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I can appreciate where your coming from.I don't know if its a healthy attitude or not.What I do know is that whatever motivates a person to be the best they can be must be a good thing.When my father walked out on my mom 20yrs ago that forced her to get up and get back in school.She said that when my father would see all the progress she was making that,that made her feel like a million bucks.

It's been a full six months already since my breakup with my long term gf that I had been living with.I went insane after the initial breakup.I had never been so depressed in my life.I had no idea I could be so emotional and over all stupid.I did everything your not supposed to do to keep her and I havent talked to her in over five months.We were together for about three years and I truly did love her.I felt it in the deepest depths of my soul. She left me after turning 21, graduating school and about to start a new job.I supported her through everything she did.I paid the biils encouraged her and pushed her to be the best she could be.After she acomplished her goals and saw all the opertunities and what a big world it is out there she decided she didnt love me anymore."Andy I just dont love you anymore,I dont know if I ever did..I think I was just infatuated..blah blah blah." Two of my very close friends just ditched me after she moved out in an obvious attempt to bang her.I havent talked to either of them since she moved out.These are guys I had been best friends with since we were like fourteen.That didnt bother me as much as the fact that she was to stupid to see what they were trying to do. I was so depressed I could barley eat I lost about ten pounds in the first three weeks.I ended up getting fired from my job not long after the breakup.I was so messed up I couldnt function at work.I moved out of our apartment shortley after she did.I couldnt stand being there without her.It seemed so empty and cold.I broke the lease and told my landlord to take a hike.I moved in with a good friend of mine and lived like a hermit for about four months.I cut myself off from the outside world only visiting my family and a couple close friends.I spent most of my time locked in my room.I wanted to learn everything I could about love,relationships and the human mind.I read several books on these subjects and I have learned a great deal.I am determind not to make the same mistakes that I made with her again.I honestly believe that my only mistake was I treated her to well.I spoiled her and she took it for granted.A friend of mine many years ago said that the secret to a good marriage is to make her laugh everyday.I tried my best to do that.I never lied to her about anything.I never called her a name or degrated her.I never cheated.I was so sure that if I did everything right it couldnt fail.How wrong I was. While I was locked in my fortress of solitude I concluded that the first thing that needs to change is me.I read a few self help books.(I reccomend "The power of focus" by Jack Canfield by the way)I started to go out more and more.Over the last couple months my zest for life has finally returned.I feel renewed and better than Ive felt in a long, long time.I changed my wardrobe and my attitude.When I go out I talk to everybody in the bar or where ever I am.Im slowly undoing what years of smoking pot and hanging with drunks and losers has done to my social skills.I feel good..I feel like a new Andy. I still tink about my ex everyday.I often think about my friends that ditched me.I wonder alot about what their reaction to the new Andy will be when I eventualy see them.I still love my ex I wont lie.Just because someone hurts you and leaves you doesnt mean you can just stop loving them.I wish I didnt love her anymore.I wish I didnt miss her anymore.But what is done is done and all that I can do is move on.Everything I do in my life today is still motivated by her.I am absolutley determined to make her regret her decsion.Succsess is the best revenge. My point in this post is to show you all who have been hurt life will come around.Take all the time you need to grieve.I know you feel like you'll never feel the same again and that life is cruel and unfair.Life is unfair what happened to you probably wasnt justified.You poured your heart and soul into a relationship and that person just walked out on you.Thats not fair life isnt fair but you can rest assure god is fair.Cry all you want.Sit in your room and write in your journal.Write letters to your ex then tear them up.Do what you have to do to make yourself better.You are better for what youve been through.You are learning things that some people will never understand.The divorce rate in this country is about fifty percent, and of the fifty percent that stay together it's estimated that half of those marriges only last because of codependency issues.Those are the people you see that have been married forever but seem very unhappy.So be glad that your learning what your learning because its going to make you a better spouse,lover and friend when that right person does come along. Your friend,Andy " The pain of giving up is the pain of death,but the death of the old is the birth of the new" Dr. Scott Peck "She left me broken hearted and defeated,but thats ok baby what you did made me stronger,now I get my paper longer" Nas A couple books I read road less traveled by Dr scott peck The five people you meet in heaven by mitch alboum The bible A new beginning by jerry hicks

I'm 25 and never had acne in my life until about 5 months ago.Last month I even posted here about it and asked if anyone had been through the samething.I ended up seeing my doctor and she put me on a perscription medication.So far its worked pretty well.I don't know how old you are,but she said that in adults acne is literaly an infection in your skin.Thats why they treat it with antibiotics.I know it suck's but if I were you I'd just go to your family doctor.I wish I would of went sooner instead of trying all the store bought stuff that doesnt do anything. My acne started right after my girlfriend dumped me,I got fired from my job, and I had to move into a new place in a new town.I'm pretty sure stress started it all.

