JynX

Did you want to date him again after the break? What were your reasons for going back to him? Answering those questions might help you. Sometimes after a couple breaks up, too much damage is done and things can never go back to how they were. Thus the "weird" feeling. Maybe whatever you had for him faded in the time of the break. What was the reason for the break? Emotions are tricky things. Once you lose them, they're hard to get back. This might be telling you that you're ready to move onto someone else. To me it just doesnt sound like you're all that excited to be with him. Maybe you should talk to him about this, see his side of things. Other than that, all I can really tell you is if you're not happy with him, why prolong it? So figure out if he makes you happy or not, and go from there. PM me if you want to talk...good luck!

My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago, and I won't lie, it's been hard, considering we've dated for 13 months and had a wonderful relationship. What helps me is going out and keeping busy. He and I still talk occasionally, just to see how we're both doing. The first few times it'll be hard, but after a while, you get used to the idea of him just being a friend figure. In the mean time, don't call him more than once, wait for him to call back. Don't seem desperate. Be casual and friendly to each other. It's the best thing.

There's no good or bad age to start having sex. It's all a matter of personal opinion. For some 15 is a good age, for others it's way too early. It's an opinion. Nothing is set in stone about it. As far as what kind of relationship you should be in goes...me, I'm going to wait until I've been dating a guy for a while (meaning over a year) and if I feel like there's a future. It's all about trust and how comfortable you two are together, really. Personally I'm going to wait until I'm atleast 18 to even think about losing my virginity. My thinking is, what's the point of losing it so early to someone you'll probably never see again now if you can wait a few more years and not hold regrets? Another way to look at it: you know when you're ready to lose it, that's when you don't have to ask this question.

Hey, hang in there. I'm in a somewhat similar situation. My boyfriend and I dated for over a year, and just recently broke up. He's a senior and I'm a sophmore. The whole thing started with me wanting to see what else was out there since he was my only boyfriend, and it ended with him starting to date someone else. Yes it hurts, but I'll tell you what my friends and family have been telling me non stop: you're young and you'll meet someone who's better. My advice is to take this as a learning experience. Appreciate the time you two got to spend together, cherish the memories, learn from mistakes. Don't be afraid to cry over it. Crying is a normal healthy reaction. From experience, crying makes you feel better in the long run. So spend a few days moping around the house and being sad, but also realize, that after those few days are up, you have to move on and pick up your life again. Spend time with friends. Find a hobby that you can enjoy. The less time you spend alone the better. I hope this helps somehow...feel free to talk to me if you need to vent or just to talk. Good luck!

It's nothing to worry about. My mom is a gyenecologist (is that how you spell that?) and when I started my period I had that same problem. It's normal for them to be irregular for about a year or so after you start. And since you're a virgin, there's nothing to worry about. But, I'd give it some time, but if it goes on for too long, I'd talk to a doctor...although I dont think that'd be necessary.

I don't believe in saying you love someone unless you mean it. If she says she loves you and you're unsure of your feelings, I wouldnt say you love her too. If that's the case, you might want to talk to her about that and explain your point of view. As far as worrying about soundling like a fruitloop, don't worry about it. Us girls don't always want our guys to be 100% man of steel. A little bit of emotions is good at times too. Just be yourself. Say whatever comes to mind first. Instinct is almost always better than reason.

What are the stages on getting over someone after a break up? I remember coming accross these on one of the posts a while back, but I seem to have forgotten them, since at the time I didn't have a need for them. Thanks.

Simply beautiful.

Thanks for the replies guys.

I really need something to go by...my boyfriend of over a year and I broke up this week. What is the fastest way to get over him? Everything I've thought of doesn't work. I keep crying at each memory that comes back, at everything I see that reminds me of him. I see him with a different girl, and it kills me inside. I still love him. I miss him. I'm really tired of holding it together during school and breaking down at home.

SkyFire, thank you for this post. Reading what you have written is very helpful to me and what I'm going through right now. Not many people think like you, but more people definetely should. This world would be a much better place. So once again, thanks.

