danimal77

Benevolent wrote this about me: "I really hope the messages are seeping into your cleanly shaven head. Harsh or not, do you see the overall theme here? You have been described as narcissistic, childish, obsessed, over-analytical, impatient...and the list can go on. These are pretty significant things that are you ought to pay close attention to. Instead you are ignoring it and are more concerned about what tactic to use to win this girl who is giving some pretty obvious signs of not wanting to be with you." You ought to pay close attention as to how much of an BEEEEEEEP you are. Danimal

Hi Satin, Thanks for your insight....Yeah, the thing with the kiss, is that we already did kiss last Saturday night, so it's been taken a step back. She's not sure how she feels about me and I'm starting to understand why, YET, I feel that part of her is captivated by me as much as I am by her... I will not call her for the next few days. He leaves not this Sunday, but the following one...I wouldn't be surprised if she calls me before then though, if I show some restraint at this point...I do want to show her my new brush cut hair do though. I just shaved my head this afternoon...Anyways, she'll have to wait... Thanks again, Danimal

S&D, Once again, you have blown me away with your DEAD ON assessment and for some reason I NEVER feel defensive with you. You don't make me feel bad for being me, which I think is very cool.. Onto what you just said....Okay, so we know that this is what I do/have been doing...Do you think this girl likes me? Her conflict in regards to not being sure how she feels about me, is stemming from this way that I am projecting myself??? Do you have any recommendations for me, so I don't ALWAYS react...Maybe like a coping mechanism... I don't want to f it up with her...She was getting more comfortable with me as the night was progressing, as I saw the transformation in front of my eyes and she even verbalized it and wanted to be closer, HOWEVER, as you mentioned, I upt the ante and she didn't reciprocate and I reacted and reacted and reacted, as I did on Monday/Tuesday.....YET, I saw her again today and it went well, but she is so damn far removed when in my presense now...There is aloof and then there is what she is with me, which feels just plain NOT interested. What do you recommend S&D and everyone else as well? Thanks, Danimal

You see, that's the thing...I did not have such intensity with the other girls I have been dating. This one is not the first girl I have dated since my ex and take into account, my ex and I were on and off for the longest times and at the end, our break ups lasted 1-2 months at a time, so the emotional detachment aspect had already taken effect long ago my friends. When I was dating these other girls recently, I felt nothing at all and felt no need to want to pursue it any further. I question whether this is what this girl feels with me and may not be strong enough to tell me so without fearing she will hurt my feelings, or if she really does like me, but my intensity is scaring the "beep" out of her.... I can't figure out why she wants to continue to see me. I know she is testing my actions/reactions while with her, but where does the term "platonic buddy" fit into all of this???? I do have a question for YOU ALL: When should I place a call to her next to say hi? Should I wait a few days, seeing she is with her Dad and such??? It's not like I am goint to be seeing her before the 10 days are up anyways....Ironically, my Dad is coming to town when hers leaves. My sister is giving birth at that point..... Danimal

DN, I think about her when I am posting on here and when I see her/talk to her, other than that I do have alife, hence me going out tonight with this other girl I recently began talking to who's name is Victoria. I met Millica a week and a half ago and have already seen her 7 times. Isn't it only normal that I am thinking about her? She struck a chord in me my friends, that's all. As I previously mentioned, I have been dating for 2 months now and have gone on at least a dozen different dates with different women and after the date was over I did not think of them ever again...WELL, I tried forgetting about the awful time I had...haha...It was/is different with Millica, even though I feel a bit frustrated with her and she knows/feels it, but the truth is, I have only been REJECTED ONCE in the kissing department, about 4-5 years ago....I'm not into playing games anymore and I just hope that's not what she's doing with me...stringing me along, even though I HIGHLY doubt she is. She is DEFINITELY sensing something in me that every now and then puts her off. I wonder what that is.... Danimal

Muneca, I DON'T want to date other girls. I haven't come on here these last couple of months and recounted all of my horror stories to Enotalone. The only person who personally knows what's been going on is my friend Beec. Other than him, I've kept it to myself. In all honesty, if this girl didn't hold back as much as is doing, I would probably be cancelling tonight on this new girl who I have yet to meet. I have eliminated all the girls who I didn't see a future with from my life and there were many. All I am doing tonight is going for a drink with what seems like a fairly sweet girl who I have been chatting with online and have spoken to over the phone as well. Right now, I do like Millica (yes, that's her name..she's from France) and am up for taking it slow. We just toasted over some water in my apartment before she left. I toasted to taking things slow and she toasted to us just being ourselves... Again, I am seeing this girl tonight purely out of curiosity. I don't know if I will like her. I will see. Millica is not commiting to me just yet, so thereforeeee I am currently allowed to have fun and not necessarily just sleep around. I am not married to anyone just yet, but I will say that once I am in a relationship, I am a trustworthy, devoted and loyal guy, who does NOT cheat, but as long as Millica has mixed feelings about me and is not inaccessible for 10 days, I am still entitled to enjoy myself with the opposite sex and that is not something I was capable of stating only a few months/years ago... Danimal

