ShySoul

Sure, this life is short. That's all the more reason to make each and everyday we are fortunate enough to be alive the best it can possible be. Why worry about something that is hopefully a long distance away and something we honestly know nothing about. None of us will know for sure what happens after death until we die. So why not focus on what we do know, our life today? I just don't see the point in being so concerned about an afterlife when there is so much to enjoy, experience, and do now. I'll worry about death when it gets here and as long as I've lived a good life then I have nothing to be concerned about.

I'm not a party person either. Actually, a couple weeks ago I went with some people I knew as they went to bars and got drunk. It was my first time in a bar and I hated every minute of it. I think just talking or hanging out doing something like bowling is fun, there's no need for parties. There is a slim chance you'll find someone nice and genuine at a party. Odds are these people are not the kind of people you sound like you want to meet. I agree, enjoy the friendships you already have. If you really want to meet new people, join a club or organization that deals with something your interested in. The people you meet will clearly have an interest in something other than partying and it will be an interest you share. Alot of people are fake and superficial, especially those who always have to be partying. Don't change yourself or do something you don't enjoy doing. Odds are you'll end up as miserable as I was. From your posts you seem like a great person, don't try to be something your not.

In that case, you've got even more to look forward to then I thought. But the same idea applies to any graduation. Since everyone is going separate ways there is a tendency to look fondly at the times together. Some people you may never hear from again. But the real friends will stay in touch and you'll meet new friends as well. Your life will change alot over the next few years, enjoy yourself.

ilse, A hypocrite isn't someone who judges. It is someone who claims to do one thing and then does it themselves. Someone who claims that drugs are bad and then does drugs themselves is being a hypocrite, regardless of religion. What makes it troubling for Christians or any other religion is that they claim to be doing what God wants and then turn around and do the opposite. It's like they are lying to and betraying God. But someone who judges another person is not a hypocrite. In fact, we all judge others. Even by saying that other people shouldn't be judging someone, you are judging that person as worthy of not being judged. Tenn, since you obviously feel guilty about what you've done then you have a good reason to stop. You made some bad choices but that is perfectly normal, everyone does. The important thing is that you've realized your mistakes and are tyring to change. Anyone who puts you done because of is being rude and you shouldn't listen to them. I know it's hard, thats why drugs are addictive. It feels good when you are doing it but only causes trouble the rest of the time. I haven't felt this personally but I did watch my brother go through it. He told me that it is not an easy process to go through and you have to constantly struggle. But he overcame it and I know you can too.

Does it matter what happens when we leave earth? Or is what is truly important what happens on earth, during our live and after? The real salvation of my life is not going to be being with God. It is going to be the fact that I made a difference in people's lives and helped make this world a better place. Everyone is entitled to there own belief in what happens after death. But no matter what you believe the same basic idea applies, do good now while you are on earth. If God does welcome me than thats great. If some other version of the afterlife is correct, or there is no afterlife, then at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I did good in the world. By focusing on our actions today we focus on the things that unite everyone and don't risk letting religious or philosophical differences come between us. And does God pick us up or do we pick ourself up? Does God give us the strength or does the strength come from our own will and determination?Do people just say that God gave them the strength because they are afraid to admit they had the power to overcome there problems all along but failed to do so?

But I don't see how God is that savior. As I said, we make every decision in our lives and so what happens is completely in humanity's hands. Why wait for God to save us and welcome us to heaven when we can just make heaven on earth? Why not just save ourselves from any kind of pain, hurt, or evil by building a just, peaceful world? Using the analogy of God being like a parent and us as children, every good parent I know whats their children to not only do well, but to do better than they did. It would seem like Gods ultimate plan would be for us to become just like him or even succeed him (if thats possible). And as I've stated previously, God would be humble enough to not care if we acknowledge her as a savior, as long as we are being good people.

Switch187, Thanks, that is exactly how I feel. I think that to many people get caught up in doing things because of what they will get out of it, and whats a better reward then eternal happiness in heaven? Then they only do things for that reward. My philosphy is to just remove God and religion from the equation and focus on being a good person and helping others because my heart and soul lets me know I should. Fighting the good fight just because you can.

