iamwhoiam

i've heard that about swimming before too... swimming has so many benefits and would probably also be better for my knee, which is aggravated by running. it's low impact, yet you're still getting the cardio. the only problem, i don't see myself in the pool...it's just not my thing. i remember getting water up my nose and chlorine in my contacts...oh yeah, and my hair turned this ugly rust color-haha. you mentioned your asthma went away...did you ever use an inhaler before then?

i've had asthma (diagnosed by a doctor) for at least the last 6 years. i've always exercised, usually running and weighlifting. however, within the past year or so i've noticed my asthma getting worse when i work out. it used to only get aggravated in the winter and during allergy (ragweed) season. it never affected me during my workouts. but now when i run at the gym, i seem to have more difficulty breathing and catching my breath than before. i could see if i had just started exercising and my body was adjusting, but that's not the case. i also realize this is something i have to deal with and so forth, but i'm hoping there are some ways to make it easier. sometimes i get so out of breath, i have to completely stop, so i'munable to get in a full run. anyone else have asthma? how does it affect your workouts? any advice or ideas? thanks!

well, i'm glad to hear that you're going to the doctor...it's always good to get regular checkups regardless. stress can definitely make you sick. i recall one school year in which i had a lot of behavior problems (i'm a teacher). i was so tired and stressed all the time...i ended up with bronchitis several times that year. i was a mess! as for breakups, i had a particularly bad one and didn't eat for nearly a week, lost a few pounds and ended up with acid reflux! my entire system was a wreck. so, to answer your question, YES, stress can weaken your immune system and trigger illness. take care of yourself!

has he called you?

i was one of those girls-a LATE BLOOMER. in fact, i didn't have my first orgasm until college, and that was by accident-LOL. after having read an article in cosmo about orgasms and showerheads, i tried it... it said to breathe deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth...think "EBB...FLOW...EBB...FLOW" like ocean waves. i know it sounds completely absurb, but once i focused on the consistent pattern of my breathing, i was able to relax...the water was shooting down on my vagina, clit, etc., and BANG! it happened. after that i was hooked... since then i have purchased a vibrator too. i doubt they sell them at wal mart or target. are there any sex shops in your city? you might have to look online for one, if you don't want it mailed to your house. otherwise most companies (i.e. adam and eve) will discreetly mail your packages, so it's not obvious that they're sex toys. one other tip...the pocket rocker or "water dancer" (it's a little blue vibe) is one of the best i've tried. it claims to be a "massager" for the whole body...UH HUH. yeah right. have fun!

if both people want a relationship to work, then they will do whatever it takes. however, LOVE isn't always enough. a person might love another individual more than anything, but there might be too much baggage and too much pain that has accumulated...sometimes a person becomes weary and too exhausted to take anymore...sooner or later, people want to be freed from the negative energy and weight that's holding them down. i'm not saying this is the case...it just sounds like there are A LOT of emotional issues going on. and the angry outbursts...i'm glad you're getting some help for that because it can scare someone to see such rage erupt in a person. i know it seems unfair that she is abandoning you in this time of need, but, unfortunately life doesn't always work out how we'd often like. maybe she just got to a point where she'd had enough-like the straw that broke the camel's back. if the two of you are still communicating regularly, as you said, are the conversations productive? are you discussing ways to move forward and work on your issues/differences? OR are you rehashing the past and, in turn, digging a deeper rift?

as difficult as it may be, try to remember that the past is the past. there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change what has already happened-good or bad. start with TODAY...take it one day and one step at a time. you have already taken a BIG step by accepting responsibility for your emotional struggles and going to counseling. i think that in itself is commendable, considering many people refuse to admit they have issues to sort out. as far as your relationship with this woman, you cannot change how she is feeling. you have to accept that she might need time to figure out what she wants in her life too. it sounds like she would benefit from some therapy as well...have you ever suggested couples counseling, in addition to individual therapy? just a thought... in the meantime stop beating yourself up for past mistakes. instead, work on bettering yourself as a human being, going to counseling and working through your problems. you need to concentrate on becoming a HEALTHIER YOU.

