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kellbell

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Everything posted by kellbell

  1. kellbell
    Cool, I would just be yourself and try to relax. I know you share all the same friends but I would try to keep your distance. Be cool but a teeny aloof. Ya know? I am sure you will be okay. These sound like really fun things to do. I hope things go well. I expect a full report. LOL j/k.
  2. kellbell
    Are you all still going snow tubing?
  3. kellbell
    Hey there and welcome to eNotAlone although I am truly sorry the type of circumstances that brought you here. DN is absolutely right about when in doubt about marriage, do not go through with it, or wait until things have cleared. Marriage is a big deal, not to be taken lightly as you have probably realized. Looking from the outside in, I will say do not marry this young lady, ever. I have re-read the beginning part of your post and from the sound of things, your fiance was never thrilled and entralled about this proposal. And to me, being thrilled, excited, giddy is the type of reaction you want. Not the reaction your fiance had. Declining, asking you to ask later, and so forth is usually not a good sign. Now, if things were different with her family and your relationship with her parents, then perhaps delaying the proposal would have been okay, until other matters smoothed over. But my friend, this is a disaster. Just utter chaos and dispicable behavior. Sometimes I wonder why can't some parents just be happy for their children, pray that they raised them right and let them lead their lives? Unfortunately, many people mistakenly feel that marriage will fix things, that it will right all the wrongs, that it will elicit change...for the better. But it does not. In fact, in many cases, it makes things 100 times worse. Do you really want to spend your holidays for the rest of your life like this? What about children? Do you want to put your future children in this mess? I can just picture her mother meddling in how you will raise your future kids, causing more issues. Yikes. What if you and your fiance, God forbid have financial troubles down the line and you need help? Do you honestly think HER parents will help? Perhaps think about what you envisioned for your potential wife would be. Make a list of characteristics and qualities you want and need in a partner. And then make a list of what your fiance has and compare each list. I did that once and boy, was it an eye opener. I really do not see your fiance changing. The blood runs real thick her family and I just feel given what you have described, your fiance will continue to please her parents at your expense. IMO, her family is you now, and her future kids. Not her parents. She needs to consider your needs first before her parents, her brother, and I just do not see her doing that. And her commincation style is another issue. Marriage will not fix that. I do not envy your position at all. But what ever your choose, think long and hard. Don't be a stranger here, keep us updated on how things are going. Take care.
  4. kellbell
    Hey there MG, "I don't feel ok about what happened in a sense that I still feel that I love her." I guess I meant to write that you feel okay about how you have been handling things with your ex these last few weeks.
  5. kellbell
    Hey deejay, Wow, it has been a year?! You have come so so far. I am proud of you and I hope your message will help others that are in the same situation you were in last year. Well done.
  6. kellbell
    Hey Shelly, I know I am coming in late. I looked back at your past threads and I was wondering is this guy the same person you were posting about back in June-July '06?
  7. kellbell
    "the better chance you have of him "seeing the light" and seeing what an amazing person you are. That is just not going to happen." Oh my gosh!!! I fell for that EXACT mentality 7 years ago and I can you first hand IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!! This guy had FIVE months to figure out what a great gal you are. If he has not already, pretty slim chance he will ever. You deserve more chica!!
  8. kellbell
    Hey MG, I am not gonna yell at ya. LOL I do not feel your ex is a monster either. The situation that is happening between the two of you is very normal and common. But the points I was trying to make, was when someone breaks up with his/her partner, he/she needs to deal with their choices of ending the relationship and show the respect and courtesy of the dumpee's space and time. The dumper cannot have it both ways. And that is what I am seeing with your ex. To me, that is incrediably unfair to you. I understand NC was very painful for you. It usually is in the very beginning. I like to call it "emotional detoxing." And detoxing hurts. Physically, mentally, emotionally. It is very difficult to make the changes and adjust. Getting out that comfortzone commonly makes people panic. You seem to be okay with what has happened. It is ultimately up to you whether or not you want to wait while she figures things out. Hang in there.
  9. kellbell
    Sara, I hope you received your closure. The fact he never asked to see you, did not thank your for your honesty and heartfelt words, and only commented about a movie SHOULD be your closure. I hope you feel better real soon and hang in there.
