ShySoul

You'll never know what could happen unless you try. Try to track her down. Check with your friends to see if they know her and could introduce. Then just talk to her and get to know her. Be nice, polite, and friendly. After that see what happens. The important thing is to take the chance and talk to her. This comes from experience, if you don't you will regret it for a long time to come.

Personality counts for everything. You said it yourself, "it's also common for a person to become more attractive to someone else after they've exposed their personality." I've always find that the more I like who the girl is on the inside, the more beautiful she begins to look on the outside. I try not to judge someone on their looks. I don't have certain physical features I look for in a women, I look for who she is as a person and then begin to note her physical aspects.

Ideally I would want someone who is all three. You meet someone who becomes a really good friend. That friendship grows until you get married, when you become family and lovers. If you have children then the family grows. A true friend is the most important. He or she is the one who is their when you need somone, when your happy and when your sad. If your lucky that friend may be family or a lover.

1.) doesn't matter 2.) doesn't matter 3.) whatever's natural 4.) none, beautiful just the way she is 5.) however her shape is 6.) doesn't matter 7.) whatever she wants 8.) brain, smile 9.) I find someone's personality attractive, not how they look. I find that if you like them first then they'll start to look more beautiful in your eyes, regardless of rather their physical features match up to ones "preferences."

1. Divorced last year when I was 20 and they were around 60, after 25 years of marriage. Have been shy a long before that so there's no connection there. 2. Nice guy, smart, caring, sensitive.... Yes, I think I'm attractive. I've got a good heart and care about people which is the most attractive thing about someone. Physically, I look how I look and that's that. I'm not a model and I'm not deformed, I just look like me. If people find that attractive good, if not then too bad. 3. Just my nature. I was born a shy soul and that's part of who I am. I tend to think differently then most people and don't generally like the things mainstream culture likes, so that makes it difficult at times to get to know people.

Talk to her! You have a second chance which is something that doesn't happen often. You know how it feels to give up hope and I'm sure it was an unpleasant feeling you don't want to go through again. Just talk to her and try to get to know her. Be her friend and see how things go. If you to like each other ask her to hang out sometime.

Good to hear stories of people overcoming their fears. It's a hard thing to do but its necessary if we ever want to grow. Wish I could say I've overcome my fear but I haven't. I met this wonderful girl that I grew to like more than I've ever liked anyone else. She was nice, beautiful, smart and everything I could ever want. She was a true friend, and it's hard for me to make friends. But I let my fear get the best of me. I haven't seen her in months and lost my chance. I still love her but its too late. So for whoever's reading this, don't let your fear control you. Living with the regret of not asking is worse than anything she could have said. Just wondering if anyone else has this problem. Everyone always says their afraid of rejection. But is anyone else afraid the other person will like you back? I was scared that she might actually like me as well. I've never had a relationship and the thought of not being alone and having someone to be with made me a nervous wreck.

I have to say no, not any two people can be in a relationship... at least not a good, heartfelt relationship that stands a chance of lasting. We need to be with someone who shares similar interests, ideas, beliefs, etc.. People can disagree and their can be things about each other the couple doesn't like, but their still has to be an underlying connection, a feeling that the person understands you like no one else. Even if the saying is true and opposites attract I don't feel that kind of realtionship can last. I don't believe we are made for certain people, but their are certain types of people we identify more easily with. Once we find someone we can identify with and feel that connection with, it's up to us to make the relationship work.

tobereleased, I agree, love is not sex. Plenty of people have sex without love and plenty of people love without having sex. Its when the two are combined that makes things truly special and memorable. But I don't think that should happen until yor married. Sex should be the ultimate expression of your love... two people sharing their souls and all they are. That's not something that should be given to just anybody. I would prefer if the person I'm with feels the same way when it comes to sex. But if she's not a virgin, it's okay with me. As long as she is willling to wait until I'm ready then whatever happened in the past is in the past.

