JynX

You can't stop guys from looking at porn. You might as well try and stop a dog from barking or chasing after cars. They're guys; they're visual, so porn is usually a big turn on. I personally don't see anything wrong with them looking at porn...if they want to, why not let them? Don't get offended by it, it doesnt mean he's less interested in you. My boyfriend sometimes looks at porn, and I don't really care. I know he doesnt think less of me after seeing all the usual blonde, blue eyed, big chested women you see in these movies or pictures, so I dont mind it.

Strictly4MyGrind: How old are you? How long have you and this girl been together? I also have to disagree with your way of thinking. You are very determined to keep this relationship together, I'll give you that. But also remember, things may happen in the future that you can't possibly think of right now. People get tired of each other, they meet others who they feel they have a better connection with, and feelings fade away. That's just a start on that long list that I won't go into. Right now you say you'll never split up, but have you thought of how she feels? What if she will want to date someone else that makes her happier in the near future? Will you stop her and stand in her way of happiness? If you truly love her, no, you won't. I have to agree with reflectionlessmirror, this way of thinking is setting you up for a hard fall. Personally I stay away from words like forever, always, and never. All they do is hurt in the end. Well it seems I keep rambling on and on, but my point is this: don't settle just yet. You don't know what else is out there. You don't know what she'll do in the future, like cheating, lying, etc. You say you wont ever split up because there wont be a reason to. I know people who thought the same, and you know what, a few reasons came up that they couldnt stay together through. I'm just saying, be careful of how hard you attatch yourself in this relationship, look out for your best interests.

Most guys love it when girls talk dirty in bed. It's actually a very big turn on. Thats what I hear from my friends and all their stories...I just dont understand why you think its so bad? She's obviously comfortable around you. I know I wouldnt be that open with someone unless I was super comfortable with being around them. I'd take this as a good thing instead of bad.

If you look for love you wont find it. That's what I've noticed. It usually comes when you least expect or want it. I know it did for me.

I think girls do tend to take break ups more seriously. This post reminds me of something my best girl friend is going through right now. She and her boyfriend for over a year recently broke up. I've spent time with them both, so I can see how both are taking it. He's still the same guy he was before the break up, only a little bit more down than usual. He still jokes around with friends and has fun. She, on the other hand, cries constantly and is very down. Each time a memory of their relationship surfaces its back to crying and feeling bad. So I guess in my experience, I'd say girls tend to be the more dramatic ones who cry over a lost relationship, while guys hardly show emotion when they're around people.

Good post! If it was a long term relationship, of course the people will still think about each other. They've spent a long time together, growing, learning, and making memories - all of that doesnt just fade away once there's a break up. I believe even after the person's gone through the healing process with NC and is in a new relationship, maybe a better one, there are still periodic thoughts about their lost partner. I don't believe our ex's ever fade away really. We might just not think of them as often, but they're still there, along with all of our other memories. Failed relationships serve as mentors for us, so unless we forget what we learned, we can't forget the person that taught us. After all, how can you share your life and heart with someone, and forget them?

I think this depends on the person. For some it takes longer to develop a connection and fall in love; for others it's no time at all. I guess it really depends on the people and how well they fit together and get along.

I got into Wicca a few years back, not really into it right now, but feel free to PM me if you have any questions about it...I can try to answer them.

In no divorced or single woman with kids, but I'll take a stab at this. It's really hard to determine exactly why she left. It could be a number of reasons. Maybe she wants to be single and this was an excuse to get away from a relationship. Maybe her feelings really did change and she only feels frienship towards you. However, it sounds more like it had something to do with her kids. It's different for everyone, but most put their kids first. Maybe one of her kids said something to her, as in they werent happy with you or they didnt like you, and she decided to put their wishes above her own?

I think we all feel this way at one point or another. The same things ran through my head two years ago. I felt like I wasnt good at anything and all I really did was go to school. What helped me is getting involved in different things. I took up volleyball and met many new people, including one of my best friends. Plus there are practices after school and summer camps, so I always have something to do. Guitar sounds like a good idea, just keep up with it and don't give up. Before you know it you'll be able to play and maybe start a band or just meet new people with the same interests as you. It could be hard at first, but it's really fun once you get in the swing of things. Just dont get discouraged. You still have a year of school to try and get involved in sports, clubs, or other activities, and after that, college. Lots of new people there.

There's always a chance, no matter how much protection you use. My mom used good protection that seemed fool proof, and yet here I am.

Well I'm no expert, but I'll take a stab at it. To me, high expectations only lead to disappointment. But that depends on who these expectations are of. (That sentence sounds really weird but I can't think of any other way to rephrase it ) If it is someone with whom you are close to, like a family member or a good friend, then high expectations aren't neceserely a bad thing. You know the person well, so you know what they are and arent able to accomplish or live up to. With that said, I believe you can't have high expectations of everyone. Differnet people deserve different levels of expectations. But then again, that's just me and my thinking. I think this phrase is saying that our futures are mainly determined by how we are brought up. In society these days, what seems to be the most important thing to live up to? Usually a good job and a stable life. We're raised hearing stories about people who fail to do so and how worse off they are. When we actually grow up and are on our own, we might get scared of these things we've seen and heard, and sometimes even be afraid of them; always living in fear of the same happening to us. This seems true especially now, with how many businesses are ending and how many people are being let go to either sink or swim in this great ocean we all know as living. Well I hope I somewhat helped with what you were asking...

