Jump to content

lgirl

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    295

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by lgirl

  1. lgirl
    why would you want to be with someone who has already told you they can't be faithful???? that's just asking for trouble. think you like him way more than he likes you by the sounds of things. find someone else who can be faithful to you.
  2. lgirl
    hey pete137, was really looking forward to reading this and feeling really happy for you, UNTIL i read this bit: yes, you are bitter!! please don't make such sweeping generalisations about women. you are talking from your own limited experience, it is NOT a fact!! you certainly couldn't include me and the women i know in what you say, which is more than the 3% you don't mention. what about an example of karma to cheer up the 'girls'? i hope my exbf gets a lifetime's worth!!!
  3. lgirl
    well, that's me f***ed then! seems like you just can't win. it's all a load of BS, isn't it? can't see how i'll ever get rid of these feelings. don't know how and DREAD ever getting close to somone again. no wonder i feel so suicidal at times! i hate being here. sorry folks! Wimpy, you're welcome. glad what you read from others' posts has helped you. doesn't seem to affect me at all...
  4. lgirl
    thanks bkjsun, i do know that i have learned stuff b/c of it, but i resent that i had to go thru so much pain and damage to myself (my core), to reach this awareness. screw having this awareness is what is say!! it's done nothing but hurt me. i would have preferred to have learned stuff/grown thru positive experiences. not this. it's so destructive
  5. lgirl
    Wimpy, i feel EXACTLY the same, too damaged to ever want to get close to a guy again - feel like something has been knocked out of me that i don't think i can get back. dread the idea even of being close to a man, even the initial lovey-dovey state turns me right off these days there's NO way i ever want to go thru even a fraction of what happened to me with my ex. but the alternative is too bleak. i have honestly felt suicidal at times b/c of it. feel like i've somehow missed the boat and lack the energy to do anything to change it. think i have been in a heavy depression ever since (getting on for 9months since the break-up now)... sorry - i don't know what the answer is. WISH i did. everything seems so pointless...
  6. lgirl
    mine would be DAMAGED
  7. lgirl
    butterflycloud, it's a nice theory - and one i used to believe in. but in my case, it doesn't take away the disappointment or any of the damage i've been left with thanks to my ex's cruelty. i do not see how being so viciously betrayed helps me to learn anything other than to never to trust another guy again. if it had taught me anything 'good', then maybe i'd believe it more. the only lessons my ex's 'soul' has taught me are that the person you trust the most can be the most treacherous, hurt you the most, and sell you out in a flash; that most people are self-absorbed and selfish, that i made a BIG mistake ever letting anyone get close (won't be doing that again); that nothing lasts, certainy not 'love'... guess that's just me!!
  8. lgirl
    it will make you look REALLY NEEDY AND DESPERATE!!!!!! she is with someone else NOT YOU, so leave her to it and concentrate on getting your own life together.
  9. lgirl
    DON'T SEND THE CARD IF YOU WANT HER TO RESPECT YOU!!!!!!! the reason we are all advising you no to send the card is b/c it won't reflect well on you. we are trying to get you to preserve your dignity. you are not being totally honest - you aren't sending her the card b/c you want to; you are hoping it will make her think well of you. i think you do care what her reaction will be. the fact is, for whatever reason, she DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU - how could she when she's in another r/shp? she couldn't even show you the basic courtesy of wishing you a merry xmas or anything about yr graduation. doesn't that tell you anything? it speaks volumes to me. if you really must, send the card. it will make you look really desperate (which she won't respect). be prepared to hear nothing from her. you need to give her the time and space to miss you, so back off and leave her alone for your own sake.
  10. lgirl
    think you know the answer to this deep down: you're not ready and his dumb- * * * * *, immature habit of 'spinning' stuff on ya is only making you feel more vulnerable. the bottom line is for you to trust someone they're behaviour needs to be consistent. he is sending you mixed messgs and is inconsistent - alternating silence and off-hand comments with OTT behaviour like 'crying all night'. sounds like controlling behaviour and like he wants it all on HIS terms. DROP HIM, he's bad news. he's going to mess you up even more by the sounds of things. okay, DO NOT ask him ever again when you're next seeing him. leave him to come to you. i would be crushed if i heard this from a new guy (like you, i'm less than a year away from getting over the damage my ex caused; can't even imagine getting with someone) you know what? he doesn't want to be hemmed in? i'd tell him fine. laters to that one!! if he's insensitive enough to say that to you in the first place, then you're better off without him. be strong. protect yourself. you've been thru enough grief already and you can do better than him. and, hey, it's not as if you're in a rush, right?
  11. lgirl
    hmmmm, okay. was hoping for a bit more detail - maybe specific instructions as i have been going thru this BS for 9 months now with no improvement (okay, i am eating now and my appetite has finally come back, but that's it)... did yr therapist give you any exercises to do?
  12. lgirl
    butterflycloud, how? using those exact words? i already knew about this (and have done) for a while, so it was good yr post has reminded me about it. however, in my case it's made NO difference to how i feel can't figure out how to make that change. knowing doesn't seem to be enough... think i must have a very stubborn 'lower' mind!!
  13. lgirl
    don't send the card!! let her come to you.sounds like she's only contacting you on her own terms, which isn't very caring. sounds like she's trying to keep you on the back burner in case it doesn't work out with this other guy. she KNOWS you graduated and she KNOWS when xmas is. the fact she hasn't bothered to acknowledge either tells you everything. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. PS why do you want to be 2nd best? b/c that's how she's treating you.
