ShySoul

If she has a boyfriend you need to respect that and wait. Should they happen to break up then by all means take the chance, just make sure she is completely over this guy and that your not catching her on the rebound so to speak. It's got to be frustrating to fall for the girls who are taken. Know that there are plenty of good girls out there who don't have boyfriends. Maybe you'll meet one of them.

Don't worry about it, you'll kiss and make out when the time is right and with someone you really care about. I'm 21 and have never kissed either. Kissing should be something special, done with someone you truly care about. Kids kissing at 12 is ridiculous, they don't understand the love and emotion that goes into making a kiss truly special and wonderful. I'm sure that kissing is a wonderful feeling, but it's not something that you should feel down about if you haven't done it yet. You will eventually, until then just focus on other things, enjoy your life, and let love happen when the time is right.

This forum is a place people can go to get advice and to vent their frustrations. At some point we all feel depressed and discouraged with life. People who haven't had relationships are particularly prone to this feeling. Being one of those guys myself I can say that just being able to express your feelings is a help. It can release tension and frustration that has been building up inside you to the point where it starting to affect you emotionally and even physically. People need an outlet for their feelings and this is a good site for it. Most people here actually cares about others and want to take the time to help, even if it just means being a shoulder to cry on. Society sends the message that sex is a vital to our life and that everyone is doing it. Everywhere you turn sex seems to come up. For virgins it is a big deal. They feel like they are missing out on something that everyone is doing. I agree, people shouldn't feel bad because they are a virgin. If anything, they should be proud of waiting for the right time and person. But it's understandable why they would feel down. If they need to express their feelings, they should and we should be their to listen.

I think people should stop buying into this idea of classifying people based on looks. I mean, can anybody actually define what a good looking person is? Where do you draw the line between good looking and just ok? The media throws these examples at us of what we are suppose to comsider hot or attractive, but who says we have to listen. There are plenty of girls that society claims is hot but I don't find the least bit attractive. Everyone is beautiful in there own way. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We all have different tastes, so what one person considers very attractive another could consider unattractive. There are too many variables to absolutely define anybody as really good looking or any other level of attractiveness. Also, a persons personality plays a major role on if they are attractive.

Yes, how you dress can tell alot about a person, but it's not always clear what the message being sent is. Someone who dresses up may be doing so to give off a perfessional appearance, may just like the style, or they may be materialistic and superficial. Someone who dresses in baggy sweatpants and a old jeans may be a slob or may just prefer to go casual and not care about how or people views the way she dresses. The point is, you can't tell. Remember the saying, you can't judge a book by its cover. Clothes don't make the person, the person makes the clothes. So it's best to not worry about what a person is wearing and focus on their personality. And if I'm going on a date with someone then it would be because I like who they are, their personality. I wouldn't judge how interested a person is in me by the amount of time they spend making themselves look good. In fact, I'd prefer the person come as she normally would dress so that I can get to know the girl she is normally, not the way she dresses or acts when she wants to impress people.

Talk to him and tell him how you feel. If you don't think that he's the guy for you then you shouldn't stay with him because you feel obligated to. What other people think isn't important, what matters is how the two of you feel. If you think breaking up is best, then you should do it. Talk to him first, maybe you two can reach some kind of compromise like he doesn't party as much and you learn to accept the shy, quite moments. But don't feel like either one of you is obligated to stay in a relationship that isn't working out.

I think the only way to get over someone you've liked is to just give it time. If you've invested a lot of time and feelings into this crush it won't disappear over night. Time has a way of healing wounds and you will gradually realize your feelings aren't as strong as they once were, until you can say that you are over him. It can also help to become active in something that interests you. That will keep you busy, give you something else to focus on, and take your mind off the person.

Fretless, There are people who want years before having sex, but they do end up having it. They, like me, believe in waiting for the right person even if it takes ages to find her. I'm sure that if you took the time to look through this site you will find stories of people who wanted until their late 20's or early 30's before losing their virginity. You have plenty of time and shouldn't pressure yourself into doing something you may later regret. You are entitled to you own opinions about sex. I'm just letting you know my opinion and the view that most people seem to have when this topic comes up. If you want to go to a prostitute, that's your choice. But the odds are you won't enjoy it like you should, the way you would if it was with someone you truly loved. I've read plenty of stories on this site about people who had sex because they thought it was what they were suppose to do, not because they loved the person. Most of them say they regret the choice and wish they had wanted. Honestly, I don't think this is about sex. I think you have other issues you need to work out. You sound like you are lonely and sad and are looking at sex as a means of feeling loved. It's like an escape from your problems. I don't know if you have low confidence or if something happened to you in the past, but you sound depressed and should consider talking to someone, a counselor or just a really good friend.