If these people are truly friends then you will keep in touch. Also, when you graduate it can be highly emotional for alot of people. They make a big deal out of every little thing and person they knew. But time will tell how many people meant the things they said and wrote or how many did it because the were emotional. Graduating can make you sad about leaving your high school years but you have so much more to look forward to. High isn't the best years of your life, those years are yet to come. And your real friends will always be there.

Call me crazy, but I'm a guy who isn't interested in sex. At least not until I'm married. Sex isn't just physical, its emotional and spiritual. It shouldn't be a carnal instinct that we do with someone because we "have needs." It should be saved for someone truly special, someone who we share a special bond with. It's the most intimate act you can share with someone, a blending of not just two bodies, but of two souls. At least, that's how I feel it should be. I'd be careful. Besides the obvious danger of STD's there is the danger of getting emotionally hurt. When you share youself in that way with some, and do so repeatedly, it would be natural for feelings to develop. If those feelings aren't returned then it could leave you devastated.

I agree that God shows us the way and wants us to do what is right and be the best people we can be. She wouldn't approve of 9/11 or anything of the kind which is why the very thought of a "holy war" is distrubing. I also agree that we are not robots programmed to do God's will. But I've never fully understood the notion that God is our savior. It sounds nice and gives us something to look forward to and believe in. I don't have a problem with anyone who thinks that way. I just like to keep an open mind and consider all possibilities. Honestly, none of us knows what happens after death so I figure we'll find out when we get there. No matter what it doesn't change how we should act here and now. Maybe God will save me, in which case I should be a good person. Maybe I could be reincarnated to a higher form, in which case I should be a good person to ensure it happens. Maybe there is nothing in which case I should make this world the best place it can be.No matter what we should do the right thing and help others. My other thought about God saving us is that it places too much emphasise on doing something because it will lead us to God. I feel that if I do something good for people, without ever considering if its something God would want me to do, then my action is purer. I'm doing it because I want to do it and I believe in acting that way for no other reason than it is the right thing to do. My goal isn't to be saved its simply to help others. Someone mentioned that the goal of Christianity is to be Christ-like. Helping others soley because you can is as Christ-like as it gets. And thanks everyone for a great discussion. I love philosophical discussions like these.

That's why I don't like alcohol either. Somehow it has become the socially accepted drug that everyone assumes is alright. Maybe because it takes more alcohol to mess you up then other drugs? But alcohol can be just as dangerous in the wrong hands. I've seen alcoholics who have let alcohol mess up there lives. And I've seen alcohol weaken peoples will so that they do other drugs. Alcohol is just as dangerous.

But if God gave us free will then that means EVERY decision we make is up to us, both good and bad. It would make no sense for God to give us free will if we were just supposd to use it to turn our lives over to him and do what he wants (as i've heard some people claim). That isn't true free will. God isn't to blame when we make mistakes. But God also isn't responsible when we make a good choice. We are the one's responsibile for every decision in our lives. We are the agents of our own salvation. You can ask yourself what God or Jesus would want you do to, but ultimately you are the one who does it.

Drugs are harmful and can ruin people's life. It doesn't matter if the person is Christian. If someone is turning to alcohol and drugs then it is probably because they are unhappy about something in there lives are using that as an escape. There is nothing wrong with judging them, its how you judge them thats the problem. If you judge them to be vile creatures who will rot in hell, then thats wrong. But if you judge them as good people who have made mistakes and you only want to help them, there is nothing wrong with that. These people do need help and each of us should be there to offer that help. I have a big problem with hypocrites. I've seen far too many people who hide behind Christianity or another religion and claim to be rightous but turn around and do very mean, rude and destructive things. They bring a bad name to there religion. I think the feel bad about themselves and turn to the drugs as an escape. Then they feel bad about the drugs and turn to the religion to make themselves feel better about themselves. But they never address the real problems and turn back to the drugs. This starts a cycle. They spend so much time trying to escape the issues and feel better that they never address what is really wrong.

