Lboogie23
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Everything posted by Lboogie23
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okay men, i have a question to ask out of curiosity..... What body part do you find most attractive on a women, and do you prefer your women to be quite thin or do you like a women with a few curves and maybe some junk in the trunk?if you know what i mean...
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When i first started having sex, i went to my mother to tell her and ask her advice, if she had any. (we always had an open relationship) she said some things and then she told me to beware, that sex is the most important thing in a relationship to men. While even now, i think that was a little harsh, on some level i don't think my mother was that far off. It is really important to men. Most of the time i could take it or leave it, even though i am totally attracted to my fiance like i;m sure your attracted to your bf. For men its more like a need, and its not fair for them to place those expectatons on us to always be there to fufill that need. We are people too!!!!!! and pleasing your boyfriend is not your full time job. I say try again to communicate your feelings to him, and if he continues to reject you for something so trivial, then yes, maybe you should rethink your relationship with this guy. Your partner should always respect your desicion to chose.
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I say, if this job is really what you want for your self than go for it! You said yourself that it could really be a big opportunity for you. and if you don't do it, then maybe you will always wonder what might have been, you know? Your girlfriend, if she loves you like you love her, will stay in the relationship. Even if it means long distance, or moving with you. If she doesn't, maybe theres something else or someone else that you were meant to be with in this new state. I'm just projecting here. What i'm saying is she should support you no matter what if she wants to be with you. If you want to do it and you don't you will regret it. My fiance, when he was in the military, he go the chance to be stationed in japan. which was like his all time dream to go to japan. But he passed up on the offer bc of the women he was married to at the time, he didn't think that she would wait for him or stay faithful. five years later they separated and he regrets not going to this day.
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I don't think you should be any body that you are not. Meaning don't change who you are for what you think people want you to be. Not everyone is popular, not everyone can be the life of the party. If everyone was, think how boring this world would be. I was never one of the popular ones growing up. 'And looking back on it, i'm glad that i wasn't. Just be you. Don't focus on quantity of friends , but quality. If you find one friend that appreciates you and is a true friend than thats greater than 100 pretend friends or people who are jsut going to dump you later. I say look for a friend in places that hold your interest, so you will have common interests. Dont stress it, and don't force it. You will make friends jsut by being who you are. Just remember, we all have something to offer.
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i'm a little confused, is he still your boyfriend? Did you two just move away from each other? Because unless any of those are true, i don't see how he could have been referring to you. Is it possible that he was talking about something else that you might not know about? thats the thing about snooping, you have to be able to rationally deal with whatever you find, and if you can't then i say eyes off. Its not fair for you to confront him bc he will probably only be mad that you were prying. And it may not even mean what you are thinking it means. My advice is, stop checking your bf email. Everyone deserves their privacy.
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i dont' blame you for being a little ticked off, i know when i was pregnant that whenever someone would cough my way i would get a little nervous. i like you lysol wipes idea, thats probably all you can do besides avoiding them. I think they go to work anyways becasue it seems like people are normally persuaded to stick it out and go on with life as usual when we are sick. I know for me, especially bosses can be like that.
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i was just watching this story on the news about dreams and specifically, reacurring dreams. It was saying that our dreams are just a way of coping with stress in our life or major events. The dream therapist said that we should not necessarily focus on who we are dreaming about but focus on our emotions and the way we feel during the dream and after we wake up. while you might not necessarily be mad at your mom or sister, they may just be in your dream as figures for support. Also pay attention to small details in your dream as they mean a lot. Have you been stressed out recently or made any big changes or are considering doing something new that may change your life in some way? Our dreams are just an outlet , and shouldn't really be taken literally.
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I think yeah, it does sound like you have some insecurity issues. You might want to get right with that before starting another relationship. But i think as far as being upset that she was alone in her room on her bed with another guy, that would raise a few red flags for me. Long distance relationship can be really hard to maintain. Especially during college when your being exposed to so many new things. But as for your question about why would she want you whom she only sees once in a while as opposed to guys she sees all the time, if she loves you and wants only you, those guys won't be any competition in her mind and you shoud be at ease. I think even though you are struggling with some insecurity issues (who doesn't?) some of your concerns were not misconstrued. I say in a future relationship, just make sure to communicate your feelings or concerns with your girlfriend. If something makes you uncomfortable, you should say it. Either she accepts it or she doesn't. And if she doesn't then maybe its not the right relationship for you. But like i said i would definitely do some soul searching before starting a new relationship. Good luck.
