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georgie77889

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  1. This isn't new. This has been going on for years. I've been trying to keep myself busy and do lots of things to keep myself from being depressed. And it's happened again, but it's different now.. different because I know that I've been like this before and know that whatever I do won't help me, because I'll relapse back into depression again. I can only see the worst in everything. I now look at everyone and look at their problems or why they're sad. A month ago, I'd smile and say "hello", and it wouldn't affect me. My friends are all happy. I've noticed that to them being happy is normal (but then life for them is peachy) . For me, I have to work for it and even when I do get it, I think part of it is fake. I'm jealous that they have it a lot easier with less responsibilities. And I'm surprised that they haven't realized how miserable I've been in the past few weeks. As for school, my grades are slipping and I'm not motivated. I really don't care anymore. But deep down, I know I should because I'm going to college soon. My confidence doesn't even exist. It's so hard to smile and when I do, I can feel that it's fake. My ex has a new gf and he's doing fine while I'm still sulking about it. Even though at the time, I had more things to offer, he didn't and so we split up. He didn't treat me good but I still hope that he'll call because I'm lonely. Meanwhile I feel like I need the attention from other guys to make myself feel wanted or worth something. But when I do receive it, I never feel that great about it. Because they're just players or because they're not my type. I hardly talk to my family because everyone is always working or has to do something, but mainly because I don't want to. And I don't want them to know how I am right now. I'm just not interested in what life has to offer anymore. Everything good passes. I'd like to say the same for all the bad things that have been happening to me lately, but I don't see it happening. I'm so empty inside, I have such a huge void and I guess nothing can fill it unless I fix it. I can't do it by sitting myself down for months and thinking everything through, I know I will only get more down and more critical (about everyone including me) this way. I'm young but I have little energy. And I feel really old, as if everything around me has rubbed off on me and left me miserable. So anyways that's my rant. Thanks for reading. I hope that someone who's been there can help me realize what I can do to get back on the right track...[/i]
  2. My bf and I broke up a few weeks ago. Funny thing is that instead of doing better, I miss him even more now. I don't just go out with anybody, so I'm not seeing anyone else right now. But I'd like to hook up, just to move on, and stop feeling so miserable. I thought that the best thing to do was to be single and wait it out, but this isn't doing me any good. I'm only left wondering about what happened and if he's going to call, etc, etc. I want to go hook up and have some fun, and just forget about everything that happened. It's just that I've never done that before and I'm afraid of feeling "dirty" afterwards. I know that I'm the only one who chooses what's best for me, but does anyone have any insight about this? Any encouragement sounds good ( :
  3. My hair is thin and I don't have a lot of it, and in the fast few weeks, it's been falling out excessively. It comes out in strands now. When I take off my jacket, I'll have spots of it. I really need to look for professional help, because it's getting really serious. I'm using new conditioners and I'm taking hair and nail pills but they don't seem to help. My diet is the same as it was months ago. My friend said it might be from stress but I doubt it because I've always been under stressful sitiuations and this has never happened. I'm wondering if maybe it's from a hormone imbalance or due to a thyroid problem. Anyone have any ideas on what could be causing this, how I can treat it or where to go for further help??
  4. GUYS... what do you prefer the freak or the lady? Does it have to do with how you're feeling at that stage in life? Your age? Your past experiences?
  5. What are the chances of the guy wanting to stay friends after the relationship ended quickly? It probably depends on each guy and on how much he likes you. But in general, I think guys seem to find it hard to be friends with their exes... anyone have any input?
  6. When a guy who you've known for only a little while starts getting touchy with you... what are the signs to look for to see if he's just being affectionate or if he just wants to get some?
  7. I've been told that douching helps... but it's not safe. What can a girl do to make sure she smells good down there?
  8. Yeah, you KNOW that you're not the only one. And when you see the big picture, it logically doesn't make sense because like you said, you seem to have some pretty great things in life. I'm the same way. If you'd look at what I have, you'd say that I'm just like everybody else, and that I should be proud of what I have done. But I'm simply not. I'm negative and a perfectionist. I'm always competetive with myself. And I'm never happy with what I do. When I do mess up, it sits in my gut for days, and I end up feeling so miserable. And then it affects my outlook on everything else. At times, I think the perfectionist trait helps you out, because you always want to make more out of yourself. But most of the time, I think it just hurts us. We end up feeling guilty and not good enough. I think people like us should look at everybody in this world as a whole and realize that we're all meant to CONSTANTLY make mistakes. There's no such things as being perfect... Your mistakes don't make you better or worse than anybody else. We just have to ease down our wrong doings and look at them from the outside, and realize that anybody else could have done the same thing, and have forgotten it in the next two hours, because it really won't matter in 5 years from now. So why do we have to put all this unecessary pressure on ourselves? It's in our attitude, which we have SOME control over. Now, I wish I could just take this advice myself...
