Manda2113

well guys, its over for me..the waiting, hoping, all of it...it's done. he finally decided he doesnt want to be in a relationship w/ me, and that's it...we wont talk again, wont be friends, we are out of each other's lives for good (i have erased his number from my cell phone, and he will never call me). i prayed and prayed, and it didnt happen, so it must not have been "meant to be." it hurts like hell, all this leading on, and me following along, so its time to focus on myself, and get my emotional state back on track. thank you for everyone's help, i truly wish all of you the best of luck. although its hard to listen to others advice, i really believe after this whole thing that a girl shouldnt have to persue a guy. if two ppl really love each other and want to be in a relationship, it will happen...if you have to work so hard on making it happen, obviously someone isnt there 100 percent, and thats not fair to you. please, dont let someone hurt you...if someone is being a jerk to you, dont go along and end up being a jerk to yourself too...realize that at some point, "enough is enough."

just to modify my last post...i am not seeing him tonight after all...he texted me a lame excuse. i dont understand myself...the more and more he hurts me, the more i ask myself why do i still love this man?

thanks guys...i really need encouraging stories like those at times like these! here's the weird thing satch, he broke up w/ me, and instead of missing me when i give him space, he misses me when we talk, etc. (so much for the "girls are the natural choosers" in this case..)...well, i mite be seeing the ex tonite...wish me luck!!

a lot of you have brought up the question, "do i want him back just to have that feeling back, or just for the satisfaction of 'getting him back'"...i think i honestly love this guy...we were very comfortable around each other (reference: farting...lol mamamaria). its funny, how one person can feel so strongly for someone...it just seems natural that the other person should feel that way too, but obviously that isnt always the case huh? lol

I'm having one of those "down moods"...been 6 weeks, and I've been gradually feeling better (usually when I'm busy...I hate slowing down, like right before bed)...anyhow, just been wonderin....how many of you that have posted here have successfully gotten back together w/ your ex? How long were you broken up for? And, how many ppl have you had relationships w/ that you wanted to marry?

no its not too late...im here b/c i WANT to break the NC, but i know i shouldnt! sorry, but i dont think i can wait a week or two...in fact, we spoke about getting together sometime next week again...so i will eventually need to contact him about that. its just so hard b/c we had started talking again...what a tease.

so its been almost 2 days of NC...do i dare to text him? or wait more?

how have u guys gotten through NC...like wat do u do when you want to contact them? what gets ur mind off it? this is soo tempting since we were finally starting to talk alot...maybe he's just busy since he's at work..and it wasnt something like a question that he HAD to respond to...well im still gunna do NC...if anyone has any good tips to help survive NC lemme know!

My boyfriend and I have been split for 5 weeks now. We had 2 weeks of absolute NC, then we slowly started talking again...we went out on tues, and wed and thurs texted each other back and forth the whole day. Well, I'm thinking I might have got a little too excited...I'm scared he's backing off...can I re-start NC for a couple days now? Is it too late? And how do you know if your ex wants to get back w/ u? One minute he was saying things that made me think he did, but he still seems VERY cautious, as he didnt return my text today. Time for me to lay off I think....any tips/advice? THANKS!

