Aurian

So I should stare at guys to see if they blush? And wait for them to ask me out? Eh, not working to well, hey? I've only been asked out on a date ONCE in my life. I think I am pretty friendly, and not too bad to look at either. Maybe I am just sending out friendly signals instead of flirty ones. Few times I asked out a guy... didn't work out too well. Apparently they were just being friendly.

I'm glad you are finally leaving; we have all been rooting for you. Its rough to be apart at this time of the year, but just gotta look at it as a step towards bettering yourself, your life and finding someone who treats you the way you DESERVE to be treated! Feel free to drop in and let us know how you're doing, or to grizzle a bit if you're feeling low.

I am a 38D myself, and when you get to that size, there is nothing cute for you either in the bra-department.

I wonder if one reason the male body looks odd to some women is because we don't actually see one until late? The female body is everywhere - you can see breasts and such in art, national geographic magazines, and even in some tv shows. However, while the naked female body is on display, I have never seen the naked male body outside of that famous David statue. I didn't even see my first naked man until about 22, in an art class with nude models. If other women have similar experiences (or lack thereof) as myself and Ailec, then no wonder it looks odd to us!

60k? The average yearly wage in Canada is only about 25k! And this guy is poor? Ignoring the dollar values, the amount a person makes would not factor much, as long as he: 1) has a job (already been down the no-job spouse route. After over a year, there is usually a bloody reason for the lack). 2) is able to comfortably support himself. That is all. So if he has no money problems and would contribute to our future household, then it does not matter if he makes 20k, 60k or 300k.

What does slow mean anyways? Does he talk slow? Maybe he is thinking over his thoughts before responding. Maybe he is too deep for his friend I dunno, I don't like hearsay much. Misinterpretations happen. I would rather find out for myself and judge for myself.

Myself, I think it is kinda sad that a woman demands equality, yet expects the guy to handle the paying. In olden days I would imagine that the woman didn't have much funds as she didn't work, but that is not usually the case anymore! I think the woman should at least offer to pay her way (although if the guy pays for her, it would be much appreciated and taken as a sign of generosity) if its the two meeting up for lunch or coffee or something (early dates). If its something fancier, then whoever offered should pay. You want to take the other out to a hockey game or the theatre, you buy them. You can discuss splitting it beforehand, but no buying them and then demanding half back, or going to the venue and only paying for one! This goes for both sexes btw. If its a big night out, and the guy has bought the tickets, I would like to split the night a bit by paying for dinner or the drinks. I wouldn't want to freeload off someone, nor would I want to be taken advantage of myself. I would want to try keep things fair. Even if the guy made a lot more than me, I would still want to keep things on an even keel. However, if he invites me to Paris or something, I can't keep up with THAT, and I'll just buy the champagne

Well... my advise would be to sit down and talk about what gf/bf means to you. That you're not asking for marriage or anything, but just want something that is a step up from the casualness of "some girl I am dating." I would also ask him if he has a difficulty with the words or something (a past relationship made too big a deal out of it perhaps?). If he is still being difficult and there is no reason for him to be, then I would either say he is not ready to make that "commitment" official and is trying to affirm that he is getting there but isn't quite ready to say it yet (kinda like you saying "I love you" and him not being ready to say it back yet, so says "I really really like you and spending time with you."). My second thought is that he is leaving the door open and so can cheat or leave guilt-free since he assured you that he wasn't interested AT THE TIME, and never had a formal commitment.

So... how do you know if someone of the opposite sex is being friendly or might be interested in more? I'm afraid my flirt-o-meter is rather broken and I have absolutely no idea...

Growing up, I always towered over the boys. Heck, I still tower over a lot of men. I guess I prefer a guy who is taller than me because when I look down on a guy, I flash back to elementary and high school, and those weren't pretty memories. I guess I just feel more feminine and... ADULT... when the guy is close to my height or taller.

In regards to joint counselling, be sure that he does not use it as a way to find things to blame you for "see, the counselor said YOU should..." while deciding not to change anything himself "No, I'm fine the way I am. YOU are the one with the problem. YOU set me off. The counselor said you had your part in this."

Maybe its best to personalize it a bit then...? I guess "beautiful", "handsome", etc are a bit low on originality. Perhaps its best to compliment a specific feature that you like...

Make sure they have a lot of access to companies. I tried one specifically for deaf people that was recommended to me by a hearing centre. I have plenty of education and summer jobs, so my resume wasn't lacking - I just needed a "higher up" job that didn't need a phone. 2 years later I get an email from them telling me they found a company 300 km from where I am that might be interested. Um... thanks? Sorry, I didn't plan on waiting that long for you to get back to me. I found a job in the meantime.

