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rose2summer

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rose2summer last won the day on September 22 2006

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About rose2summer

  • Birthday 09/14/1980

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  1. Thank you so much everyone for your advice! Its the trio traveling together (him, ex wife, and kids) for this week. I read everyone's advice and there are so many excellent points here. I struggle with this situation as he is the kindest, nicest, most patient person I have ever dated. He is very attentive and goes above and beyond, but I struggle with the situation with his ex. I also have a son and am divorced, but I have no interactions with my ex so maybe this is all new to me? My last 2 relationships were with people who were 5-6 years younger, never married, with no children, but were not very mature, and the relationships were not sustainable. He is 5 years older and very mature but also equally fun to be around. I wish I had peace with his relationship with his ex because I want it to benefit his kids but I also don't want to be the other woman. She has repeatedly told him that he is "too well respected" to date me, which is ridiculous and is not friendly at all since him and I started dating, so it's hard not to feel shamed by her and excluded on this work vacation. I trust him but I don't trust her because she told him that she wants to get back together on multiple occasions. He thinks she is very jealous of me which isn't an ideal scenario. Their marriage ended because she cheated on him and has been with the same guy for 3 years, but despite being with this new guy tells him they should get back together.
  2. My boyfriend is very close with his ex wife, they share their kids 50/50, divorced 3 years ago. They do joint birthdays together for the kids, Halloween I spent alone, because its always him, his ex, and the kids, and I am not invited. Tomorrow he is flying away for a week with his ex to a vacation/conference and I was not invited. He said they are flying on the same plane and will spend the whole week together. He said this trip was planned before he met me so I really can't say much but when I asked if he would travel with his ex again, he said he cannot tell her what conferences to go to (she has no reason to go to these conferences, they are unrelated to her job). His ex and I work together and when he told her about me at first she was very happy and said how much she likes me and now she is very upset and saying negative things about how he should not date me because he's very prestigious, and gives me unfriendly looks at work. We have been together for 2.5 months so I can understand maybe why I am not invited, but I'm wondering at what point would it be reasonable for them to stop doing everything together like they are still an intact family. Also, his son has asked if I can not come over, which he agreed to, but when I said how much it hurt, my boyfriend said, he didn't mean it that way, and I think that's where this nesting situation is confusing the kids. His ex and kids are also calling repeatedly on our dates and disrupt our time together. I feel bad even complaining since he treats me very well and is a very kind person. I want to be understanding but are these red flags? Thank you for your advice! Rose
  3. My ex’s mom still contacts me and to be honest, it hurts more. She wrote me this at midnight for New Years “We wish you a wonderful new year! Love you and your son.” I’m going through break up grieving and this makes my heart cringe. It seems like good intentions but...I’m sad his sister still contacts me but his dad deleted me from Facebook. I have not contacted my ex since the break up voicemail.
  4. His dad deleted me as a Facebook friend today. I did so much professionally to help his dad. I don’t get this treatment. I was only nice to his family. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
  5. Thanks everyone so much! I am so grateful for your help and guidance
  6. He just sent me this: I wish you the best personally and professionally. I hope in some way that I helped you get through the most difficult part of your career. I also sincerely hope that if we come across one another in the future we could at lest say hello and exchange a hug. I'm not sure if you care why I made the decision I did or not, but, and this may surprise you, I went to go see two counselors to talk about us. I was very honest about myself and you. Both of them said the same thing: it was uncanny. I deeply care about you and your son and had to love you enough to let you go for someone who is better for you than I am. Best wishes,
  7. I sent him a picture of the tracking number and he said thank you very much and then wrote “On another note, I sincerely hope that you and your son had a wonderful Christmas after he dumped me right before Christmas, why even bother saying that it doesn’t seem sincere. Thank you sweet girl for your message. You have no idea how much that meant to me. I am so grateful!
  8. I mailed the key back today and cried in the post office parking lot. It was the first time I ever thought I was sure about a guy that he was the one and I was so wrong and just am so hurt.
  9. Merry Christmas! love you all! ENA has been my family for over 10 years and I’m so grateful for all of you
  10. I wrote him "I already moved on a week ago and changed the locks at that time, I appreciate your kindness, but you can just toss it. Thanks!" He said Ok. I would rather get no mail from him. :) I just cannot understand why he could be so cruel, so I want nothing to do with him or from him. Thanks for all the support SweetGirl! :)
  11. I just sent him a message that I'll mail him his key back and that he doesn't need to mail mine back since I changed all my locks last week. He wrote back that he will mail my key back anyway. I would rather get 0 mail from him, my locks are already changed. It seems like if he was such a cold person to break up two days before Christmas, why would he even care to return my key, it doesn't make him a better person.
  12. SweetGirl, is it planned as in he chose two days before Christmas to ensure maximal coldness and heartless? It seems so calculated? He seems to want to get the key in person, but I don't want to see him, so I like the idea of mailing it. I just felt bad to do that, but he seems heartless in his approach. Thank you for your help!
  13. I was dumped today after a one year relationship. I got a very cold voicemail saying when can I get my key back from you? I am a bit hurt because a) it's two days before Christmas b) the breakup was left via voicemail which seems cold. Some back story: 12/3 was our anniversary, he got angry with me and yelled at me, then drove me home and didn't speak to me for 8 days 12/11 he calls me and says he was very angry but wanted time to think about things 12/23 (today) I get the break up voicemail asking for his house key I just cannot understand why he broke up with me on 12/23 (2 days before Christmas) and on a voicemail; it seems heartless. Please help me understand this. I would rather never see him again and was wondering if mailing his key would seem ok considering the way things transpired.
  14. He has yelled at me before most times when he is hungry and wants to eat immediately. I called him and he said he suggested talking by text because his mom suggested he hear me out. He asked how I was and I told him I was happier alone than I was towards the latter part of the relationship but I suggested counseling to work on communication and he said he wasn’t sure he wanted to try again and would let me know in a week if he wanted to try counseling/try again. I’m thinking it would be better to move on at this point if he is unsure still? I’m happier without him but I do think there is potential but this constant thinking it over a week at a time seems extreme. Grateful for advice 😊
  15. On our one year relationship anniversary, my boyfriend and I spent the weekend together and got into a huge argument when he got “hangry” and raised his voice at me. I then called him a bad word for yelling at me. He started crying saying how much time and effort he spent planning our anniversary and then drove me home immediately and didn’t speak to me for 8 days. I then get this message: “I got your voice message last week. To be quite frank, I've been so mad about everything that I really couldn't handle dealing with it. In the event you'd like to talk, feel free to call this evening when you get off work. I'm not promising anything other than to hear you out. If you don't want to talk that's fine too. My text messaging ability is only working on a send basis. Haven't been able to receive a text for the last couple of days, so if you respond to this, I won't get it.” I don’t feel like he accepts any fault for yelling at me from reading his text message and he also gave me the silent treatment for 8 days. I’m so grateful for any help!
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