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dawn515

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  1. dawn515
    I feel that I should point out that the first test you linked to is not the Myers-Brigg test, but, as it said, it's the Jung typology test. Very different. The other links require payment in order to access the true Myers-Briggs test. That's a shame that you have to pay for it now. I took the true Myers-Briggs several years ago (it's around 200 questions, I think) and scored as an INTP.
  2. dawn515
    Well, I don't know if I have much advice for you. I can relate on the pressure to maintain a certain body shape. I'm also certain that my current boyfriend would have had no romantic interest in me if he'd met me ten years ago. I'd been thin most of my life, but in my early twenties, I gained a lot of weight due to a medication I was taking. My self-esteem PLUMMETED. And I certainly noticed how males, no matter what they themselves looked like, treated me. I pretty much became invisible. Once off the medication, I worked very, very hard at losing all the weight I gained. This was particularly hard because I didn't overeat or underexercise before at all -- it was the meds. That meant, in order to lose weight, I had to practically starve myself while trying to maintain nutrients and a healthy balance, AND exercise harder than EVER! I lost the weight and don't have problems maintaining it. And I noticed OF COURSE, the difference in the way men treated me. And yeah, I know that my boyfriend, whom I love very much, would probably have liked me only as a friend and nothing more if he'd met me back when I was heavy. Does this bother me? Yeah, a little. I can't help it. In my mind, I'm the same person I was when I had the excess weight. And to think that love is so conditional... well, yeah. But people can't help what they're attracted to, right? Sigh.... Where was I going with this? I'm not sure anymore. Double sigh...
  3. dawn515
    Well, I live in the same city as you, and I can say that when I go out to the bars with my friends, it's just to have a good time out on the town with them. I've never tried nor ever met anyone that way. What has worked for me is having a wide social circle and going to my friends' parties, activities, etc. I've met a lot of interesting people that way.
  4. dawn515
    Blue Skittles, Don't you hate it when they say they're going to call and then they don't? But, really, it could be for any number of reasons, so don't freak out just yet. If I were you, I would not call. It's still only Sunday. Like you said, that could be seen as clingy and checking up on him. I would wait, and if you don't hear from him tomorrow, or the next few days, then call him to see what's up. Good luck!
  5. dawn515
    Don't feel bad. I'm in the same boat as you right now. I have a huge final tomorrow that I'm going to be studying for all night (so what am I doing here, right? ) and a paper due on Thursday that, yep, I haven't written. Of course, I don't recommend this method either, but I've been stupid enough in the past to cram everything in at the last minute and still did well. Just make sure you get enough sleep to function before your test!
  6. dawn515
    Hey birdgirl, Thanks for your input. I have thought about the ring, but I don't know much about it. I've never done Depro, but I have heard from other friends that it's horrible! Luckily for me, the Pill never made me suicidal, but I was "weepy" the first three months.. and nauseous, and moody, the list goes on... These symptoms disappeared after a few months, so I seem to be tolerating it well thus far. The only problem is the sex drive. It's just not the same. I wondered if anyone else had luck with oral contraceptives that were a lower dose? I've heard about it but not tried it. It would be nice to have my old sex drive back!
  7. dawn515
    I've been on the pill since June. At first I had TERRIBLE side-effects, but they subsided after three months. Currently I'm on Ortho-Tricyclen, and the one lasting side-effect is that it's lowered my sex drive. I still have one, but it's considerably lower before I started taking the pill. I don't like this! I know there are other options out there with a lower dose of the hormones, minimizing side-effects like this one. Anyone else had this problem? Have you switched to a lower-dose Pill? If so, how has it worked for you? What do you take instead? Any input would be greatly appreciated!
  8. dawn515
    I concur with the others. Girls love a thoughtful gift like that over any trinket you could buy them. One of my favorite gifts from a (cash-strapped) boyfriend was a small photo album. He'd taken various photos from my life and weaved them together with a narrative he wrote himself that became a hilarious but touching story. I love that album! I still have it, even though we broke up long ago. It was one of the most thoughtful gifts I ever received. I'm sure your girl will feel the same about your gift!
