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needafriend

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  1. needafriend
  2. needafriend
    Almost 3 months since I started the NC challenge. Have heard from him. A few emails.. a few phone calls and texts.. some with apologies some: "Just wanting to see how I am". Some I have responded to, some I have ignored. For no particular reason... I guess I'm just numb to it all now. If it wasn't for that gut wrenching feeling of panic when his name flashes up on my cell, I would say I'm over it! It's just always at the time I least expect it and it catches me completely off guard. Because I don't expect to hear from him... nor particularly want to! I have no expectations. I'm sure he is happy with his girlfriend. But he is most definetely experiencing regret and guilt for treating me the way he did.....
  3. needafriend
    You hurt me so so much. You threw me away like a piece of garbage... after I put so much effort into keeping YOU happy and keeping US alive. Now you have a girlfriend... what makes her so special? Why wasn't I good enough?? I bet you treat her a million times better than you ever treated me. That makes me sad cos I deserve so much better. I can't believe you could just ignore me... you really broke my heart. Because of you, I don't think I will be able to trust or open my heart up to anyone for a very long time. This makes me angry because I might miss out on someone truly wonderful because of the damage you caused.... the fact that I clearly meant nothing to you make it even worse. I can honestly say I never want to see your face again. I hope you get what you deserve. Remember mate, what goes around, comes around.
  4. needafriend
    Sucks don't it!
  5. needafriend
    Day 30. Mixed feelings. I have no interest in contacting him... but I think a small part of me still wants him to contact me. Because there was no real ending to our relationship, I feel a bit numb.. I think I'm still in shock! I'm happy I don't have to travel 50 mins down that long lonely freeway to see him. I'm happy I'm not around for him to take me for granted and treat me like ****. I do miss him. I miss the laughs and that gorgeous smile. I'm jealous someone else gets to wake up wrapped in has strong arms. I'm jealous she gets to giggle with him all morning until severe hunger finally draws them out of bed. I don't miss feeling not good enough. I don't miss feeling unwanted and never knowing where I stand. I don't miss watching him eye ball other women in front of me and basically throwing himself at them. I don't miss that fact he didn't really care about me at all... while all I could do was watch on.. so helplessly in love with him. There is basically 0% chance I will ever run into him. So this is it. It's finally over. Done. 'Bye baby'
  6. needafriend
    Day 26! Today is a good day. Wow, it went faster than I thought. Although I've had some excruciating moments... it's been a lot easier than I thought it would be. After this weekend which is of course - filled with fun plans with friends and family (and a date!) - I will have made it to 30 days! I hate him. He's dead to me. It may sound harsh, but its the only thing keeping a spring in my step! Coolchick - Keep your head up babe!! If a guy thinks they can "replace" ladies as foxxy and fabulous as us.. they are stupid... and we don't date unintelligent men do we!?!? xx
  7. needafriend
    Thanks Coolchick and Jonathan. What hurts even more is the way it ended. He basically stopped returning my calls and texts... and THATS IT! After 8 months together. NOTHING. And now I have to see that basically a week later.. he is referring to his new conquest as his "fave girl". I have walked away and am trying to move on... but I think the lack of acknowledgment is what hurts the most. And no Jonathon - I AM the official thread killer on ENA. I swear it happens all the time!! Haha And to both of you -- I think the hatred for your ex is a good thing as this time. The blind angry HATE I have for him is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day.
  8. needafriend
    Day 23 -- It's obvious through Facebook that he is dating someone new. She is not very attractive... but obviously he sees something in her... and she must be better than me because he never offered me committment. I knew this would happen. I was just a fall back girl. It hurts. So much. I deleted him and all of our mutual friends on Facebook. Doubt he will even notice. I'm crying in the mornings. Every. damn. morning. Please someone tell me it gets better????
  9. needafriend
    Day 17. No attempts at contact from him. Shows he never really cared. Brilliant.
