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ShySoul

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Everything posted by ShySoul

  1. ShySoul
    The harder you search for something the more it seems to elude you. At least that's how it seems to be with love. When you look for the perfect romance you'll usually end up heartbroken and sad when it doesn't come your way. There needs to be a balance. Be active and put yourself out there, but do it for you. Do things you enjoy because you want to have fun. Be proud of yourself and work to be the kind of person you want to be. This allows the opportunity and chance for love to find you. From there you have to take the initiative. Don't make your life dependent on finding someone else but don't avoid the chance of love when it is there. And don't give up hope. Everyone gets sick of waiting and discouraged that they haven't found the one yet. But when that day does come it will be worth all the hurt, all the lonliness, and all the longing to know that the person you've waited for is finally there.
  2. ShySoul
    The lady all the way. Someone who is smart, sweet and classy. A relationship should be about romance and love, what the ladies seem to care about most. Even in the bedroom I'd take a lady's passion over a freak's kinkiness anyday.
  3. ShySoul
    Iori_Yagami, I feel like nobody loves me at times as well. We all have periods where we feel like that. But there are good people in this world, people who care about you and appreciate you. I'm sure your a good person and lots of people like you. If you want to talk I'm here, just send me a PM. Don't worry, things will look better eventually.
  4. ShySoul
    First of all, RELAX. Don't go into this desparate or anxious, thinking this is your one chance at romance. Thinking like that will only make you nervous, unsure of yourself, and more likely to say or do something that hurts your chances. Approach her like you would any other person you want to talk to. Say hi, tell her you've seen her around, and ask her about herself. Ask if she likes her jobs, what her hobbies and interets are, etc. Try to get to know about her and hopefully you'll hit on something you have in common. Just be sure to relax.
  5. ShySoul
    Hey, If her parents just got divorced she may be in need of a friend more than a date, depending on how tough the divorce has been on her. Make sure you are there for her. Try to do something fun with her and show her a good time. She'll probably be really appreciative of it and may take into consideration what a nice guy you are should you eventually decide to tell her you like her. Don't rush into anything, but don't give up either. Good luck.
  6. ShySoul
    If she is still kissing you then you must be doing something right. Obviously she likes kissing you so don't worry. Just relax and enjoy.
  7. ShySoul
    First of all, don't worry about what other people think. As long as you are happy with who you are, that's what is important. Self confidence is something you need to have, not just when it comes to relationships but with life in general. The less you think about other people judging you and the more you think about being proud of yourself, the easier time you will have. Confidence also is an attractive quality to have and will help you be more interesting to girls. If you are concerned with sounding boring then think about your interests and hobby. Is there something special you have in common with this girl that you can talk to her about? If you two share a common interest than that will at least give a starting point for the conversation. You can also just ask simply getting to know you questions like where she is from or if she's traveled someplace interesting. Show her that you are interesting in getting to know her. I wouldn't make fun of her. If she can clearly tell that it's just joking around then I guess it would be okay. But she may also be impressed by someone who is more of a gentleman.
  8. ShySoul
    Hi VeryShyGuy, I agree, ask her to do something casually with you. That fear of hurting the friendship and being unprepared is perfectly natural. But if you don't do something then you risk the friendship fading away anyways and regretting not saying something. That pain is far worse. If you never take the chance then you'll just feel more nervous and unprepared when another girl comes along. You should hang out with her before her trip, spend time together as friends until you can open up more to her. The worse that could happen is that she won't want to be your friend. If that happens then it's her lose for not seeing what a great guy you are. You'll find someone else who will like you and appreciate you. And if she does like then you won't have to worry about it, you'll have someone you can express yourself with, someone who truly cares. But you'll never know unless you try. I know it's hard but it's something you are going to have to do one of these days. The only way that us shy people can overcome our fears is to face them head on. You've found someone who sounds like she cares about you, at least as a friend, and who makes you feel good about yourself. This is a great opportunity that oesn't come around often. You should not pass it up.