Feel the exact same way. Don't know how I keep from snapping sometimes but I do. Just believe the hurt is for a reason and one day will get everything we've been waiting for.

I agree, looks don't matter it's who you are in the inside that counts. Most people in this world are shallow and superficial. They tend to far outnumber the "good" girls and guys making it seem like the good people are nonexistant. Us good guys just have to stick it out and hope that we'll eventually find someone thats right. Good people do exisit and do eventually find each other.

If two people really love each other than they should be willing to wait until both are ready for sex, rather it be before marriage or after. Anyone who wouldn't date someone just because they won't have sex is being very superficial and judgemental. The person waiting is better off without the other and should look for someone willing to respect their beliefs. Personally, I will want until marriage and I'm in no hurry to get married. This belief has nothing to do with God or religion. Sex is suppose to be the most intimate act you can share with someone. Something more that physical, it should be an emotional and spiritual act, a declaration of love and devotion. I guess I'm old fashioned, but I'm not going to share this until I'm with someone I feel I will spend the rest of my life with. And waiting can improve the experience. What could be more romantic tha two people saving themselves for each other and then pledging themselves to each in heart, body and soul? The physical pleasure is just one part of sex, the emotional aspect is what makes it truly special.

For any relationship to last the couple needs to first and formost be each others friends. Friends are people you can depend on, share interests with, and enjoy being around... all key points in a relationship. So it is possible for people to be friends first and develop into something more. In fact, I believe the best relationships are those that start as a friendship with no intentions of growing into a relationship. Then you get to really know and trust each other. If you go into something looking for a relationship you are likely to be disappointed. Instead just expect to be friends and if feelings develop consider it a bonus. At the least you gain a friend. And if the girl is smart she will see that you care about her and would treat her right and want to see where things could lead.

You have some interesting points but i'm going to have to politely disagree with a few things. You said that when attention is directed outwardly misery evaporates. That's not necessarily true. Yes, when people focus to much on their misery and begin to blame themselves, it only compounds the misery. But people can look outside themselves and still be miserable. This may take the form of blaming others for something that is your own doing (e.g. an alcoholic who doesn't believe he has a problem). They may act happy but still be miserable on the inside. Or you can just be depressed by all the tragic things in this world. If you focus on all the reports of murder, homelessness, terrorism, etc. you can get awful depressed. Sometimes misery is they fault of "them" or "him," not "I" or "me." Were people kept in concetration camps or forced into slavery responsible for their misery. Yes, they could control the degree of their misery and use their willpower to not give up, but their conditions were still miserable through no fault of their own. "Our function is to be aware, consciously, objectively, non-judgementally." It always amazes me when people say we should be non-judgemental. The problem is, we make judgements all the time. At times we should be judgemental. If someone murders a family, is it wrong to judge their act as disturbing and wrong? Shouldn't we say they either need help or should be in prison, thus forming a judgement about them. It works the other way to. When someone does a good act, shouldn't we judge them as being a good person. In fact, in saying that we shouldn't be judgemental, you are judging people worth of not being judged. What you really mean is that we shouldn't be prejudging people, judging them without getting all the facts and considering their point of view. "We are servants of Life; our service is to observe objectively what is going on around us so that Life can function through us" I don't believe we are servants of life, rather life is our servant. If life needs to function through us then it is dependent on us. Without us their is no life. Actually maybe it's more of a co-relationship. We need life as life needs us. What I'm trying to say is that our life is our our own and we make every decision in it. Saying that we are servants to anything is to deny our strenth and willpower. We can do anything we set our minds to doing and can change the world. "My opinion (or how I feel about it) is simply not relevant." Our opinions are always relevant. Obviously you felt strongly enough about your opion that you decided to make the post. If your telling your ideas to others you must feel it has some relevance. It's our opions and believes that drive us to action or inaction. And it's our action or inaction that determine how are lives turn out. By saying your opion is irrelevant and submitting to the will of life you are more likely to be inactive and just let things happen as they do. But deciding that your opinion matters can push you to action and you can work to fight against what you feel is wrong, thus making the world a better, less miserable place.