As many before me have said, get her out of your life and simply mail the money. Even with that, there could be a possibility of her coming back around in time and trying to be all nice and sweet, I've known people like this to do it. Life's hard enough as it is; we don't need people like her to make it harder. My way of thinking is, out of every experience, there's always something to learn. In this case, I'm sure you've gained quite a lot of knowledge. Next time around, you'll know what to look for in a girl and won't make the same mistake twice. So that's the positive out of this whole issue. But then again that's what life is all about - getting knocked down, getting back up, and learning from the mistakes - right? In a few years, or sometime in life, you might run into her again, and see just how miserable she'll probably be. Then you can look back at this, and laugh, knowing that you were the winner. Good luck to you!

What will you gain by paying her back? A short moment of self-satisfaction? It won't make you any better than her. Do you really want that? I understand that you're hurt, but seeking revenge is the wrong way to go. You sound like a very nice and reliable guy. It sounds like she had no respect for you. This girl isnt worth your time. I'm sorry for how much she's hurt you these past 3 years, but you have to get her out of your life. She's with her ex, so let her be. She's made her choice. Now make yours and move on and find someone who can appreciate you. Goodluck...if you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

A while ago my dad told me something along the lines of: trust no one and you wont be hurt, dont expect anything from people and you wont be dissappointed. I found it to be true in most cases. It is hard, however, to not expect something from people close to you. I guess no matter what happens that little expectation will always be there, you know? To me, I have to have some sort of expectations as well, because it's hard not to. Sometimes its a double edged sword; but sometimes taking a risk is necessary to find out how people really are. In my opinion if you dont trust anyone, you become a cold and lifeless soul, and a lonely one.

You have a lot coming for you in relationships, of that I'm pretty sure. The older you get, the more meaningful and special your relationshps will become, and eventually, you'll find a girl whom you'll want to marry, have a family with, and spend your life with. And when that time comes, you'll look back at all this high school relationship drama, and you'll laugh. That's how my Mom is nowadays when we talk about her past relationships, and thats how all of us will be in time.

Personally I think it flows really well, dollyd. There arent any rules ingraved in stone when it comes to writing poems. It's just a way to release feelings. But I'm sure you know that so I'll stop rambling on. Either way, I like what you've written.

Wow. That must have been some night. What I got from this is he must have some feelings for you, otherwise he wouldnt have acted the way he did. What I dont understand is why he's waited this long to tell you. Maybe it's because of Brian being in the picture now and you starting to like him. Before Brian, Tom had nothing to worry about, you were as good as his, right? But now, he probably feels threatened. I guess it's the "you always want what you cant have" concept. I don't like how he sprung the "we're dating now" comment. It shows he's really desperate to keep you to himself. He shouldnt have assumed you'd audtomatically want to date him. This decision should have been made together, not just by him. But you know that already, I'm sure. Tom's had his chance and he lost it. In my opinion, you should try and see if anything can work out with Brian.

I like the way you used the words in this poem. It makes it sound beautiful. Good job!

My boyfriend figured out I was on this site, and he read some of my past posts, some about us. He also read my online journal that I've been keeping for the past year or so. I could tell it maybe bothered him a little that I didnt come and talk to him about some things, but come on, we all have a right to keep some things to ourselves, right? We talked about the things that bothered him, and to tell you the truth, I feel I can be more open with him now. Maybe it's because I saw his reaction to some of the things I didnt talk to him about and understood that he'll be willing to talk about anything that's on my mind. It helped our relationship in a way. So what I'm trying to get at is maybe this is a good thing for you. Maybe things will be better with you and your gf once you guys talk about this. It could bring you guys closer. Good luck!

You're only 16...your whole life is ahead of you! Kiling yourself at such a young age isnt right; actually killing yourself at any age isnt right. Just think of all the things you'd miss out on: getting married, having kids, watch them grow up, building a life of your own...the list goes on and on. I understand sometimes you hit a wall in life and get knocked down, but it's up to you to get back up. Things seem hopeless at times; I've been there...the key is to think of the people that love and care for you and how important you are to them. Don't dissappoint and hurt them by ending your life. Find a way to make yourself happy.

Doesnt mean you have to rub it in, Misery.... Just playing....

I think you should stop trying to look at all the sides to the story and stop asking the "what ifs". It really gets you no where. Instead of always worrying about what she'll say or do, just dont give it so much thought. What's meant to happen will happen, no matter how much time you spend worrying or thinking about it. JyNx

I'm just wondering what you guys think on this...is it possible to make a relationship work once one of you goes off to college and the other is still finishing up high school? It's not a question of trust; but just an overall is it possible to work things out once two people go in separate directions towards building their lives? Thanks! JyNx