did you handle it? Thanks heaps...
  5. needafriend
    Im curious to know exactly what this was about. Does he not show you affection physically? He does not like to be affectionate?
  6. needafriend
    Hi Jetta, Im 21 and I live alone. These feelings are normal - plus the stresses of physically moving will no doubt equal to anxiety. Ive been there and trust me you will get through it. I actually quite enjoy my own space now except for the massive costs!!! Good luck... let me know if you have any questions... x
  7. needafriend
    I think its a very sweet and thoughtful idea to send a message of good luck. Keep it short and ask her to let you know how she goes. I don't believe she will take it out of context - just don't get your hopes up. Good luck!
  8. needafriend
    You shouldn't. The reason you keep going back to him is 1) you love him 2) he hurt you by rejecting you and your confidence is low A line from a movie comes to mind: Bridgett Jones' diary. When Colin Firth admits that he likes her - "Just as you are". Love is unconditional. Forget this loser. Set your own rules and say you will only get back together with him if: 1) He takes his hand off his *beep* and starts acting like a mature man 2) He was the last person on earth and there were no sheep Haha! Take care sweetie x
  9. needafriend
    Absolutely zero tolerence. I believe that people who cheat are just weak...
  10. needafriend
    No offence - but you will probably be the last thing on her mind. If she is travelling the world, just imagine the time she is having. Quite clearly you will always be in her heart. I think that you will hear back from her, just when she has time to think about the past - at the moment she is probably trying to forget about it. I applaud you for saying that you truly meant those words... its hard for some people to admit that. And she is lucky to have that, not everyone has the chance to be truly loved by another. I think you should take this time for yourself. She is too far away to think about. Eveything is out of your control. Continue to take steps to better yourself... what an ace job you are doing! You may meet somebody that will be better for you and wont leave you. But remember, so isnt gone forever... Take care
  11. needafriend
    Just trust him on that... You guys seem like you have it together - and by the sounds of it, an emotional connection that will keep you together regardless of talking everyday! Try to be as trusting as you can sweetie, otherwise he will resent you for it. My boyfriend is going away for a few days on a footy trip soon - and we all know what happens on those!!!! And you think you went crazy Might have to take some of my own advice
  12. needafriend
    So did you hear from him!?!?
  13. needafriend
    Thank you! I was afraid I was the only one that immediately thought PSYCHO! There was something about your post that made me get very frustrated and angry - your comment on religion, and the content of the letter - I assure you that your poor boyfriend will feel the same...
  14. needafriend
    You said you will not accept anything negative - I then doubt you will receive many comments... If you only want positive feedback, why not read it to yourself whilst looking in the mirror? What does my religion have to do with my thought process on this "letter"? And for the record I don't know how anyone would LIKE it...
  15. needafriend
    1) When I started to get crushes on other people - about 6 months later. Completely when I met someone else, a year later. 2) We talk from time to time, yes we are friends, but that is only possible because I am over him and in love with someone else
  16. needafriend
    Are you saying she hasnt had sex in two years?! Im extremely confused... Maybe state your question again... If she hasn't had sex, how could she possibly be pregnant?
  17. needafriend
    Ah... Yes... Tell her to get tested immediately. 2 weeks late is very unusual even for someone with irregular periods
  18. needafriend
    I am 21. I work full time - 8:30am - 5:30 Mon - Fri. I also work a 2nd job some nights and weekend so I can pay rent. I also study part time at university. Welcome to the real world?!?!? I hardly ever go out partying because of my schedule and I have bills to pay. I also like my sleep and try to get as much of it as I can. But somewhere in there I have to fit in quality time with my boy and if it means staying up late talking or watching DVD's its fine. I might feel tired the next day but the way I feel when I am with him is most definetley worth a bit of sleepiness. I sleep in on weekends - but if I don't get the routine 8 hours, who cares!!! Life is to short to worry about routines! You obviously don't care enough about this girl if you are not willing to sacrifice a couple of hours sleep here and there to go out for some fun - now you don't have to party till all hours, just go out for a couple of beers and get home early. Its not that hard. Spent the nights that you don't have to get up early the next day with her, take her out for dinner and see a movie - you can be in bed by 11!!! Or is that too late for you?!?!
  19. needafriend
    OMG. You sound like an old man. Sorry but you do. If my bf told me that he would rather sleep than spend time and have fun with me, I would laugh my bum off. "Oh I'm sorry hunny, am I cutting into your sleeping routine?!" Give me a break!!!! You are not 70!!! Geez dude.....
  20. needafriend
    I really feel for you. I am so sorry you have to go through this. NO-ONE deserves this type of treatment. Leave him. You can not say that you are staying with him for the kids - because he is physically abusing the kids. Pack your stuff, grab the kids and go and stay with a relative/friend until you can find much needed financial help and shelter. And last but not least... get a restraining order against this pig... I believe you have the emotional strength you need to do this. Even draw on the hate you have for him - to leave him with nothing... Do you have family close?
  21. needafriend
    Absolutely not!!!! He should foot the bill every now and then. I'm very old-fashioned in that way and think that my bf should foot the bill when we go eat - but not all the time. I always make sure I take him out for dinner at least once every few weeks, to his favourite places. I do this (and get him little gifts for no reason or his fave cookies ect) to show how much I appreciate him making sure I have a nice meal every now and then and taking me to chick movies that he hates!!! I always feel special whenever he puts effort in - no matter how small the gesture. I try to make it 50/50. In conclusion.... your bf should do the same. He has obviously gotten used to it and is taking it for granted... Tell him to get a job.
  22. needafriend
    Does he take care of you emotionally? Does he make you feel good about yourself? I bet there are plenty of girls out there that would trade the physical possesions for emotional re-assurance! Im not having a go at you here - my bf isn't big on the whole gift giving thing either! But sometimes he will bring me over my favourite ice cream just cos he know i love it - that is worth more to me than a fancy dinner anyday!!!!
  23. needafriend
    I have been through the same with my boyfriend lately and I think it comes down to this. Girls get turned on physically and also emotionally. If you are not feeling emotionally close to the man you love, it is going to b hard to really enjoy sexual relations. My bf has recently gone off foreplay as well - and he wonders why i don't finish anymore!!! If you are not turned on to start with, I don't see how anyone would finish!
  24. needafriend
    Where abouts in Aus are you? I live in Melbourne - Grand Final Fever BABY!!! Cheer up - it's a great weekend if you follow the footy xx
  25. needafriend
    If you do STRICT no contact... which means NOT returning any attempt he makes to contact you - of course he will miss you and wonder what you are doing, but if he will come back... who knows! It depends how set he is on his feelings for you. If his feelings for you have died a natural life... its very doubtful they will come back. That just my personal opinion, that I have gotten from my experiences... xx good luck with healing and moving on, which is the most important thing.
×
×
  • Create New...