spinster4life

thankyou everyone for your advice. But the reason it came to this was b/c we had talked several times and i just wasnt getting thru to him. Like i said we have been together for 4 years i tell him anything and everything, im not afraid to talk to him. He would not leave me for those who said so. Like I've said before we have a baby,house,cars,dog and not to mention Im the only girl he has ever been with ...(we started dating back in highschool) We actually did have sex and It was one of the best nights we have ever had he was great did things he normally wouldnt do ..(try) and I went outside of my comfort box to. So just withholding it from him for 6 days really did make a difference. We still didnt quit make love just due to the simple fact my mom and little sister are living w/ me right now (only temporaily). But I think that was part of our problem to just having my family here. But once again for all your advice w/o i probably wouldnt of given in and had one of the best nights ever!!

In 4 years my and my boyfriend have only 1 time came close to making love. Now I dont mean sex b/c we have had plenty of that what i mean is making love, its never been romantic its never been passionate we have never even really had makeup sex. So I have been reading up and doing research and from many advice givers the conclusion to the problem is to go 30 days and 30 nights now while my boyfriend opposes going 30 days w/o sex I think as well as my "advice givers" that this may help him appreciate sex more as well w/ all the other simple things kissing hugging and so on. So what I am trying to do is figure out other ways other sensual ways we can be intimate w/o having sex...any ideas

we have been together four years the first time was about 1 year into it the 2nd time 3 years into it and last night 4 years. His personality has changed a little bit but its mostly related to his job he works 10-11 hr days he deals w/a lot so he has been a not so pleasant person to live w/ for the past 4-5 months. I asked him why and he said he dont know he just did. didnt even really think about it

I will try to make this short and not so drawn out ...my boyfriend 4 years now looks at porn. Now its not a every day thing or anything like that just randomly i guess when he gets the feeling he looks at porn. Now what I am wanting to know is why? The first time I was upset but it was simple normal porn however the 2nd time (nine months pregnant) he was looking at forced sex and rape sites they didnt just pop up either he googled them and thats the time i can never forget and then last night I find he was looking at white girls getting screwed by black guys. Why does he do that why does he make the decision to move the mouse and click on sex? Do I not come to his mind does his daughter not come to his mind? For everyone who possiably can plz respond to this i really just need some insight on why he does this (especially the rape sites)

I pretty much got the same response from everybody and I think you are all very right about pressuring him and so on. As far as have I asked him I actually did ask him to marry me it was very nonchalent very calm and he told me no b/c he wasnt going to have it this way he wanted to be the one to ask me and have it be the best purposal ever. So that was fine and as far as the wedding I actually (im so serious) dont want a wedding never did dont know if i ever will my family consist of 8 people, however his family is easily over 100. So when we talk about a small wedding he tells me it will never happen b/c his family just wont have it. it has to be a BIG thing were everyone is invited. so by picking out the dress, cake etc. i was hoping he is just getting the point. he has told me many times we are going to get married just dont have money right now and i know that but im just wanting the commitment just the question to have the security that at least someday it will be a possiablity. he has looked at many rings and continues to. and as far as what he is afraid of many people in his family have went thru at least 1 divorce including his parents. so he is afraid if we get married it will ruin everything and get divorced b/c thats what people do. so do you think he is just afraid of divorce?

Me and my boyfriend have been together now for just about 4 years have lived together for 3, have bought 2 cars together, have just currently got a house have the same checking acct and 5 months ago had a baby. He is 21 I am 20. I have been quit comfortable and quiet may i add about the whole thing but now it is beginning to be a problem...why wont he ask me to marry him? For awhile it was b/c he felt no purposal would be right w/o a ring and the perfect ring at that but after being together for 4 years and having the same checking acct it dosent really matter to me romantic to me is cleaning the kitchen, anyway I am usually nonchalent about it but lately I have been really letting him know how i feel about it ex. picking out the wedding cake flower girl dresses bridesmaid dresses etc... So what I would like to know is if anyone else is going through or has been through this and what the outcome was...and for any guys reading this why would a guy take this long to just ask, knowing its fine and completely welcome to ask w/o a ring.