Jump to content

Jonathan_in_fl1607306450

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    35

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Jonathan_in_fl1607306450

  1. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    I went throught the exact same thing. Unfortunately without a happy ending. I chased and chased and wooed and romanced but in the end she still left. It makes it so much harder to accept when you pour you heart and soul into it and than they still say no. As hard as it is the best thing you can do is say, " I am still very much in love with you and I will always be here if you need me or want to talk about anything." Than giver her 2 weeks space with NO CONTACT. If she sais she wants to call tell her you will contact her when YOU are ready. Make her think she is really losing something. If she dosent than she knows she can toy with you all she wants. If you chase than she will retreat. Unfortunately htere is not a whole lot you can do to show her that you love her at this point. 5 years she knows everything she has to know - and maybe she will come around. I made the mistake of changing my every behavior to keep the girl I loved but trust me you will grow resentful for having to keep up a constant perfect image. Plus you still catch shit. I know exactly how hard this is - trust me I have lost 22 pounds and I only weighed 175. If it is over than I am truly sorry, but you must brace yourself for that possibility. It is impossible to accept I know but true none the less. It will get alot worse before it gets better. Xanax really helps and I do not ever touch drugs. Do a search for this topic and read what he had to write, i found it very helpfull. Possible reason for not waiting for your EX I feel for you and if you want to drop a line my email is email removed
  2. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    To save everyone alot of time I will cut to the chase. (if anyone is interested I posted in March-ish? That will recap. I just ended a relationship with the girl who was the girl of my dreams. This is a woman I have had an interest in for 4 years. I never new her, just admired her from afar. When we met ( a year ago ths weekend it was nothing short of magic) We both fell hard and fast. The memories of our first 7 months together are the happiest of my life - truly. It all fell apart when she started to have feelings for her ex. I did not understand the implications of this and decided to work through this with her. Over the next 6 months she flip flopped between me and him, well she would spend 1 day with him as a friend and realize that she loved me. I reached the point where I couldn't trust her - I felt such pain. For some reason though I worked harder to keep the relationship alive, and I mean I gave 1000000% To the point where I put my life on hold to please her and make sure she was happy. I have lost 22 pounds (and I wasnt overweight at all before I was 175-ish) and feel as if it is the end of the world. She has alot of aquaintainces, everyone loves her, she is always invited on trips, and I am left devastated, how do I get beyond this girl. I considered her the love of my life before I even met her, and it is so hard to let go. Because letting go means letting go of the source of the happiest times of my life, I truly planned on marying htis woman, and at a time she felt the same. Now everyone tells me that this is what she does to every guy she dates. Her poor ex has been pining away for 2 years because she keeps tagging him along. I do not want to end up like him. Please somebody say something. I held it together for about 5 days after the breakup, than Saturday I broke down and have been an emotional wreck ever since. What can I do? It seems so unfair that I have sacrificed so much and it is unappreciated, now she is out with tons of people and I am left alone devastated. Help me heal this pain?
  3. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    The difference is love is harder. Love takes time to grow. It changes the very person you are. Love is probably the most powerful emotion, aside from fear. I agree with the above and the statement about happiness. As hard as it was for me I let my ex go in pursuit of happiness because I love her not because I just think about her.
  4. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    A lesson I learned the hard way. Do not stay in a relationship for someone else. If you do not want to be with her that sit her down and ask her how she feels about the relationship. Than say that you feel like you are not on the same page as her and it is time to let her go. Do not be mean about it but state clearly how you feel. Good luck!
  5. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Everyone wants a return on investment. But trust me I am speaking from experience, girls like that have nothing to return that you want. Sometimes you have to look at things as a sunken cost. Trust me. And when respectable girls see you laughing at a skank it opens doors to them that would not be there otherwise. Girls respect men who respect themselves. The sooner you learn that the better off you will be. Plus you got the time factor, why waiste any more time on something that is not worth it. If you want to *** her thatn dont call her. It will make her know that her games don't work and you are better thatn that. Than she will give in. But I wouldnt. Not worth it man. Every other girl that knows what she had and knows about you two sleeping together will black list you permanantly.