Beautifully stated and 100% correct. Life's not about being what others want you to be, it's about being who you are. Everyone has their skills and flaws and we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to others. As long as we stay true to ourselves and try to be the best person we can be then we are living a good life.

I think it can but would take things slow and not rush it. My brother found his girlfriend while playing an RPG online (Everquest I believe) and they've had a relationship for the past three years. She moved out here to California from Atlanta and they've recently moved out of state together. They are not talking marriage since I don't think either is ready for that yet but they don't show any signs of splitting up. So yes, this relationship can work out, it's happened before. Hope that gives you a little reassurance.

That should say "Change can be good and bad." And nice poem. The idea of staying true to yourself is one of the best things you can do, provided you are a good person to begin with. At 16, its a good value to have considering all the pressures their are at that age.

Change can be couldd and bad, it depends on who you were to begin with and what your changing into. A wife beating drunk who has the attitude that he doesn't have to change is wrong and dangerous. But someone who is a good person at heart and refuses to change their good nature in the face of a sometimes cruel world or under harsh circumstances is doing the right thing.

Just stay her friend. If her relationship doesn't work out she'll need someone she can rely on to be there for her. If you go to fast you could end up just being the rebound guy or messing up a good friendship. Wait awhile until she seems completely over him and then, if things are still going well between you too, you can tell her how you feel. You proving that you will be there for her when she needs a friend and being a nice guy may even work to your advantage.

Easy, the emotional aspect is what a relationship is all about. The physical part is just a way to express what you feel emotionally. To me a girl can look gorgeous but if their isn't any connection between us, if their isn't that spark emotionally and intellectually, there is no chance of a realtionship. After all, you can kiss and make out for awhile but eventually you have to talk to each other. If there's nothing to talk about, then the two of you will eventually get bored and find someone else. I also find that if I find a connection with someone emotionally, then I'll find myself more attracted to them physically. Knowing you care about her feelings and her personality will lead you to see her in a different light.

Relax. I'm 21 and I'm still waiting for that first kiss. I want the kiss to be perfect, something truly special with someone I truly care about. There is no age requirement for when these things happen. It's just something that happens when the time is right. Don't worry, it'll happen eventually.

I also see alot of myself in this guy. I say take the initiative and talk to him. He shows the interest but seems to shy to make a move. Try asking him about something from class. Its an topic that could break the ice and at least get you talking. Then you could just the usually getting to know you questions (where you from, what classes you talking, etc.). Hopefully you'll hit on something that you can talk about (similar interest, a teacher or class you've both had). Good Luck, hope things turn out well.

You said you spent hours with her and talked about everything. Think about your conversations and focus on something that she really loved talking about. Something that made her eyes lit up and her mouth smile. Then use that as a basis for your gameplan. If she really liked the walk by the river, surprise her with a riverside picnic. You listened to music together so you know her tastes and could pick out the right CD. Maybe she mentioned a hobby and you could get her something related to it. Just make sure its something she would be interested in.

Hey, 21 here and never had a girlfriend. Also on the skinny side and really shy and quiet. Wish I had a girlfriend but I've realized that love is something that will happen when the times right. Your only 15 and have plenty of time to find love. At that age it seems like being in a realionship is what your suppose to be doing and your a loser if your not. That's not true. Just be yourself and don't worry about finding a girl. If you want to do something try to open up more and talk to people. Maybe join a club for something that interests you. It would give you something to do and introduce you to new people who you have something in common with. Try to get to know them. If your lucky there might be a girl there you can talk to. But don't be in a rush to find a girl just to have a girlfriend. Try be friends and let the relationship come when i will.

Surprisingly, the sexiest thing a girl can do is just smile. Just being able to look at a smiling girl who is truly having a good time and enjoying herself is a remarkable feeling. The sweetest thing that you'll ever see in the whole wide world is a happy girl.