Hey Muneca, So, things just went surprisingly well I suppose. Just spent another hour and a half with her (and her son)... I headed over there in a hurry you could say (having just woke up prior to her call)...We chilled for a bit on her couch and listened to some music and had a coffee. I'm pretty good with her son (meaning I'm comfortable, right?) I just don't know. She has this very detached aura to her and not sure if she's protecting herself, or if she is just plain not into me.... Anyways, so I finally said I should go and gather up the items that I came over to take...She offered to walk me back to my place with her son in..She came up and stayed for a bit which was nice, but I just get the vibe that she's maybe not into me and that makes me a bit insecure around her to a certain extent...It probably makes me a bit unnatural and try a little too hard. Most women after say the 7th time they see a guy usually show some indicators that they are into them, right?? At one point I commented on her nice eyes in the light and she kind of changed the subject. Not sure if she needs alcohol to get her in the mood???? In any case, I walked her out and kissed her hand and looked directly into her eyes and told her to have fun with her Dad and to take his stuff with a grain of salt. She smiled and kept the gaze...You can tell that her son likes me and she can tell too....Wonder if she is taking stalk of all of that...She said, SO, I guess I'll talk to you soon??? Kind of hinting that she would like to... That was that...thoughts anyone??? In regards to my date tonight, well, that's all it is, a date and I see nothing wrong with that. She has other male friends too, who are even calling her while I am there, so, I will try and get some sleep today and have fun tonight. Yes, I am into her, but am being FORCED to take it slowly, which is a good thing. Something I've never known how to do in a relationship, with my all or nothing type personality. I'm just not sure if her taking it slow really means that I don't see you in that way and don't want to hurt your feelings, or I may see you that way, but am not really sure and so I prefer to hold out until I am more certain??? Danimal

Well, I am heading over there now. She just called me, because I forgot to take the alcohol back home with me, including the mivcrowave she offered me. Her call just now seemed rushed and not at all, well, I had a good time with you last night. It was more like buddy, you need to get this alcohol out of my place before my Dad sees it, not wanting him to think I am an alcoholic.... Not sure if this girl is really into me at all. She seemed happier to hear from that other admirer on the phone when he called then she does from me, and at such an early stage, well, that can't be good. I can't seem to do anything right and I KNOW that it is a continuous test and at times I pass, but then I fail and she is definitely taking a mental note of it.... I am not hearing from her mouth, that she is in to me, or that she likes me, or how much of a good time she had with me. I can tell her all these things, but then comes the inbalance, not knowing if she feels the same way. I just don't know if I have what she is looking for. It's weird, sometimes I do and other times I don't and truthfully, I am just being me... Now I am going over to pick up the stuff and it will be a rushed job in a sense. I don't even know what to do and say for those few minutes in her place othe than take the stuff and leave and tell her to have fun... How can I take away the last 2-3 hours of the night we had (after my attempt at kissing her)....I never encountered these problems in my previous years of dating....She even made mention that she was impressed with the amount of willpower I was exhibiting by just lying there in each others arms without me making a move, until I tried to kiss her that is!!!! She even told me that she wanted to take things slow!!! She is giving me all the signals to follow, yet I am not listening for very long I suppose... Well, I am heading over there right now... Danimal