I know just how you feel. All the things you listed I feel too. It's hard when you don't have somebody special, someone to hold and to love. You wonder if you'll ever have someone to care about you, to understand you like no one else ever has. It's lonely and depressing. But you have to have hope. Hope will carry you through the roughest times. And when that day finally comes when you do find love you won't care about all the hurt or lonliness you felt. If anything the waiting will make the love all that much sweeter. You'll cherish the love so much more. You never know what the future holds. You never know when love will find you. It could happen at any moment with any person. But first you need to be happy with yourself. Don't think about finding love, let love find you. It will happen when its right. And it could happen at any minute. Don't give up. "But keep on lookin' 'cause maybe who you're lookin' for is... Somebody in the next car Somebody on the morning train Somebody in the coffee shop That you walk right by everyday Somebody that you look at But never really see Somewhere out there is somebody" "Somebody" - Reba McEntire

Thanks Howtocope, I agree that the bible is just a blueprint. Its a guide, not the absolute word. Afterall, doesn't it say "an eye for an eye?" But like Ghandi said, that would just leave the world blind. You could point out the turn the other cheek saying but why the seeming contradiction? And the fact that there has been so many versions throughout the years and that it was translated from Latin(?) leaves room from errors or changes. I still agree with the basic teachings, just don't believe in alot of the details or specifics that some people seem to insist are completely true. I thought of another question. Why would God want us to worship him anyways? From what I was taught Jesus was a very humble person. He was born in a barn, was the son of a carpenter, and associated with lepers and outcasts. I would assume God would be the same way. It doesn't make since that a being that humble would expect people to worship him. I actually think God would prefer it if we went out and helped people instead of singing about his glory. Think about it. I believe my aunts church has about 90 people a week and I know the church I used to go to was a lot bigger. If those 90 people spent an hour each Sunday volunteering that would be 90 hours of help a week for some worthwhile charity that could benefit a lot of people. When given the choice, I believe God would want us to be out in the world doing good, not singing hymns or taking bread.

Okay, I've got a questions: 1. Why is it necessary to follow God, pray to him etc., if we are already being good people and helping others? I try to be a good person at all times. I'll go out of my way to help others and be nice to people. I do alot of volunteer work and I'm the community service officier for a group I'm a part of. Really, I'm happiest when I am doing something for others. I'm fair and don't unfairly judge others. I always take the time to get to know someone and hear there side of the story before I form an opinion. I wouldn't lie, cheat, steal, do physical or emotionaly harm to others, etc. Sure I'm not perfect, but I try my hardest to be a good person, the best I can be. But I don't believe in reading the bible, going to church or praying to God. Don't actions speak louder then words? Why spend an hour in church praying when I could be spending that hour volunteering and helping the less fortunate? Why would God allow me to go to hell just because I don't worship him as my savior when I'm doing everything he would want me to do anyways? What would be the Christian response to that? So you know I was raised Catholic but I've grown to believe that you shouldn't just follow one religion. I've looked at various religions and have come up with the same basic themes that run through them all. Love, faith, respect, doing whats right, helping others, being kind and generous... the same things are common to almost all religions. If we focus on these things then it would be easier for people to get along and the world would be a more peaceful place. Instead people get to caught up in details and saying there religion is right, the rest are sinners who will go to hell. So I think as long as we are nice and help others, thats what really matters.

You can add me too the list of people uncomfortable in groups and quiet around people I don't know. It takes me awhile to warm up to people, and even then I'm cautious and won't reveal too much about myself. I also get asked why I'm so quiet and the answer I always give is "that's just the way I am." Most people just don't understand what its like to be shy and how difficult talking to people can be. What makes it even harder is that I don't have many of the same interests as most people so it can be hard to add to the conversation.

