JynX

Well said.

Wrong. I thought that for the longest time, but was...should i say, slapped back to reality earlier this year. Most colleges look at your high school grades, and take them into concideration. It's best to take the hardest courses you can handle, colleges give props for that. They'd rather see you make B's in honors classes than A's in regular ones. Besides, the habits you form during high school stay with you in college. If you slack off and breeze through your high school years, do you really think you'll be able to be successfull in college? It is much harder. As far as jobs go, I'm in the same position as you. This year I've been hit pretty hard with college worries, future, etc. The usual. What do you enjoy doing? Which subjects in school do you enjoy the most? What are your talents? Answers to that may be able to point you in a right direction. Don't plan your future thinking "Ok, which job will pay more." You won't be happy with it. Try to find something with good income AND that you're interested in. Well, that's my two cents Goodluck!

Atleast you realize this, and are not like so many of us out here who are still in denial. Props for that one It sounds that maybe you're so used to having him around, that the original exitement of the relationship has dissappeared? And you dont sound like a clingy girlfriend, atleast to me.

This sounds like he's realized he's scared of the potential commitment and now wants to see other people to be sure it's the rigth choice. Maybe he needs to go off and date someone else, to prove to himself you are what he wants. People react differently to the thought of marriage, some are overjoyed, and others get cold feet and run off. It sounds like he chose option B. Maybe all he needs is some time away from you to sort though his feelings, or maybe he's just not ready to make the commitment. Did you talk to him about it, get his side of the story and how he feels about things?

Beautifully written....I really liked your poem. 10/10

Wonderful post!

It sounds like you don't trust him and think he's maybe cheating. Do you have a reason not to? But to answer your question, guys do guy things: watch football, go out to bars, admire each other's cars, talk about the girls in their lives, or simply hang out with each other. I think that just about sums up their weekends, atleast from my experience. Have you asked him what he does? I doubt he'd have a problem letting you know, and you'll feel better about it because you hear it from him.

I grew up around parents who fought frequently. I hated the situation, and I hated how they sometimes put me in positions to choose sides. There isnt anything you can do to make them stop fighting or argueing...what solved my parent's problem is a divorce. I still occasionally get an earful of negative things about one from the other, but I've learned to block it off and accept that it won't change. I'm not by any means suggesting a divorce, but then again like others said it depends on what the arguments are about or how serious they are. Best advice I can give you is stay out and dont put yourself in the middle.

I've always heard the answer as something along these lines: Each one of us unknowingly produces some chemical, and those of the opposite sex with just about the same kind or very similar to it, get attracted to each other. Okay, so if I was a scientist I could have worded that one much better but, that's the best I can do as of right now. But it makes sense, atleast to me. Why is it that your friend can be dating the equivalent of, oh say Orlando Bloom or Josh Hartnett, and they are beyond all words gorgeous, yet you never get that "attraction" to them? In my eyes this attraction between men and women all depends on the chemicals their bodies produce and put out. If that even made any sense....

Theres only one guy that I like at the moment. I don't think I've ever liked more than one guy at the same time as far as the "romantic like" goes.

Love is something that usually happens when you least expect it. It isnt something you can go out one day and find intentionally. Like the posters above me said, first you have to love yourself and be happy with you. Not everyone will love you for that, but there will be the certain few that do, and when you find those people, that, is when you find love.

I talked do my Dad tonight, since he's the more reasonable of the two. He listened to my point of view, and we talked about it in more details than we had the night before. I explained to him all that I've said in my post on here, and he understood me pretty well. Either way he says right now he feels that he isnt comfortable with me dating Steven, seeing how he's a freshman in college. He's atleast willing to get to know him over time, and hopefully have no problem with the age difference by summer. I didn't get much accomplished, but I atleast got him to keep Steven in concideration, unlike the firm 'no' I had to work with earlier. Now I need to get Mom to understand me, which will be a tad more difficult, seeing how she isnt the easiest person to talk to. She's as stubborn as a brick wall sometimes, and it's not easy to get around that... Thanks for the replies everyone, they helped. All in all, I find this site very helpful, so thank you everyone!