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i think not having a car definatley makes dating not harder, but more complicated. Its better for both people when there is a reliable form of transportation.
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okay, i'm glad that you are out of that abusive relationship. That must have taken a lot of courage to walk out of a situation like that , while you were pregnent. As far as your guys mom goes, in some ways i can understand her feeling protective of her son, just because being a mom, i know we can be overprotective, especially of our sons. She probably just wants him to be successful(i'm not saying he can't be successful with you) but she may fear that your baby may become a stump in the road as far as his education goes. I've seen guys take on other womens babies and get really deeply involved and give up a lot of himself freely to be a part of a family and then the coulple breaks up and where does that leave him? Its not his child, so he has no rights to the baby. Hes just kinda left out there. Again, i'm not saying this is what will happen with you, i'm just saying this is possibly part of his mothers fears. I doubt that she dislikes you, in fact she probably sympathizes with you. But maybe has mixed emotions bc its her son getting involved. I think your fears of him cheating again are not misconstrued. Its so natural to feel scared and insecure that he may cheat again. Plus you are pregnent and its easier to become self conscious when your pregnent. But only you really know your boyfriend. Some people would say once a cheater, always a cheater. But this is not necessarily true. Maybe he has grown up a lot sinse then and would never do it again. I would say trust your gut instincts, and also trust him until he gives you reason otherwise. Good luck to both of you, and good luck with your new baby!
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Fear of starting over
Lboogie23 replied to longhaircats's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
What you are feeling is totally normal!! You will probably always carry around the fear of not wanting to get hurt again, at least to some degree. But trust me, it gets better as time goes by and easier to date again. If your pushing people away, i would say at this point that maybe its too early to date. Take time just for you , even if it is a year, get involved in all those things you were talking about that you do, this way you can really get to know yourself and you can know for sure what you want out of a relationship. But whenever you do start dating again, i would take it very slow. Don't keep thinking is this person a potential husband etc, just enjoy the getting to know part. Your going to be just fine, people go through this everyday, so remember your not alone. -
thank you raykay, i'm glad you clerified for me so i did not have to , i'm not sure i would have been as polite as you! Anyways, things have not gotten better at all. we are on speaking terms, but only when the kids are awake. We used to stay up together and watch tv, or just talk after we put the kids to bed. Now he just downs a couple beers and goes to bed with out a word to me. Yesterday i just wanted to hug him bc i miss that, so i did. He didn't even raise his arms to hug me back, he just kept them at his side. that hurt me so much, i can't even tell you. I wrote him an email asking him if he thought we should rethink the relationship, but he hasn't answered back yet or showed any signs of doing so. the real kick in the is that i haven't even done anything wrong, and he's treating me like i just went out and cheated on him or something major like that. and forget about making love, not that i'm particularly in the mood sinse all this, but it would be nice to at least feel desired. In bed he wont' even face me, he keeps his back to me all night. I'm so sad and mad all at the same time. Sad because he's treating me this way, and mad bc what have i done to deserve this???? I feel like i hate him. I know that sounds so bad , but he just went to bed without a word to me or a glance in my direction and i can't take this. I feel blue.
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I agree, i think maybe we are just so different. I mean hes at one end of the spectrum and it feels like i'm all the way on the other side! I'm so glad to hear that i'm not the crazy one. My gut told me that i wasn't. I think i will write him an email instead of trying to talk to him(it might start another fight) and tell him if thats what he needs to be fufilled in our relationship then hes in the wrong one.Also i don't appreciate being mentally and emotionally abused. I feel like he is being so selfish! I'm already mentally preparing myself for a break up, just in case he really does leave.
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um, i think that what you do in the shower is your own personal business and he really has no room to get mad at you for masturbating. It actually sounds quite ridiculous saying it out loud. even if he was still mad about the night before when you turned him down, that had nothing to do with the next day and your feelings of wanting sex. Sometimes we want it, sometimes we don't. Hes way off base.
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its definitely okay to ask them not to go. But in the end its really their decision and you have to ask yourself if you can live with that
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he told me that if i wanted to have a threesome with another man that i could, but i don't want that. i just wanted to be with him.
