ShySoul
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Everything posted by ShySoul
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Don't worry about what the proper etiquette is or what they will think of you. Always stay true to you and do what you know is best for you. If you want to wait until you are certain the relationship will be long-term, then wait. If they don't understand that, then it's their lost. You should never feel like you need to sleep with someone or you will lose them. Anyone is is worth it and who truly cares about you will respect your wishes. I would especially be careful about the one who says "all guys cheat." That's not true. There are guys who will respect your wishes and wait until you are ready. It sounds like he is pressuring you into something you are not ready to do. You need to think about how you feel about these guys. Sex in the proper setting is a wonderful thing. But if you are doing it because you don't want to lose someone, then you are not doing it for the right reasons. You'll only end up regretting it later. Personally, I would be more attracted to someone who is willing to wait. Not only does it match with my personal believes but it shows that the woman knows what she wants and is willing to stand up for herself. A true gentleman waits until the woman is ready and doesn't pressure her. If you did do it, it wouldn't make you a bad person. But if you think you would feel guilty after, then don't do it. Follow your heart, it knows what is best for you.
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If shes in love with the old guy, then there's your answer. Always follow your heart. I understand that someone new can be exciting and a rush, but if you love the old person then that love will survive and flourish while the thrill of a new guy wears off. The only problem I see is the cheating, but if both are willing to work through the issue, then it doesn't have to be a problem.
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Don't bother to try and classify girls. Everyone has a different personality and different interests. Don't worry about finding a girl that's like you, let it happen when it does. Keep doing the things that you like to do and meeting people in general. Sooner or later some girl will come along. Plenty of girls like Star Wars. Plenty of girls play golf. And I'm sure there are a few girls who play those games as well. I know how it feels to have different interests than most people and how it can feel to not find a girl who likes the same things, but it will happen. Just do the things you enjoy doing and have fun with it. Talk to people and get to know them. You'll find someone who you have things in common with.
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The thing is, you don't know if God's listening. You don't know that she will hear you and help you out. That's where faith comes in. Some people choose to have faith in God and believe it. Others don't. You honestly can't tell for certain. But if you believe it to be true, then you can make it true. It's the power of positive thought. I think prayer is not so much about God guiding us as it is about believing in and feeling some sort of relationship with God. The same with going to church or reading a bible. It allows us to feel that one-on-one relationship and helps us to believe that God is there for us. When we feel that connection, then we tend to have more confidence that things will go well. Just that extra bit of confidence can motivate us to go out and make the best of whatever situation we are in.
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Listen to your heart. Do you like guy #1 enough to wait until he's ready? Or are you willing to see someone else in the meantime? You need to do what is best for you. Do you think that the relationship with guy #1 is going anywhere or are you guestioning it after 5 months? Do you really feel comfortable dating two people at once? How well do you know guy #2? Sorry for asking more questions then giving answers, but you really need to think about what it is you want. Then go for it. Personally, I think guy #1 is the better choice as he is the kind of guy you could settle down with and have a long serious relationship. Problem is, he seems to be afraid of making a commitment. If your heart is really into making it work with him, have a nice heartfelt discussion about how each other feels and try to work something out. But keep in mind that it isn't fair to make you wait for ever. If you don't think that it's something you can deal with, you may want to choose guy #2. Interesting that you like two totally opposite kinds of guys. Have you considered that maybe who you really want is someone in the middle?
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Hey. He is insecure and doesn't have much confidence in himself. You are doing everything right, it will just take time for him to adjust to the relationship and become comfortable. When you are around him, make sure he knows how much you like him. Smile, laugh, joke around. Compliment him and tell him what a great guy he is. Let him know how much the relationship means to you. The more fun he sees you are having and the more it seems like he's making you happy, the more comfortable he will be. He will begin to see that you really do like him and that he has nothing to worry about. His confidence will slowly but surely pick up.