  14. lgirl
    great post butterflycloud!
  15. lgirl
    for 6 hours??!! no wonder she feels you're ignoring her - you ARE!! do you honestly expect her to hang around fro 6hrs while you play yr games? either decide you want to play your games online or decide to see her, you can't do both. if you see yr gf, then she deserves yr full, undivided attention. if you can't give her that b/c you'd rather be online, then don't be surprised when she complains - or leaves you for someone who makes her feel more important!! you need to to get yr priorities straight... (PS it doesn't sound like you're all that into her buddy - how can you keep yr hands off her for 2hrs even, let alone forget she's there while you - can't believe you do this - play GAMES on a computer?). you are in serious danger of losing her - or maybe you don't care? sounds like yr games are more important to you...
  16. lgirl
    it's only been 31/2 weeks - that's nothing!! it's early days still, so give yourself a break. recognise that it could take you months, depending on what yr ex meant/represents to you. hang in there - it will take you a while. there are plenty of people here who can help you. i'm still not over my ex and we broke up last april!! hope you have better luck
  17. lgirl
    thanks you guys - those are VERY helpful tips. think i'm gonna spend more time reading up on stuff. just reading articles on the net and getting advice from this forum has already given me some clarity regarding the issues the bitter break-up triggered - realise after reading that depression site Ms Omaniac, that the 'break-up' (i should call it the 'smash-up'!!) has triggered my 'core wounds' (arrghh) and i can finally see the 2 main wounds/issues that my ex so painfully triggered and that in fact they have plagued me all my life. am hoping that by recognising that fact + trying to resolve them will be the first step in freeing myself (just need to get over the depression first. sheesh). anyhoo, thanks for indirectly helping me get this clarity. i have felt suicidal at times over it.
  18. lgirl
    i had the exact same experience with my EX - and it used to make me feel very guilty that i couldn't match his feelings (i even looked up "in love" in the dictionary, for crying out loud!!) i did come to love him and the sex was always good, but i always felt that 'in love' feeling (that everyone else goes on about) was missing. i thought maybe it was a sign of maturity that i wasn't giddy in love (he was with me, though!!). well, now he's my ex!! i think you should end it b/c from my experience everything will be okay provided you 2 don't run into any stress or problems (eg work, money etc). if you do, you will find yr lack of feelings will not be able to carry you thru and it will be at this point (as happened to me and my ex) that things will fall apart. you might also want to ask yourself honestly whether you are just 'settling' (it sounds like you might be) b/c if you are, then you will run into trouble sooner or later. guaranteed. i hope this isn't the case for you, but i have learned from BITTER experience that it's not good to have disparity in love. one last thing: you have given it 10months already and still nothing. there's your answer!! how much longer are you going to give it? (i got as far as 18months...)
  19. lgirl
    what don't you understand about "FU** OFF!"? what else does she have to say before you get the messg? stop wasting your time. you are bothered b/c you finished with her and now she's found someone else, is all. it's your ego not b/c she's the greatest love of your life. remember the reasons you finished with her in the first place, then get yourself someone better - someone who actually loves you. and work on your self-esteem so you break the pattern of getting with girls who treat you badly. PS i am not surprised she doesn't want to stay friends with you - it's very naive of you to think you could be friends (you lost that option when YOU finished with her). anyway, why would you even want to be friends with someone who speaks to you like that? let her get on with her life without you - you are just making it worse by insisting to contact her. and throw her dvds in the trash where they belong!!
  20. lgirl
    will you pack it in with the Charlotte business!! hahahaha. why you think changing yr gender would make yr life easier i don't know!! in fact, you'd be making yr life harder. how much are they charging for the lobotomy? (is this your last post? surely not!!)
  21. lgirl
    Ms Omaniac - have read thru some of the stuff on that depression site and it was really relevant. how does yr therapist help you? i have thought about getting therapy, but am put off by the fact it's hard to find a good one + i don't want to end up just hearing the sound of my own voice as i list all my 'problems'; feel like it might make me feel worse...
  22. lgirl
    darkpumpkin - if you find out, let me know! i feel the same except i can't see a purpose to life... Ms Omaniac - thank you for posting that site!! i just printed a whole lot of info from it. think dysthymic disorder sounds like the depression i'm suffering with (since the bitter break-up with my ex). anyhoo, fingers crossed it does me some good. thanks again!!
  23. lgirl
    please don't generalise - ONE woman has 'lied' to you; not all women lie. and you should know PLENTY of men lie all the time...
  24. lgirl
    hate to say it, but it sounds like the beginning of the end. ALWAYS pay attention to half-remarks, 'throwaway' comments like that; people reveal their true intentions that way. he's getting ready to leave you by the sounds of things. making passive-aggressive comments like that is a CLEAR SIGN the romance has gone. he knows it would hurt you, so he hurt you. if he was at vall in loove with you, he'd NEVER say something like that. the love (and sensitivity) has definitely gone from where he's standing. get yourself someone else
  25. lgirl
    i admire your attitude newby - i really think it's great you're os positive after the crap you've just been thru. just wish i felt optimistic...
×
×
  • Create New...