Aproaching a group of girls is one of the most intimidating things I can think of.Ive blown countless opertunities by trying to get that one on one.The hard truth is you just have to get up and do it.My roommate literaly pushed me into groups of girls when I was first single again.After awhile it gets easier and I hope it will get easier yet.My roomate has been single for years and he has absoultley no fear.He said it just gets easier and easier and you have to lool at the situation as an experiment.Not life or death.

I cant believe she said that.That is just imature and all around mean.Screw her,you can do better.

Whenever one of my friends would bring up my ex because they had talked to her or heard something or whatever. I would just tell them I don't wanna hear it.She's dead to me it doesnt matter.I really have no clue what shes doing today and thats the best way to handle it.Heloladies21 is right, just relax your time is coming.It came around for him and it's finally starting to come around for me.Goodluck..

I can understand how you feel right now and I would find those pictures difficult to look at if I was you.However,you two are broken up so he has every legal right to be a flirt and do what he is doing.This doesnt mean that he love's you any less.I think the absoulute best thing for you to do when he comes over is to just be cool and have fun.If you wear your emotions on your sleeve thats going to make him happy that your jealous and let him think that he can manipulate your relationship.I know that you wrote in your last post that he isnt this type of guy.But all the guys I know would look at it that way. When I was 18 or so I had a girlfriend that I had been with for quite awhile.(she looked alot like you by the way)I moved about an hour away and our relationship ended up alot like yours.I screwed around alot behind her back during that time.Even though we were technicaly "not together" I didnt want her to know anything that I was up to.I still loved her with all my heart but at that time and at that age I felt that I had to "play the field".It always seemed that when I was ready to fully break all contact with her she would just pop up and real me back in.She did it every time by simply being who she was.She never sat me down for a talk or anything.She would just be flirty and be her self and by the end of the night I would be totaly head over heels for her again.In the end because of my own retardation she let me go and I was heartbroken for quite awhile. Today we are very good friends and a few months ago I did in fact ask her how she managed to hook me everytime I really started do drift away.She said "Andy your easy,I knew that you loved me I could see it in your eyes when you looked at me.I knew I just had to keep being the person that you fell in love with and I'd get you everytime."She was exactly right. So for Saturday my advice to you is to just relax,don't worry about what he's been up to and just be the person that he fell in love with.If you do that and he does in fact love you things will work themselves out.Please don't make it a point to have a disscussion about your relationship status or anything like that.Let that conversation come up on it's own.And finally if things are weird or he doesnt seem all that into you anymore than thats ok too.That really just tells you that you never had anythig anyway and that there is someone out there that can really appreciate your love. Goodluck and let us know what happens.Your friend Andy Stone

I said that exact same thing to my girlfriend at the end.The exact same thing.That really made me feel good.I didnt think she really listened to what I was saying.Now maybe, just maybe I can think she will remember that.

Love will find you when your ready for it.

You know thats one thing I took away from my relationship.I got to comfortable and exposed my insecurities.I think that was one of my biggest mistakes.

I hope your not going to flat out ask him this question.I hate to say it but he will tell you yes for sure then.

I say follow your heart.If you still love him and he still loves you then you can't go wrong.I'm not saying just sleep with him but be open to the fact that anything can happen.If you get a bad feeling then put him on the floor.If you feel all warm and fuzzy inside then do what you feel.

Being true friends with an ex is almost impossible.Im the only person I know that is true friends with an ex and that happened after over a year of NC.

