ShySoul

Relationships are something you have to work at everyday. People change, they grow apart, circumstances can get in the way... all these things can hurt or ruin a relationship at any time. There is no clear cut make or break it point. Instead you have to rely upon your feelings and gut reaction. You'll know if something is right or if it's not working out. Even if you do find someone you think you will spend the rest of your life with things may change. Look at all the divorces that are out there. My parents were together 25 years and then got divorced. You'd think they got have made it last after that long or else relized they weren't right for each other sooner. Because a relationship could end at any time we need to enjoy it while we can. Don't take it for granted and cherish every minute. You may get your heart broken at the end, but the fond memories and things you learn about yourself will be worth it.

Didn't go to my prom and never really wanted to. But I have a suggestion that could be interesting. There's probably a good deal of people who feel the same way and don't want to go cause they don't have dates. Why not get these people all together and stage an anti-prom? A gathering where there's no need for dates, a limo, dressing up or any of that fancy prom stuff. Just people getting together to hang out and have a good time.

Maybe you should focus less on appearance and go for someone you actually feel comfortable enough to talk to. Why hold out for a so called "hot chick" when you apparently have good relationshis with these other girls. No matter how "hot" a girl is, if you can't get a good conversation going with her the relationship will never take off. If you give the plain lookers a chance there'll start to look better both in terms of personality and appearance. The girls who are worth it are the ones you feel comfortable with, can talk to, and can be friends with.

Professional help could just be a temporary fix as well. I know people who see doctors, counselors, ect. but there problem never really gets better. Taking medicine has never struck me as being a solution either. If someone is depressed then they need to address what is bothering them, not take some pill. I find that helping others and seeing that I've made a difference in someone's life gives a sense of accomplishment, like something I did actually mattered in this world. It really comes down to what the individual thinks is the right choice for them. They are the one who ultimately has to figure out why they are feeling a certain way and what they are going to do about it. Anyway, good luck Chris and hope you feel better. Let us know how things work out.

Chris, I too have felt like life is pointless and nothing I do really matters. But it does matter, even if its in some way we can't yet see. The smallest act can have an big impact on ourselves and on others. Find something you like doing, or something you used to like doing before you got in this nothing matters mood. I would suggest volunteering someplace. It can be a remarkably rewarding experience to know that some small act you do truly helps someone else out. Maybe work with kids from a troubled background. Help out at a soup kitchen and see how much your helping the poor and homeless. You'll be making a difference in people's lives and will also feel better about yourself. And think positive. Life does matter.

Hi, It seems like you suffer from a lack of confidence in yourself. You should look on the bright side and focus on the positive things. You have a boyfriend who loves you and is there for you. Your probably a great person with talents, interests, and friends. Also, your young and probably new and not used to the whole dating thing. You may be worried that your not good enough to be in a long, loving relationship. Well, you are. Try to think positive and believe in yourself. You have a good relationship now and any guy would be lucky to go out with you.

Clubs at school are a great idea. You can meet new people who obviously like the same thing you do. Volunteer work is good. You can meet people and also to something good for the community. Otherwise just think about where most people your age hang out.

You can tell someone cares about you from the little things they do. Like asking how you're doing, taking an interest in something you like, remembering things you said even if they don't seem all that important, being there when you need support, giving you a hug, etc. It is hard to explain. When it happens you just know.

If she's not going out with you because of your skin color, then it's her problem. She doesn't deserve someone like you. There are plenty of good girls out there who would be better for you. Don't give up, you'll find someone eventually.

You can't love somebody at first sight. You know nothing about this person. Love only blooms after two people have taken the time to truly get to know each other. Once we find someone who we can trust, have alot in common with and is a friend, then we can say we are really in love with him or her. At first sight there is only physical attraction. That doesn't come close to love.

Well, I struggle with this myself at times. I think you just need to pick one thing that you really want to do and set aside a specific time to do it. Say, every Friday I'm going to spend 5 to 6 at the gym... or something to that effect. School should be the top priority but make time for something else. Make sure to stick to a specific time, after awhile it will become second nature and just a regular part of your schedule.