Just one question: Do you really want your first time to be with someone you have no emotional connection with, don't even know, and considers it a business arrangement? Sex is suppose to be about love. I know it's frustrating being almost 20 and never having that experience I'm almost 22 and haven't even had a date or a kiss. I'm shy too. I long for those experiences. But I'd rather wait for someone who really matters to me and cares about me than give myself away like that. You'll have those experiences, just be patient and believe in yourself.

Don't bother with sites like that or books and articles that claim to make you more attractive to the opposite sex. All people need to do is be themselves and have confidence in themself. Eventually they will run accross someone who likes them for who they are. There are no special tips to making yourself more attractive. What attract someone varies from person to person. You can't just say do these things and you'll get a date. Even if you do get a date with these rules, wouldn't you feel like its only those things that got you the date, not the person you are? If you stay true to yourself you will attract someone who really likes you and the relationship stands a better chance of working out. Confidence and patience are the real skills a person needs.

The answer will vary from guy to guy as each person has their own tastes. But it shouldn't matter what guys like. Wear what you like, what makes you feel good. If a guy is paying attention to you because of your clothes, that's not really a good thing. Guys should pay attention to you because of the person you are on the inside.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over 'Love is like a butterfly; told it too tight and it crushes; hold it too loose and it will fly away; but hold it just safely and it will live for a long time more' You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if your not part of their happiness!! "Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." Can you look into my eyes and see that I've cried a million tears...just for you? Love is kind and patient never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. love rejoices in the trust, but not in evil. love is always supportive, loyal, and hopeful, and trusting. love never fails! -1 Corinthians The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with your heart. -Helen Keller

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself" The fear of what wil happen if we let our hearts go and take a chance on love is often worse than just going ahead and taking the risk. People tend to picture things as being worse than it usually is. We should just tell someone how we feel and not be afraid to take a chance on love.

Yes people can change. It takes a level of commitment and hard work that not everyone is willing to strive for, which is why so many people don't change out of there bad habits. It also requires a fair and honest evaluation of oneself. A lot of people would rather blame other people for there faults and there mistakes because they are afraid of admitting the truth. They are afraid of facing a part of themselves that they don't like and are ashamed of. It's easier to blame others then to look inward. But once you admit your problems and dedicate yourself to changing, it can be done. It may not be quick and it may not be easy but people can do it. The strength of the human heart and spirit can achieve anything.

I agree with the previous posters, you need to start by working on your confidence. I'm sure you are a very pretty girl. You have lots of great qualities but are just shy and self-conscious. Try to focus on the parts of yourself that you do like. Certainly someone has complimented you on something, think about that and feel proud of that aspect of you. Instead of thinking your nerdy just think of yourself as intelligent. It's all in how you look at yourself. If you believe your a good, attractive person that confidence will show and make it easier to attract someone else. Once you've done that just say hi to this guy and ask him about something you have in common, maybe a class? Believe in yourself.

mdiddy811999, Your experiences also remind me of what my mother went through. She was abandoned by the father of one of her children and then abused by the father of another. She finally ended up with my father but that relationship turned sour and they divoced a couple years ago. Throughout it all what has kept her going is her children. I know she loves us and has worked hard to make sure we have had the best life she could give us. If she can do it then so can you. Realize that all those bad experiences are in the past and that you've survived them. They have made you a stronger person, someone who didn't give up and has fought to get where you are. Use it as motivation to do more, to show that you are better then what your past would indicate. Do it for your children who deserve a good life. The mere fact that you are there for them says that you are a good person. And do it for yourself. Know that your a good person and that good things will eventually happen for you.

Intelligence is very important. You can be extremely attracted to each other physically but there has to be something else there. You can't cuddle and kiss all the time, sooner or later your going to have to be able to hold conversations with each other. If there's nothing for you to talk about then that's going to drag the relationship down pretty fast. Personally I think I'm a very philosophical person so I value people I can have deep, meaningful conversations with. But you should also consider that there are different types of intelligence. Someone may not be up on politics but be very knowlegable on philosphy. As long as your interests and knowledge on topics matches then your good.