have you just come out and asked him if he wants to one day be married? some people don't see themselves getting married, ever. and those that do might want to wait until the time is right or until they're a little older (and have had a chance to experience life). some people are content with living together and having all the benefits of marriage without the piece of paper. you obviously want a commitment, and you have a right to that. you have been together long enough, but you're still both very young. considering you have a child together, i hope that you're able to work it out, so that both of you are happy. but it sounds like you need to have a candid conversation with him.

i am your girlfriend in my present situation. the guy i am currently dating recently (march) ended a 5+ years relationship. i am completely allowing him to set the pace for us, only because i really adore the guy and DO NOT want to RUSH anything. we get along wonderfully and when we are together, we make the most of our time and really enjoy each other. i know that it will all work out if it's meant to be. i have been on my own for some time, so i think it helps. if i don't get to see him all the time, i don't get upset...i just go with the flow and do my own thing. he really appreciates my patience, and it makes him want to see me even moreso. still, i understand where your current girlfriend is coming from. she is likely a little guarded and fearful that she is a rebound. as another poster said, what if this is just a passerby to help you get through this difficult time? are you sure YOU are ready to be in a relationship at all? and, if you ARE ready, then try to understand why she feels scared and sometimes anxious. on the other hand, i can see why you are taking it slow. i can understand the anxiety you likely feel when considering a family "meeting" or the pressure she is putting upon you. unfortunately, we (women) seem to hurry things along a little faster than some men prefer to do. my only advice for you...if this girl IS special to you and you do want a relationship with her, try to reassure her that she is important and show her in little ways, but tell her you feel more comfortable taking it slow. 9 weeks isn't that long, actually. it's best to just let thigns happen when they're meant to happen. my only worry is whether or not she has the patience to see it through...

so you're in a serious relationship now? everyone that passes through your life is going to have a different impact. i was with (and almost married) a guy for 3 1/2 years, but never felt as "in sync" with him as the guy i am currently dating, and we haven't known each other for quite that long.

i know it feels good to be in a loving relationship-the security, the comfort, the familiarity. i've been there... i honestly never thought i'd be able to be alone and find happiness. but, as you always hear, "until you're happy with yourself, you really can't be happy with another person." when i was younger i always looked to guys to fulfill me, to bring me happiness, security. i thought that was how it worked. now that i've had ample time to do things on my own and ALONE, i have really grown as an independent, secure indivdual. i am so much more confident, so much more comfortable in my own skin. doing things by myself can often be fulfilling, and i feel a lot of pleasure in taking time to be by myself. now that i am in the beginnings of a new relationship, i feel really healthy and ready. i know what i want in another person, and this time around i have a lot more to bring to the table-good stuff. give yourself time...travel, take classes, hang out with new people. i know you've heard it already, but you will learn so much more about yourself in the process. then, when the right person comes into your life, you'll be READY for it.

or you could try meeting someone who is available. there are so many other great women out there. if this girl and her boyfriend don't work out, then see what happens. maybe under the right circumstances the two of you can give it a go. timing is everything.

just like relationships, some friendships aren't meant to last. i still have a few friends from grade school (and i'm 29!), yet i only still talk to two of my many college friends. when a relationship is toxic in anyway...when being around that individual no longer makes you feel GOOD, then it's time to cut it off. you don't have to be rude or inconsiderate...in fact, you don't have to even say anything to this girl. i usually stop calling or just avoid people who are a negative influence in my life. life is too short to waste your time. it doesn't mean you and your best friend can't continue in your relationship. and, yes, there will likely still be situations in which you'll bump into this girl. just be polite and move on.

when i'm running on a treadmill, it's more difficult to run in longer strides, because i'm always afraid i'll fly off the back.. but, when running outdoors, my strides are longer...it stretches more of your leg muscles, and i think it results in a better overall workout.

instead of calling him, leave the ball in his court and move on. go to football games, hang with your friends, stay busy. if he DOES want to see you again, you'll be much more attractive if you have your own life and interests, letting him see that you're fine without him. it amazes me, even now...i am a hopeless romantic and have always worn my heart on my sleeve. it's difficult for me NOT to be emotional and expressive and honest about my feelings towards a man. BUT as soon as i don't give a man the time of day, he's running after me. it's frustrating, but i definitely think guys are more intrigued when you show them you can live without them.