gut feeling

Is there any reason you believe she would do anything that would upset you while with her friends? Is there some reason you wouldn't trust her judgement? If you countinue this way she may become to resent you and feel like you are trying to control her. If that were to happen I believe you are on a very slippery slope.

sorry i believe i made a mistake posting here.

thanks a lot!!!

can anyone fill me in on this "NC" thing and what is meant to accomplish?

I am sure it is done for. Its just very hard to take. I suppose I wanted it be on my own terms and not end in this manner. I also see it as a challenge, however twisted that may seem. I know this girl ripped my guts out and I know she very well could do it again and yet I still want her to be here with me. is that????

I just comfirmed my gf was cheating on me by reading her text message she sent her boss on xmas eve! Yup thats right!!! her boss and xmas eve! I'll admit things havent been great recently but thats no reason/excuse for her to her boss on several occasions is it???? She tells me it was 4 times about 2 or 3 weeks ago and can says its because I drove her to it by being suspicious and snooping. Her defense is that if she is being accused of something she may as well be doing it. Now I know this is not the real reason, I'm pretty sure I know why. About 2 months ago she abruptly moved out and after that we were trying to work it out. I, however was not really giving it a true effort. I suppose she knew this and figured we were done. That is what it is.... My question is do I see her again to help me forgive her so I can move on and should I want her back???

first let me say how sorry i am for you and what you are going through. i just read through your whole post and i must say it so eerily familular to my situation it creeps me out. my gf started a new job, we have the same age difference, she started talking with one particular male co worker at all times and text messages at all times. i asked her whats going on and she said they were just friends and liked to discuss relationship problems. he has no gf... she made the same claims about me trying to control her and she doesnt want me to get jealous etc etc..... she began to get very secretive and accusing me of all sorts of things. (this is a defence mechanism when people are really up to no good, divert the focus away from them) differences are; she wanted and DID move out shortly after this began. she did not stop talking with him at all hours. i was not invited to the xmas party. (pretty obvious why.. read on...) i have never met this "good friend". and just yesterday i found out that she has been sleeping with him for some time. i'm not saying she is cheating on you. just be wary and trust your instincts. you have them for a reason! i did not trust mine and i am now regretting it horribly!

I kept giving her the beifit of the doubt for many reasons, some selfish and some not so selfish. Anyway its Dec 26th and shes in the shower and i read some her txts and she's been doing a guy from her work for god knows how long and she cant even remember. Only when confronted with irrefutable evidence does she finally own up to it.... lying piece of garbage. So as a lesson to anyone who reads this, please trust your insticts, if it smells rotten 99.9% of the time it IS rotten and you should cut your loses and GET OUT!!! You'll save yourself much pain and agony.

thanks confused! i have to agree with you. i still have no concrete proof as she continues to lie to me and deny anything as going on. i have learned today that she has been calling a certian someone from her work at all hours and on weekends. her lies are ridiculous. i think i may be a little evil on my own now. just to settle the score a bit. then i will dump her but good!

thanks for the quick reply. do you think i may be reading too much into everything? i have never been insecure about our relationship until i started havin this gut feeling that something wasnt right.

I am going to try and be as brief as possible. i am 36 (i am male) she is 23 (pretty mature 23). about 2 months ago she started talking about marriage and kids and to move to a different place. i said i was unsure about kids cause i cant afford it right now, i dont want to go through the production of marriage as it would be a huge strain on my family which is far away and my job situation is changing in january so i dont want to move till i know what is happening there. after some discussion she gave me till march to figure it all out. she kept bringing it up so finally about a month ago, i said i dont want kids or marriage in hopes she would stop talking about it everyday. she began hanging out with a friend that she rarely saw before. (she is quite a piece of work! lets just say she has loose morals.) i began to get a gut feeling that something was not right about 2 or 3 weeks ago. so i began to follow up on that feeling. i checked her phone to see who she was calling and to see text messages. i noticed she was calling her friend who she was supposed to be out with at that time... odd... but ok. then i noticed all the text messages were only from me... odd... i have always looked at her texts and she wouldnt care. she looked at mine and i looked at hers.. and she would have messages from all kinds of people. now, just me. her call log was all messed up to. only calls from certian people and from long time ago. so then, she was away on a 3 day business trip, yes it was business , this i know. but the whole time she was there she would barely respond to me at all. she came home from the trip, walked in the door and said "i'm breaking up with you", after some discussion she explained she was in debt up to her eyeballs and wanted to move home with her mom for a few months to get her finances in order and stay together as a coulpe. (she had mentioned moving home before and i said if she did that we were done.) thats is why, she says, she walked in and said "i'm breaking up with you". the next day i was furious and packed up all her things and put them in the hall. when she came to get them she said she was going to say she had made abig mistale and didnt want to move to her moms but when saw what i had done decided to stick to it. this was on sunday, one week ago. the next day we talked and decided to find a different place to live and stay a couple cause she really hate this place i am in now. we have since been looking at different places. she stayed at her moms one night and i tried to call her but no answer. she returned my call at 2 am being very sweet and explaining she fell asleep around 10. i checked her call log and saw she checked her messages at 1230am... odd... one night she was here and her phone rang, she didnt answer, i asked who it was, she says friend "a", later i ask who it was again, she says friend "b".... odd... i ask if i can see the call log, she says she accidentally erased it, she calls friend "b" and she has no idea what my gf is talking about, i then tell her she said it was frind "a" she then says they both called... and she accidentally erased both calls.... odd... she went to her moms today and i talked to her around 2, i then tried to talk to around 6, sent a text... no reply. i called agian... no answer. that was several hours ago. still nothing. i have told her my suspisions and she reassures me i ahve nothing to worry about and she loves me and wants to be with me. am i making something out of nothing or should be worried??? i'll happily answer any questions. one more tid bit.... when i visited her office for the first time my picture was in the drawer. she said it was because her desk was to be cleaned and didt want it damaged.