halfpint1607306450

Before anyone says that I need to spice things up, don't. I continually strive to keep my husband's attention sexually. I try new things everytime I learn of something that I'm not doing and men like, except for a threesome, sorry, I can't go there. I wear differant lingerie often, at least three times a month. I let him keep the light on when he wants to. I light candles and play music. I surprise him sometimes when he least expects it. I have watched porno movies with him before but he doesn't seem to enjoy us watching it together, I don't get that either. I have masterbated in front of him and with him. For our upcoming anniversary I am learning to exotic dance. I will admit that I don't have sex with him every single time he wants it, but it is few and far between, he is not deprived. So now for the reason I'm needing advice. I posted a couple of days ago about my husband looking at porn and it really hurting me. Well, we talked about it again and he first said that it was a harmless hobby but also said that he may be becoming addicted, he wasn't sure. He told me that I could change the internet password or turn it off all together. I am very afraid that he is going to resent me for doing either one. Ecspecially now that I read that he may be tempted to cheat on me if he is not looking at porn. Is it really that important to men to look at other naked women? I know women don't have to look at naked men to be happy. Maybe that's why this is so hard for me to understand. I DO understand that men are more visual, but to the point that they cheat if they don't see other women naked besides there s.o. What if I turned off the internet and subscribed him to Playboy? Would that be acceptable to a man or would that not be enough either? I am in NO way trying to be sarcastic. I want to know just how important this is. I don't want to push him away but if he is addicted and has easy access to it, then what? (he seems to now be looking at it 4-8 hours a week or just about every time he gets online and I'm gone or in bed.) He says that he does not get aroused or turned on by looking at it, but I don't think I believe that. I mean if it's not doing anything for him at all why would he wanna look at it so much? Is it really nothing more than curosity? I have tried looking at some men myself online, not because I felt the urge but because I thought maybe I would be okay with him looking at it if I did, but it seemed like all the men online naked are on gay sites, which I did not enjoy at all. Maybe I don't know how to search for it. Anyway, if anyone could give me some advice on what to do, I would greatly appreciate it. (guys opinions would be helpful also) Also, is there a chance porn addiction could lead to something that will really distroy our marriage? I mean with any addiction, doesn't the need escalate? Thanks in advance to all! Half-pint

I have been dealing with this problem with my husband for over two years now. (three episodes all together) We have been married for four years, almost five. He says he is completely satisfied with our sex life. I cannot bring myself to believe him, although I have really tried. He says that looking at porn on the net does not having anything to do with us or me. I dissagree because when it upsets me, it does effect me and us. The first two times I found out by the internet history and temporary files. I told him that if he could not bring himself to stop, to at least delete the stuff so even if I did look for it, I wouldn't find it. (he's a computer tech) I was upset for days both times and talked with him about how it made me feel, him looking at teen girls when I'm in my 30's.(although I still get carded for boose ) He really believes that what he is doing is normal, and maybe it is, but I really feel like if he loved me like I love him, he wouldn't want to keep hurting me. I also told him that everytime I find out he's been looking at that stuff it makes me think less of him, emotionally. That also didn't seem to matter. Anyway, this past weekend was the third time I found the sites on the computer. (six months since the second time) Again, I was obsessed with it, going to each site and looking at what he did, I have not idea why, pouring salt in the wound, but I do it everytime! Mind you, this time he was looking at the teen pics just six hours after having sex with me. #1 I'm mad that he didn't delete the crap and I found it again, #2 it looks like a person that was completely satisfied with sex wouldn't need to look at porn that soon afterwards, #3 he knows I found it, again, and hasn't spoken a word about it like everything is normal. Even though I can't hide being upset and withdrawn. He knows I'm hurting. If he would just re-assure me, it would mean the world. I don't even want him to see me naked now, I feel like I'm being compared to some teen who has never seen stretchmarks or pull of gravity. (their days coming though! no offence) We have, in the past, watched videos with him and looked at stuff on the net together, I know we're both curious and liked to laugh at some ametour stuff and discuss what we saw. (and it did spice things up) But not anymore, now it makes me too uncomfortable. Maybe this is partly my fault for watching it with him in the beginning, I donno. Anyway, here's where I'm at with the whole mess. I have got to try and not let this ruin my marriage. It can't! Why? because even though this thing upsets me terribly, besides this problem, he is a terrific man. He treats me and the kids great and is dedicated to us. We get along in every other aspect of our marriage. He's always there for me. I know of no other couple that still gets along so well after four years. This porn thing is the only problem we have ever had. So, I've decided to start focusing more on myself, rather than him. I'm going to do some things that I enjoy doing to feel better about myself. All I can really do is hope he does not become addicted or look elsewhere. I've found out that addressing the situation just makes things worse. We are not going to agree on this subject. I think they will do it more because you don't want them to, just like a child. Unless he cheats on me, either by contacting or meeting someone on-line or off, I can only try and trust he will not want more than to look at the pics. If anyone has any better advice, please share. I send lots of hugs to others that deal with this. The information highway can be your rock when you need someone to confide in, and, it can be your worst enemy at the same time! Sorry so long-winded! Take care! Half-pint