  9. dawn515
    Rose, I have to agree with the above -- sounds like you were putting in ALL the effort in the relationship, and naturally that will lead to unhappiness. I still find your original question intriguing. I think there are certain perks to the single life, and then other perks for the relationship life. When I was single, I was happy -- good friends, volunteer work, lots of activities -- so I shouldn't have felt deprived. But, every now and again, I would get that sense of loneliness, no one to share my life with. Now that I'm in a relationship, I have new worries... I know some of it stems from my own insecurities, and I often wonder, "Why do I put myself through this??" But I try to also maintain the life and attitude so that if my relationship ended tomorrow, yeah, sure, I'd be devastated, but only for a while. And then I'd go back to appreciating what I have. I never want to be put into the position of being dependent on someone else for my happiness. It's a balance, I suppose...
  10. dawn515
    Worried, I've been following your story too, and I really feel for you. It must be quite the shocker to learn they've already made plans to marry. I'm so sorry! This must have all been so hard for you, but you're such a strong person, so I know you'll make it. Take care and hugs...
  11. dawn515
    Hm, same here... The only monthly anniversary we celebrated was our six month. We went out for dinner, no presents. We usually go by our first date (celebrating the length of the relationship) rather than when we made it "official" because, yeah, neither of us remembers what day that was, and I remember our first date because it was the day before St. Patrick's Day. It sounds, though, like there might be other things about him that bother you. Is it a compatibility issue? Does he make you happy in other ways? That's more important, I think, than if he remembers those dates.
  12. dawn515
    miserableme, I don't think what you did was wrong. For some reason, sex on the first date doesn't seem to bode well for a future relationship, though. This also might depend on WHERE you live in the US. Where I live, I think sex on the first date is a bit more common than in other places in the US, and many people I know have had relationships come out of it. I've also lived in places where sex that early on would indeed be very much frowned upon. As always, it mostly depends on the two people involved. If you think that early sex with this new guy might in any way jeopardize things with him, there's no harm in waiting a few dates, though, right? Best of luck! I hope things work out with him!
  13. dawn515
    Hi longhaircats, I'm 34, and like you, I used to worry a lot about dating someone younger. Because I'm back in school and all my friends are younger, most of the men I'd meet were in their 20s. I also look younger, and most people think I'm 26. I almost didn't give my current boyfriend a chance when I found out he was 10.5 years younger, but I'd already consented to the date when I found this out. (I thought he was at least 27, but he was 23!) On our first few dates, he didn't ask my age, and when he finally did, I assured him I was older. (Ha ha!) He had fun trying to guess. About a week before I was going to tell him (I thought it was time to do so), we were at the store to buy a bottle of wine, and he'd left his wallet in his car. I said I'd get it, and then the guy behind the counter carded me, and being the impolite guy he was, he announced the year out loud. I couldn't believe it!! Anyway, that's how I got found out. I'm so glad I'd never lied or that could have been a much worse experience! My boyfriend was actually flattered that as an older woman, I took interest in him, and he assured me he had no problem with it. (We'd been dating about four weeks, but I was out of town for a week during that time.) I didn't expect much from this relationship and thought it might just be fun to spend time together, but then we got pretty serious. It's been more than eight months now, and we have plans to move in together in a few months. I'm very happy with him. I'm mostly over the age difference now, but sometimes I think about it and worry a little. But, honestly, I don't think I need to worry as much as I do, and you don't either! Find a guy who's compatible and has the right maturity level for you, no matter what the official number is. Good luck!
  14. dawn515
    I think you make a very good point with this example.
  15. dawn515
    Hi Very Green, I know that it's tempting to think about revenge. However, it's probably best for everyone if you keep that as a fantasy. Usually revenge never works out how we imagine it, and then a lot of pain gets spread around. I know what you're saying about forgiving him yet not trusting him. You can forgive someone for a particular instance, but it's harder to believe their reassurance that they won't do it again. I agree with the previous poster in wondering if you two every discussed it, got to the root of the infidelity. Until you do that, it will probably be impossible to trust him again. And yes, he does need to earn your trust! It's only been two months, so it's natural for you to feel this way. Maybe you can devise a way to tell him this without it sounding as though you're accusing him of something or that you haven't forgiven him. I'm not sure if that's what's making him react that way, but he may be feeling one of those two things. I understand that, in your shoes, you would want the one who strayed to be completely penitent and understanding of how you feel. Best of luck. I hope things work out for you.