I don't know where to start. I'd appreciate any input you guys might have. I was in a relationship for 13 months with Spencer, but this past week everything seemed to slide downhill really fast. I'm a sophmore and he's a senior. I thougth we'd last for a long time, but the past few weeks I've gotten to thinking and realized that before I'm ready to make a big commitment, such as staying together when he goes to college, I first need to be sure he's the guy. To do that I have to go and see what other people are like. He's my first relationship. He had two years in high school to date around and find out what he wants. Since freshman year I was with him, so I havent had that chance. I guess now I felt like if I dont get that same chance, I'll end up regretting it. After all, high school only happens once, right? It's the time when you find yourself. So I thought, before I can be 100% sure he's the guy, I have to experience something else so I have something to compare to. He has his last relationship to compare me to, but I don't have that, since he's my first relationship. Does that even make sense? Yesterday we talked and decided on taking a break. Now that I have what I thought I needed, I'm turning weak. I miss him. I feel guilty for talking to another guy, with whom I have the chance to do what seems I wanted all along- date and see what another guy is like. So now that I have all of this, I can't help but feel weak and unsure of myself. Everyone keeps saying "do what you think would make you happy" but honestly, I dont know. I guess what I'm feeling is if I do go through with the trying to date another guy, I fear that I might find someone else. Seeing how Spencer was all I've known, that though scares me. So far everyone I've talked to say that this is for teh best, because it's either going to strenghen us, or I'll find someone with whom I'm happier. To give advice is one thing, but when you're on the receiving end, it seems a lot harder to follow through with. Did I do anything right or did I make a mistake?

I don't think it's possible to love two people the same. I'm not talking about loving your friends or family, but the romantic love. My mom told me once when I thought I had this problem "if you think you love them both, chances are you dont love either." I wouldnt avoid the situation. If you have to choose between the two, Ask yourself, when you're sad, who do you think of going to first? Do the same for when you're happy. If both are teh same guy, good job. If not, I'd stay with the guy you go to with sadness...because in life there are more shadows than happiness, and too many people can share happiness with you. In saddness, there arent many wishing to share your burden with you. So when you're sad, who comes to your mind first?

This reminds me of something my boyfriend and I will have to go through after this year. He's a senior. We've been dating for over a year, and I can't imagine how hard it'll be if we have to break up because of college. But, like everyone here already said, try and see if it works. Because who knows, it very well might work out great for you. And if it doesnt work out, atleast you know you tried, right? Best of luck to you!

I believe that once you love someone, you love them. Distance shouldnt matter and it shouldnt change the feelings. In fact, as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. But to answer your question, no, I dont believe you can stop loving someone out of the blue just because they aren't with you. It doesnt sound like love to me.

I'm very sorry to hear about what you're going through. I've never been in your situation before, but I can imagine how hard it must be. After any break up, the first few months are always the hardest. After being in a relationship for 4 years, it probably feels new to all of the sudden be alone. After spending so long with a person they become a part of your life, and now it seems that part dissappeared. Because I can't fully relate to this, I cant give that great of advice. It'll get better with time. I'm not saying it'll be easy, but in time, it'll be easier. Looking through old memories or anything that ties to memories of her is the wrong thing to do right now. If you do that, you'll never get better. For the past 4 years you've been concentrating on the relationship, but now it's time to concentrate on you. Go and do what makes you feel happy. Run, read, write, hang out with friends, take a walk-anything to get you away from being alone. As long as you're doing something, it'll keep you distracted and you won't think about the break up as much. Right now honestly there's not much you can do to ease the pain except be patient. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to PM or instant message me. xxkissth3rainxx

In my experience, people lose sight of what they went into the relationship for, get sidetracked by something else, and simply give up. Giving up is the easy way out, and sadly, most people would rather take that instead of go thorugh some hard times and trying to make things work. I can't fully answer your question on why people behave the way they do, because I am still trying to figure that one out myself. People are probably the greatest mystery this world has ever come accross, because even we dont know why we do some things. Part of our human nature, I suppose. Time also changes feelings. For some couples it makes them stronger, others it tears apart. There really isnt a specific answer you can get on that. Will it ever last without a commitment? No. Well I suppose it could if there is no emotional attatchment and you're just friends with benefits or something along those lines, then sure, it can last for a while. But in any other case, no commitment means no trust...and thats a #1 relationship doom signal.