  9. I don't know if I'm capable of doing this... I think it will have to be done through trial and error, but I don't know if I can make it that far. Today, when I made a huge mistake, I felt so tense and ashamed that my automatic response was to cut myself. I looked at myself and thought I was immature. I only did it last year for a few months, but I quickly stopped before it got serious. It's amazing how these relapses come back. I guess all I can do for now is hang in... even though I'm craving a quick fix.
  10. I'm so tired of feeling sorry for myself. My pockets aren't filled with money, so I can't attend therapy. I guess I could take medication for depression/anxiety, but I don't know much about it, and/or if it would be right for me. I feel weak all the time. I'm insecure, tense, scared, moody, and miserable. I cry very easily. I'm not sure if it's depression... it's probably because I'm not happy with myself. I want to make something out of myself, but I have no hope or faith in succeeding. I've been thinking and I realized that I'm way too pathetic. I should be happy, I should be greatful for what I have done, for what I have. I've done a lot of things that I should take pride in, but I don't. At times, I try to start out fresh, but at times, my gut turns bad and all those feelings come back. I have no clue if I can help myself out. See, I question if it's depression because this might just be me, trying to figure out this life and what the hell I'm here for. But then, I've always been kind of on the sad side. I want to stop wasting time worrying and feeling sick, I want to be happy and start experiencing things. I'm young... I shouldn't be bringing myself down all the time. And like I said, I've tried, it's been a continuous struggle throughout the last two years or so, and yet, I always fall back. I wonder what the best "medicine" for me is. How can I overcome my sadness and misery?
  11. Recently, guys have been interested in me. But even if they see something interesting in me, I don't. Although there is a lot of things that I should be proud of, I'm not. I just don't feel worthy or happy, in other words, I'm empty. Anyways, I haven't been serious w/ a guy really, but I have always imagined the perfect romance, just like in movies. It's what I always wanted. But now that I'm out there, open to dating, I've realized how hard it is to get what I have dreamed of -- my expectations are that we both can take care of each other, and that everything between us isn't awkward, b/c I've always thought that if a couple has a connection, then things will happen as they should. But that's hard to find. I guess I'm in some what of a trap right now. I'm accustomed to believing that love works out. But I'm still young, and I should just be enjoying dating. The problem is... that it's no fairtytale. It's work. Things will be awkward. You won't be sure of things. You'll need to communicate. You'll get embarrassed and hurt. Logically, I understand these points, but if I was to experience them, I think I would panic. This is all new to me. And even though I'm interested in dating, specifically having a relationship, I wouldn't know what to do. I'm smart but I don't have the experience. And I'm sensitive, and thereforeeee, I get hurt easily. I guess I'm still scared of making mistakes, embarrassing myself towards others... etc, etc, etc... Everybody has to start somewhere... I just don't know if I have the guts to do it yet...
  12. If you've just met him and he's already asking you personal sexual questions, then I don't think he wants a serious relationship...
  13. I'm hoping somebody will read this and reply with some advice. There's nobody I can go to help with this for now... which is why I'm here right now. I have such a tough schedule that I always feel as if I'm doing everything for the sake of it --never for me. I work a lot, and then I go to field hockey practice. I'm always on my feet, and by the end of the night, they hurt like hell. I'm also still in school. I should be having fun at this age, but I have absolutely no extra time to hang out or to even relax. All this has helped to bring down my attitude. I come off a little bitter, almost too tired to talk sometimes. I'm starving for relationships, but then, I could barely keep one... and people get the wrong impression of me. And so I end up feeling badly with regrets. I'm kind and want to go out, but I'm always so tired that I have no energy to even keep a smile. Each night, I fall asleep frustrated and miserable, wondering what good of a life this is. I'm a walking zombie... sometimes I think that I just might drop dead, or never wake up... I don't know if anything can help me. Maybe by working less or giving up a responsibility ... those are the only things I can think of doing, but as of right now, I can't do it. Has anybody been there? I'm sure there is others who can relate... there is always someone.
  14. Yeahh... I've told myself this before. But now I'm just tired of all of it. Anyone else w/ input? #-o
  15. I'm not happy w/ myself, but for the past few years I've tried to push myself further, hoping that things will get better. Once in awhile, things go well. But so often, I find myself relapsing, and miserable. I have my whole life in front of me, but at times, I feel like I could just fall over and give up. I'm tired of living such a boring life-- but this I can't change, I'm still in school and I need to work. What I've always wanted was a wonderful boyfriend. But that's not happening. I know... I've heard it all before, I've even said it myself as advice to others-- you have plenty of time for guys, you'll meet Mr. Right, a guy should not be your number one priority, etc, etc, etc.... I'd need to love myself first to be in a healthy relationship, but I don't even know where to start anymore. I don't know what I'm doing w/ myself anymore. I don't have any energy. I feel like I'm just drifting away. Everything's just passing me by, and it all means nothing. Everything is starting to bring me down even more. When I try to show interest in a guy, I get too shy and just wait for things to happen. Whenever someone else criticizes me, I take it really hard. I do'nt know what to do anymore... I feel like such a waste....
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