  6. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Absolutely tell him. You must have an idea if he is interested. You do not have to come out and say it. Just say that you want to talk about you two. And ask him how he feels about you. You will get a pretty good idea right off the bat and than just come out and say it! Good luck.
  7. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TALK TO HIS GIRL AGAIN!!! yOU WILL GET A DISEASE!!!!!! I GURANTEE IT!!!! JUST WALK AWAY, AS HARD AS IT IS WALK AWAY, AND FEEL LUCKY YOU DID.!!!!
  8. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Speaking from a guys point of view. You should leave him. He has a history of cheating. You are in college, I am 26 and out of college and the times get better, trust me. Remember the most important decision you ever make is the guy you marry. My girlfriend is a bit confused about what she wants right now. I know that I love her. There is NO POSSIBLE WAY that I could ever cheat period! If he loves you as much as you love him than you have to see it as a character flaw that he is capable of this. Have you guys ever spent months at a time together? The long distance thing can be misleading, there is a good chance that you might not like this guy if you got to know him. Let him go, even if it is to break his heart like he did you, and make him never ever cheat on another girl again. Good Luck!
  9. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    The most important thing you can do right now, and I mean it, is to keep her on her toes. Don't slip into the same situation you were in before ( dont know what happened) but you dont want her to say why am i back with him? it's the same stuff. You should cook her breakfast, be a gentleman and open all her doors, stuff like that. And most importantly DO NOT be there for her 100% right now. Be there but just be unavailable occasionally. Tell her how you truly feel (love) but let her know that you got your own life and you are not a guarentee to her, not in words but in actions. The last thing you want is for her to think she has you wrapped up. Girls have a way of sucking you in and when you are there they get standoffish. It has worked wonders for me. My girl left me, she thought I would wait forever but when she realized i wouldnt she came around. It is a haed game of sorts but a very necessary one, if you want to keep her. Try to remember what she complained about in the first place and fix all of those in you life i.e. messy, etc... easy to do. And for god's sake take out the trash for her, just do it!
  10. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Well, it sounds almost like my story. I too undrstand the seflessness, and complete giving and self change to please someone else, it dosen't seem to matter to them though huh? They dont know that you are the only thought on your mind at all times. I lived my life in complete fear of my ex, wondering what every comment really meant. You should dig up my old postings from march or so. Titled True love in my eyes and worth fighting for you judge. or search for my post name Jonathan_in_fl. There is nothing I can tell you to help you, but what helped me is looking at other similar situations and seeing what they should do. Good Luck.
  11. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Well I promise to keep everyone updated. Heck I 'll fly ya down for the wedding!!! Well we'll see.... Good luck and keep the faith everyone. Miracles do happen.
  12. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    if you want him back you gotta make him think that you dont care. So dont contact him. the rationale: You are dying inside right now because you dont think he cares. If he was heartbroken over you right now and you knew it you would feel alot better. Wel that is what he thinks of you right now. You gotta make him think he has lost you....its tough i know but works. Good luck
  13. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Well to anyone that has been following my story I want to say that happy endings do happen. We talked for three hours in person finally. Strangely enough we went out and were sitting in the two same chairs that we originally met in. It was emotional for both of us. I had the perfect mix of emotion and staindin firm of what my boundaries and demands were. She somewhat tested them and I tok a chance but she folded and saw that I was serious. I told her that she needs to show me and to make a long story short prove that she wants me. She was holding and rubbing my hand. After I told her that, she said that she might not be able to do that and she needs to think about herself. (An obvious attempt to gain post position in the relationship again.) I took my hand away and looked away for about a minute. She finally gave in and grabbed my hand and realized how serious I was. We finally kissed and said our goodbyes for the night. She asked if she should call me later tonight and I told her
  14. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    In a nutshell my girlfriend and i were dating for 8 months. She is the love of my life. The last 3 months she has been having thoughts for her on again of again ex. She didnot want him but could not shake the feeling. Finally it affected our relationship to the point where she left me to explore her feelings and spent 1 day with him. She immidiately realized it was a mistake and came running back. Is this forgiveable? She left me so carelessly and in such a bad way that I have doubts about her character. Is this recoverable. I dont want to leave her if I can get over it. Is this normal for girls to feel conflicted like this. Or am I just setting myself for heartbreak again?
