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Found 15 results

  1. After lots of problems in my life I am stepping forward slowly , I m gonna be 20 this year and gonna join the army next year hope for the best , my crush is also preparing for getting into medical field , any tips to grow and enjoy life a little 🌟
  2. Hi everyone, I need help with my current situation in life. I need to change my personal life. I love my family very much but I’m feeling held back and it’s stifling. I would like to start learning web development to work on a new platform idea. My problem is I live at home and I’m already 51 years old. I don’t have savings but will find a way to pay for the classes. I don’t even know where to begin explaining. I have many questions but most importantly is do you think it’s too late to start over at my age? I don’t feel confident but I will start over somehow. Please ask me questions and give me your ideas. I would greatly appreciate any of your views. Thank you, Starflowers
  3. Ever since my recent breakup I've been trying to find answers to a lot of things in my life. One of the things that I could never really explain was the fact that at times I have low self esteem and feel down about myself. When I am able take a step back and look at the big picture, I have absolutely no reason at all to do so. I'm pretty good looking, have a lot of friends, and pretty much anything that I have ever put my mind to I have succeeded. The thing that I have realized through all of this "soul searching" is that whenever I do even the smallest thing wrong it drives me crazy and brings me down more than it should. For example, I had a job interview last week. When I step back and look at the whole picture, I know that the interview went great. We sat their and talked for a while and he really seemed to like me. But there was one point during the interview when I kinda stumbled through a question. For the next two or three days all I could think about was how I screwed up everything because I muffed one question out of the many that I was asked. Another example, I played college baseball all the way up to last year when my eligability ran out. There were very few games that I left feeling good about the way that I or my team played. I could have went 3 for 4, but if one of those at bats was a poor one, that is the only thing that would stick out in my mind. I know that my problems are very petty compared to the problems of most of the people in the world, so I'm not looking for any kind of sympathy or anything, just maybe a little advice. Any good books or websites that deal with this subject? I need to learn to be more optimistic about things. It seems that I alway look at things in a negative way.
  4. Anyone ever worked in this field (as an officer of course)? I've done some soul searching on what I wanna be when I "grow up" and I think this is it. Been applying to some police academies. Any advice?
  5. I am back to give another update if anyone cares to read it. Some of the stuff I have to say may make more sense if you read my previous posts. It has been two weeks to the day since my on & off girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. I can honestly say I am feeling a lot better but not good about everything and I will tell you why. I spent the first 1 1/2 weeks beating myself up, saying to myself that everything was my fault and i put her through torture for 8 years. I treated her like crap and that I used her for 8 years. I am starting to realize that I was buying into what she has been telling herself and others in order to disassociate herself from me and make herself feel better about her decision. Don't get me wrong, I know what i did was wrong, I couldn't see it then but I do now, and have for a long time. Everyone has regrets, I have always felt guilty about it and I always will. I take full responsibility. What i am not going to buy into anymore is that times were ALWAYS bad. I am also not going to buy into everything she has to say now because she was the one hiding phone conversation with another guy from me, wanting to move to the same city as him and asking abut people in his life..etc.. I was completely devoted to her for a long time and now she is the one "emotionally cheating". I admitted to things I have done wrong in previous posts. Things that I was not proud of, stuff that disgusts me to this day. I was young and dumb, and had communication issues, mainly with problems in the relationship. I do feel however that we communicated on a much deeper level in regard to ther things than she is letting herself believe. There were times when we did a lot of soul searching together. I do want to stress HAD communication problems. I have been very open and honest with people about a lot of things even when it comes to admitting the dumb things I have done. I have not been holding anything back. I feel like I am finally free after being locked up for 16 years. (we were high school sweethearts for those of you that did not read my previous posts) Not that I think it is any better but I never physically cheated, It was never in my mind to do so. I guess a good way to put it is that I emotionally cheated and she never got over it even though she never mentioned she was still struggling with it until 6 months after SHE picked out her engagement ring!! We had looked over house plans, we had talked about when we wanted to have kids, what part of town we wanted to live in and this was all long before we even went together to look at rings. Can someone really fool themselves that well into thinking they are happy and want a future with you?! I guess what it comes down to is she is making me feel like crap in order to make herself feel better about what she is doing. She has not accepted any responsibility for things that have gone wrong, especially when it comes to letting me by a ring, making me think we have a future, etc.. Some of the reasons she gave were from many years in the past and if she can not let go of some things that happened in the past then we were doomed to have no future. We are both very different people from what we were back then and it sucks that I am payng for mistakes now that I made along time ago. I am sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense to you, Hopefully people can understand where I am coming from and if you think I got what I deserved then tell me, maybe that is what i need to hear. I hope I didn;t bounce around to much for every one lol just kinda writing as it comes to me.