I need some help on this one. I'm 16 and the guy I like, Steven, is 18. We met a little while ago, and I'd like to get to know him more. Problem: my parents right away are saying he's too old for me. As of right now they're not willing to even give him a chance. My Mom's reason for saying that is because she thinks that all I want is to have sex. It's the opposite with my Dad, he says Steven only wants sex from me. I understand they're trying to look out for my best interests, but they're being a little unreasonable. I'm a straight A student in school, I'm responsible, I dont sneak out or do any of those usual teenage things. Ive been told by many adults that I have a good head on my shoulders. So you'd think my parents would trust me? Their reason for saying no about Steven is very contradictory. I was in a relationship for 13 months with a guy about the same age as him, and if I really wanted sex as bad as my Mother seems to think I do, wouldnt you think that I'd have done it alraedy? I've had plenty of opportunities, but I said no, because I think I'm too young. I've explained this to my Mom, but she doesnt seem to hear a word I say. I guess I should mention that when I first brought my ex around to them, they said he was too old also, but after a while, they seemed to cave in. Is there any way I can convince them to atleast give Steven a chance? I was thinking maybe invite him over for dinner one night and let them talk, but I doubt my parents would even agree to that at this point. Do you guys have any ideas?

I agree with Gilgamesh. The grass isnt always greener on the other side. I would talk to your boyfriend about this, get your feelings out in the open. Keeping them bottled up inside makes it worse. You guys have been together for a long time, so there has to be trust between you. Talk to him and explain your feelings. He might be able to help you work through it.

No, I don't believe people are capable of changing their nature, atleast not fully. Like you said, things might be different with him for a while, but then once he knows you're back again, it'll most likely start to follow an old pattern. I saw this with my parents. They split up before the divorce, then got back together. My step-dad tried his hardest to change. It worked. For about 3 months. Then he went back to how things used to be, thus why the divorce happened. I'm a little surprised to hear that he's 51 and wants to drink and fool around with his buddies still. From my understanding, that's what the 20's are for. After that people usually settle down into a family. Then again there are those who dont follow that pattern. Another example is my step-dad. He's 58 and has been married twice, both marriages ending somewhat badly, and doesn't have kids of his own. Point being, I don't believe people can change and stay changed for long. But that's my view on it.

Beautiful. Good job!

Interesting post. You bring up some good points, SkyFire. This world would be a whole lot smoother if people took their mistakes and learned from them. However, it would also serve a purpose to look at other people's mistakes, learn from them, and keep yourself from making them. The knowledge is always out there, whether it be from our parents or friends, but most of us, however, chose to be stubborn and ignore the advice of those who've been there, and stumble head first into that same problem, which could have been avoided if we'd only listened and payed more attention in the first place. Then again that's just human nature.

Crushes are harmless. You're young. As long as you don't act on the crush, it's fine. I strongly recommend not acting on it. 13 and 23 is just too big of an age gap. If you were, say, 18, then it'd be a different situation entirely.

Some guys aren't big phone people. Actually, most guys aren't. Girls can stay on the phone for hours jabbering away with each other, but with guys, they're more of the types to jsut say what needs to be said and move on to playing video games or watching football. Since it's long distance, I think maybe you guys should talk on the phone a little less, then when you do talk, talk about each others days and such, that should fill up atleast a good ten minutes. My ex wasn't much of the talkative type on the phone, he rarely tried thinking up subjects we could talk about, so we had some of those silences as well. Nothing wrong with it, people can't change. You either accept and live with it, or you dont. Simple as that.