  15. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Well you seem to have followed my story the most. She came back to me. I promised myself that I would not make it easy. I took her back somewhat but I didnot make it as hard on her as I shoud have. I gotta say the heartbreak is gone but now I find myself wondering if I even want her. There is so much broken trust. I know that people work through these things however. My issue is that 2 days ago I was the last thing on her mind. She was off with her ex because she believed she had feelings for him. She spent one day with him and realized that there were none and came right back to me. There was no intimacy whatsoever and she realized that it was not him but the group of friends that she missed. How should I feel about this. Is she no good? I gotta wonder if she had feelings for him than I would not be a thought in her mind right now. The fact that she put me through this ordeal...well..I just dont know what to think. I need advise from anyone who has gone through something like this. Thank you.
  16. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    you have to see that you are going about this all wrong though. Your on your second kid with your second guy. Before you know it it will be you third kid with you third guy and all alone.....just be carefull
  17. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Look buddy. It sounds like your relationship is the least of your problems. I dont doubt that you have feelings for this girl but you were kissing other girls? If you love this girl that wouldnt be an option. It sounds like you treat her awful. Clean up your personal life, stop abusing yourself and her, get some help, spiritual, emotional, and physical. Read self help books, go to rehab. If you love her and want any chance at happiness with her than this will only be thge beginning of what you need to do. If that sounds like too much than you dont really love her.... you just miss her, and you gotta deal with it. If you truly care about her happiness than you need to clean up your act buddy. Sorry if I sound harsh but thats it in a nutshell.
  18. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Ok so today I wrote an email to her boss. He said just forget about her she is not worth it. But than he calls me an hour later. Aparrently she spilled her guts to him. She feels that she made the biggest mistake and she wrote me an email which I will enclose. What I want to know is how to procede from here, or do I at all? I can she is trying to explain herself but I dont see the emotionalism in it that I need. Here it is...... Jonathan, I'm writing you right now because I feel that I need to explain myself. It's apparent that this town is small and I don't want rumors started about me that simply aren't true. I don't want you thinking that I'm capable of what you're probably thinking about me at this moment. I know that you saw my car at Joe's house on Saturday morning. This is what happened: My friend Phyllis invited me to her brother's birthday party on Friday night. Yes, I knew that Joe would be there and I figured that it could give me a chance to be around him and see how I feel..maybe answer some of my own questions. At the party, I drank too much, way too much. I hadn't eaten all day and misjudged how much I drank. I got sick at the party, very sick. Phyllis dates Joe's roommate , as you probably already know. They didn't know what to do with me and didn't want to just leave me at my house, so she took me to Joe's house where she sat with me while I threw up most of the night. I fell asleep on the couch and as soon as I woke up in the morning, I left and went home to a shower of phone calls from Shannon and Erin saying that you drove by Joe's house and saw my car. I am so sorry that you thought the worst. I would too. I feel terrible that you think there was something else going on. If there were something else going on, I would just put my tail between my legs and cut my losses. I wouldn't care this much. I won't lie and say that I haven't spoke to Joe or seen him, because I have. I can assure you that nothing romantic has or will happen. I'm not going to just run from one relationship to another. Yes, I've done it in the past, but when I met you, things were different. Last night I cried myself to sleep thinking that I'll never find chemistry with anyone the way I had with you. It's not something I felt upon seeing Joe. I needed to know that. I promised myself that I would take time. I promised you, too. I guess I just didn't make the best of decisions on what to do with that time. I don't expect you to forgive me or even believe me. I just can't live with myself knowing that you think something that just isn't so. If you've gotten this far in the email, thank you for hearing me out. If you want to talk, I'm here. Love, Michelle
  19. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    thats like asking how do I ride a bike. Youll be fine. Just go slow.