Sometimes a woman experiences that, but if she continues, the pleasure comes back again. The sensations stop for a bit, and they make the mistake of giving up. Have you guys tried continueing or is she too ticklish? (That might indicate that she is still sensitive - I find I get "ticklish" but if I continue, I feel an orgasm)

I have been getting the flu shot for about 6 years now. Before, I seemed to be very suspectible to catching it and would catch a bad case every year (sick at home for 3 weeks+). One year, I got the flu THREE times in one season and ended up in the hospital for dehydration the third time because I couldn't even keep water down. Since then, I have only gotten mild flu symptoms since getting my annual shot - a week of being tired and achy when I first get the shot, and then maybe the same thing when I "catch" the flu afterwards. Worked wonders!

Not having much luck either. Yoga? Nope, only one guy in his 50s dragged in by his wife. Tae-bo and taekwon-do? No guys in the first, all under 12 in the second. Weight lifting. All girls again. Art classes? Sorry, I'm not into guys old enough to be my grandfather. Golf? Nope, all coupled up. Where are they all hiding? *lifts up a rock and looks under it*

I wouldn't mind. "Interesting" sounds a bit scary....! Its great that you ask a question though, because it sucks to get an email and have no idea what to say even if you're interested. This way, she can talk a bit if she's interested and you have a dialogue going to smooth the way. I kinda hate getting emails without questions; they feel quite awkward to respond to.

Raise self-esteem: - praise for things done right (too many silly praises for dumb things feel false or condescending, so use appropriately!) - encourage the child to try new things - tell the child that you trust them - give the child a role: being allowed to participate in decisions, help out in the house, help cook, etc - let the child explore their independance Lower self-esteem: - Criticize the child often - Blame the child for things - abuse the child in any way (verbal, emotional, physical) - over-protect the child so it grows up thinking the world is a dangerous place that cannot be trusted or handled - do too much for the child so they think they cannot handle things themselves - give the child no freedom or independance - don't trust the child - give the child no duties, or contribution to the house - have different rules for the child "Do as I say, not what I do", "DONT YOU YELL AT ME!" (while yelling yourself "Finish your dinner. I don't care if I didn't finish mine. Do as I tell you!"

I have permanent tinnitus in my right ear. Had it for 7-8 years now, a persistent high-pitched whistling noise. Tinnitus is a hard thing to diagnose because it has many causes. Loud noises are the most obvious one. It can also be caused by excessive fluid in the ears, a blow to the head, high blood pressure or stress. My own was a combination of loud noise (a new hearing aid was set wrong and basically "blasted" my ear) and stress. I went to various specialists but mine was not "curable." Yours may be different so it might be good to discuss it with a doctor or audiologist.

Yeah, you might wait a bit longer before sleeping with him. A woman usually sees sleeping together as a sign of commitment. However, the guy might have other thoughts about sleeping together (something fun and casual). Then he leaves when the relationship seems to have all these sudden expectations on it.

Some people like being alone once in awhile, wheras other people are rejuvenated by going out and/or being with people. As long as its just a couple times a month, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Sometimes I would just need an afternoon or evening to myself and be "antisocial" and feel better for it! You're probably more extroverted than him. Like him, if I have a bad day, I just want to be alone and work out the grumpy/tired feeling. I feel better after that than spending time with people (I would probably bite if I did!).

I like a more detailed profile myself. Getting a sense of the guy would encourage me to send out a message instead of seeing yet another standard "40-something white guy wants a casual relationship, maybe more, with a young, smart woman. Call me!"

True, but petnames for people you don't know very long? Seems to me like its an attempt to "force" intimacy too early.

Well, I have experienced it from both sides. I am a defensive person myself. I take criticism personally, so if its not phrased in a "nice" way, I take it personally, and react. I say things like "its not my fault, this happened..." or suchlike. When phrased harshly, I try explain my side of things because I feel unfairly judged. However, if someone approaches me right, I listen, try understand and cooperate with that person. My ex was also defensive. He was also verbally abusive on a regular basis, ripping me apart for the smallest things, which perhaps explains my defensiveness! However, he kept saying he had the right to an open relationship where he could tell me anything I was doing wrong. However, with him it was a one-way street! In his case, criticism from me was laughable. He had put himself up on this pedestal and looked down on me all the time. The fact that this FLEA had some complaint against him provoked laughter or rage from him no matter how nicely or mildly I put it. "Please stop calling me a piece of * * * *. Calling names hurts my feelings and I do not deserve it." "You DO deserve it. You ARE a piece of * * * *. I will CALL you a piece of * * * *, because that is what YOU are!" So I guess you have to decide what kind of defensiveness this person is. Is his defensiveness rooted in insecurity and can be worked around by expressing your needs in another way? Or is this a defensiveness of a person in a relationship where he is "untouchable?"

Seconded. If she is uncomfortable, that's fine, its her right to say no. But she shouldn't leave MtBaker in the dark about what is okay and what is not.