jackson5045

thanks for the input i really appreciate it and yes her sister has a huge influence on her they are 8 years apart and her sister is more of a mother figure than a sister fugure, she sort of raised her in a way a couple of friends admire how far i had come in such a short time and i have wondered what it was that got me almost over it in as short a time as i did and the best i can figure is this - there was a reality check point - about 2 weeks after it all happened before i found out she was with this other guy i had sent her a text message trying ti get her to talk to me she sent me a message by mistake that was meant for her new guy - the message was so insulting about me and so uncaring saying that i was stupid and she wished i would leave her alone - maybe it was the reality check that i needed thanks again for your input jack

Wasn't going to post this but I have dispensed enough half assed advice on this sight I think that people have a right to know at least the basics of my story, or the most recent chapter anyway. About 4 years ago I spent a great weekend with a great girl who was at the time a friend. Really more the sister of a good friend, a good female friend. I never pursued it really, was worried about being rejected and having crappy time luck wise with relationships. By the time I worked out I should pursue her she had someone else. Time brought us back around to each other and what started as a renewed friendship turned to love very quickly. We had ups and downs and long distance hassles for a time. She has a terrible history with men, treated badly in ways that few people could imagine and I thought that love could conquer her fears, dull the pain of the past and smooth the future for us both. Her sister, my friend hated us having something independent of her. She is a very jealous and dominating type of person and tried to poison me against my girl from day one. She spent a year trying to turn me against her sister including trying to have sex with me on more than one occasion. She had tried that prior to my being with her sister. I loved this girl so much. Marriage, kids could see it all. The sister, my supposed friend eventually realized her mistake in trying to turn me against my girl. After so long trying to turn me with no affect, she turned her against me. It only took a couple of days too. To this day I still don't know what happened. That was 10 months ago. I have gotten about 90% over it but I am really not sure how. I was so devastated when this happened and the emotional pain made me physically sick for months. I think now that she was my last chance at being with someone in the very long term and I am likely to spend the rest of my life alone. Its not that I couldn't spend my life alone, I just don't want too. Then, and here is the kicker, she set her own sister up with her ex boyfriend of the week before! They ran off happily into the sunset for about 3 or 4 months, my girlfriend and her sisters cast off. We spoke once after that. She told me to never ever contact her again in anyway ever. No reason, no why, her voice was so cold and so uncaring. Then about six months later, after telling me she never ever wants to see me or hear from me again she turns up saying sorry, I have changed, I have made mistakes, and wants to be friends again. She went on about depression and how unhappy she had been and while I feel for her she hurt me so much I cant get past it where she is concerned. I had reached a measure of peace with not knowing what happened after one hell of a lot of torment from the unknown. And I know she doesn't really want to be friends, she wants absolution. Should I grant that absolution? If she wanted to be friends I think be able to do that but what she wants is that technical friendship where all is forgiven but we never see each other or speak. Tried a couple of gestures and we even made plans to see each other as friends but she cancelled twice. The one time I did her when she just showed up as she left she kissed me on the mouth and still calls me babe or baby in text messages. But no she doesn't want to get back together, and I wouldn't anyway. She is a good person, she has just had a terribly hard life and I think I have absorbed more than enough of her pain for her? Now I wish she would just leave me alone. Cant bring myself to say that to her though. What do you think? Will welcome any comments!

hello sash amgoing to post th efull version of my heartbreak today. still working on writing it the temptation in your situation is to believe that he never loved i have been there but thats not true he did love you and although he betrayed you it was once real remember - it was his issue within him not your fault glad your happy now sweeti jack

hello helen helen and i are old friends for benefit of everyone else dont contact him helen i know that it hasnt been long and that it is so temting to call or something but if you do you will regret it and the small amount of healing that you dont even realise you have done in the last month will be washed away besides he is going to call you or text you soon enough about this friendship he wants and at that time you need to tell him how badly he hurt you and how much pain you are in and you have said it yourself that being friends will only prolong that pain and slow getting past this i am sorry sweeti but i think that no contact really is the only real option jack

if your happy - be happy good for you would love you to keep me updated on how things go really best of luck to you

yes tea your absolutely right maybe i am just not as determined or maybe she wasnt or whatever but i am still entitled to my opinion and she could have posted hers disagreeing with me all she liked but she didnt have to aim that opinion at me by name now did she?

