mease87
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Posts
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Thank you.
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So I havent posted on here in a few. But so far its been month and 1/2 since the break up. everyday it gets alittle better but have my "rollercoaster" days when i feel really lonely and sad. i still miss her alot and wish she would contact me in anyway. just hearing from her would show me she cares alittle, she just making me feel like i dont exist and meant nothing ....wish i would hear from her. But i know i shouldnt get my hopes up. still have thoughts and wonder if shes ok and if she thinks about me. wonder alot about if shes happy and if she plans on ever contacting me or if shes waiting for me to contact her. i havent gone on AIM in about a week and 1/2, well my old screen name so she doesnt ever see that im online. I know this experience is making me a better person and has given me the chance to learn from my mistakes. Just waiting for the pain and hurt and lonelness to disappear. i know its going to take a while. i still think about her alot in my mind. like every 5 mintues and i wish i could get her out of my head. But in a way i dont. i still have alittle problem with seeing if shes online but im gradually getting better and not looking. just hope in a few more months ill be back to myself. and deep down wish she will talk to me agian. i didnt do anything horrible for her not to...i guess only time will tell. well thats where im at after that amount of time. alot better compared to the first couple of weeks. thanks everyone for your help... you are all truley great people and have helped alot.
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Woke up this moring feeling really down... but i find writing positive things to myself gets me into a better mood.... just felt like posting it The Worst feeling you could ever feel, is someone you care about make you feel like you dont exist and meant nothing. Dont let them.....Dont worry about people in your life that dont worry about you. cause are they really worth it? you will know whos worth it, they are the people that will always be there... Be strong enough to do what it takes to be in your life and not give up. And not make you feel like you are and were nothing..... Being scared,distance apart,pain,sorrow,anger,hate,feelings,time are all excuses we make to justify how and why they are not in our life and ignore us. There are no excuses. do you ignore the ones you love or care about? You dont. Live for the ones that live for you. "If someone you cared about died today, Have you said enough, or are you happy where you are........."
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Gahhh... I was holding strong for the past 2 days and now this moring i really just want to see what shes up to.... i need help not to. i just feel like im still close to her when shes just a click away. and i was dreaming about her last night which also aidied in my urge to..... just one of those sad mornings wondering about everything... like does she miss me, or think about me, wondering what shes doing ...ect..... Help me stay strong everyone one
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Ok so its day 2 of me not looking at her myspce and AIM... Gahhh.. so hard not to look but im doing it.. .ik 2 days isnt long but it is for me. hope i can keep it up
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Thanks everyone. and to answet a question before, of what do you have to lose or gain from blocking her. What im feeling right now is if i block her * i think she might think i hate her and want nothing to do with her and thats not the case. and thats why i dont block her. also i dont want to dish out what shes dishing out to me by blocking me on facebook. i want to be the bigger more mature person. * and if i block her, she will never know what im up to , maybe make her curious to what im up to one day and maybe give her that extra push to contact me. those are my confilcts
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One last thing... is it best that she doesnt see what im doing ? like should i block her from myspace and stuff.... a part of me wants to ... but another part doesnt want to do what she did to me on facebook. i dont want to be childish and block her like she did me. but i could be wrong.. should i become invisble from her life completey by blocking her? or just let it be?
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thank you guys, your really helping me out tonight.... and thanks lady bug.. LOL made me feel good
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go to that page and go 4 down... thats alittle bit of my story. its been a month and 2 weeks since the break up. and im not really on my old screen name anymore and made a new one so it doesnt look like im online anymore. i didnt do anything to deserve her to be mean to me... i could only assume the reasons she left. but she just left me with a "IM not happy" I feel so bad right now i want to cry...... i hate thats shes making feel like i dont exist. i thought i meant alot to her... she meant alot to me
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I have a big problem looking at my exs AIM away messages and myspace.... and tonight really set me back. her away message says "Around with Steve leave me one" steve is a guy at college with her which she openly admitted to me that she thought he was cute. and i had alot of issues with him indirectly, cause i was insecure and didnt trust as much as i should have and got to the point where she knew i was asking questions on the phone to ultimatley see if steve was in the room.... he is a good looking kid and apperntly a really good friend... and there alone in her room and im going crazy with emotion right now....... i dont know why im posting... i just feel like breaking down. dont know why she would put that as an away. i feel like i cant breathe and cant take this......... i dont know what to do
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ive have accepted alot of things, its just.... When someone , especially the person you love and care for makes you feel like you dont exist...... worst feeling you can ever feel. Like everything meant nothing and they could care less about you.
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thank you very much... what i needed to hear.
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Can anyone give me any ideas on how to stop looking at her away messages Online and stop going on my old screen name so she can see when im online... i know its best to not do any of this, But i cant seem to stop. i really cant. anyone been in this situaton and give me some advice? cause i know when i see shes out or seem like shes the happiest person on earth i get so sad and miss her and wonder why she doesnt miss me, and why shes so happy without me especially only after a month....
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yeah. i guess i just need to give it alot more time. and freaking stop myself from looking at what shes doing all the time on AIM. its so hard for me to do... and staying off my screen name that she knows. i made a new one. trying to stay on that one. thank you guys. posting on here always makes me feel better. for a short while
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Yea i know what your saying. if she never contacts me agian does that mean she doesnt care about me ? or miss me? or want me in her life as a friend? her last Ex she is friends with. so why elimintate me from her life forever? I hear of people being abusive,cheating on another, leing to each other constantly and going behind others backs.... and they contact each other aliitle or alot. and if she doesnt contact me, its just going to make me feel like the biggest * * * * * * * on the planet. and that she hates me so much.