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I have written about this before, and sinse then i thought that my troubles were over. Except last night my fiance and i got into a fight about it again and this time it was a big one. He says hes mad at me because he thinks i'm "fake" as a person. His reasoning behind it is this, He wants to have a threesome and i don't. I have told him that i thought it would ruin the relationship. He feels that because i told him in the beginning of our relationship that i have had been with women in the past that for him, that was an open invitation for a threesome and if i didn't plan on having one with him, then i should have never said anything at all. I tried to explain to him that i had only told him bc we were getting to know each other and it was something about myself that i wanted to share with him. Anyways, he says that if i really loved him and would do anything for him, then i would do this for him. And hes really upset with me, hes talking about ending our 3 year relationship over this. We have two children for ccrying out loud!!!! There are also some other issues with him looking at porn that was a problem in the past but i have recently been dealing with these feelings and am pretty much over the whole porn thing. But he says he feels like i'm not allowing him to be "himself" what ever that means. So i guess my question is, am i way off base here? I mean i think a threesome would ruin our relationship. But he feels its something that i should do for him based on the fact that i love him and would do anything for him. I would appreciate some real perspective here. Thanks.
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Was your first sexual expereince w/same sex?
Lboogie23 replied to yukonhippie's topic in Sex and Romance
yeah, i was with girls first. It was kinda like you, we didn't know that what we were doing was considered taboo or anything bc we were young between 8 and 12 yrs old. It was my neighbor and she was my best friend. We used to have slumber parties and we were just doing what felt good at the time. Ironically, a few years later when i was 15 i started another girl/girl sexual relationship . This is all before i ever even had sex with men. I'm still attracted to females, i consider myself to be bi sexual. -
Concerned 'bout what she'll think of my "size"
Lboogie23 replied to nm1985's topic in Sex and Romance
a previous boyfriend of mine, was very girthy, and that was nice. and my current fiance, hes very long and not so much girth, but i like that too. Different things feel different ways and i'm sure that your girfriend will appreciate your size for what it is. -
Most condoms come in one general size, but if you are very large, they do come in a larger size. when it comes to the g-spot, some women are different. But usually you can get to it by doing it doggy style, or use your fingers pressing towards her belly. condoms will help you maintain your erection longer bc the sensation is not as intense. Also, if you are concerened about holding out long enough to give her an orgasim, you could try foreplay to make sure she has one before you have sex, that way there won't be so much pressure on you to perform. Good luck, and definitely have fun
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I see what your saying. And i know what you mean. It is weird how tv has always portrayed women in that light, not wanting sex. I can understand how watching that all the time as a young boy could be confusing and maybe make you feel bad for wanting sex, like you were a pig. Thats why i really love the show "sex and the city". I swear its really dead on!!!
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Men and women are different in almost everysingle aspect of life. It makes sense that we would also be different in our sexuality.
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shellbell, i feel your pain. I know how hard it is to deal with the feelings of insecurity and even feelings of betrayal. I too get sick of all the excuses people make for men. But i guess what you have to ask yourself, just like i asked myself is, is this big enough for me to leave him over it. As much as this bothers me, my fiance and i just had our second child last august. We have been together for some time now and have really built an amazing life together. Other than this issue, i feel happy about us and our relationship. And i have come to the conclusion that for me, its not worth leaving him over.
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I definitely feel your pain. I have been dealing with similar issues for the last 2 years of my relationship. It took me a long time to be okay with the porn thing. Not that i'm totally okay with it, i still have some issues. but i can deal with it better now. One of the things i have learned is that if it doesn't affect your sex life in a negative way, if he asks you to watch it with him, or if it doesn't seem too obsessive, than its harmless and is in most cases being used as an aid to turn him on for a release. In your case, it sounds like it is an obsession and it has interrupted not only your sex life, but your relationship in general. I guess you should ask your self if this is something that you can live with or not. And you said you have already tried talking to him about it many times. Could this be something that he has no interest in working out? Imean if not , for your sake, maybe you should rethink the relationship. that kinda thing is never easy, but i always think that life is way too short to stay stuck in a place if your unhappy and you have the means to change your situation. you know? If you can't talk to him on this issue and he doesn't want to work it out than i think that pretty much speaks for itself. good luck!
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thank you for your help, its not for me, but for my friend. They have been separated for over 3 years and have no children together. They do not get along at all, whatsoever. But he has started a new life with someone else and wants this divorce. His wife probably won't contest it bc she does not have much money to begin with and she has started a new relationship as well.