eventually you will realise that life experience comes in time and you will look back to the way that you are now thinking that you know everything and realise how wrong you were i am not trying to pooh pooh your happiness you critisised my opinion first you say that love conquers all ! it hasnt conquered the distance has it ? and if hes not twenties or teens ? how old ? if your happy thats great and i dont want to undermine that but again you critisised my opinion first

for PAdreamer with all due respect i might have thought that way at 19 too love money is in the way is it ? pity this great and powerful love of yours cant overcome dollars! you will pardon me if i think that 3 dozen years of life experince out ranks what you did in high school but i have been round the block a time or two and know this world in ways that you cant imagine PA i have had long distance relationships an dso have other people i know the combined years of those relationships are longer than th eamount o ftime you have been alive i imagine that your boyfriend is what 19 to early twenties ? dont worry though i am sure hes not tempted by other women especially being that you have absolutely no shot of catching him cheating even if he did ho wlong have you been in this for PA ? i know people who have done long distance relationships for 5 years ! do you have that in you ?

hello kay i know that things seem terrible now i am sorry you lost your dad but life has so much to bring to you yet dont give up now your father would not want you to give up he woul dwant you to live on and be happy and have the best life that you can the best way to honour hi smemory is to live your life like every monent of everyday counts and getthe most from your time dont give up sweeti - not ever jack

how are ya ? long distance relationships dont work !! for a laundry list of reasons most importantly: if you really really wanted to be together you would be they are appealing cause they are intense everything is amplified when your together and when your apart but they either end or you move to the same place in a reasonable time frame good luck jack

the young lady from japan does have a point i am not that tattoed - both upper arms but when i was in bath houses in germany people wouldnt talk to me ! there was another guy who had alot of tats and they wouldnt talk to him either - turns out he was russian mafia and they thought i was too

hello sexygrl invino veritas - thats latin latin is a long dead language - so this is a very old saying invino veritas means - with wine comes truth ! When we drink the walls we extend to cover our true selves dissolve in a haze of foggy headed euphoria and or depression. And people become who they really are. It might not be that bad though, all men carry a torch for some girl we knew when we were young. Only natural. Doesnt mean that he doesnt love you just means that there are roads untravelled and I am sure you feel that way about someone at some point. If you stay together long enough his thoughts of this girl will eventually go away. Good luck and update us Jack

if you want one just get one is your skin too pretty ? i have big ones on both arms and my only regret is that i didnt think enough about how big i wanted them would have stopped at one if i had got the first one bigger like everything else - dont be scared of it just be sure about it jack

hi i feel for you i do - i really do and to be honest athens is such a crappy city theres it lends itself to arguments two words, commiment issues wouldnt matter who you are or how much he loves he isnt capable of committing some people just cant thats why it took so long for him to say he loves you the fact that he does love you is most likely why he is breaking up with you some people just push anyone away whe they get too close i think he might be on eof them goo dluck jack

hello the temptation to fight ! very very strong urge isnt it unfortunately when you have to fight to keep someone that doesnt want to stay, it is almost always a mistake. I am not trying to deter you, please follow your conscience and I believe you should do all you can, atleast that way you will know that you did all you can. So hell with it, FIGHT. If thats what you want to do then do then do it. Dont surrender and and then atleast if you lose you went down fighting. hope for the best but prepare for the worst. good luck jack

Hello Complicated situation to say the least You cant let go for one simple reason, you havent yet broken up ! I dont have kids and stuff so I cant comment on some of the depths of this and you can certainly feel free to dismiss what I ahve to say and even call me names in the process if you like. The one observation that I can share with you is that it seems indecision is killing both you and your husband and likely the rest of the family too. You need to decide what to do with this. Only then can you move on, whichever way it goes. I understand longing for the golden age of things when they were lovely and wonderful, but - how long ago was that exactly ? It is often the middle ground of life that will do you the most damage. Times when you wait, run in neutral. You need to decide whats the best course of action for you and your daughter. The rest will come in time. Like I said dismiss me if you want, I wont be offended Good luck and keep the updates coming Jack

