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Lboogie23

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  1. Lboogie23
    Does any one know of any ways to make a divorce well.... less pricey? I mean are there any good online sites, i was looking myself but i ended up getting the run around and got frusterated.
  2. Lboogie23
    i know for a fact that he looks at it behind my back, because its always on the tab bar when i come home from being gone. Also, we have our own fun, we take pictures and make our own videos. While thats fun and everything, i;m not sure if it makes me feel better or worse about the porn thing. I'm really trying to be accepting of it because i know he will never stop. We have had that conversation before, and it doesn't seem to matter.
  3. Lboogie23
    I guess i believe in both! I do believe that there are some things in our life that were meant to be. But for the most part i believe we have the power to control our own lives by the desisions we make.
  4. Lboogie23
    I have been strugglilng with the same thing for the last two years of my relationship, and it started just the same as you , around the time i was pregnet with our first child. I knew that he probably did it at some point before me sinse he was a 30 year old man, it was bound to come up sometime. I know what your going through, and i know how hard this is to accept. i think some days i feel that i can deal with this , and other days its nearly traumatizing, for me. I know during my pregnency, especially towards the end, my fiance didn't want to have sex with me as much because he felt weird that the baby was like right there, and plus he didn't want to hurt it. Even though i explained to him it was impossible, he still felt weird. could it be the same thing with your guy? Maybe he feels weird that the baby is there and hes using porn as a way to get off with out disturbing his baby. I'm just speculating here.
  5. Lboogie23
    i say yes, its rape. Penetration shouldn't matter if it was against her will.
  6. Lboogie23
    rabican, thanks thats what i thought.
  7. Lboogie23
    my therapist not only listened, but she also helped me fix my problems through listening. In the beginning it was mostly me talking and her listening. then eventually she gave me advice but it was always my choice to listen to her advice. She never put any expectations on me.
  8. Lboogie23
    I have also been in your position. And have actually experienced a lot of those same feelings that you described. Not just with my girlfriend, but often even now with my fiance(who is a man). Have you ever heard of co-dependency? The typical codependent is overly compensating, and usually needs someone elses feeling to know what they themselves are feeling, if that makes any sense to you. Also the way you feel like its kinda your job to keep your girlfriend in a happy mood, and keep things pleasant. I'm not an expert or anything. But i know what i have gone through, and it ended up being that i was a codependent. If i were you i would see what literature you could find about the subject, you may even find some on this site, in the articles section. You might find that you identify with this and it may help you to sort out your feelings and ultimatley feel better about yourself, including the insecurity issue which is also a big part of being codependent. As far as your girlfriend, tell her what you have to. Meaning, if its consuming you to keep certain things in, you should tell her those things. She sounds like she cares a lot about you, and that shes trying to understand what you are going through. Good luck.(sorry this turned out to be so long)
  9. Lboogie23
    so now to add to all this craziness, last night on the phone with my step mom, she told me that she recently found a whole lot of gay porn in my fathers computer history. She said there was nothing of females. Just men and "shemales". when she confronted him he said he wasn't gay. Its just kinda weird to think that my father is this way, when i never in a million years would have guessed. Does this mean that he really is gay, or bisexual?
  10. Lboogie23
    For me its also totally random. And it comes on really quickly as well. Theres nothing inparticular that triggers it , except hormones i guess. How often really depends on my mood sinse i am a women who is pretty much ruled by her emotions. If i have something going on in my head, sex is usually the last thing on my mind. But when our kids are napping or in bed, thats usually when i start getting sexy thoughts about jumping on my fiance and just having my way with him!!!
  11. Lboogie23
    I am an insecure person, i'll be the first to admit that. thats why i'm having issues with this in the first place. And why should he have to look at other "hotties" when he has one already in front of his face. Whats so wrong with me only wanting him to look at ME naked, as unrealistic as it may be, isn't that how commited relationships should be? i think so.
  12. Lboogie23
    Thanks everyone for your views on the matter. Especially to the men that do watch it that were able to explain their reasoning behind it, that kinda helped me feel like, okay, maybe its not that i'm not enough for him. Heres the thing though, he has a naked picture of me on his desktop, like as his wallpaper. So its almost like yeah, your not enough for me, so let me go look at some other naked women, you know? And i'm not fat or ugly or anything. So whats up with that?
  13. Lboogie23
    I don't think that any of this is your fault. Your definitely not mistreating him. It sounds like he is very sensitive and not taking responsibility for his own feelings. Its always about him and how upset your making him,maybe you should say how upset all this is making YOU and conflicting with the relationship. i can imagine this situation is extremely frusterating. But i have been in your shoes. I had a bf who was a lot older than me, but in many ways he was a lot more sensitived as well. It seemed like i couldn't even look at him the wrong way and we would have to have this major discussion about how i upset him or hurt his feelings or i wasn't doing something up to par. I tried to compensate for his feelings as much as i could but we only dated for 3 months and it got to be too much for me. I wish you luck and hope you can sort this out with your guy!