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dragongirl, Have you ever thought of writing a book on this stuff? I'll help spread the word. Not only would it be a bestseller but couples everywhere would be in your debt. Forget all those other sex therapists, I think you've found your calling. So, are you sure you don't want to fly out here? I'll pay.
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Good for you for deciding to do wha makes you happy. I do think that having a prom date is playing a role, that "added pressure" you mentioned, when it shouldn't be. But if you really do like this girl then you should see how things turn out. You don't know what will happen. It could turn out to be a horrible mistake or it could be a romance made in heaven. But you don't know unless you try. If you think that you could try and work things out with her and really like her, then ask her out.
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i have nowhere to go
ShySoul replied to in_the_mirror's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
Ok, I think I get it now. For a second I thought you were saying that you missed him and that you'd do anything to have him back. Then I noticed the "yeah right" at the end. I love sarcasm. As for how you are feeling, things will be ok. I take it that he was jealous, mean, and controlling? You deserve better than that. It may hurt now but in time you'll see that you are better off without him. You are a good person and will find someone that will treat you right. This jerk is the one is is missing out on someone as amazing as you. Cheer up, smile. Things will get better. -
I'm thinking that it's societies old fashioned idea that the guy has to be the one to initiate a relationship. Guys and girls fall into the trap of thinking that they have certain set roles. The guy has to be the one who goes out and makes it happens. thereforeeee they complain that they can't GET girls. On the other hand, girls are taught that they are suppose to make the relationship work and thereforeeee complain that they can't KEEP a guy. In reality, these roles don't exist. Girls initate relationships and complain about not getting guys. Guys complain that they can't keep girls. Relationships are far more complex and you can't make such a broad generalization. Here's a thought, maybe the problem lies in the very notion of getting and keeping someone. A relationship isn't something to pursue and "get." I think it should be something that happens naturally as two people get to know each other and begin to have feelings for each other. If you try to actively "get" a relationship then you will feel discouraged if things don't work out. But if you don't worry about it and just let things happen as they happen, then you won't be as frustrated or upset. Let it take you by surprise. Likewise, don't feel like you need to work on "keeping" the relationship. Focus on enjoying it, being together, and doing things that make each other feel happy. If you do these things the relationship should work out. And if it doesn't, don't view as you failing to keep a relationship. Instead, view as if the relationship just wasn't meant to be.
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Yeah, if she has a boyfriend then you have to respect that and can't ask her out. Keep talking to her and being her friend. Should she break up with her boyfriend some day, she may realize what a good friend you have been and begin to notice you. But until their relationship ends, you unfortunately have to wait your turn.
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Relax, you don't have to have the best grades to succeed in life. My brother didn't do the best in high school despite the fact that he's one of the smartest people I know. He took classes at city college and eventually ended up with a pretty good job and is doing alright for himself. Even if you don't get into the finest universities there are still plenty of options. Go to junior college, build up the grades and then transfer to another college. Also, keep in mind that the life you have in mind now my not be what you really end up wanting. Sure, it's easy to say you want mega bucks, a great car, and the girl. But if you drive yourself crazy to get there, is it worth it? Plenty of people work hard to get high paying jobs so that they can afford anything they want, only to end up feeling miserable. They end up hating there jobs and loathing every minute of it. What's more important is to find something that you really enjoy doing. It's better to make a modest income and be happy in what you do then to be rich and miserable. And I have to say this. Keep in mind that our president was a "c" student in college. You don't necessarily have to be the brightest student to succeed.
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Please, you don't have to agree with what someone says but you should have the courtesy to show more respect. Didn't you ever learn the expression "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." iamwhoiam, that was a nice message you posted. I am sure that it affected alot of people and touched them deeply.
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Just build up the nerve and ask her. She'll either agree, which is what you want, or politely decline. If she declines then don't make a big deal out of it, it simply wasn't meant to be. But you'll never know unless you ask. Never look at yourself as "out of her league." You are a good person who deserves someone wonderful. If the two of you get along and have things in common, why wouldn't she go out with you? Don't be afraid to go after a relationship because you think you aren't good enough for the person. That's just closing yourself off to new possibilites and doesn't help your self-esteem. Have more confidence in yourself. And being shy shouldn't matter. Just be who you are and she should like you for you.