  6. Hi to all out there. My girlfriend of 17 years recently announced that she was unhappy with what we had and that she was moving out. As you can imagine this hit me like a sledgehammer. I didnt see it coming at all, allthough in retrospect I should have. Its so easy to assume when youre in a relationship that everything is rosey. You can get very complacent with each other and take things for granted. This was 2 months ago and Im still in a pretty bad way. I've been as mature as I can with her about the whole thing. She has moved in with her mother for now but says that she will have to find a place of her own soon. I agree that she cant do the soul searching she needs to do unless she is by herself in her own place. This does mean however that we will have to sell our home. I've told her that I cant do this yet as I haven't been able to deal with how I feel. Next she comes round on the day before my birthday and says the classic ' how would you feel if you saw me out for a drink with someone?' I told her that I honestly didn't know how I would react. The problem is that we live in such a small town that NC doesn't really apply. I still love her to bits, she is my soulmate and my reason. I find it hard to hate her and impossible to move on. Any advice would be appreciated.
  7. HEY EVERYONE AT ENOTALONE, HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING? . WHY ARE BREAK UPS SO HARD TO DEAL WITH? EVERYBODY, I HAVE POSTED THE FORUM, "WHY DOES LOVE HUURT SO BADLY? SO I'M NOT A STRANGER TO THIS. "I'M DOING MUCH BETTER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL LAST BECAUSE THIS MONTH WAS OUR MONTH, HIS BIRTHDAY, VALENTINES AND THEN OUR ANNIVERSARY! I AM GOING TO CALL HIM ON HIS BIRTHDAY BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HIM ARE CARE ABOUT HIM BUT WHAT DO I DO ON THE OTHER DAYS? I KNOW IF I DON'T THINK HE WILL CALL THEN I WON'T BE HURT BUT I WILL BE BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT THOSES DAYS ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. I REALLY WANT TO CALL HIM AND ASK HIM WELL IT HAS BEEN TWO MONTHS AND HAVE YOU DECIDED WHETHER OR NOT WE HAVE A FUTURE SOME TIME? BUT I'M SCARED BECAUSE WHAT IF HE SAY NO OR I DON'T KNOW. I WOULD BE STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN WITH THE HEALIN PROCESS. WHY DOES LOVE HURT? WHY I'M TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT AS MUCH BUT,I CAN'T HELP IT MY LOVE IS TOOOOOOOO STRONG TO LET GO RIGHT NOW AND I KNOW THAT IS WHAT I'M SUPPOSE TO DO. I PULLED OUT THE BOX OF THINGS OF US LASTNIGHT AND I JUST STARTED TO CRY BECAUSE I LOVE THAT MAN SO MUCH MORE THAN I REALLY THOUGHT. YOU KNOW THE SAYING "YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL IT'S GONE" YEAH THAT'S HOW I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW. I JUST KEEP PRAYING THAT THE LORD WILL HELP ME AND I STILL PRAY FOR HIM AND EVEN US BECAUSE I REALLY WANT ANOTHER CHANCE WITH THE MAN I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART. JAMES IS A GOOD MAN I JUST THINK HE IS CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. HAS A CONTROLLING MOTHER, TRYING TO WORK ON HIMSELF WITH THE JOB THING AND PERSONALLY. I KNOW HE THINKS ALOT AND I KNOW THAT I HAVE DONE WRONG JUST LIKE HIM BUT HOPEFULLY ONE DAY WHEN WE LEARN ABOUT OURSELVES AND THE RELATIONSHIP WE GET BACK TOGETHER AND MAKE IT LAST FOREVER. THE ISSUES I AM DEALING WITH RIGHT NOW ARE THINGS LIKE BEING CONTROLLING OR TOO CONTROLLING, OVERANALYZING THINGS, NOT ACCPETING JAMES FOR WHO HE IS OR WHAT HE SAYS AND DOES, MY SELF ESTEEM WITH CERTAIN THINGS, FINDING MYSELF. THAT'S A HUGE ONE. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT I WOULD BE SO EMOTIONAL WHEN IT CAME TO THE FEELINGS OF BEING SAD. BUT I AM LEARNING ALOT ABOUT MYSELF DURING THIS SOUL SEARCHING, HEARTBREAKING PROCESS. AND I AM HAVING DREAMS OUT OF THIS WORLD. I ALSO HAVE DREAMS ABOUT THINGS WE WERE GOIN THROUGH AND I HURT ME SO BAD ON HOW I EITHER TREATED HIM OR REACTED BECAUSE OF MY CONTROLLING WAY. I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO GO BACK AND CHANGE THE PAST. I JUST NEED SUPPORT AND ADVICE FROM YOU GUYS YALL HAVE BEEN SO GOOD TO ME IN MY TIME OF NEED. THANKS TAKE CARE AND EMAIL ME ANYTIME I'M HEAR FOR YOU TOO...