what to say what to say You are in alot of pain and thats understandable. Its human and loss brings on pain and you have had a loss. It seems to be staying with you in a way that is undesirable. I have a question for you that only you will know the answer to. Does the fact that you have been working together kept hope alive in your heart that you would get back together ? I am betting that it has. I am also betting that being you have changed jobs means that you are only now trying tomove on. If you have held out hope based on that daily contact and only began to give up when he started to see someone else and then you left the job then all the time since the break up is running in neutral time and doesnt contribute to the passing of time. Its obvious that youlove him very deeply and are a very hopeful person by nature but its time to begin moving on and now that you have changed jobs you can move on. Acceptance that someone is gone is the first step to moving on. I think you have only just accepted. It will get better as time goes by. A wise man once said "all things end badly, or they wouldnt end at all" Sorry you rin pain, infact I apologise on behalf of my gender for all the pain ever caused to women by men Time will help you. Friends will ease the pain. Staying focused on life and the small joys will see you through. And when your ready, love will come back. Hopefully in a more considerate form. Take care and good luck Jack

hi you are doing really really well you are making yourlife work and theres very little i can give you in the way of advice your not rushing in your not pining for the ex you checked his refernces you talk stuff out with him your honest your being smart and careful and appear to have found something good in the way of a potential relationship full steam ahead sweeti good for you just stay centered and youll do fine it doesnt sound very rebound like but move at your own pace trust yourself - you seem like you know what your doing congratulations jack

hello the good news: you are feeling exactly how you should be feeling - it hurts cause your human and it should and there would be something wrong if it didnt not the best of good news i know but there will be more later! the bad news: he isnt coming back - sorry but he isnt. time to move on. be hurt. cry, be miserable, be depressed but dont give up it will get better in time (thats the other good news) advice: embrace the small joys of life - it worked for me dont stop living and dont stop loving and world will start to look brighter soon i assure you best of luck and take care sweeti jack

you have a sound plan for your night out and sounds like fairly steady ideals by the sound of it i am somewhat relieved take care jack

hi again you are a worry darlin its good that you are going out with your brothers wife - thats great but please hear this right now you are something of a wounded gentle forest creature that bar on the weekend will be full of wolves they can smell the vulnerable heart of a gentle wounded forest creature your ability to judge good men from bad ones might not be completely reliable at this point if you trust your sister in law listen to her advice on who the good ones and the bad ones are on the night and please please dont rush in the last thing you need now is to get used good to feel loved and wanted but please dont get hurt and please dont get used but do have fun and live life - ok good luck on your night out jack (former wolf)

hello again there are 5 stages to loss denial batgaining anger and i dont know the rest of them cause i never move past anger the rest of it is something about grief anf acceptance hope that gave you a laugh ! that ache will go away the thing that is killing you is the pain of not knowing my last girlfriend who i wanted to marry just up and went no reason no explanation - nothin i thought i was going to die i made myself physically sick with the emotional torment but time does pass and you will heal a tiny little bit everyday. it doesnt seem that way when you measure it day to day but when you measure it month to month you will see that it slowly gets better. if your curious, my ex eventually came back wanting to be friends and crying crap about sorry and lessons learned and all that time i had spent wanting to know why ! when she came back i didnt want to hear it - i had reached a measure of peace with not knowing and had found my way past her and the effect her leaving had on me you will too keep me updated and best ofd luck to you jack

thank you ellies thank you very much just wish i could work out what to do with my own life jack

hi there at work just be professional if you need to run into the bathroom and cry every now and then do it be friendly but not flirty you need to tell him what you want and how you feel you need to tell him that you want to know where you stand and that you have more respect for yourself than to be something he does when he is bored and tell him that you dont want him to pursue you privately outside of work its not going to be easy - atleast not right away but it will get better i promise if worse comes to worse - and that can happen in a whole range of ways there is always other jobs sweeti let me know what happens jack

hi grayblue princess is right he is playing you believe me i was him about 10 years ago life has taught me afew lessons since then and i am not that person anymore some men will see it as a challenge when you say your not just after sex especially if they dont have many other options on the line at that time or if they think your really attractive or would be really good in bed to reiterate - I AM NOT THAT PERSON ANYMORE and glad of it dont trust him if he wont call or maintain contact now imagine how you would feel if you slept with him and he ignores which is what will happen good luck sweeti jack