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Maybe she's embarrassed about the way she acted? She was drunk and offered to make out with you, not something most people would be proud of in the light of day. Perhaps she isn't sure how to act around you now, figuring that she made a fool out of herself and that you won't like her now because of how you acted. Be friendly to her and try to talk to her when you can. Don't make out like the night was a really big deal, not anything to be embarrassed about. If she feels like you are okay with what happened, she will be more likely to open up again. And again, you did the right thing by not taking advantage of the situation.
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He's the jealous kind and lets that jealously get the best of him. If he's grabbing your throat then you should be very careful around him. Even if he hasn't hit you yet, he sounds like he has it in him and could do it someday soon. And even if he doesn't hurt you physically, it's not good to go through that kind of emotional damage. I know you must really care about him and want to stay with him, but it isn't worth it if he is going to treat you like that. Even if he is a great guy most of the time, if he treats you like that even once, he's not worth it. You deserve better and need to have the strength and courage to move on. As for why some guys do that, I honestly can't understand it myself. He probably has a lot of insecurities about himself and is afraid that you'll lose you if you see them. So he gets jealous of you talking to other guys, afraid that you'll like them instead. But that's no excuse to be a jerk or grab you. No girl should be treated like that and I can't comprehend why a guy would do that. I think you should get out of the relationship. There are better guys out there who will always treat you right.
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Well, anything involving religion is up to debate. Some people believe that God answers prayers, others don't. It's a matter of personal belief and opinion. Personally, I think there is no harm but it doesn't do much good either. Like Jetta said about the test, you can pray for something but you still have to put in the effort yourself. Some people get caught up in the idea that if they pray then God will automatically help them out. But I've always held that God helps those that help themselves. That's not to say there is anything wrong with prayer. Praying is not about God doing something for us. If you expect that God is going to answer your prayers and make everything better, you are missing the point. Praying is about giving yourself confidence that things will be ok. It is about feeling better about the situation. It is about feeling like there is a connection between you and God. And in my opinion, the prayers that God would respond to the most are prayers for other people, not yourself. Really, it's a matter of personal belief. Listen to your heart and it will tell you what is right for you. There is no right or wrong way to practice religion. As long as you are trying to be a good person and do the right thing, that's what matters.
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Your situation is perfectly normal. Often times family and friends think they know what is best for us and push us into doing things we don't want to do. This can especially be true of parents. They raise us and want us to live the best life we can possibly live. But often they get so wrapped up in their own hopes and dreams for us that they fail to notice how we are really feeling. Generally this is out of love and concern for your well being. Sometimes it may also come from their desire to see you do the things they always wanted to do themselves, sort of like they are living through you. It's a trap that many parents find themselves falling into. Don't feel bad about wanting to please your family. It's also perfectly normal to want their acceptance, approval, and love. But you also need to realize that you are your own person and have to life your own live. You need to do what makes you happy, not what pleases everyone else. If you don't then you will grow to dislike life and build up feelings of resentment. Take a good long look at yourself. What are the things you enjoy doing? What do you see yourself doing a few years from now? Focus on who you are, what you believe in and what your values are. Have a talk with your parents. Tell them that you are your own person, almost an adult and need to make your own choices. Tell them that you feel like they are pressuring you to be someone you are not and that its making you feel bad. Try to have a reasonable talk and work things out. You should see that they love you no matter what and they should understand that you have to be who you are, they can't control that. Good luck.