I was around the same boat as the one you're in a little bit ago, I know how it feels to dream about him and constantly wonder how things could have happened liek they did. What I learned is people arent what we think they are, there are sides of them we don't see until times like these. You say he broke your heart, but if somebody had asked you before this, you would have said he'd never do that. Right? Well I learned that lesson as well. Point being is, he's moving on with someone else, he's happy without you, and all you're doing is holding onto the past and how things used to be. He's obviously not doing that, thus why he's able to move on. Instead of thinking of how wonderful he was, concentrate on the bad traits. I know that's not always easy, but I had to, or else I would have driven myself insane and straight into depression. How long have you guys been broken up? The changing point for me happened when my best friend told me: life's what you make it, and right now you're making yourself misearable by concentrating on the past while he's out there with someone else and having fun...only you can change how you feel, only you can make yourself happy. I hope this helps...I know what you're going through...if you need someone to talk to thats been there feel free to PM me. But just remember, the less time you spend alone the better. Hang out with friends, pick up a hobby or two, read - whatever that occupies your mind. In time, you'll find yourself accepting it, and you'll finally feel at ease. It's a process we all go through at one point or another, the key is to get your mind set in the right place, the rest will come with time.

Yes, it means no contact. Good guess!

Good question...I'm not entirely sure how he and I drifted apart so quickly. But, here's the background information: Spencer and I dated for 13 months. We had a wonderful relationship, we rarely fought, we had fun together, we connected-we were good for each other. He is my first love. And my first heart break. Ironic, isnt it? Our problems started a little over a month ago, when I began getting the curiosity feeling. I'm a sophmore, he's a senior, and seeing how he's my first real relationship, I felt like I needed to see what else was out there before making a full commitment to him. So we took a break. In the process of that break I hung out with a guy, and very soon realized it tore me apart to be with him instead of Spencer. So I told him I had made a mistake. At that point, he said that he's been actually doing alright without me, and was starting to hang out with a new girl. A few days later he started dating her. We were stilll on a break. After that point, it went from a break to a break up. I was the one who asked for it, because I couldnt stand it anymore. I was hurt, badly. I cried constantly, every memory that came to me hurt me, whenever I'd see him with her it felt like a stab to my heart. Don't get me wrong, I wasnt always sitting alone in my room feeling miserable over it. I went out with my friends, I spent time with my family. I was fine around people, it's when I got alone when the saddness seemed to over take me. I've had many sleepless nights, I've lost my appetite. Basically the usual symptoms of a broken heart. That's how I've been for the past month. Yesterday Spencer came over for us to talk some things that have come up. I felt my heart shatter even more, seeing him there, knowing I could do nothing to show my love for him. He told me he still thought about me often, and hurt over it. Now this is where we are...we both love each other, yet we're apart. I dont know how it came to this. I want him back because I know we can be happy together. But, if he's happy with his new girlfriend, I won't interfere. As long as he's happy. Me on the other hand, well you guys get the picture. So that's the basic story. I'm sorry for writing a book...I tend to get into these writing moods....

Is it possible to get over someone you've dated for well over a year, were close to them, loved them...without doing NC? As in, staying in touch with each other every week or so? Or is NC the only way to get over someone?

Dating girls younger than you isnt a big deal. When i was a freshman I dated a Junior. So did a lot of my friends. LIke everyone said, girls mature faster than guys...and just because we like to date older guys doesnt mean we're doing it just to seem cool. I think that people move out of the "i want to be cool so I'll do _____" stage by the time they hit high school. I would hope so anyway. But, find someone that interests you, forget the age difference, enjoy high school.

You can't make someone love you. It's not a feeling you can force, it has to be there on its own. For a relationship to work out, love isnt a requirement, not at our age. So what if she doesnt love you? As long as you guys enjoy each others company and have fun whenever you're together, should it matter? I think love at our age is overrated anyway. We're too young to understand an emotion as complex as love. It only complicates things. Just enjoy the relationship, don't complicate it with love. If the time's right, she'll realize if she loves you or not. I wouldnt push it. LIke I said, it isnt a requirement.