She is wrestling with her feelings. On one hand she's always been taught to live a certain way with strict standards. She doesn't want to disappoint her family or her heritage. On the other hand, she does like you and really gets along with you. She's torn between her feelings and desires and her family's wishes. Its a tough position to be in. You need to be her friend and let her know you support whatever decision she makes. Tell her to follow her heart and do what she feels is best for her. She's the one that's going to be in these relationships and she needs to do what makes her happy. In the end it should be her decision, and hers alone. By not pressuring her you will be showing that you a friend and wants what is best for her. Hopefully your friendliness and openness will impress her and she chooses to act on her feelings for you. It sounds like she isn't happy with that culture and wants to break free, she's just having a hard time doing it.

Good post. Learning to forgive is a difficult thing but it's necessary if we want to build better relationships and a better life after the bad things we may experience. All too often people hold grudges and this only prevents them from moving on with life. Mistakes are made and wrong things are done. But if we focus on them too much then we get get stuck in the past and aren't able to move forward. We worry and stress of it and miss out on other opportunities that are presented to us. Forgiving can put your mind at ease and help you lead a happier, less stressful life. You should forgive, but don't forget. Use what happened as a learning experience so that whatever happened doesn't repeat itself in the future.

Your a hopeless romantic. There's nothing wrong with it I'm one myself. In fact, I wish there were more helpless romantics in this world. Love and romance are wonderful things. Out of curiosity, what was the song? Country has a lot of good love songs and I'm wondering which one it is. I probably like it too.

Sounds just like you really like her. I've had dreams of girls I've liked and they've been some of the best dreams I've ever had. Its perfectly natural and nothing to worry about. But if your dreaming about her than maybe its a sign you want to take the risk. Try talking to her more and really getting to know her. See what could hapen.

Here's proof that people don't really pay attention to who the posts are coming from. This is from almost two years ago and someone who only posted once. Yet people still posted like it was new. Not saying anythings wrong with the advice, I agree that eye contact is a big sign. But I just find it funny how a two year old post gets treated like its new.

You should be basing your worth on who you are, not on if you have a boyfriend. Being in a relationship isn't the most important thing in the universe. There is more to life than that. Instead of wishing you had a boyfriend, why not look at this as an opportunity to explore new things and take up new interests? Your young and there is a world of opportunities out there just waiting for you. If you take your mind off of boys then love will probably find you when you least expect it and it will be that much sweeter when it happens. But focusing on it so much will just drive you crazy. I know not being in a relationship can get depressing, but only when your constantly thinking about. Think about the person who you are and all the great qualities you have, do the things you like to do, and just enjoy being free and unattached.

Sorry if I offended you. True, I don't know much about the Taiwanese culture. And there are a lot of backwards cultures in this world who do things I don't approve of at all. I can get how you are feeling and don't fault you for being upset. I just think that often times people hold onto resentments and grudges for so long that it only prevents the process of healing and making peace. How can we every get to a truly peaceful world if people aren't willing to work through there problems? And its not fair to those few who are different to be looked down at just because of the views of others in their race. I've been judged unfaily just based off things like age or race, it doesn't make you feel could to be judged without the person every trying to get to know you. I don't mean to be judging you or criticizing you, I just wanted to point out a different point of view and give you something to think about.

Dude, Dean Cain played Clark Kent a few years ago in "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman." I think being compared to Superman is a pretty nice compliment. The reason you get depressed is because its human nature to want companionship. Everyone wants somebody special that they can be with. People want someone who will be there for them when they are down and who they can share happy moments with. We want someone who will understand us, who we share a special bond with. When you see everyone else having this you begin to question why you can't have it too. You know you are not a bad guy, so what's the problem? Really, there is no problem. It will happen when it is suppose to happen. Just have patience and believe in yourself. Eventually you'll meet someone who will be perfect for you and the waiting and lonliness will be a distant memory. I think you need to find a balance. Don't necessarily give up but don't be so worried about finding love. You can still dream and wish you were with a girl, but don't let the desire consume you until you're depressed. Focus on doing the things you like to do. Get your own life in order first. And continue to be a nice guy. Girls will eventually wake up and see that in you. They will know that as a nice guy you will treat them right. This will make you more appealing to girls, at least the ones I think you'd be interested in.