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kungfumaster

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  1. kungfumaster
    Pursue this = everyone gets hurt in the end. Period.
  2. kungfumaster
    Can you guys try fixing the sex problem?? Is it him? Is it you?? Maybe its both of you, but you don't consciously know what the problem is. You should discuss this with him - and be open and listen. Maybe you guys can talk to a couple's counsillor? In any case, take care and good luck.
  3. kungfumaster
    Ooops - sorry skywalker. So, anyways, I say good luck to you - bring her some nice flowers - treat her like a queen. surprise her with a gift or something - just try to spice things up. maybe then the love will come back and there will be less quarrels (because she'll be so happy - and you too)
  4. kungfumaster
    Dear skywalker, It is normal I think that you lose the excitement - remember that with every relationship there is a honeymoon period and when that's over, then the "excitement" is gone. But the thing is, it grows into something more substantial I think - I don't know what it is because I've never experienced it, but I think it should grow into a more "mature love": this includes friendship love, romantic love, etc. Also, I think quarrels are always going to be in your relationship for the rest of your lives. Its normal to quarrel. Every healthy couple I know quarrels - its just how you each of you handles these quarrels that makes or breaks you. My brother and sister in law always fight "fairly" - there's alot of emotion, but they are both very reasonable and relatively calm whenever they fight. Why do people always think quarrelling is such a bad thing? My guess is that you are married to a Chinese man. Things are changing over in China. Women are changing and are able to adapt more faster than the men. With the growing economy in China, there is more freedoms and oppurtunities for women in China, and so their views are changing rapidly. This includes the "traditional" notions of a Chinese marriage. It looks more and more like a "North American" marriage if you permit me to say. So, whereas 10 years ago, if there were problems in the marriage, the Chinese couple would just accept it and "brush it under the rug" so to speak, and just try to live their married life as best as possible with these problems. Now however, I have found that the Chinese women do not accept this anymore (with my experience with couple of Chinese divorced women/friends), and more readily able to accept a divorce than to stay and try to work things out. So, I say to you skywalker - good for you that you are asking these questions - ask them to your partner too - try to be open minded, and be patient with him - Chinese men are notorious for "missing the point" in relationships or certain behaviors their partners do to try to hint to thier partner that something needs changing. Good luck and take care. Kung fu p.s: Please forgive me for my long observations. I hope it doens't offend anyone.
  5. kungfumaster
    hey d346, yah - my parents are like that too - i know how you feel. concentrate on your own success - they are just jelous that you have probably bought a home at such a "relatively" young age. his type of parents always think that they are right - just like mine, and it takes a whole lot of effort to try to change their thinking. but it can be done. you just have to be true to yourself and your relationship. don't lose your identity or let it waver your confidence in yourself under critism by his parents. if its one thing i learned teaching university students is that no matter how bad they think of you or criticize your teaching techniques or complain, you have to stick to what you truly believe in, and listen to the few suggestions that are legitimate. stay strong and believe in what you and your partner are doing. good luck and take care. kung fu
  6. kungfumaster
    yes - good job ocean - hang in there as the previous two posters have said already. trust in yourself - do for yourself and for your future - and set a good example for all those people in your situation- your doing good man - your doing good. take care and god bless. kung fu
  7. kungfumaster
    hey thanks guys for your advise... good points. i remember when i found out that my first ex had a new bf - it hurt but, it certainly sped up my recovery process. actually, i'm pretty sure she has a new bf now. ahhh - whatever - if it happens, it happens - if it doesn't, it doesn't.
  8. kungfumaster
    hi everyone, i am going back to the city (TO) where my ex and i were together for 2 years - its the first time since we broke up about a year ago (i live in a different city due to work - one reason i think our relationship didn't last). i'm going there because its on the way to a conference i am going to. i am staying for about 4 days because i miss toronto actually and i wanted to see some of my friends who are still there. i have so many good memories there plus in general, its a fun city. i wanted to "relive" some of my youthful days wiht my old friends. my question is: should i try to contact her for a coffee or something? we are on good terms - that's about it... we're not really friends though because we don't really talk to each other anymore. i am curious to how she is doing though, i.e., does she have a job now, how is life going in general, how is her family, etc... that would be my main reason to get in touch with her again. in reality, i don't really see us getting back together again - its would just be too hard. any thoughts would be appreciated... thanks everyone. kung fu
  9. kungfumaster
    Hey dE, Yah - letting go takes some time... there's no set recipe or foolproof way to do it. We all have our ways. Do things you've always wanted to do but never had the chance to while you were with your ex, travel, a new hobby, etc... Believe it or not, I'm still trying to let go of somethings with my ex - after 1.3 years!! I'm not worried though. I know I am always slow with these healing things. Its just the way I am. Take care. Kung uf fu
  10. kungfumaster
    have you ever tried going to counseling?? maybe they can help. take care.