  9. ShySoul
    I agree, playing games is a horrible thing to do. It could lead her to trusting you less since she doesn't know where you are coming from. You may just appear to be another guy who will end up hurting her. Instead, be honest with her. Let her know you are there for her if she needs you but don't seem pushy or like your trying to force anything. Basically, be a friend. If she has trouble trusting people then you need to show her that you are trustworthy, someone she can depend on. Playing games will ruin any chance of that. Even if you really like her, you should put her wishes and what's best for her first. Hopefully, she'll see what a nice guy you are and how well you've been treating her. Then, if and when she's ready, you two can be together.
  10. ShySoul
    Just be yourself. Women like someone who is honest and sincere. If you make it a point to be charming then it will probably come off as fake and insincere. Relax, have fun with her, joke around, be playful... if she's intereted things will go from there. And don't try being a jerk. Any good girl worth having a relationship with won't like it. It's always best to stay true to who you are.
  11. ShySoul
    People get too caught up in comparing themselves to others and trying to fit in. What's really important is that we stay true to who we are and try to be the best we can be. At the end of the day, you have to look yourself in the mirror and be able to say "I like myself." We all have a purpose in life. But the thing is that we could fulfill that purpose at any time doing anything. It doesn't have to be big like saving someone's life. It could just be reaching out to someone who is feeling down. Maybe that will help them out and encourage them to do the same thing for another person, starting a chain of love that helps countless numbers of people. Or maybe that person will go on to do something great that benefits mankind, but it was you who inspired him to have faith in himself. The smallest act can change the world and we could be the onee who does it.
  12. ShySoul
    Personality is what matters. Even if you find someone incredibly attractive, if there is no connection and you find there personality lacking you will lose interest fast. There has to be a deeper bond if thing are going to last. I agree, never change yourself for someone else. Always stay true to who you are. When you find the right person they will respect and love you for you. About judgements, I always go with the saying "You can't judge a book by its cover." Our initial impressions of a person may be completely off base. Just because a person looks a certain way doesn't tell us anything about them. We may not be attracted to them physically, but once you get to know the person things can always change. One day you could notice out of the blue the way they smile or something else that draws you to them. Similarly, physically attraction can wear off with time. Really, looks are overated. It's best to not make judgements or at least not let them influence your decisions too much.
  13. ShySoul
    My friend came up with a good explanationof fate. "Life is 49% fate, 51% you. Life presents as with opportunity's but its up to yes to take advantage of the." Fate is basically the things we can't control: what other people think or how they act, the people we encounter, if it will be sunny or rain. But it's up to us to decide how we respond. Some people have a hard life and it seems like fate tells them that they will never amount to anything. But in the end the person decides if he will give up hope or fight to make a better life for himself. That's why stories of people overcoming hardships are so inspirational, they didn't give up even when fate and the world was telling them to. In the end, we make every decision in our life. And the reason to wear a seatbelt is to minimize the damage in case of an accident. Fate may say another car is going to cause an accident but we can respond by increasing our chances of safety in that event.
  14. ShySoul
    What a guy may lack in experience he'll make up for in passion and enthusiasm. If he's a virgin he may be nervous but he'll quickly get into it. And if the two people really care about each other, experience won't matter, they'll enjoy it.
  15. ShySoul