I don't think there is anything wrong with breaking the no contact rule as long as you are prepared for what may or may not happen.What your therapist said aboout every situation being diffrent is so true.There isnt a set way to handel every relationship.I think what you did took alot of courage.You went in there with no expectaions and kept your cool.I'd say that you stay away from her from here on out and if she wants to talk she can call you.Otherwise you got the clousre you were looking for and now it's time to move on.Easier said than done I know. I think you should bear in mind that the reasons she gave you are a cookie cutter responses.Everybody says "i want time to myself' and "its not you its me".I would just ignore those kinds of answers get them out of your head there totaly bogus.Learn what you can learn from all this and better yourself. I really suggest taking time to yourself.I have a good friend who is going through a divorce and its almost like a race now between him and his ex as to who can move on the fastest.Thats not healthy at all.He's just prolonging the healing process.After my breakup I didnt do much for about four months.My mother told me its alot like the old Hair and Tortuse story,slow and steady will win in the long run.What your going through is one of the hardest things that anyone can go through. I took alot of time to refelect and learn all I could from my expeiance and those lessons I have learned Im more than happy to share.My torture and heartbreak won't go in vain.So please heed my advice and just take care of yourself.

Well goodluck with everything.Let us know what happens.

LOL...That was great dude.So,So true...

I think you should go back.If your career is the only thing you have than stay with it.If I were you I'd go back and I'd try and steer clear of her for like a month like you said.That way when you are ready to contact her you will be settled and moving in a positive direction without her.Once she see's that you are doing everything you said you were going to do that will then prove to her that your all the man she ever thought you were.That's what I would do. Damn that sweet, sweet ganja, damn it to hell.

If you and a ex are no longer together.Thus ex's, you never send them anything! Whether it's a birthday,Christmas,or Fourth of July that is your ex.Not your friend, not nothing.And you for damn sure don't send them anything on Valentines Day. Ex's are ex's not friends, and if your one of the lucky few that does manage to become true friends with an ex then maybe.But that is as rare as a me getting out of bed before noon.

I don't think it means that people are less likely to fall in love.What I do think is that people are less likely to stay commited to somebody.It seems to me that people are never content.They always want more.They always seem to think that the grass is greener on the other side.Whether they are 25 or 55.

DN that link made me wanna puke.Thats why I don't think I'll ever let myself fall in love again.The divorce rate is just crazy.You can never really be sure that someone will love you forever.I've been told "I love you" by 3 diffrent women now.I'll never believe another one as long as I live.As far as Im concerned they all lied.That link is just more proof.Excuse me......BLAAAA

I honestly think more women cheat then men.

For gods sakes dont call her.What kind of a reply is "getting drunk" anyway.Sounds to me like shes trying to get under your skin with that.I know how hard it is for you right now but just be cool and remember to be a man.Its easy to turn into a total bit*h when your hurt like you are.But you cant let that happen.You will just end up looking like a clingy wimp.Be strong self control is a virtue.

I was going through some things of mine today and I came accross this letter a friend of mine sent me soon after my girlfriend moved out.I thought I'd share it with all you fine folks. *Maybe god wanted us to meet wrong people before meeting the right one.So that when we finally meet the right one we will know how to be grateful for that gift. *Maybe when the door of happiness closes.Another opens, but often we look so long at the closed doorthat we don't see the one that has been opened for us. *Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with.Never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best converstion you've ever had. *Maybe it's true that we don't know what we have until we lose it.But it is also true that we don;t know what weve been missing until it arrives. *Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back.Don't expect love in return.Just wait for it to grow in there heart, but if it does'nt be content that it grew in yours. *It only takes a minute to get a crush on someone,an hour to like someone and a day to love someone.But it takes a lifetime to forget someone. *Don't go for looks they can decive.Don't go for wealth, even that fades away.Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.Find the one who makes your heart smile. *There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. *Dream what you want to dream.Go where you want to go.Be what you want to be.Because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. *Always put yourself in other peoples shoes.If you feel it hurts you it probably hurts the other person too. *The happiest of people don't seem to have the best of everything.They just make the most of everything that comes their way. *The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past.You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past faliures and heartache's.

It's so hard because you truly loved her.It's so hard because your plans for the future have just been changed dramaticaly.It's so hard because you have to let go of a whole way of life. It's all so hard I know what your feeling first hand.Unfortunatley there is nothing you can do but tough it out.Im also sorry to tell you 3 and 1/2 weeks is nothing your just getting started.Good luck

Unfortunatley I dont think there is anything you can say or do.Everyday little by little that feeling will fade away.