  10. needafriend
    Day 7?? I think! Woke up in a pool of sweat two mornings ago - I had dreamt of him. In the dream I was clinging tightly to him after realising that him and one of my best friends were making eyes at each other accross the room. I was trying to talk to him and he was simply staring at her the whole time. Eventually they said "we have a special something". I threw a major tantrum, desperatley clinging onto him saying "I love you" over and over. Then I watched them walk about together. Not a great start to that day! He commented on one of my FB pics yesterday. What a douche bag. I feel like untagging him in all of my pics, cos I know how much he loves them... I'm trying to ignore the pain. But it's simply unbearable. And on and on I go........
  11. needafriend
    Day 3 -- Bad start to the day. Woke up and cried for 30 mins. Typical morning blues. It was so hard to drag myself out of bed and go to work. Busy weekend planned. Hopefully it will keep my mind off him... An old fling that I was infatuated with called last night to ask me out for dinner. Usually I would feel extremely happy about this. Instead... I feel.... Numb. Why am I still waiting to hear from him?? Stupid woman ](*,)
  12. needafriend
    Day 2 -- trying to go cold turkey. No Facebook profile checking! Before I started no contact I noticed he has been chatting up some ladies. Wanna know what's going on. Good luck to him I guess. Hope he's happy. Hmmm do I? Can't stop thinking about him. From the moment I open my eyes in the morning...... it's him... allllll day. It's so frustrating. Mind over matter... as they say
  13. needafriend
    Day 1 again. Whoops. Texted him last night as I heard about a death in the family. He would be devastated. Ah. I knew it was wrong (for my healing) but right (for my soul). Didn't get a reply, didn't want one. Don't care about that... But I start again.
  14. needafriend
    Me too! Good luck! Day 4: Trying to stop waiting (or caring) for him to contact me. Deep down I know it's not gonna happen... which hurts. But I feel my attraction/idolizing to him dying more and more each day.
  15. needafriend
    Wow - thanks for your helpful advice. I would seriously love to start up my own event management business, but have aimed to finish my degree first. I understand how hard it is to get ahead in this world. Cost of living is constantly rising and the salaries are staying the same... ugh... I just feel that I am at a cross roads and need to step foot in the right direction. Take care of myself. I'm just scared.
  16. needafriend
    No - I doubt very much that you could get pregnant from that. But I would do a test for piece of mind, if I were you. First thing in the morning...
  17. needafriend
    Hi all, I haven't been around here for a while, but I am so confused about my current situation, I felt I needed some quick advice. Currently I am working full-time as an office manager. The work is fine, nothing great, but I feel comfortable doing my work. The people in the office are ok, a few conflicts, but you gotta expect that with office politics. I am also studying my degree part-time by correspondence. I live in an apartment on my own. I am 22. I feel like I am stuck in a rut and am not sure how to get out! The money I am earning at the office is hardly enough to cover my expenses. Believe me, I have tried every type of budget you can think of and I just feel like I am constantly moving backwards... getting into credit card debt, debt with my family and my partner and generally getting totally bogged down. It is causing me to become totally depressed, because I am constantly struggling and I can never go out with friends for drinks on the weekend or anything! And I'm sure you all know that, all work and no play makes people turn mental!! It also turns out that I cannot afford my school books this semester which will probably result in me failing the subjects. I just don't know what to do... ask my boss for a pay rise, quit my job and find a better paying one or start waitressing at nights again?!?!? (which I had to stop doing because I was burning myself out!) Is anyone stuck in a similar rut??? Any advice on how to go about changing my situation?? I am committed to changing things... I have already organised to move in with a friend so that my expenses come down.... but this feels like it is becoming an emergency... before I begin the downward spiral into depression. Help!