  10. kellbell
    Sara, I echo the sentiments of all the others here. Please do not send that email. It sounds way too needy and desperate. Also, you are taking on too much of the brunt as to why your relationship fell apart. It takes two to tango my friend. I would not apologize for matters that are not entirely your fault. So either A. Keep it short and to the point. B. Don't send anything and engage in total NC. I am leaning more torwards option B. I am so sorry things have been hard. But you have us here on eNotAlone to help and support you. (((hugs)))
  11. kellbell
    Hey all, I have read this book. I have never considered it a "dating bible" nor an advice book. It is a more like a wake up call type of book or good kick in butt type of book. You cannot tell me that many people in dating world and whathave you need that and cannot see the trees in the entire forest? That is what this book is about, IMO. I like the light humor the author used...the humor allows you to laugh out loud and not take rejection so serious.
  12. kellbell
    MG, Don't be a stranger here and let us know how things are going, 'kay?
  13. kellbell
    Of course I believe MG is an adult and can make decisions but I have been on this forum over a year and have seen this situation over and over and over again and have yet to see anything positive come out of these situations. I am supportive of him but at the same time, I just don't like to see people being taken advantage of, intentional or not. And I see this happening here. Guard your heart, that is the bottom line of what I am trying to say.
  14. kellbell
    Have you thought about using a vibrator? They work wonders.
  15. kellbell
    It is natural to defend her and it is understandable. "Also, she does realize what she's done," I am sorry, I have to disagree with this statement. If she did, she would have left you the heck alone OR she would be trying like heck to repair the damage NOW. Apologizing is futile unless there are actions to back it up. Texting and going shopping to me is not showing you she is sorry and wants to get back together. To me, it is avoiding the issue and acting as if nothing had happened. Friend, I see you getting very hurt. I don't want that. And I am sorry for misreading your post about the pictures of his cat. Let me ask you something, is she still in contact with this other guy?
  16. kellbell
    Personally, I would not like it. I trust my partner. However, it is disrespectful to you knowing how you feel about the ex and it hurts you. Why do they have to go to lunch? Can't they catch up via email or phone conversation? I just do not see the point in being friends with an ex or having any kind of contact with an ex. Unless they share property or have children togeher, I really do not see any other reason.
  17. kellbell
    Hey there, " but I don't want her to suffer." I hate sound callous but if she is suffering, it is her own doing. She needs to deal with the consquences of breaking up with you, for another man no less. By you hanging her like you have is not showing her or making her realize what she has done, how she has hurt you. You are showing her it is okay to stomp your heart, there are no reprocussions of doing so. She knows you are going to be there no matter what, whose to say she will not do this again to you? She is showing you pictures of HIS CAT?? Wow, that's classy. I am so sorry to say, if she truly loved you and wanted to be with you, she would have never broken up with you in the first place. Right now you are her safety blanket, her backup plan. I believe you deserve so much more than that. Treat yourself right. Hang in there.
  18. kellbell
    Hey there, They could be a bad batch. The same thing happened to me. I wear Acuvue 2 and when I went to the eye doctor this past summer, she was a bit troubled by the dryness in my eyes. So she had me try Acuvue Oyasis. She gave me a free trial pair for a week and sure enough the dryness was gone. I ordered a box from 1800contacts and put them on and they were all blurry!! Like, someone put furniture polish on them. I put on another pair, same thing. I have yet to return them and get a new box. It could be the batch is not good. I would think the colored contacts would cause irritation, not the other way around. Good luck.
  19. kellbell
    Cats, I recommed refraining from what feels good now and look out for yourself in the long run. I know this is hard, it is like a drug and you feel you cannot stop but you know this bad for you like drugs. You can do it.
  20. kellbell
    Your welcome.
  21. kellbell
    Here is everything you will need to know about NC (no contact....)
  22. kellbell
    How come you were checking up on him? Are there trust issues going on in your relationship?
  23. kellbell
    Well, I guess this begs the question are you exclusive? And if you are, I would tolerate that at all.
  24. kellbell
    Maybe next year, try having a Christmas list. My boyfriend has wishlist on a website he frequents, things ranged from $2-$90. Thank GOODNESS he had one and it was stuff HE picked. Why not have a wishlist put together from your favorite stores and/or websites and set a budget on how much you can spend on one another?
  25. kellbell
    What? I don't understand. Why is he frequenting a dating site?
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