Hi guys, Okay, so it's 4:15am and I just got in from my evening over at her place. Well, how can I describe it??? Hmmm, intense I guess. Okay for the first 4-5 hours I was very aloof and calm and very funny, or at least she thought so. She seemed to be kind of in herself and I asked her questions about her childhood and she then seemed to warm up to me more when I showed her that I fully understood what she had been through, which lead her to want to bridge that physical gap and cuddle up to me, which prior to, she had beeb very physically detached.... Anyways, at one point, she received a call from one of her admirers and at that point I blew it off...So, when we began to cuddle on the couch, she mentioned that we can either a. both go to our separate beds, or b. lie down on the matress for a while. It was around 1:00am at that point and SO, we cuddled and I exhibited EXTREME restraint, by not making a single move on her, which she even made mention, how I have mastered the art of lying next to a woman and not give into urges I may have. Anyways, we started the nuzzling on each others necks and THEN, I went into kissing her on the mouth and she TURNED AWAY!! SOOOO, of course, I became insecure, seeing I was being rejected and so, I wasn't sure how to act, or know what to think. She pulled back, while I lay there on my back. I was confused, as to what to think. I asked her why she pulled away and even asked her if she wasn't physically into it. She said she was, but wanted to take things slow and didn't want to kiss me. I was insulted, but tried to rationalize this. I asked her stupidly, why then lie down with me and do what we just did?? She then said that maybe she shouldn't have done that. I said no, I don't regret it and was just curious as to how she was feeling. She said she was conflicted and on one hand, she feels chemistry and a connection and on the other hand she doesn't and wants to see how things go down the line. Then she tells me that she would like to be with someone she is fully compatible with and then contradicts herself by saying that she can also see herself being completely alone too.... So, I didn't know what to think. I asked her point blank if she wants to discover more of each other and she said yes and didn't rule out it being more, but if there will be more, it will be down the line and if I want to have someone who is ready for a relationship, then I can go out and find one.... She seemed confused, yet at the same time seemed to know what she wanted/wants and I couldn't help but feel that part of her wants me, while another part of her doesn't and she is in conflict and meanwhile, I am here scratching my head in disbelief and her up in the air type demeanor.. I mean a kiss is a kiss. To her that's taking it to another level???? She wants it to first be really deep before she considers the physcial aspect and quite honestly, the more and longer she holds out and being rejected like I did, makes me feel uncomfortable and honestly like I am wasting my time.... Anyways, unfortunately the first few hours were spent having fun and drinking and talking/laughing/and cuddling and then it ended in this drawn out conversation about where she is at and where she would like to be and I still don't know if or how I fit into all of this, even though she attempted to explain it to me several times. Maybe I am not hearing her?? Anyways, she seemed to be annoyed by me I think. I became to serious towards the end. I mean only after she pulled back??? It threw me off and if there is/was a connection, it feels like she wanted to sever it, or according to her, wanted to build it even further, but if not, then why cuddle and if so, then why not be natural and allow the kiss to come in?? As it stands, her father is coming in from out of town today and will be staying with her for 10 FULL days, upon which time we will not be seeing each other... I want to bridge that gap and not by rushing things, but by being myself and being natural and yes, trying to give her a simple kiss on the mouth, but her not being into that, well, it just leaves me feeling cold...She also mentioned how she feels that she has it in her to be nurturing to me, but not sure if she can feel taken care of with me. I don't know if she wants to allow herself to be. She is so independent, yet at the same time, certain things bring her closer. There is a fickleness in her personality that trows me for a loop and just when I think I am doing well, I get the cold shoulder in a sense. Help!!!!!

Melrich, As they say in Ozzland: "Cheers Mate", right? Okay, so I have the six pack of Chinese Imported beer, a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka and a litre of O.J. (set me back about 40 bucks, but was worth it)... I'm in a great mood! My door is still open with her and tomorrow night I am seeing Victoria... Life is good and thanks for all the support friends during the last 2 and a half days. Danimal

Fantasia, If she only knew that I was on here for 2 days chatting it up with all of you guys!!! ...haha...YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, I wonder how that would look in her eyes!! Anyways, wish me good luck friends (Benelovent included)..BTW, I am not looking for a fling. I had those. I am looking for the real thing. Well, hopefully it is looking for me! Keep it up friends, we are breaking records on this here post!!! I am still astonished at how quickly my post from Tuesday morning/afternoon had turned out into some kind of Monster!!! Danimal

So, I just solidified plans with another girl I've been working for a couple of weeks now . I'm seeing that one tomorrow night! I was such in a good mood from having spoken to this other girl, that it gave me the confidence to call up the one from tonight and ask her if she wants me to bring some Vodka and Orange Juice in addition to the beer. She said sure. I was playing with her, seeing my mood is high right now. I wanted to send that light vibe and knowing that tomorrow night I am set with the other, it will alleviate some of my own built up tension as well. She's calling me later to tell me when to come over... All is well my friends! Peace, Danimal

I agree to with Lady...Not sure about call me if you want to get together (not really my style), but aloof is defintely a good method. Something more like, "so, I'll speak to you later and MAYBE next time we can go to the zoo with your son" and I can leave it at that... Another thing: Last Saturday night she gave me a massage and even told me that massages on STILL in if I would like one. I'm talking about the shirt off and oils and the whole NINE YARDS! However, not sure if this is sexual to her at all, or more so just hedonistically therapeutic in a purely healing way and no other conotations being implied? Should I also appeal to her other interests, such as art, meditation, photography, etc? Should I do some research on these subjects? Dan

Yeah, you're right Gradle...If she says yeah that would be nice and maybe sometime or at some point, should I then say, well, how about Saturday or another day? Is that pressure?

Hey Gradle, I was a breath of fresh air (not a smoker ), but after slipping up, I just feel a bit inadaquite (spelling??), like she's seen my dark side, yet I have not seen hers and hence my much more deliberate attempt at doing the "right" thing now, without just being like I was before...