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About in_the_mirror

  • Birthday 06/11/1988

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  1. so i've been dating my b/f for a year and a half, we are in love with one another and have discussed engagment when we are done with college. anyways, we have been fighting for the last month because we are just stressed with me being away at school mostly, cuz we never really fight when we are together. anyways, i realized i had to change somethings about how i react to certain things and just lighten up about things that have happened to me in the past and just move on. alright. i can and will and have done a lot to show my b/f that i am getting better, and it was helping i thought. i was on his computer looking at my e-mails and i saw that he had his ims up. i talk to some of his friends quite often so i was seeing who it was. well i found one screename i didn't know so i looked (i know bad on my behalf but i thought it was someone else) and it turned out to be a girl he works with. well i say that he had said she was gorgeous and she responded with "shouldn't you be saying that to your g/f" and he said "nah" and she said she was a little uncomfertable with that and that he shouldn't say that. he went on to say it was true though, and that he couldn't help how he felt about her. she said she wasn't going to get into that mess and ended the convo...... i'm crushed, he always has told me how beautiful i am and that he has never seen anyone more attractive then me by far. and now i feel so insecure. i confronted him and he said that he would never leave me for someone else and that i was over reacting.....idk what to do. i have had this happen to me in the past and it hurts so bad. this girl wants me to come to her birthday party so that i'm not uncomfertable around her. i don't have a problem with her i have a problem with my b/f....and he keeps saying he is sorry, but i feel like he should pretty much be kissing my butt if he wants me to know that he truly wants me, and he has pretty much been doing the same old same old....if not less than how he use to treat me. he doesn't see it, but i do.....help i have no clue how to get over this, and how to get through to him how badly this all hurt.
  2. i wouldn't do it....i have done the no contact and wound up sending a birthday text....my ex got the wrong impression and thought it was an invitation to try and get a hold of me and start calling, texting, im-ing, all that stuff. i'm sure they won't die if they don't get a text from you on their birthday.
  3. i think you will be fine, you can have closure without talking to someone, trust me sometimes talking again to gain closure, only makes things worse. i was in a bad 3 year relationship and did the nc thing and its been over a year and a half now and things are great because i don't talk to him.....any time he has tried talking to me he has just made things easier for me to know i made a good decision in leaving. just keep carrying on and don't worry about how much you think of him, you will have your good days and you will have your bad days...its just human nature and you can't help it..... good luck to you, and good job with the nc, many people break but you are strong, good for you.
  4. yeah,i would suggest trying to save up to move out, move in with ur b/f for a little bit until you get on your feet, find a roommate, something....you've already found confronting them isn't going to work, so just do your best to be a daughter at a distance then at home... i can't say i have similar issues, but i do have problems with my parents just wanting to control a lot of my life because they don't understand who i am. whether it is my fault or not, sometimes parents just don't understand what they are doing to their kids....all we can do is pray that someday they get it, and we will too...
  5. a lot of the time women, just as men do to, don't see what they have....it is a compliment to you and more degrading to the women who haven't realized how lucky they were....sometimes it has to do with age, and thinking they know what is good for them, but isn't what they really need in the long run. i wouldn't take it to heart that she is lying to you, if anything i might ask her about the feelings she has for you....
  6. alright you have two options, play along, or stop it all together.... playing along: when it is time to meet, get a friend of yours to go instead of you and have him pretend he got the texts the whole time, they will know they've been had, and that you knew they were messing with you Or you can stop it, and just text back that you would remember a girl from a drunken night, and you know who really is texting you. and then just give them the facts. they will either come forward and talk to you, or just drop it at that. this way it won't really hurt anyone.....but it will stop.
  7. don't worry too much over one phone call.... if you feel badly you could call her back and say you were sorry but you never caught how her day had went and what not....i'm sure she would think you were sweet...
  8. it happens from time to time. especially after you have spent a long time with them. i know i have been the same way at times. but it comes and goes.