Men and women shouldn't be difficult to understand. Everyone wants the same thing in the end, someone who understands, loves and appreciates them. Someone they can be friends with and enjoy being around. What makes things so difficult is the fact that people usually don't know what they want or are not ready to have it. Thus they pull away or play little mind games. Some people also have it stuck in their heads for some reason that they should be playing games, that this somehow makes them more appealing. Everything would be so much simpler if people were honest with each other and stopped all the childish games.

RadBrad12, Just wanted to add that you shouldn't listen to the advice about drinking. Sure it will help loosen you up, but it could also cause you to act like a fool and that wouldn't leave a very good impression. What you need is to just find people you are comfortable with and shy things in common with. Talking online is a good thing. You can find chatrooms for topics your into and you feel like you can open up more since you don't have to deal with a face to face reaction. Being online is a good step if your shy, but eventually you'll want to have the person to person contact. And the other poster was right, college will help you out. It'll introduce you to alot of different people with different backgrounds. You should be able to find people who you have things in common with. Don't lose hope and believe in yourself.

Hi, I'm really shy around girls too, and shy around people in general. I know how lonely and depressing it can feel to not have someone to be with, or even too have a true friend. There's really only one guy I consider a true friend, and I'm even shy around him at times. It's hard when you are shy and don't have any kind of support system. You feel like you've got nothing in life and wonder if things will ever get better. They will, just have faith. The first thing you need to do is to work on your self confidence. Is there any subject you are expecially good at or a hobby that really interests you? You mentioned computer games. Are you really into computers? Once you find something you are good at and are passionate about, throw yourself into it. Find a club that has to do with that subject. You'll gain confidence as you realize you are good at something and can meet people who are interested in the same thing. Keep putting yourself out there. Eventually you'll meet people who like and appreciate you, people who want to be your friend. It may be hard but it's something you just have to do. Keep telling yourself that you are a good person and will do fine. Work on breaking out of that shell. Take a chance and try something you normally wouldn't try. By having confidence in yourself and putting yourself out there, you'll be more appealing to others. Hopefully a girl will take notice and want to be friends. Know that your not alone, plenty of people are shy and have a hard time opening up to others. If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me, I'll listen.

sTarryEyez, You should confront the guy about this just to hear his side of the story. Hear him out first but you probably should just leave him, you don't deserve to have to put up with stuff like that. Sorry to say, there are alot of jerks out there, guys who don't know how to treat a woman right. But in the end they are the real losers. They'll use people to make themselves feel better but they'll never really feel good about it. Somewhere in there hearts there will be an empty feeling, a sense that they are not proud of themselves. They will wander around aimlessly, searching for love but never able to find it because of the way they act. You are better off without that kind of guy, so don't shed many tears over him. And girls, don't give up hope. There are still a few prince charmings out there who will sweep you off your feet and treat you right. They might be hard to find, but they are out there and you'll find one eventually.

Sounds like you've matured faster than your friends. They are still stuck at a more childish level of humor while you have more sophisticated tastes. Don't resort to that kind of humor if it's not you. Your friends should be able to respect you just as you are. You don't always have to be the funny one, it could possibly be to your advantage to be the mature person in your group. And just a word on humor in general, I think the more you try to be funny the less you are. When you are not worrried about getting laughs and are just being yourself your natural sense of humor shines through.

Go ahead and tell him. The worse that will happen is that he says no and you feel sad. But you'll have at least taken the chance. You'll come to see that rejection does hurt but it isn't as bad as you are probably making it out to be. If you don't say anything you'll have to live with the regret of not knowing what could have happened. Plus, at 14 you have plenty of time to find someone elseif things don't work out. And think about what you could can if he does like you. The possible benefits is worth the risk. Relax, believe in yourself and go for it.

Try to look at the good things in your life. Realize that this guy is the one who is losing out on the chance to be with an amazing person like you. Take the time to have fun doing something you like to do. And if you are concerned about losing your friends, make an extra effort to hang out with them. It's okay to be feeling down if you've hit a hard stretch in your life. It's okay to be sad and depressed for awhile. But don't let the sorrow overwhelm you. Have fun, look on the bright side, and believe in yourself. Things will get better.

What people find attractive in the way of looks varies so much from person to person. It's more important to pay attention to who the person is on the inside. Someone's heart, soul, and personality is what matters most. I'm not going to say that looks don't play a part in attraction, they do to some extent. But if two people really click, then it won't matter that much. If two people share similar interests, values, and beliefs that's what matters. If anything, they will probably find the physical attraction will follow.