LittlePea

Hi all, It's been a long time since I've been on here. It's about a year since I broke up with my ex, and its strange to see how much I have changed. Everything seems so much clearer, just as everyone on this site said it would, and I really see how it all worked out. I'm more independent, found good friends, etc. I think I'm finally ready to really think about other people/guys now. I have never really been someone to pursue a guy. I've only dated two guys before, and they have all pursued me, and at both times, I wasn't looking for someone. Now I feel like every time I meet someone that could potentially be a boyfriend and i dont see them again, is it because of me? or is it fate? Just the other day, I met this kid , and he is great. Except I didn't really say too much to him because I am generally pretty shy. Sometimes I wonder if we only get one chance, like because I didn't make a good impression or because I didn't say more, did i lose out on ever seeing him again? If i dont see him again is it because I didn't make a good impression/talk enough, or is it because that is the way things are meant to be? Any thoughts?

Hi, It's been a while since my last post. I broke up with my ex a few months ago, and while I believe that everything happens for a reason...Sometimes I still wonder if I screwed up or if he is still the one. I read this quote, "That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time." I think that I'm a pretty rational person, so I don't think that my wondering if my exboyfriend is the one is because he was my first boyfriend. Everything in that quote is how I felt...how I feel. I feel like he really was the one even despite all our fights. He doesn't call or want any contact (his friends told me,) but at the same time, I feel like I should fight for him. I've always thought that you fight for things that really matter. I'm giving him his time, but the thought still lingers. Any help? (I also wanted to thank you for all those who helped me, and sorry to those that I haven't helped during my time of realization.)

Hi, It's been a while since my last post. I broke up with my ex a few months ago, and while I believe that everything happens for a reason...Sometimes I still wonder if I screwed up or if he is still the one. I read this quote, "That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time." I think that I'm a pretty rational person, so I don't think that my wondering if my exboyfriend is the one is because he was my first boyfriend. Everything in that quote is how I felt...how I feel. I feel like he really was the one even despite all our fights. He doesn't call or want any contact (his friends told me,) but at the same time, I feel like I should fight for him. I've always thought that you fight for things that really matter. I'm giving him his time, but the thought still lingers. Any help? (I also wanted to thank you for all those who helped me, and sorry to those that I haven't helped during my time of realization.)

thanks guys for the advice. I guess the reason I was confused was because I never thought I would be with anyone like that...someone who couldn't just return a simple email! Honestly, I'm not contacting him to just talk to him. I've emailed about five people for the book. Oh well. Thank you again.

Okay, so the school year is slowly approaching. I'm in college. I haven't contaced my ex in 4 weeks, but I am taking a class which I know he has the book for. I've also asked about four other people so I"m not just trying to contact him. I asked him via email if I could borrow his book, and he never got back to me. But I know he checked his email because I get sent an automatic messagewhen the person checks the email. He refuses to email me back. All my other friends sold back their books. The only reason I am writing him is because I would like to save 100 dollars if I can. Why is it so hard for him to write back a short note? Even after he told me he was seeinghis ex girlfriend again, I let him borrow books for an important test that he is taking next year. Why is he being immature and not writing him back. I see him online all the time so its not like he doesn't have time to write!

Okay...I had this whole conversation with someone after my break up. This is my take on it... Maybe my view is different because I see it from a Christian perspective. But even if you aren't Christian, you may be able to understand my view. I believe that there is a plan for all of us. After my ex broke up with me, I was like, Did he screw up the plan?! haha. Well I still believe that there is a plan.I believe that God has a plan already set up for us. He/She knows what is going to happen. That doesn't mean we don't have choices, but God does know what choices we will make. We have free will to make the choices we do, but God also knows what we will do and has a reason for all the experiences we go through. The choice to break up may not be ours, but the experience is something we go through for a reason. We have the choice to learn from our experiences. Life isn't easy. It's a journey. I like to think that there is something bigger our there protecting us...whether its God for me or something else for others. It reassures me because I know that this bigger force isn't trying to hurt me but only help me. I really believe that everything happens for a reason. If I didn't believe this, I don't know what I would do because this single belief has gotten me through many hard times. I believe that if things are meant to be they will happen. And I believe this even after my breakup. Everything happens for a reason, and in its own time. We may not understand it now, but in time it will make sense. Its been four weeks since my break up. For the longest time, I couldn't understand why everything has happened. But I took time to understand myself. And for the first time in a long time, I feel as though I have rediscovered myself. Well that what I believe. Hope it helps.

Hi! I totally understand the feeling! I've had 4 weeks of no contact, and I also think occasionally of those questions: will we end up together? Does it ever happen? But I realized that if things are meant to be they will happen. Everything happens for a reason and that includes the break up. If you think of things always happening for a reason, its kinda of reassuring. Because you begin to realize that everything is a small part of a whole plan and that everything that is happening is to help you grow. When I get down, I think about that. If you and your ex are supposed to be together, you will. Everything works out for the best. Enjoy life (easier said than done ofcourse) and realize that you have a wonderful future ahead of you.