  8. The Journey of Her Life There was once a time when she would walk in fear, dark and alone, Her life seemed no longer free, her future no more set in stone. Days appeared long and cold, weeks were ruthless as they took their toll, Yet little by little, her mind inched forward as she pursued a brand new goal. She smiles as she hears the faint murmur of mild morning rain, For a joyous moment it washes away the tears again. Much later the fawn coloured clouds of dusk illuminate the evening sky, With a contented sigh, she realises that another day in her journey has passed by. Where there once was darkness, she now sees an ever glowing light, The parting shadows revealing the colours of a distant rainbow bright, The mirror on her wall reflecting a lasting beauty, still shining delicate and true, As she makes her way outside, her soul searching for blossoming pastures anew. Every day she reads aloud from her book of life, words of promise and love, Occasionally she pauses, her eyes moving reflectively to the ceiling above, For she knows this remarkable story has no ending, Her journey is only just beginning, the wonders of her life still ascending.
  9. After 2 years, I put my foot down (little lies/big lies/hiding things) and I get "We should take a break....I have some soul searching ahead of me and I want it to lead back to you.........it will be you and me or me alone....." Am I the only one that thinks that is BS? I love him very much and I know he loves me, but perhaps he is bored? He needs some excitement? If that's the case, then tell me! Well, I told him this and he said, we just need time to think about things. Am I overreacting or is there a hidden agenda? I am way too beautiful (he knows this) to be single for too long.......and I will meet someone else, and I am afraid it will be too late for him.
  10. My girlfriend who is pregnant had me move out because I wasn't commited to her and she fears I will leave her. I bought a ring a want to propose after a month of some intense soul searching. Should I do this while she still needs space and won't talk to me? My mom thinks I should but I am scared and unsure.
  11. So, yesterday I came out of my latest relationship, almost 6 months. The thing that I'm concerned about is my lack of emotion. Of course I'm having the usual blues but really nothing compared to my past break ups, some of which included hysterical crying and texting. I think I am becoming numb to the cycle I continue to put myself through. Since I was 15 I haven't been able to spend more than probably 6-8 months on my own without having someone to mess around/ be with. Most of my relationships go as follows. We hit it off. Sex around month 1-2. We continue for the next 2-3 months. Sex life is great so much so we spend more time cuddling and in bed then out on dates. Around month 4 things get rocky I find some other girl that I need to worry about but I'm talked out of my worrying. Month 5 I barely get any kind of interaction if I don't plead for it. It ends. I'm having problems with the revolving door relationship cycle I have put myself in. Also I think part of my issue is the sexual side of these relationships. Sex has been a big part of all my relationships. I think even in some cases I have pushed my partner more than they were ready for. Sometimes I feel like sex is my biggest asset in these relationships. I see these issues in myself but I don't know why I can't stop myself. Each time I can sense the pattern but I subject myself to it EVERYTIME. I need some insight on these issues. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Is there some kind of plan I need to make for myself to break these habits?