    Need some advice

    ShySoul replied to Dylan's topic in Infidelity

    Your relationship has consisted of both of you cheating and lying numerous times. You admit to using her at the start and in turn she's used you. Sounds like neither one of you are ready for a serious relationship. You should definitely end things with her, keeping a relationship going that has so many issues and a complete absense of trust is only going to cause you both a tremendous amount of stress and pain. The two of you need to both consider what you really want in a relationship, whether you are just looking for a fling or something more. Once you mature, then you can try for a real relationship.
  16. ShySoul
    True beauty comes from within. What makes a girl truly beautiful is the kind of person she is. Is she nice to people? Does she show geniune concern for others? Is she willing to put the needs of others above her own? Is she honest, sincere, and trustworthy? Is she intelligent, able to carry on meaningful conversation? These are the things that make me fall in love with a girl. It's the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection I long for. When you have that kind of connection, the person will appear more physically attractive. You'll notice little things that you hadn't otice before. What people find physically attractive varies so much from person to person. That's why I don't think it's all that important, at least comared to a persons personality and who they are inside.
  17. ShySoul
    Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you really like her and want to go out with her, have a relationship with her. You will feel better if you take the chance and get it off your chest. She may not be interested but at least you'll have tried. If she's not interested then don't be too crushed. You'll meet other girls who you will like just as much and one of them will like you back.
  18. ShySoul
    Is there some moment from your relationship that sticks out in your mind as really special? When did you two really realize you love each other? You can use that to get an idea of what do to. If it's for your 5 year anniversy and you want it to be sentimental, what could be more sentimental then something that represents your relationship. Maybe recreate your first date or some other romantic moment. Maybe make a scrapebook of your time together. Things like that are sweet, sentimental, and he will appreciate it. Something from the heart means more than something from your wallet.
  19. ShySoul
    I agree, you seem to really be down on the world right now. Yes, things are far from perfect. There are people hurting and people dying. War, hunger, prejudice, they all still exist. But that isn't what life is all about. Try to look on the bright side. Look at the people who are volunteering there time to help the less fortunate. Look at all the people on this forum who take the time to help those who are down and depressed. Go to the park and watch children playing, see the innocence and hope they represent for a better world. Go out and volunteer yourself. Instead of complaining about how the world is going to hell, more people need to stand up and fight for change. If you believe things need to improve, find some issue you feel strongly about and work to help it. Make a difference. You said "You can't Win , You can't Lose , You can't break even." Well if you help just one person you are making a difference to them. And making a difference to one person is winning. It is showing that kindness does exist in a world that often seems bleak and hopeless. If we believe that the world is hopeless and give up trying, then we can never win. But if we fight for what we believe in, fight for what is right, then we do win, one small battle at a time.
  20. ShySoul
    You've done the right thing in being a friend and showing her that she doesn't have to choose that path. That's really all you can do. Make sure she knows you are there for her and that she has other options. Recommend places she can go to for help. But in the end she has to make the choice on her own. My brother went through drug problem and it was had for me and everyone else who cares about him. In the end we had to catch him at a time where he knew he wanted to change and take him to a rehab center ourselves. Luckily he was able to overcome his problem. But it was him that had to do it, all we could do was support his efforts and hope for the best. Keep being a friend and hoping for the best, but don't blame yourself if she doesn't listen.
  21. ShySoul
    Don't listen to any advice about waiting a few days before calling since otherwise you look desperate. Call when you think is right. If you had a good time then call her the next day and tell her. She'll be pleased to her from you and flattered that you were thinking about her so soon. Everyone who has said that calling soon makes you seem more interested is right on.
  22. ShySoul
    Dreams take our feelings, emotions, and thoughts and mix them all together in strange ways that often don't make sense. This is probably your insecurities, conscious or unconscious, manifesting themselves. We all worry about being rejected by others and how it will affect us. Your dream may represent this fear. Try to deal with these fears by remembering that people do care about you. You have friends and a girlfriend. About the cutting, if you've only done it once then keep focusing on why you didn't do it again. And don't worry, just because you dream something doesn't mean it will come true. You should hear some of the crazy things I've dreamed about.
  23. ShySoul
    Follow your heart. If you like this guy and could see the two of you in a relationship, go for it. Don't let the opinions of others get in the way of something you want. If you don't feel right about going out with him now, that's okay to. Just make sure to do what you feel is right for you. No one else can tell you what will make you feel happiest.
  24. ShySoul
    I know what your saying. It's a shame that some woman choose that path and a shame that men like it. Sex should be something private and special, not just physical but spiritual. When I look at this world I think about You... eight years old Big blue eyes and a heart of gold When I look at this world I think about You... and I can't help but see That every woman used to be Somebody's little girl... I think about you "I think about you..." Colin Raye
  25. ShySoul
    Do NOT get involved with someone who is already in a relationship, it won't end well. Just be her friend. If her current relationship doesn't work out then she will know that you are there for her. She may end up turning to you afterwards. But if you make a move know you risk ruining her relationship, risk him being upset with you, and risk her feeling guilty or regretting her actions and thus pulling away from you.
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