  16. dawn515
    I personally think that opens up a big, fat can of worms. I could ask, "Is it 'natural' for humans to enjoy sex, to find ways to turn each other on? [in order to reproduce, as you say]" Then the answer could be yes -- but, then... we're limited to ONLY penile-vaginal to turn each other on? So... my boyfriend going down on me is not "natural", even if it helps me get "ready" (you know what I mean) for intercourse? I think you can anticipate my next question... If he "gets me ready" with fingers or tongue (oral), it's not natural, because "natural" is only direct penile-vaginal sex? Sounds very uncomfortable! I think so-called nature allows for a variety of sexual acts that turn people on to have sex, and thus it's unfair to call oral/anal "unnatural" because it doesn't result directly into an act that can lead to reproduction. People need to get turned on, and there are a variety of ways to do that (obviously). I personally would hate to be with someone who would not help me get lubricated before intercourse and just directly get to it because anything else is "unnatural." That hurts! [i know you said you didn't think it was morally wrong -- just had to pick on the "what is natural" thing and had to disagree.
  17. dawn515
    I am sorry if I offended you! Truly, I did not mean any disrespect. Besides, don't listen to me. I'm not a regular poster on ENA anyway!
  18. dawn515
    I'mthatgirl, When I was at my thinnest -- and naturally thinking I was all that -- was when I ate a fairly okay breakfast, a teeny lunch, and then -- I'm ashamed to admit -- a soy latte for dinner every day. Did I lose weight? Yep! And where did it come off first? Yeah, the boobs. Grrr... I ended up with the basically same body, (hip bones weren't goin' anywhere!), but smaller boobs. Then I just gave up. I mean, I eat well (I'm a vegetarian), and don't stuff myself or anything, and I take public transportation so I'm walkin' alot, but yeah, I think, "Hmm, need to lose a bit here.. what if [insert whatever]." Then I don't do it. Too much work and school to worry about, I guess. Yeah, maybe I'll get back on that crazy diet some other day... or NOT. But to the OP -- I've had PLENTY of good-looking guys all over me, even though they were, well, kinda skinny! In fact, most men are not attracted to overly skinny women. They like curves. Don't sweat it. And men who do like skinny women -- that's just THEIR aesthetic, let them be. It's not the majority though.
  19. dawn515
    Miserableme, Point taken. I understand that you don't think it's inherently unnatural (for men or women, right?) I have not heard of this increased frequency on anal fissures -- is there really? Do you have stats? I can understand that problem happening if it's not done right. The rule for anal sex is "If it hurts, it's not being done right." And you can contract an STD no matter how you do it -- that's why you ALWAYS use a condom. I agree - anal sex can be risky because of the risk of tiny tears and blood, so that's why condoms are so important! Same for women having sex with infected partners who come in them; same for men who have sex with women where blood (such as menstrual blood) might be present. Always a risk. But I didn't think we were talking about that? Any discussion about sex can go on to the the risk of STDs. Plenty of threads for that. I think what started this was your comment on the anus not lubricating itself. If it did, it would be "natural," and since it doesn't, then it's not "natural." So, I suppose the only "natural" thing is penile-vaginal sex? Just a question. No disrepect.
  20. dawn515
    Hm, I think I might be one of those "curvey" girls. No, I'm not overweight -- I have been at the bottom of my "healthy" weight range and also at the very top. Guess what? My hips didn't change! It's all bones and shape, baby! I used to be obsessed with stuff like that. Especially about the hips; my sister, who has the same hips, went through the same thing. I have wide hips. And big boobs. I suppose that makes me "curvey" and not "society's ideal." I can eat less and and make the boobs smaller when I lose weight, but alas, the hips never change. It's just my shape. I finally decided to stop caring about this stuff and focused on just being healthy. I'm not underweight; I'm not overweight. I'm just... me. Yeah, could use some toning, but, whatever... I'll get to it after I get my degree! But let me add -- I live in a big city with hills, walk all the time, and though I'm not skinny/underweight (I'd say I'm average weight), I get hit on ALL the time, guys staring at me, etc. And my current boyfriend is skinny. I keep telling him I need to feed him more -- he's a lucky one -- he's 6'4" and has a high metabolism. We can't connect on this because he says I eat too little, and I have to forego meals to keep up with him! He has to eat A LOT to maintain his current skinny weight. (Yes, I'm jealous.) But, he's sweet, loves my hips, my butt, my breasts, and tells me I have a "perfect" body. I know -- he's exaggerating. Thought I'm not "perfect," I can TELL his skinny a** loves my body, despite my not being a Hollywood "10."