Life can be a pain. When one thing goes wrong everything seems to go wrong. I also know how it feels to have absolutely NOTHING go your way. But then something always happen that makes you smile and makes all the horrible junk you went through seem so unimportant. This something may take awhile to find you and it may not seem like much right away, but it does happen. Just keep faith that sunny days will come again. Don't forget: Life doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Be strong.

Girls like that are a complete turn-off. I'd rather have a sweet, innocent, shy girl. Someone who I can just be with and have a nice, intelligent, normal conversation. I find that the more sexual you try to be the less sexy you actually are. Someone who flaunts their bodies or tries to be sexy just comes of as easy and desperate. But watching a shy girl just smile can be remarkably sexy. Also, when a relationship goes slower it generally means more as the people really have the chance to get to know each other. If you rush in to something you may wake up and realize you've made a big mistake. Bottom line: I'll take classy over trashy anyday.

Tell her how you feel. You already know she likes you so the chance of rejection is slim. Just be nice and honest with her. Tell her you value your friendship and you like her but will be willing to do what she thinks is best. Go for it. Trust me, the feeling of regret from not telling her would be far worse than anything she could say.

A soulmate is someone who understands you in a way no one else ever can. Someone who knows what you are thinking and feeling without a word ever being spoken. There is a bond, a connection that transcends any problems, any distance, any barriers. Someone who who cheers you up when you are down. Somewhere who gives you the strength to be your best. Someone who challenges you, supports you, and loves you no matter what happens. A soulmate is just what the word suggest: someone whose very soul is intertwined with your own.

The only time it can be a bad thing is when you like the girl. Then you can get an awkward situation of wanting to be more but not wanting to risk your friendship. Plus she could always say she wants to be just friends even though you want more. Otherwise, being friends with a girl is great. You have someone to talk to and hang out with. And if anything does develop between the two of you, you already know what the other person is like. The underlying friendship can make for a deeper relationship.

Statistics are just numbers, in the end it's up to us to decide what we are going to do with our lives and how we will act. Some people give in to their anger and hurt because it's easier then facing there problems. They can't admit to there problems, never fully dealing with their emotions and feelings. Because they still have so many unresolved issues, they don't know how to handle any other problems that come up. Then they just fall back on what they have seen in the past, the only solutions they have ever known. In doing so they become the very thing they so despised. This creates a tragic cycle of pain and hurt. Still, there are some people who have the inner strength and confidence to go against the cycle. People who refuse to repeat the mistakes their parents made and model there life in an invert of what they witnessed when they were young. I, for one don't want to repeat the mistakes my family has made. I use them as an example of how not to be. These people are strong enough to realize there problems and get help... through religion, philosophy, therapy, etc. I've always loved this saying: Those who do not learn from the mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat. If we see those mistakes and try to learn from them, we will be better off. But if we ignore the mistakes, rather ours or others, they will just come back to haunt us. Matt, I was actually agreeing with you. Maybe I should have said I don't buy into that we should turn our lives over to him stuff either. Rather you believe in God or not, you still have ultimate control over your life.

A nice guy is someone who is: respectful, courteous, considerate, thoughtful, will listen, is there for the girl when she need you, and is above all else a friend. Someone who is a gentleman. He still stands up for himself and doesn't allow himself to be used, but still treats a woman with class. And any one who would even think that being a nice guy is a good way to get into a girls pants, is not truly a nice guy. A nice guy doesn't even think about that stuff unless he's in a serious relationship.

I've had my moments of hopelessness. But something always happens when you least expect it to give you that added bit of encouragement. You just need to be aware of it and realize it when it comes along. Can't say I know what your going through with the twin thing. Must be really hard to deal with. What's he like? Maybe his personality has something to do with why he's getting attention from girls. Is he outgoing and sociable? Does he give off a sense of self-confidence? Maybe that's what girls like about him. If you look alike then there has to be another explanation why he gets the girls and you don't. I would say to just have more confidence in yourself. And any girl who would purposely avoid you is probably a snuck up snob who doesn't deserve a nice guy like yourself.