maybe u all will remember my previous post...my bf and i broke up and after 2 weeks of NC, we met up and I gave him a letter b/c i want to get back together...after 5 days, he called me and told me at first that it wouldnt work..but then the more we talked, the more he contradicted that decision- saying he misses me and wishes he could see me...so i asked him if he was sure about his decision and he said no...that he really didnt know what he wanted, and how the feelings were still there for me. after that, we texted a bit, then 2 days later, i asked him if he wanted to get together, and he agreed. we went to a shopping district w/ a pond, got a bite to eat, walked around...then i asked if we should go back to his house and watch tv...he said no b/c he didnt want to do something that would put us in an akward situation, or something that he wants now, but in the morning might regret...and he didnt want to hurt me. i took that as a pretty bad sign...but later he started telling me how im so sweet, such a nice girl, how good i look, how bad he wants to do stuff and he really has to hold back, etc etc. of course, our situation came up too: he says the two things holding him back are 1. he got out of a 3 yr relationship before me not too long ago and has really neglected himself 2. there's an age difference between us...as i am in college, and he's out working...anyhow, when we got to my car, he asked for a hug, and it was so long, and close, and we both were practically shaking...he tried to kiss me, but i stopped him...so i got in my car, but then i got back out and kissed him. i joked around that he should drive safe b/c there were a lot of police out that night (he's a cop)...10 mins later he called laughing that he got pulled over!! then around 1:30, he texted me saying 'thanks for a good night'...he never does that. this guy is so back and forth...what am i supposed to think? do i text him today (i mean, i have a good excuse since he texted me this morning...) any advice is GREATLY appreciated.

HE CALLED LAST NIGHT!! (thats 5 days i waited!!) so i guess ur wondering if it was good or bad...well so am i lol. at first it wasnt going too well, he told me that he didnt think it could work out etc...but then we started talking more and more, and he started sounding more and more like he really didnt feel like it couldnt work out...so i asked him if he was sure that this was what he wanted, and he just kinda whispered, ' i dont know. ' so then he told me how much he misses me and wishes he could see me, and how the feelings are all still there...but then the next min he'd say that while i wait i should try to move on, and well he was just all over the place. it sounded like his 3 main setbacks as to getting back together are: 1. his past 3 yr relationship 2. his job (he said he has these dreams where he's being shot and really thinks something mite happen to him, and he doesnt want me to have to go through that...iunno if thats him being dramatic or a lame excuse lol) 3. inconvenience/my parents (who arent thrilled w/ him now as they see how he's broken my heart, and never cared for me dating a cop to begin w/) but we talked for like an hour just joking and catching up...it felt so good, and i could tell he thought the same thing....wat is this boy thinking? why is he holding back?? he seems like he really wants us to work, but almost forcing himself to make a different decision. anyhow, do you think i should text him while i wait again? i did last time, and it seemed to work out alright...didnt push him away as i see it, besides he's kinda ADD...maybe he needs some texts to remind him and focus him on making a decision! o and also, i told him that evertime he makes me wait, it hurts me more, so while he's making up his mind, he should keep how im feeling in mind...and he told me he really didnt mean to hurt me and he's sorry. ok well...let me know waht you can gather from all this mumble jumble lol

hmm...he didnt call last night, i was assuming he would...he was off yesterday, so he had the whole day to think about it! i guess im REALLY assuming he'll call tonight then (today is his last day off before he goes back to work for the weekend). do you think its a bad sign i didnt get a call last night?

dont feel bad...my boyfriend and i also planned on getting engaged and spending the rest of our lives together...after our breakup, there was NO EFFORT on his part to contact me...a month after our breakup, and 2 weeks of absolute NC, I texted him a few times, and called a few times...rarely did he respond to my texts, we'd talk, he'd get busy and say he'd call me back...and then wouldnt...but i didnt give up...we finally met up the other night, and i think it went fairly well. granted, i wasnt considered controlling... and im beginning to think he's the exception to the NC rule (ie. it works better on him to see that i really care, am trying to make things work, etc.) i really dont think there's a "right" way to go about things...do what you feel is right. when everyone told me not to contact him, i did anyways, and you know what? i think that was best for my situation.

you need to decide how important these issues are to you--if you dont think you can have a successful relationship w/o things changing then i think you really need to tell her exactly what isnt working...if you need to, print out your post...the only way things are going to work out for you two is if you address the issues...especially now- before you go off to college (im assuming you two are going to try to stay together?) at the same time, the things you mentioned are relatively small...do they matter all that much to you? can you see past them for the better of the relationship? as ideal as it is, i dont think relationships are always in balance...someone might have the upper hand from time to time...

thanx foranother for keepin up w/ me...it is appreciated! ill letcha know when he calls!