This is your life. Live it the way YOU want to. I understand that we all want our family's approval and that it makes us feel better about the decisions we've made and yada yada, but come on, don't let them control the decisions you make. If you love this man don't let your family stop you. They'll always have their opinions, but do whats best for you, not them. They might disaprove, yes, but in time they'll get over it.

If you look at it from a religious point of view, it is wrong. But it's your life, live it how you want to. Do whatever makes you happiest. I have bisexual friends and personally I dont mind it at all, it's their choice. I agree with supaman, but like I also said, it's your life, live it how you want to.

My boyfriend and I see each other once or twice a week maybe. We'd like to hang out a lot more, but my parents stand in the way with their rules.

Hey, I know exactly how you feel. This summer I was away from my boyfriend for 3 weeks...so 1 week isnt all that long! It was extra hard and I missed him everyday, but what helped me is keeping myself busy. Fill up your day with things to do so you dont have the time to just sit there and think about the distance between you two. Calling is good too..my guy called me each day, sometimes more than once to jsut talk. So I wouldnt worry so much about it...just think of how great it'll feel when you see him and wrap your arms around him. And like they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder! Goodluck!

I wouldnt get between this guy and his girlfriend. He also doesnt sound like a very loyal boyfriend either. Think about it; do you really want a guy who'll tell the next girl he likes he'll break up with his gf, and that gf is you?

I'm no guy, but I can tell you what my boyfriend does to make me feel loved. He's a complete gentleman. He's considerate of my feelings and listens when I need to talk. He holds my hand; in public or not. When he does he kisses it, and that gives a good feeling. When we're laying around watching a movie, instead of the usual make out things, he sometimes just leans over and kisses my forehead. He sometimes takes the time to write me notes, even though he hates doing it, but knows I like them. I can go on and on. It's true when they say the smallest things are the best. Just simple things like playing with the girls hair or kissing her hand can do wonders in the "feeling loved" department.

As I understand it, you have no business being in this relationship. He obuses you and makes you feel like you're not good enough. Why be with someone like this? You deserve to be treated much better. A healthy relationship makes you feel good from inside out, and it is not the case here. There is better out there for you. The fact that he becomes all lovey-dovey when breaking up is brought up shows he's not wanting to lose you and is willing to change for a short time to keep you with him. But people can't change; they can mask their real selves, but eventually, that mask of pretend cracks and their true colors show once more. If he hasnt changed over a period of 6 years, it seems he wont ever change. In the past I've dated a guy who used the suicide against me, making me feel guilty and responsible for his well being. Boy am I glad I got out of that relationship. He told me he'd kill himself if I left him, but you know what, nearly two ears later, he still calls me periodically and tells me how happy he is with his new gfs. I guess I took that risk when I ended things. Your boyfriend is trying to keep you with him by placing guilt on you, but don't fall for it. Are you going to be happy in a relationship held together by guilt? He may talk about suicide and may be depressed, but dont feel responsible. It's his own choice, you have no control over his actions. The sooner you realize this the sooner you'll get the courage to get out. Most people that talk about suicide won't go through with it, it takes a lot of guts, and from hearing about him, I'd say he doesnt have it, because if he isnt brave enough to let you move on with your life and move on himself, what makes you think he'll be brave enough to end his life? I've been with someone who tried placing the "suicide" guilt on me when I wanted to leave, and he didnt go through it. You just have to be brave and not fall for this guilt he's placing on you. YOU are NOT responsible for what he does with his life. People make their own choices. Do not feel guilty. Look out for your happiness, not his. I'm surprised your mother sides with him. I'm also dissappointed. She is supposed to be there for you, not stand against you. Forget what she or he thinks. Think about you. What would make YOU happy? If it's leaving this unhealthy relationship, then so be it. After all, who'll take care of your needs other than you? In this world, you're all you have...people have only each other to trust. I guess we're all our own best friends in a way. I'm not sure how else I can help, but feel free to PM me. I'd be glad to help.

The age difference is illegal, but then again it depends on your decision. No one can tell you that you cant date him, so it's up to you. Personally I think 6 years is way too much. The most I'd have is 3, maybe 4 years of difference, but thats even stretching it a bit. Your parents would probably come up with atleast 20 reasons why you shouldnt date him... parents, huh? But like I said...it's up to you and him.