Jonathan_in_fl1607306450

thats usually a bad sign. and I speak from extremely recent experience. If your gut tells ou something is wrong than listen to it. No matter what your heart tells you. It will be less devastating for you if you break it off. Rather than have her leave you and be with someone else the next day.

I read your posting with great interest. It seems that I am going throught the exact same thing. Exact. SHe just left me for her semi abusive ex, but she knows they will not last. I am devastated as it has been today however everyone knows and says she will regret it and cme back. She has with other people aparently. Sorry to intrude on your topic but I am wondering how you coped with the origonal loss and any advice you have to come to terms with it will be mostly appreciated. If you felt at all what I feel now than you understand.

I am so sorry to say this but it is usually a sign that he is not happy with himself or the relationship. It usually dosent have to do with sex and you.

well if anyone has been following my posts from earlier......i lost her. I am absolutely devastated....

Well guys so much has happened. Her boss who is a huge supportrt of me filled me in on the office gossip. It is good to know that there are people out there that care and can emathize. I realize now what I probable knew all along. I cant force the situation. If she loves me than she will realize what she has done and come back. If not than it was all an illusion. I am mostly upset with myself for getting into this situation. I never realized that females could be so manipulative and shallow. The reason for my change of heart: I did write her that letter and told her all I could so she could make a sound decision. Thats all I could do. She lives about a mile from me so this morning I drove by (against my better judgement) but I needed closure. My rationale was that if I see it with my own eyes than it will help me to let go. She wasn't there. This was at 7 this mornng. I knew that it was either that she went to her moms in Lauderdale or is with him. Well I couldnt go to lauderdale (other coast of Florida.) so I decided to find where he lives. I knew the community he lived in and took a stroll........Her car was there clear as day. Now gentlemen I only recommend this method of closure if you are strong enough for the reality that will consume you when you see something like this. It was devastating for about an hour. But now I strangely feel at peace a little. In other words I would rather feel like this than I would be otherwise if I didn't know the truth. My heart is still broken but at least I can move on from here. I am only sad that it is without her. Please give me your thoughts on this because this might me my biggest time of need. Thank you to everyone who supported.

well I really empathise for you. I understand the pain you feel and to prove it I know you are thinking that there is no way I feel as bad as you. Well know that I think the same thing. She is probably saying these things to soften the blow of it. She may come around. She may not. I, like you just have to wait and see...

well i have determined all i can do is write her an email which I did.if anyone is interested in the contents let me know and I will make them public for all. I just have to wait and see what happens.....it is out of my control.

if she says that she wants space, is that really what she is looking for or is it a way out? I want to burst into her office and profess my love in front of everyone or is that a badf idea? I need somewhere to start?

I am being realistic and I realize that this can backfire. I think if she is th elove of my life than I have no choice than to persue it to the finish, whatever the outcome. I know that I made a statement by leaving (yesterday) but if i go back too quickly than she might think I am spineless or wrapped around her finger. On the other hand if I wait any longer he might swoop in for the kill. I dont know if there is a right or wrong awnser here I just am so conflicted as to how to approqach this. I am completely head over heels for her still. Every other relationship I have had I have gotten over but this is such a different pain, a void so unbearable that ....I havent felt this way since my father died and that was well over 12 years ago. Is it a bad idea to "start the hunt"? I want to send roses to her every day, day after day, even if it takes months to get her. I will lay myself on the line wide open in front of the world and beg if i thought it would work. What can I do to get her feelings focused on me again? I did nothing wrong to begin with so it is that muc more unbearable to me. It seems so senseless. Start me a curse of action. Because my mind id made up...I have to go for it.

I know that this is going to seem like any other heartbreak story. And I dont claim to be special or beter than anyone else, heck I have been heartbroken before, but not like this. And so begins my story... The girl in question is what i believe to be the love of my life ( soul mate). This girl was the object of my thoughts years befoore we met. I used to see her out and every time i did my heart would skip. I wont bore you with the details however the best way I can describe it is like Ross and Rachel from friends or more so like Daphne and Niles from Frasier....but more so, that is TV and this is real. Isplit up with my girlfriend and about 7 months later we met. It was love frm the beginning fro both of us. weeks into our dating she invited me on a trip to the keys. We were learning to cook gourmet foods together. We did everything and it waws new and exciting. About 8 monthsinto the relationship she asked me to move in. She was telling her friends that she knew I was the one and hed never felt a deeper love. We go to NYC for New Years and my birthday. When we get back everything is wrong. She becomes a bit distant and talk of moving in together not a graat idea. A few days later she recants and everything is good for a while, valentines day is wonderful. Than all of a sudden she has done a complete 180 and says that ...well lets say that everything we built this relationship and she and I were sure about , now she was saying the opposite. But than everything would be good for a few days. Finally I had to confront her about what was going on. She admitted that her ex had been on her mind for a litle while now and even though he was abusive and bad for her ,she was confused why she felt this way and doubting our true love. So 3 days before I am set to move in she asks for space-which I grant. Two days later I move in temporarily until i can find a place of my own. Everythings great again! Than boom the same story. Her feelings for her ex resurface and I am in emotional hell. I was so conflicted on what to do but i felt i had no choice but to leave her. I cant live my life like a YO-YO. Her friends and family know as I do that she is making the biggest mistake of her life. What can I do or say to win her back. Was it a bad idea to leave to begin with? Is this fixble? I truly believe she is the love of my life. I know that I could move on but it cant get any more true that our relationship was before her ex poisoned her mind and my life.... The brutal truth please.