  18. needafriend
    Well my weekend is gone and I'm back at work and I hate it. I can't do this job. When they hired me over a year ago, I was actually taking over 2 full-time jobs, because the company was downsizing. This was a massive mistake. I think I have just been kidding myself to think that it is actually possible. I cannot keep my boss happy, he hates me. I forget to do things because I have a million other things I'm working through and I get frowned upon because I'm SO disorganised. I literally have no motivation to do this! The money is crap and I am always scrambling around trying to make ends meet. I'm still trying to complete my degree through correspondence. I was forced to give up my second job waitressing (which actually pays better than this job) because I was just, SO tired. Doing three things at once isn't good for your health. All work and no play makes for a very grumpy and stressed out little girly. I am at a loss on what to do. I am always under so much pressure and I really do try. I try and be organised and do a billion things at once, I try and catch up on the loads and loads of filing that always gets overlooked. I try to breathe deeply and smile. I try to be professional and not take things personally, but how is that possible when your boss is as nice as pie to everyone else and cold and nasty to me? I get so anxious and stressed out just THINKING about coming to work, that I can't sleep at night. It effects my relationship with my boyfriend, because I get so grumpy and tired and just completely emotionally drained. I'm guessing this can't be healthy? I'm so scared to quit because I live alone. I need to pay a ridiculous amount of rent to live in a shoebox. I need to keep paying off my car, my loans, bills and not to mention my university fees which which are climbing to nearly $30, 000. I have to stay at home on Saturday nights while my friends go out and party because I couldn't possibly spare a cent on having fun. Certainly this can't be normal for a 23 year old? Any suggestions on how to overcome this?!?
  19. needafriend
    I'm in a new relationship now but my ex ended it with me because he did'nt love me anymore + he cheated on me with his ex, got her pregnant and proposed. Ha! I'm so glad I'm over that!
  20. needafriend
    Not formally. He has said to me a number of times that he thinks I might be "the one" and that I'm the "type" of girl he sees himself marrying, we have joked about having kids toogether ect but he has made it quite clear that he doesnt want to start thinking about those things until he is 27-30. He has also made it clear that he wants to travel next year and doesn't include me in those plans. I on the other hand, don't care so much about age. I wouldn't want to lose my "one" - and if that meant settling down a little early it wouldn't matter. I'd take them overseas with me!!!!! I'm not ready for marriage and children - but I am ready to take our relationship to the next step. Just writing this all down makes me realise that our level of maturity in regard to relationships are very different. And I'm also seeing that he his scared. And that hurts.
  21. needafriend
    Hi guys, Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. Tigris - he already stays a lot. He has stayed all of this week! He likes it at my place, he just doesn't want to commit to being "defacto" (and he cringes saying the word), claiming that we are too young. I think Lilac is right that that first step out of the nest is a hard one to take for some people and if he thinks moving in with 3 of his drunken mates is going to make that better.... I don't know... I guess he is still in party mode and doesnt want to feel like he is "settling down" to be all husband and wifey. I'm just haunted by the saying "When you know, you just know".... I seem to have that feeling and he doesn't. Rae - Its not about feeling secure emotionally... its physically. I feel safe when he is sleeping next to me... I don't get scared of noises, I even forget to lock the door sometimes!!! But when he isn't I feel so vunerable. Some of the apartments in my building have been broken into and its not the safest neighbourhood in the world! So thats what I mean by safe. RC - I think I will follow your suggestion and just wait and see and not pressure him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a ring on my finger here... but I'm guessing thats what he is afraid of?!?!?!
  22. needafriend
    Hi all, Just wondering if anyone has thoughts on when is too young for a couple to move in together? Are there any rules to follow to ensure both parties are ready? I ask because me and my boyfriend have been together for a year. We love each other dearly. I live alone and he still lives with his parents. He spends a lot of time at my place and I love having him there. It makes me feel safe and secure - I feel completely the opposite when he isnt there. Unsafe and scared. He has suggested moving out of his parents but wants to move out with friends. He believes we are too young to become THAT serious. We are both 22. I understand this is a big step and I will not pressure him. I am just feeling anxious that it doesn't feel right for him and it does for me. Does this mean hes not serious about me? Any suggestions on how to deal with my feelings?
  23. needafriend
    I had a very painful break up a week before xmas a few years ago. I was completely heartbroken. Indeed, I was not in the festive mood and felt very lonely - but it did teach me something. I was feeling very low and sooky - but still struggled through the day and enjoyed time with my family - because THIS is the most important thing around the holidays. Family. Not some guy that broke your heart and left you. It turned out that the particular xmas I am talking about was the last one we had with my grand father who passed away 3 months later. Please make the most of it and try to put your feelings aside for this special time, because you don't know what will happen before next xmas. Good luck xxx
  24. needafriend
    Please tell me you are going to dump this guy???
  25. needafriend
    Oh my god. You poor thing...I am disgusted. What did you do???
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