  11. kungfumaster
    actually, i'm going to have to respectfully disagree SnOman - thanks for your post in my post though although i've always been on the other end of the spectrum, i'm going have to say that feeling guilty is normal - you should feel that way i think otherwise i think you didn't really care for him. it doesn't mean you shouldn't have broken up with him. i think you have to say to yourself that you're only human, and that you couldn't handle it anymore and that you just wanted something better. you weren't happy - so you have to try to move on. i know my ex's were kind of brave infact to break it off - as much as it hurt me, i think it might be for the best for both of us at the time. with my first ex in fact - i look back now, and i realize how much of a gift it was that she broke it off with me, otherwise, i wouldn't have experienced the growth and learning of myself afterwards. with my second ex, i am still healing, but getting better moment by moment. it is still hard, but as long as she's happy, that's is all i want ultimately in the end, so if she wasn't happy, then i'm glad that she broke it off with me. now, i just have to find my own happiness
  12. kungfumaster
    true true goddess. please don't take this the wrong way or anything - an i'm the last person to judge anyone, but just hypothetically, how would you feel about your dad if he had a fling with his 22 year old student? actually, i shouldn't be saying anything because i'll probably end up being that fifty nine year old prof running after young ladies! hah! actually, i hope i don't.
  13. kungfumaster
    i stand corrected.
  14. kungfumaster
    hey thanks Snoman, Belinda, Lonelyinasmalltown, RayKay, and thisisnotanexit for the advise and responses. i went to see a doctor today, and i described to him my symptoms. he took some urine and it turns out that i have little to no sugar in my blood. he said it might be that the sugar is just "cascading away" - and hasn't shown up in my urine yet?? but, he said just to be sure, he put me on a 12 hour water diet, in which case, i come back tomorrow morning to take some blood tests. the results will come back in a week. thanks again you guys for your help. take care everyone. kung fu
  15. kungfumaster
    i think i might have the symptoms that say i am developing type 2 diabetes - -increased thirst (i always have a dry mouth, and i always want to drink more water) -going to the loo all the time – especially at night -extreme tiredness (i just feel tired all the time i think) -weight loss (i was just 160 lbs last week, i've dropped 6 pounds i think) -blurred vision (especially during the first 4-6 hours after i wake up). i smoked for about 6 years... no one in my family has diabetes though - no one that i know of though. has anyone experienced this type of thing, but it turned out to be something else? i know i'm more stressed these days because of work, and i'm feeling a bit depressed and haven't hit the gym in a consistent type of way lately?? i think i will go see the doctor just in case.
  16. kungfumaster
    i am in the "teaching in higher education" business too, and i might be shooting myself in the foot for this, but i inadvertently do the same thing too to the people i like - girls and guys - well, since i'm single, i tend to do it to girls more than guys. with guys, it more of a "pal around type of thing" - with girls, i think i act kind of stupid - like more friendlier instead of more professional. so, my feeling is this prof does like you - but the posters above are sort of right - it is kind of scary. i think if i was that old and married and still "chasing tail" - man, i would hate myself. i would be so ashamed. but i've learned that even though you have a crush on a student, you should NEVER act on it, PERIOD! i did it once, but i was just a teaching assistant then, and we dated after the class was over. now, i've realized that i get older and older, and my students age's stay the same, and so the age gap grows wider and wider - so its just gets absurd. have you ever thought why you like older guys?? i mean - waaaaaaaay older guys?? is your father absent? i hope you will be careful with this, because, in my experience, this always causes trouble later on if such a relationship starts... take care. kung fu
  17. kungfumaster
    yes - run away! quick!! don't look back. i hate that. no partner should ever be EVER subjected to this kind of treatment you've received from you supposed bf! and people get treated worse!
  18. kungfumaster
    yah, i think you have a right to be "suspicious". heck, i wouldn't take this from my partner. i would just leave if she treated me that way for a prolonged time (say, 2 weeks).
  19. kungfumaster
    thanks ray-kay and shy-soul!! you guys are ausome!! you guys are right. i just have to wait - i have faith that i will meet the one that's right for me one day. sometimes, i feel so stupid because i meet someone i like, and then invest alot of emotional energy thinking about them and then find out they have a boyfriend - it just kicks the legs right out from under me. ray-kay - i'm happy that you have met someone. i hope it is going really well. you totally deserve it after what you've been through. your ex doens't know what he's losing. his loss! shy-soul - you are quite wise for a 22 year old guy!! keep on being yourself! thanks again guys! hiyah!
  20. kungfumaster
    vent on!! i feel the same way too. in fact, i look forward to sleep - this past year and a half - nothing has gone in my favor. absolutely nothing. i mean, there were some good things that happened career wise, but really, at the end of my life, when i'm 70, will i say - darn - i remember when i was 29 when i got that promotion and i published my first paper?? seems absurd doesn't it?? only in my sleep can i escape... i wish i could sleep for a long time. time to go to sleep!
  21. kungfumaster
    man - hawaii - when i read you and suprema's posts - i got really depressed - i was asking myself - am i doomed to be alone too for the rest of my life?? but thanks dE- i like that alot. it does seem kind of depressing that most of us think there has to be some set schedule or way of doing things. we should just be happy with what we have, because if we really think about it, we have alot more than the majority of people on this earth (relatively speaking of course).
  22. kungfumaster
    oops, i mean for the latter (you can't handle the guilt or shame), then it is not a good idea.
  23. kungfumaster
    it depends how you deal with guilt or shame. if you have a normal response to this, i.e., we're all human, then i think it is okay. if you you cannot handle the guilt or shame, then i think it is fine i think. i don't know about women, but for men (at least me), it is true. i mean, fo men, there's no choice but to stop if we don't have a partner. then i guess we resort to "other" methods
  24. kungfumaster
    call me stupid, but i don't think it exists.
  25. kungfumaster
    that is totally the right thing to do! man friggin! you have to grow some backbone. she's totally using you to feed her ego. stick with your no contact. this girl is bad news. run fast - don't look back. there are girls out there that WILL actually respect and care for you. hiyah!
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