Hey, Prezkot. Sometimes its good to let out your frustrations in a nice rant. I know your going through a rough time and it feels like it'll never end. I've been there, heck I'm still there. I only have one true friend and I didn't meet him until I was your age. I still don't have a girlfriend and don't look to be getting one any time soon. The lonliness can really eat away at you and leave you feeling so very very empty. It's especially hard to see others making friends so easily and always chatting away and having a good 'ole time. All I can really say is to not give up. You have to stick it out and have faith that things will get better. Eventually they will. You'll end up in a great relationship with someone who makes you feel special. And keep confident. Believe that your a 10 and someday someone else will think you a 10+.

Hey, I'm in the same position. The good qualities I have aren't in high demand and no girl, and I mean NO GIRL, ever approaches me either. I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, never had a date, never been kissed. It's hard to deal with and I sometimes feel like I'll never have someone to hold either. I've been worn down lately by this feeling of lonliness and have felt like just giving up. But I know I can't. You have to keep believing that things will get better, hoping that someone sees how special you truly are. When things look down hope is all we really have. You can either give into your despair or fight it. Just thinking here, maybe confidence has more to do with this than looks. If you think your ugly and no one will like you, chances are that will happen. And I say again, different people are attracted to different looks. Someone will find you attractive eventually. When that happens it will be worth all the waiting and all the hurt. What would you rather have: being "attractive" and having a number of meaningless flings or being you and having one truly special, life altering relationship with someone who you relate to like no one else?

Hug and a peck on the check feels right. You don't want to go to fast just in case she isn't ready for that yet. Also, you want something to look forward to in the future, right?

Shinobie, You are NOT ugly. Keep telling yourself that, "I am not ugly." I've noticed your posts and you seem like a really good person. Somewhere out there is someone perfect for you and when you find her it'll be better than anything you've thought possible. I'm 21 and I've done anything with a girl either. I know its frustrating and depressing. I know you sometimes feel like your life is pointless. But you've got to have faith that things will get better. Focus on the good things, no matter how small they are. You've talked about the good girls ending up with jerks. Know that your the one those girls will eventually turn to. The good women aren't all taken, their searching for someone just like you. You just have to be patient until she finds you. Most people in this world are ignorant jerks. They put people down to try and make themselves feel bigger. But deep down, their probably feeling just as bad as you, maybe worse. And as for you being ignorant with girls, I'd say it's the opposite. You know how to treat a girl right, how to be nice, respectful, and be a friend. That's what a girl really looks for. At your age, or my age for that matter, it may not seem like that. But it is true. The nice guy does get the girl, it just takes a long time.

Great response as usual Mahlina, I totally agree. Ultimately I just want to help others and give back to the world. Things haven't always gone well for me and at times I've wondered why I'm even alive. The one thing that's kept me going no matter what is the desire to do good and help people. We see and hear about so much pain and tragedy in the world and I wonder why do things have to be this way? I don't like the suffering and hurt I've experienced in my life and don't want others to feel that way. I especially hate to see children suffer, they deserve better. They deserve to grow up safe from the harsher elements of this world. If I can truly help and affect the life of one just person then I know I've made a difference. Hopefully that person will affect someone else and start a chain of love that makes the world a better place. Matt, I don't buy into that God has a plan for us and we should turn our lives over to him stuff. Humanity makes its own choices. Our lives, our purpose, our destinies are ours to choose. It's easy to say God controls everything and absolve ourselves of the responsibilities and burdens that come with making our own choices. Figure out what you as an individual want to devote your life to and then work on fullfilling that goal.

Hey John, Don't worry so much about what other people think of you. I know it's hard and when people keep putting you down its easy to get discouraged with yourself. But you need to put that out of your mind as best you can and start focusing on you. Be the best person you can be and be proud of who you are. It doesn't matter if others say your ugly because deep down you should know your not. Even if you don't have a girlfriend to tell you this, I'm sure somebody is nice to you and compliments you. For all you know these guys could just be jealous of you and putting you down to make themselves feel better. Besides, what is "ugly" or "beautiful" anyway? What one person may find attractive another person may find ugly. When it comes to appearance, it's all a matter of opinion. But being a good person and having confidence in yourself is truly beautiful.