  20. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Well guys I am drunk. No I am Schlauttercocked!!!! Iwent out tonight and had a great time. I went out by myself which was hard. But I met three new friends who seem pretty nice. Also a girl grabbe dmy ass. I made out with another, I was told that I look like brad Pitt, and I met a smokin hot spring breaker that it took me all night to pinpoint but she resembles natalie portman, ( well after a few drinks). Also another gil tapped me on the shoulder and told me that her friend thought I was hot. This is great because one of the bartenders can really spread the word and it will get back to my ex. man am I spining right now. I feel strong but I am still messed up inside. It did help to know that I still have it though. Because my self confidence was shot. Now I feel better. Only because of the alcohol though.
  21. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    Thank you for the kind words. I went to the gym and I feel a little better. I think that exercise is a good time for soul searching and rebuilding. It is such a release. I had the awful task of notifying my parents as they were very fond of her. Even though I feel better today (well I am not in a fetal position waiting to die) I know that I am still far from acceptance. Part of me wants her back so badly but I realise that really isnt a good option. BTW my origonal posting is under the title, "True love in my eyes! and worth fighting for?you judge." Alot of people have given me alot of support and I think that it helps. Any words are good to hear. It is great that people are listening and truly do care.
  22. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    the girl who broke my heart was 5'1" tall. I prefer short girls as do most of my friends. Trust me when you get older that is going to be a great characteristic that makes you different and more attractive than alot of normal sized plane janes out there. I am 26 and look about 20-21 but I see it as an advantage. I used to think like you but in time you will see that it is a gift.
  23. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    If you dont mind me asking how old you are? I am gathering you are young or a teenager. Look I am 26 and right now I am in complete misery over losing my true love. But I can still sit here and tell you that you have sooo much to look frward to in life. High school, college is the best 4 years of your life. It sounds like you are taking the weight of the world on your shoulders. It is OK to break down in front of your parents and tell them what you are going through. I know you dont think it but they will understand and be supportive. It will help to ease some presure off of you. Remember I just lost my one true love, but suicide is never an option even though life dosent seem worth living right now. If someone else is the cause of you greif than it needs to be dealt with immediately, either by family or police. You have the right to be happy and do not let anyone put you down. One thing I wish I would have learned when I was much younger was to stick up for myself, it would have changed alot about who I am now. Take my advice and go with it, it is your only choice really.
  24. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    that was me that is going through the same thing. I finally got about 6 hours of sleep. Twice as much as I havgotten over the past 3 days. I am going to try to eat a peeled apple. I was dreaming about eating one and is the only thing that I might be able to stomah after not eating for 3 days. This has been the longest weekend of my life. I am just so shocked that her truck was at his house early in the morning. I have to realize that I did not lose anything here. What I thought I had, was an illusion. And that I am gaining something.....what I dont know. I know for a fact that she will try coming back to me in 1 week, or month, or year. It is part of her pattern so say her old -not current friends. And everyone was hoping I would be the person who broke the patern. She told me more than once that I was the love of her life....how could it have come to this. and how could she go back to an abusive ex?????? I truly planned on spending the rest of my life with her. Now I am homeless because I moved in with her. I have to completely rebuild my life again -including friends, home, everything. I hope I can be strong enough to not take her back when she calls.... ohwhat oh what ohwhat can ido? and where and how do I start rebuilding?????
  25. Jonathan_in_fl1607306450
    I wil try not to bore you with the details ...if you are interested you can read my postings from earlier this week. I am trying to move past the breakup with the love of my life. I am wondering how we could go from living together one day to back to her ex the next day. I think I need to rationalize this before I can start to heal. How can women do this?? I couldnt hurt someone like that. At least I would have the respect to wait a week or two.
×
×
  • Create New...