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Yes, take a break, a nice long break. When you try to study to hard it can actually end up hurting you in the end. Try taking one block of time on the weekend where studying is not permitted. Do anything else but study. I liked to take Friday after school and just forget about work for the rest of the evening, figuring that I'd earned it after a long tough week at school. Then on the weekends I'd study often but would allow myself long breaks if I was starting to feel tired of something. I also went to a very very tough and competitive school and ended up getting really good grades. The trick is to not overload yourself with studying and allow yourself time to take a breather. That free time will help you relax, let you retain more information, and get better grades. Plus, you won't be as stressed out and that can play a big role in how you feel physically.
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You are right in that we should be trying to do something productive and make the most out of our time. But mr sad is right in saying that what's productive can be a matter of opinion. I've never been big on physical things. I'll take long walks occasionally but don't have any interest in hitting a gym or riding a bike. I'm more of a mental and emotional person. I do spend time watching TV, but it depends on what someone is watching. Are people watching mind numbing reality shows or movies that's only purpose seems to be to show random acts of sex and/or violence? Are or people watching something that could be educational like the History Channel? For me it's science fiction which always deals with complex moral and ethical issues. So I don't feel like I'm wasting my time as I am learning new things and stretching my mind to think about new things. And yes, you are a little young to be worried about when you die. But still, when we die what will matter is what out lives stood for. Did we waste it away doing nothing or did we try to be the best person we could be. We will be remembered by someone, but that isn't even the point. What matters is that we tried to do the right thing, simply because it was the right thing.
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Well, I'm a guy and I wouldn't think that asking someone in for a cup of coffee is an invitation to sleep with the person. Now if you excused yourself, slipped into your underwear, and came out in a seductive pose, that would be a different matter. Seriously, two people can sit down and have a nice conversation without it leading to the bedroom. Horomones don't have to have that much control over us. Go by how you feel about the situation. If you think that either you or him be want to give into the temptation, then don't chance it and meet at the venue or don't ask him in. But if you feel safe about the situation and know that you'll respect each other's space, I see nothing wrong with inviting him in.
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It's the little things that people say or do that show how much they care. Don't be concerned with some grand gesture that shows how much you care about her, do those extra little things that make her feel special. Most of it should come naturally. Be nice and considerate to her, open doors for hers, give her your jacket of she's cold. Really listen to what she has to say and if possible bring it up again later. Like, if she is really nervous about a test then reassure that she will do fine, offer to help her study, and afterwards ask her about it and tell her that you are sure she aced it. Take an interest in what she likes. Don't be too pushy or demanding. Also, make she she knows how much you care. Give compliments but don't overdo it. Smile and respect her. Really, just treat her like you would want to be treated, with love and respect. And while the little things show that you truly care, it doesn't hurt every now and then do to something extra special for her. Give flowers for no reason other then because you thought she would like them. Get tickets for her favorite singer if he comes to town. Leave a silly but cute note for her saying you like spending time with her. Don't overdo it, but in the right amount things like that can be really special.
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cyber friend dont know how i feel
ShySoul replied to aelynnryelis of greensky's topic in Dating Advice
Ok, since no one has responded I'll take a shot at helping you out. Honestly, you are both young and the chances of this working out are not that good. You are 15 and still learning about what love is. That's not to say things can't work out, just that there are alot of things that could get in your way. One is the distance. Are you going to be able to see each other in person? Would either of you be allowed to go and visit the other? And if you meet in person, are you sure that you would get along as well as you do online? Again, I'm not saying that things can't work out, just that it would be difficult. I would suggest you keep talking to him online like you are. Get to know each other better and wait a few months down the road. Take the time to sort out your feelings. If you both still like each other in a few months, have a talk about where things are going. See if your parents would approve and what they have to say. Give things time and if you still feel this way in a few months, then worry about it. -
Hey DragonGirl724, if your looking for a warm climate, how does sunny California sound? And I'm free if you are, but I prefer dinner and a movie first. Really, some guy is going to be real lucky to have you.
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harveywallbanger, Nope, your not wrong. Trust is one of, if not the most important aspects in a relationship. If you don't think you can trust the person then there will be nothing but problems and the relationship won't last long. So yes, trust is very important.