  9. So i have been dating this boy for almost a year and a half now...before this i was in an on again off again relationship for 3 years so i've never felt quite stable in any relationship in the few i have had. so i started dating my boy, Dan, at the beginning of my senior year of highschool. he lied to me about certain aspects of his life because he thought that i wouldnt even consider dating him if really knew about some of the things that he did. he told me a few months into the relationship and we talked about it and everything and i understood a lot of it, but he knew that i would have a hard time trusting him with some things. then i started to have issues with cutting again right over christmas break of '05 and i broke down to him hoping for help.....to say the least he said he didn't want to deal with it again(a past g/f had done it just for attention and now that is the only thing he thinks cutters want) so i figured that he was gonna leave if i didn't do something. but it hurt a lot that he didn't want to try and understand me or help. so at that point i kind of just figured he didn't want to help any of my issues and i started having bad flashbacks from when i was dating my ex (who was a horrible horrible person) needless to say i cried a lot and felt excluded and alone over the next few months. i went to a therapists because i told my parents i needed help, and the therapist wanted to get me on medications but it never happened because my mother thinks she knows me better then i know myself....so i'm still struggling with my depression....i'm struggling with the fact that i don't think my b/f knows how to be emotionally there for me. sometimes dan(my b/f) seems to be in his own world...he can be a jerk, but then again i have my fair share of moments of pms outbursts lol, but he can just be plain insensitive. i don't know how many times i've told him everything on my mind and he just doesn't seem to get it and thinks that i am trying to change who he is and that i should be accepting of his insensitivity, that it isn't personal, but sometimes it is, he jokes about cutting to his friends right in front of me, and it hurts. i can take it from people who don't know my problem, but dan knows and he shouldn't do that kind of thing in front of me. i learned from his ma that he has some horrible repressed childhood memories that are just horrible and that sometimes those are the reasons why people just keep loved ones at arms length. and his mom wants so badly for him to be a nicer person and be more thankful for what he has, and to just try for once to keep good things in his life, but she told me she felt horrible for saying it, but that i could do a lot better then her son, and that i don't desearve the way he has been treating me. i wanna help him i do but, i just get the feeling that unless he gets a clue sometime soon i'm just gonna go off the deep end. it is difficult to just let go, this is the first time with a romantic partner that i want to be the one there to help, but at the same time i need help too and i don't exactly get it when i need it from him. he can be so good to me sometimes but it seems like the only time it happens is when we are intimate, going to be, or right after....and then everything goes back to the way it was. its horrible but i find him just attractive in that way, and i know he loves having me around, he truly does adore me, he just doesn't know how to show me. if i were to leave him though i would be losing my world. some of his friends and i were really close, and his mom was like a parent i just never had, and just now that i am in college when i go home, his home, is my home....my parents hate it, but i'm so comfertable there.... then there is just the issue of the fact that i happen to have fallen in love with Dan's best friend, Jer....throughout all of my problems jer has been the one who was there to talk with me if i needed it. he would make sure if i am ok after a bad night with dan, and i've always found him attractive, and i know he finds me attractive because dan and him will talk about it right in front of me, weird a little, but i'm always flattered. my issue is that A) i don't think i could do that to dan B) jer is his best friend and i don't think he could do that C) it is so conflicting to care about two people in the same ways....there is more to the whole jer thing but i'm really desperate for help, i don't know what to do, where to start with it all, and i am sorry that this is kind of long. i'm just in a situation i wish i never got myself in at times.
  10. well 2.0 is not bad at all. you would surprised that a lot of the time colleges will accept you, its just you have to apply to many to make sure. just because you didn't do as great in high school doesn't mean that colleges will just look at that and say no. they look at acts and sats and they definitely look highly on recommendations from teachers and counselors at school, there is a lot you can do to get accepted, but go to the your assigned counselor and tell them what is up, they are always willing to help.
  11. i''m sure he is still a little hurt from the relationship, but i wouldn't doubt how he feels about you....i do however think he needs to do no contact with her cuz this girl sounds a little on the crazy side sending photos of herself to him on a regular basis. that is not normal ex behavior. talk to him all together about how you feel...he is the one that is going to be able to put your heart at ease about all of this.
  12. i don't see any harm in it, i mean you are suppose to learn from experiences...if there is a click you'll feel it, if not you can move on and you two can learn from the relationship.
  13. i agree with it, i fall in love easy enough, then i realize i have to get use to the person cuz the "honeymoon" stage just doesn't stay...
  14. i say you just block him and be done with it....it doesn't matter if he thinks he has the upper hand or not, he is now in the catagory of lying cheating boyfriends and you deserve better. don't wait for a reply or anything, you don't need to, your better then that....work on moving on hun.
  15. for the running you should do what you are comfertable with for right now, maybe doing a little more then 2 miles....sometimes doing it based on time is better.... varity in training makes it easier too....so here are a few things you can do. fartlicks (i know funny name but it really works): walk for 30 seconds, jog for 30, then push a little and run for 30 secs. then move up to a minute and go through that cycle again. then do 1 min 30 and then do the same again. go up to 2 or 3 minutes and then go down in time incriments from there. ( as you get more use to it you can move it up in 1 minute incriments and as high as you like) just jog for 20-40 minutes- doing this on days after you have something harder is a great idea... walk for 30 minutes then jog for 1 minute and 30 seconds whatever pace you are comfy with...do that for 20-30 minutes i know that some of this seems a little hard but it helps a lot. you need to make sure you are getting good carbs in you the night before working out...if you are going to work out in the morning eat a pasta dish the night before. watch the fatty foods and sodium and i agree with ones said up above about eating 5-6 smaller meals....i found in the past that slim fasts are good for getting some daily vitamins, but eat a banana or other piece of fruit with it for breakfast maybe. or a snack at work...there are a lot of things you can do food wise, and the internet can be a wonderful source for finding good and healthy food ideas throughout the day.
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