Does moving on mean getting over someone? I know I need to move on, and I know my ex has moved on, but what if I never get over him. Does that mean that I haven't really moved on?

I have tried many times to get answers about why I have felt heartbreak, why my ex has found another girl, etc. It wasn't until I asked my Christian friends that I found peace as corny as it sounds. I believe everything happens for a reason. If I didn't believe this, I dont think I would be able to get through anything. Like many have said, in this forum, God's plan is hard for us to understand . But he does have a special plan for us. During my relationship with my ex, I prayed many times wondering whether or not "he was the one." Even though I have felt the worst pain in my life, this may be God's answer to me. It's probably just the answer that I didn't want to hear. Everything does happen for a reason. We need to be patient. God does take care of us.

Hmmm...two different opinions. How did you guys come up with these views? Previous experience? How do you know if he's moved on or not? I know I shouldn't even think about him anymore...but I can't stop.

well my situation is...my ex was going out with this girl for two years before he met me. She left him for another guy. When we started dating, he told me did not have feelings for her anymore though. She called a lot, came to his house, imed him, but I believed him that he did not have feelings for her anymore. He said that she was his first love, but not his true love. Well, things started getting crazy the last few months, and I told him we needed a break, but that I still loved him. I told him it wasn't fair to him. Anyways, I found out that he has started dating his ex again. He doesn't return my calls or anything like that and told me that he doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. How can someone just suddenly say that? How can someone be so mean? A lot of people have been telling me that he is just hurt, that I should wait for a month until school starts. I love him so much though. People tell me that I deserve better, but I love him. I really want him back because I know that we had something special. I feel like we didn't get the chance to work things out, like I wanted to. I wanted the break to work things out, to not fight anymore, but he is now "serious" with this ex again. I guess I'm just wondering if the thing he has with his ex is real. I know no one can really answer that question. But I was wondering if there are situations where people who go back with ex#1 will go back with ex#2. Aka is there a chance he might go back with me (even though he has gone back with his ex now)? Has this even happened to someone?

Hey, has anyone ever gotten back with their ex after their ex has gone back out with a previous ex? Does that make sense? My ex decided to go out with the girl he went out before me.

There was a similar topic about exes who are mean. A lot of people have told me that maybe my ex is trying to "get over me" or is suppressing feelings of hurt. But he shows no signs of saddness or hurt. See my twist is that my ex is now serious with a girl he was going out before me. Since our breakup, my ex has been extremely mean to melling me that I'm "f-ing pissing me off" when I ask about why he has "fallen out of love with me", how he could date someone so suddenly after me, especially with someone who he said he didn't love anymore. I think I'm asking valid questions. But he doesnt' return any of my phone calls anymore and completely has forgotten about me. Like the other forum, this mean behavior is totally out of his character. Why do you think he is being mean to me? If he is trying to get over me or is hurt, why does he have to go out with her?

Hi. My story is kinda complicated. Sorry its so long. This past May, I told my bf of 2.5 years that we needed a break. We were fighting a lot over stupid things, and I thought it would be better. I still loved him, and he said that he still loved me. I really thought that we would end up together-marriage meaning. Before we went out though, he had dated a girl for 2 years. She had initiated the break by wanting to go out with another guy. While we were dating, she would call him, come to his house, even though she knew we were going out. I was always a little concerned that he still had feelings for her so I asked him about it. He said he didn't-called her a psycho actually. Our relationship was really strong until the last few months. But even then we still loved each other...well i thought. Even though we were on break, we still chatted a little, and in June even went on a sort of date. In Mid June, his grandmother got sick, and he called me as soon as he found out. I would call him to see how he was doing. Things were a little strained though (i.e., he didn't return my phone calls, but I figured he was really stressed.) One day, I came to visit his grandmother in the hospital with him, and after wards, he tried to kiss me. I knew he still cared for me. Anyways, after that, he really stopped returning my phone calls and was really brief on the phone. I thought that maybe something was going on, so I had asked him if he was seeing someone. He got really defensive. He later admitted he was seeing his ex. He said it was nothing. And when I said I loved him, he said he did too. But then the next day, he told me he wasn't sure he had any feelings for me and that he didn't realize that he still had feelings for her. Now he says he doesnt even love me. Anyways, now they are already serious. He tells her he loves her. It's only been three weeks since they've been going out again, only a month and a half since he tried to kiss me. I've been trying to call him. I know the NC thing, but I couldnt do it. I also tried to call him about things I needed that he had, etc. for valid things, not just to talk to him. He didn't return my phone calls even then. He says he doesnt have time to call me but has been hanging out with her a lot though (his sister told me.) I was really confused because in such a short time period so many things have happened. I know it sound cliche, but I really thougth I knew him. He has been really angry with me and now ignores my calls. I never thought he would be like this. He is seriously the nicest guy you ever met. I still love him obviously. I know he didn't do anything wrong really. But I dont understand how he moved on so fast? How do peopel just fall out of love with you? Why do you they go out with their exes again? Why doesn't he return my calls? Is it not possible to be friends atleast? I'm confused.