  12. Hi all, It’s my first time posting on this site and hoping to get some advice. I’ve been in a relationship for the past 16 months with an incredible woman, but our relationship has come to an end now because our lives are headed in two different directions. The long and short of it is that she wants to have a baby, and I already have 2 boys (7 and 5) from a previous marriage and don’t want any more. We both love each other and neither of us wanted the relationship to end, but it’s a pretty fundamental issue to not be aligned on. After many talks, soul searching, and desperate but fruitless attempts to find a way forward that would work for us both, I broke up with her this past Thursday. I’ve written (and re-written and re-written) her a letter trying to share my thoughts and feelings about our relationship, but I don’t know if I should send it. We’ve had no contact since breaking up and generally I believe this would be her preference. I don’t want to make things harder for her by giving her the letter, but at the same time maybe she would want to know these things. Please let me know what you guys think. Thanks in advance, ASE
  13. After doing some soul searching after breaking up with my boyfriend last week, I realized I'm not really a big talker. I've been thinking that that's maybe why he wasn't feeling it, because we didn't have great long talks. But then when I casually observed my day to day interactions with friends and family, I have realized that I'm just not a big talker, period. I went with a couple friends for an overnight trip yesterday and I really had a blast. But I didn't talk much. In the car, I prefer looking out the window and just thinking. That's not to say I'm ALWAYS quiet. I'm quite outgoing and can be quite talkative, but usually it's just kidding around having a good time. I can be having a great conversation, but I'll be eager to end it. On one hand, I feel like I'm boring, on the other, it's who I am, it doesn't mean I'm not interested or mad, or whatever. Is this something I should work on for my next relationship(s), or is it ok to be more quiet?
  14. From the beginning... About two years ago I met the most wonderful girl I've ever known and about a week after we met she asked me to move in with her. The last 6 months or so, I'd been really down about my life situation (career, etc.) and I'd been really unhappy. She put up with my crappy attitude for longer than she should have and about two weeks ago she moved out. Without making it too long, let's just say I've done some serious soul searching and gotten myself into counselling and am already feeling way better about my life. So, anyway, without really expecting a positive response, yesterday I asked her to go out to dinner with me. To my surprise she accepted. I was kind of worried about it being a pity date or something to that affect. But during dinner everything was fine. There was no pity or "old friend" vibe and she never any uncomfortable time. Feeling a little bold, I asked her if she wanted to go see a movie and, surprise, she said yes. On the way back to her place, on the radio we heard a commercial for a concert next week and I asked her if she wanted to go and, yet again, she accepted. So, is it false hope or might there actually be a chance? I know it'll take a while, but I'm willing to give it plenty of time and build back up slowly. What do you all think?
  15. Recently I've been alone alot & it's getting me extremely depressed, more & more as the days go by. I'm soul searching & trying to find out who I am & what's my purpose here on earth.I've been reading various books about my zodiac sign,history books & basically trying to find something to interest me & get me out of this slump.The problem is, nothing seems to grab my interests & basically it seems like I'm floating.No one seems to be interested in me & I can't seem to relate to anyone around me.. Makes me feel like an alien compared to everyone else. In social settings, I find myself isolated from everyone.... No one seems to talk to me or when I try talking to someone, it's almost like I'm not there or a brick wall is in the way. I'm finding life very meaningless & boring because I can't seem to be happy or have fun.I'll probably be single & alone for the rest of my life because, no one is interested in a relationship or even a solid friendship anymore as it seems. I'm feeling bitter for the hurt I felt all of my life... I've been teased & betrayed alot in my life & I'm only 19.. it's made me bitter I suppose.Too shy & too scared to grow a backbone.. In the past, I let people walk over me... I know you're probably thinking like get over it.. but I wish it was that easier.Everyday is a blank.. I'm tired alot & recently I've been getting migraine headaches, don't know if that relates or means anything. Usually happens when I think too much or I feel frustrated. I serve no purpose in this world I feel like... Seriously, I wouldn't mind dying today. I'm not saying I'm killing myself but it wouldn't phase me if I were to die right now.This world is so messed up, I'm tired of living in it!!So mch hatred & corruption over nothing! I'm spending alot of time on the internet alot, it seems it's the only way to the outside world & I find myself browsing forums alot. Just summing that up, It's basically frustrating not knowing what I want in life & nothing is coming. I wonder if there is a god. I pray & pray but nothing happens! I felt like venting, I do it so much on this forum.. people most get tired.. Or maybe god is trying to tell me something but I'm missing it altogether??
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