  14. Lboogie23
    I know that my fiance looks at porn when i'm not home. I see these sights he goes to on the tab bar. some of them are really out there. I know that a lot of men and people in general like to look at porn. But i guess i am a little confused about somethings. For one, why do men with beautiful gf or wives feel the need to look at porn? For another, should i feel insescure about this? Or does this have nothing to do with me???? I mean i guess i need to hear from men, what is it that men like the most about porn? Is it the freaky stuff that their doing, or is it that they get to look at other naked women? I knew in my head that he has been looking at porn when i'm not around, but to see it in black and white, it just upset me to be honest. I am by nature a pretty sensitive person, so maybe i am overracting to this. I just want to know if anyone has anything to say that could possibly make me feel better about this.
  15. Lboogie23
    good advice , "be strong".
  16. Lboogie23
    wow, great question. the insecure part of me says no, because i know my own flaws. But in reality, if i were a man i would say yeah, i would date me. Besides we are always more critical of ourselves than other people, right?
  17. Lboogie23
    I totally agree, its real and these girls are emailing him regularly. It has gone beyond fantasy and now its just plain disrespectful , and yes to me its cheating. When me and my bf first moved in together, it took me a long time to be okay with him looking at porn. It used to make me insecure, but i've sinse realized that most men do it. And the important part is that he never stops wanting me. Infact he likes when we watch it together and try different things, thats why i know i have nothing to worry about. But you say he turns down sex, and seems uninterested and that raises a red flag for me. Plus the picture of his ex????? why would any one do this, its just not the way you act in a relationship. It sounds like he has other interests, which is his problem, not yours. Don't feel like you have to make yourself extra attractive to keep him interested. I'm sure your beautiful exactly the way you are and if he doesn't appreciate it, maybe you should tell him you'll leave him to be alone with his real girlfriends. lol. Anyways, he sounds like hes a jerk. your too good for this. And who has time for these games? Either your happy or your not. Isn't that what it really boils down to. Good luck
  18. Lboogie23
    I'm a stay at home mom, and i don't get out much. I have two very young children that i care for everyday. I love my fiance, hes good to me, and a great father and provider for our family. But every now and then i get this itch like i just want to have a wild fling with someone. In my heart i know i could never betray my man. But i was just wonering if any other women or even men have ever had these feelings and what do you make of them?
  19. Lboogie23
    I think as a women, that while i don't dress like that all the time, it is fun to dress sexy. and i personally feel that sinse i'm young, why not! When i'm an old lady with saggy breasts and my is touching the floor, it won't look so cute. I think its harmless, as long as its not like borderline prostitute attire. I wouldn't worry about your girlfriend doing it bc she doesnt' know whether or not she wants to be with you. Its actually a good thing thats she feels confident about her body.
  20. Lboogie23
    i would check just to have piece of mind, you could have it and not even know it for a while, thats what happened to me.
  21. Lboogie23
    i can really understand where your coming from. I'm a lot like you. I 'v never been one to have a lot of friends and i always figured it was bc i was so standoffish and non confrontational. It always seemed like i was there for everyone else and then when it came time for me to go through something, no one could be reached. I say, don't sell yourself short. You know what you have been putting out there, you deserve the same in return. I have one good girlfriend that i talk to and trust and i thank God for her, other people just remain as aquaintances. Just be you and you will find a good friend, good luck!!!
  22. Lboogie23
    I wish i could say the same about my mother. i trust my sister the most bc we have been through a lot of bad stuff together and she and i understand each other the most.
  23. Lboogie23
    i totally agree, for me, it was always when i was not looking for love that it fell right in my lap. I understand wanting to be in a relationship, but maybe theres something else you can focus your time and attention on for now. You do still have plenty of time to meet someone, but if you really can't wait, you will probably have to start frequenting other places besides school and work. Maybe a friend can help or knows someone you might be interested in? Good luck!!
  24. Lboogie23
    I i have never heard of any real effective diet pills. a lot of them are not even FDA approved, so i would be careful. A lot of people take diet pills as a short cut to dieting,or to speed up their metabolism while dieting but in reality, they usually do more bad than good,Not to mention become addicting. Maybe you should ask your doctor if there is a diet pill that you can use that is safe.
  25. Lboogie23
    i agree, stringing them both along could really blow up in your face. It must be very confusing bc you said you really love them both. well, have you been with one or the other longer? How did this situation come about?
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