  21. dawn515
    Well, I have to defend Tiredman here... really! I don't think it's fair to say anal sex is unnatural because it isn't penile-vaginal penetration. That only brings up new questions -- is fellatio okay? is oral sex on a woman okay? Does it all have to be missionary position? Anal sex can be very stimulating for some women. I've know a few! (And these were MARRIED women!) But, not to give too much TMI -- I've done it a few times, including with my current bf, and, well, I'm just not into it. That's me. I have even asked him if he wants stimulation there (on the prostrate) when we have sex, and he says NO. I don't turn it into a "turnabout is fair play" situation, though I ask him about it from time to time, simply because I hear it can be VERY stimulating for a male. But if he says no, that's fine with me. He knows that I'm not into anal, don't like it that much, and he respects it. But I would never describe our forays into it as "unnatural." It's simply experimentation on what feels best. BTW, for whoever cares, he likes vaginal better -- he likes feeling me come. Oh, and I still tell him I don't rule anal out COMPLETELY. Maybe again sometime. It's just another way of pleasuring one another. And, since a have a lot of gay friends, I don't like to hear the idea described as something horrible, that should never be done, because it's... "unnatural."
  22. dawn515
    Can I just add that celebrity marriages, and their soap-opera-esque endings, are not representative of the standard population of the US? Multi-millionare pop-star princesses and their "dramatic" relationships and subsequent divorces are simply not a reflection of reality. Please do not use them as fuel for, well, any argument, EVER!
  23. dawn515
    Easy. (I'll stick to the US for this response, just to make clear I'm not talking about traditions in any other country.) Because traditionally, for hundreds of years, women were the primary caretakers of children. They bore them, nursed them, and raised them. The phenomena of the "house husband" is a new one. Like all new things, it is questioned, scrutinized, condemned, and so forth. It can take a long time for ANYTHING new to make strides in the mainstream. Remember, feminism and women in numbers in the workplace didn't even really happen until the '70s! I'm a little miffed that this is being laid at the feet of all women. I'm sure LOTS of women would like to pursue their careers as their husbands stay at home and take care of the kids. I don't think I'm making anything up when I say that a lot of men simply don't want to do this. Again, this is society's antiquated views of traditional gender roles. Remember, just fifty years ago, a woman who wanted a career and put off having children was simply a freak, not normal, and sometimes even demonized. (That old canard about a woman who isn't a mother isn't a real woman, etc. Look at old psychology textbooks.) Another problem is the fact of biology. Women will need time off from work for pregnancy, birth, and nursing. The caretaking of infants will always fall primarily on women because of this simple fact of biology. That does not mean that a man can't take over later on when the child is older, but dont overlook that working women who get pregnant NEED time off to -- at least temporarily -- be "stay at home" moms. And for the record -- and just my personal opinion -- I love the idea of stay-at-home dads. I would love to marry one, really! I have educational goals, and I would LOVE to have a man that would take care of the kid while I'm pursuing a higher degree. But, alas, most don't want that job, so....!
  24. dawn515
    I consider myself a sexual person. Very much so! But my boyfriend loves that about me. And since we've been together for a while, and are more comfortable with one another, the sex is even MORE amazing! In all honesty, that does not mean I don't notice a good-looking person on the street. But I certainly have no desire to cheat. I want to be with my boyfriend, and only him. And I only give those good-looking strangers a mere glance, and I have absolutely no desire to be with them. So, don't be paranoid about your experience. Learn something and have fun!
  25. dawn515
    Hi lucia, Like the above posters, I have to say NO, you are neither stupid nor ugly! It does sound as though there could be another issue here. Can't say what it is, but I would not automatically assume that it is you. There could be a million different reasons that he's not up to having intercourse with you. However, perhaps, in the meantime, you should stop being so generous (the blow jobs, etc) without anything in return. It seems to make you feel let down and not feeling too great about yourself. Instead, stop working so hard on him and tell him your concerns in the most polite way as possible to see what's up. It's hard to know, in your position, how to proceed without much input from him on how he feels about it. But, hmm, I do have to ask about him not liking your masturbating? Can you explain? That seems unreasonable.
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