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Dako

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Everything posted by Dako

  1. Dako
    You're overthinking this, Luke. If you're friends with a woman, and meet a GF, your friend would be happy for you. You need no permission. Conversely, you need no outside romantic relationship before you have a female friend. This friendzone term presupposes the only reason to be near a woman is to pursue intimacy. IMO, women are handy creatures for many other roles, such as friend, teacher, doctor, lawyer, cousin, sister, neighbor...
  2. Dako
    I'm a bit closer to the border, and have lived here since 1957. I know the problems with illegal immigration are tough, but as long as conservative business owners exploit them as cheap labor they'll keep coming. My first jobs were in construction, working alongside these folks, and I've never seen such a strong work ethic. Consider how many white panhandlers you see in Socal. I notice you don't specify who you refer to. A race, a nationality, a social class, criminal group...?
  3. Dako
    When depression has me, I can't tolerate myself, but the rest of the time I carry self-inflicted hickies.
  4. Dako
    BD, Put yourself in her shoes. Her guy wants sex all the time, and she'd prefer him to want it far less. Would you be willing to try medication to solve your problem? My point is that you may both feel perfectly fine with your libidos, but just aren't compatible.
  5. Dako
    It's understandable to fear further rejection. If she ignores you after a month, you think another month would reel her in? If I were you, I'd call her to see if it's truly over.
  6. Dako
    Member of a rowdy punk culture in Britain. image removed Did you hit the guy for his transgressions or because you were pumped up about Steve?
  7. Dako
    mease87, That's what I mean. If you really want to reconcile, talk to her and be upfront with your feelings. She may go either way, but you'll know where you stand. If it's over, you'll know. That's the point where NC is of value, not as a way to pique her curiosity, but to get past the real breakup. If she agrees to getting back together, there you are. Living in limbo waiting for a sign is no solution at all.
  8. Dako
    My first one wasn't as bad as the second. BTW Cat Stevens wrote and performed that tune.
  9. Dako
    Silk boxers. Y'know, if you keep at it, you'll have to change your screen name.
  10. Dako
    Some troubled people interpret NC as being a method of coaxing the ex to return. In that case, the person should approach the ex honestly and attempt reconciliation, since any chance will be lost otherwise. What puzzles me are those who define a breakup as a temporary setback, sleep with the ex, date them and still say they're broken up. That's not a breakup, it's a lover's spat. If it's truly over, NC is the way to get over it and let go. It's no game, it's a way to minimize the damage when it's over for good.
  11. Dako
    5 hours. After that I had no doubt it was over for good.
  12. Dako
    I mis-typed. I meant hurt himself. Must be a senior moment. Go to quick links,(upper right) edit profile and follow the instructions.
  13. Dako
    He's childish to threaten to hurt himself. He obviously has no trouble hurting others. Sympathy for the devil?
  14. Dako
    That's so undeniably true for me. When the dust settles, I understand myself so much more. Life gives you tests.
  15. Dako
    Priceless milestone in your recovery!
  16. Dako
    I don't think you need revenge to feel this way. When we get to the point we knock the ex off their pedestal, and stop looking back at our losses we're able to see clearly. I never realized how many little things about my ex drove me crazy until way after the breakup. I'd never wish her any trouble, but it can be liberating to see them as humans like everyone else.
  17. Dako
    Although agnostic, I felt such a belief in marriage that when my wife left, I actually intended to carry the torch forever and never talk to another woman, because I took that promise of fidelity so seriously.I spent 27 years believing only death would end our marriage. Unfortunately, as time went by, I was left pondering a loveless life alone. My faith in the sanctity of marriage died as I realized one person can't sustain it, no matter how committted you are. This may seem humorously obvious to unmarried folks, but after years of deep devotion, changing course is difficult. If your husband is treating you in accord with your religious principles, I would see the concern with your vows, but you can't create a marriage singlehandledly.
  18. Dako
    I'm afraid that buys into the view that gays are defective, due to being damaged. It's a total crock.
  19. Dako
    If you meet someone, and the convo has more than a passing reference to their ex, it's likely you're a crutch. If they're making a new start and discussing future plans without rancor about the past, it's healthier.
  20. Dako
    You've certainly tried. You've attempted communication and counseling. He has ignored you, and without him trying as you are, there really isn't much more you can do. At some point, you have to decide if your need to keep trying is futile. He seems to have already decided.
  21. Dako
    I agree with charley, and suspect that as you go though with contacting the bank, this man's family the police and everyone else, you'll be well-received. Anyone would be disgusted by him, and the law is on your side, once you document the theft. Guys like him are despicable, and pull these crimes because they get away with it.
  22. Dako
    Honey Pumpkin is so right. You aren't to blame for this. The cards were stacked against you from the start, despite your effort to make it work. Some people see divorce as a failure, but It's also a new beginning for many people who find themselves at a dead end with a partner who gave up. To endure this for a liftime would be a shame.
  23. Dako
    I'm sorry you're being mistrated by your husband. Don't take this the wrong way, but some people use their faith to ease guilt. I'd be surprised if he's not one of these people. You may not believe in divorce, but in order to deal with this mess, you'd be better off accepting it's over. He's been abusive and controlling for way too long, and hiding his affair behind his ego. This guy seems very cruel and insensitive, and reconciliation will just get you more of his indifference, and you may even adapt to this treatment over time and expect nothing more from life. You deserve much more than this.
  24. Dako
    I agree with writing things down, I wrote a lot, read it over and over as it grew in size until I reached a point where it no longer mattered, then I tore it up and put it in the trash. I ground my wedding band to dust and scattered it in the wind. You can't get even, so get over the anger.
  25. Dako
    You need to tell her to get lost. If she can truly predict the future, she should apply to win the $1 million offered by James Randi to any proven paranormal practitioner.
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