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kungfumaster

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  1. kungfumaster
    isn't that kind of underhanded/sneaky kind of way to do things?? sure, i can be friends with her, but at the same time, i don't like that because i'm just fooling myself because i like her. okay - i think my recent ex and a friend of hers did the same thing with me - she had this friend who she knew had a crush on her - he kept calling and crushing on her while we were bf/gf, and i think as soon as things went "hard" or not so good for us, she jumped straight to him - she told me near the end how much time she was spending with him - but i'm not sure if they ever hooked up. anyways, if that actually did happen, well - good riddance. i have this philosophy. i don't pursue girls who have boyfriends. i think a relationship born out of making my move right after her relationship ends is a bad way to start it. thanks for your response though nexus! hiyah!
  2. kungfumaster
    really!! i want to know why!! is it just bad karma? - bad luck? - is somebody trying to tell me something?? whenever i like someone - they're taken!! - it happened to me twice this year!! and the last one i just found out an hour ago through a friend. i feel so useless. and, and! the ones that like me -- i don't like at all!! aaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!! okay. time to take a pill.
  3. kungfumaster
    Hey dE, For myself, how have I moved on?? Well, I think I just needed time. I needed to feel it too. What I mean is that, I needed to time to grieve, get angry, get sad, get crazy, let go for a while, everything - you name it, I felt it. So please, just let yourself feel it. If you can't because you are under pressure from work or something, leave it on the back burner for now, let it "cook" for a bit, and then let it out at a time in which you are safe to express such feelings. But don't let it cook too long. Right now, I'm not doing too bad I must say. I mean, I'm not ecstatic, and I'm not happy - but, I an getting better every month that passes by. I have gotten approached by some women, but none of them so far have interested me. There is a couple I would consider, but I realized they might be a bit too young. So, I just wait, and it is fine. I remember after my first ex, I felt like I had no chance of meeting someone better. I was wrong. My second ex was 1000 times better than my first ex. And so, now I know my next potential relationship could be 1000 times better too. So I have lots to look forward too. And I will be grateful when the time comes. In the meantime, I just wait, and improve myself everyday. Take care. Kung fu
  4. kungfumaster
    Being of Asian descent myself, I don't find anything wrong with falling for a guy of a different culture. My brother fell in love with a Spanish woman - my sister-in-law is wonderful. They have been happily married for 7 years now. I have 4 girl cousins who have married caucassian men -they are very happy and still going strong too. For myself, it would be great if in the future I can find an Asian woman with whom I am absolutely smitten with (and she with me), but I will not hold all my cards waiting for it because I know life always finds a way to not give you what you want. My first serious girlfriend was Irish, and my second serious girlfriend was Chinese. It was with my second ex that I realize I "felt more at home" with a partner of the same cultural background as myself, and hence I am at the state which I am now. I might get eaten alive with what I'm about to say, but I say kudos to you for "preferring" to find someone from your own cultural background so that you can keep your parents culture alive. But at the same time, the reality still is (as a previous poster already mentioned) that love does not see color, ethnicity, race or religion. It just sees you as a human being. Take care. Kung fu
  5. kungfumaster
    why spend all your effort with that?? its just a waste of time, plus if you believe in karma - you will get bad karma in the end. yes - living well is the best revenge, but its not really revenge - its just how it should be, period. there are better ways of constructively expressing your anger, e.g., excercise, humor, etc... and you'll look good and be more popular for it hayah!
  6. kungfumaster
    Hey dE, Remember me - this is Kung fu. Wow - it has been a while since I recognized anyone from this board from when I first joined. I thought you guys were doing well since you weren't at the boards anymore. I'm sorry this happened to you again dE. I can't imagine how hard it can be once the initial shock is gone. But remember, you made through the first six months the first time - you will make it through again. REmember what you did the first time?? Just do that again... but this time, follow through - no going back this time. As for me, I have been dating on and off - no one has really caught my eye, and the ones that do always have boyfriends already - those are always a bit sad for me. But what they hey right? Just keep plugging along. Take care dE. Keep posting - it helps.
  7. kungfumaster
    Hello Camilla, To be honest, I think what he did was cruel, and apparently, you did it too in your past relationship? The thing is, when someone breaks up with you, it is cruel for them to try to "string you along" and give hope that there might be hope for the future, "just not now" - what the [bad word goes here] is that? If he really did care for you, he should be a man (or woman) and just say its not going to work out from the beginning instead of leaving a carrot for you just in case he changes his mind. It is a trite but true fact in the cases of break ups that if you are the dumper, "you need to be cruel to be nice" is in fact true. You see, if he really cared for you, he would not have left you hanging like that - it keeps the dumpee from healing and moving on. Even right now, its hard for you to move on. You cannot even get really angry, and you are not allowing yourself to get angry, and that's not healthy. Get angry! Its part of the healing process - you have to feel all your emotions and just let them be for true healing to begin. Anyways though, it is a good thing that you're taking a trip and that you have a new job coming up - congratulations by the way. The trip will help immensely I know, and good luck in your new job! Take care. Kung fu
  8. kungfumaster
    Dido - wow skynet - 10 years - and Pebek - 4 1/2 years. I hope that in time, you guys will forget these bad memories like I have (although my relationship only lasted 2 years). I am happily surprised at myself - I actually had a big "grief" session on my one year anniversary of my break up - and you know what - it has helped in a way. I just let myself feel depressed, and it really helped actually. I remember this time last year, I was about to die - but now, wow - I'm going home for Christmas in about 4 days, and that's all I'm looking forward to now. I'm surprised I'm not thinking about what happened this time last year when my heart was torn out - I can say this now without emotion. Wow. Maybe that's how we should do it - just let ourself feel the grief, and then it will be better after that. Anyways, keep healing guys - it will get better - just let yourself feel depressed - it is natural, it is healing. Take care. Kung fu.
  9. kungfumaster
    Hi Trish, I'm happy you got closure - although you wished it would lead to something different. In anycase, I hope this will help you move on, as it certainly will - and have fun in Tasmania - wow - Tasmania - now that's somewhere to go! Take care. Kung fu
  10. kungfumaster
    Hi Ryan, Try to think hard of something that she did to hurt you or made you really mad in the past - hold onto that for now - anger is such a cleanser, and a good healer at the beginning. It helps you let go and cut the emotional ties. If you can't think up of anything, then just try to keep busy for now - INVEST IN YOURSELF - what's something you've always wanted to do but couldn't because you were with your ex - do that. Travel. Take up a new hobby. Go drinking with your friends. Head out to the clubs. Just try to have fun. I know it is hard in your state now, but you have to try - you just have to. You will survive. Like a previous poster said, time will be the best healer. Give yourself time. Take care. King fu
  11. kungfumaster
    Hello lillady, Yah - that is really strange that you guys just spent 3 whopping hours together out of a possible 5 days- in an LDR to boot. Maybe he wants to break up but is too cowardly to do it - sure, he probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but that's a given he continues to treat you this way, and stop hurting. Start living. You deserve better. Kung fu
  12. kungfumaster
    That's a good list ashik.
  13. kungfumaster
    Hey SugarNSpice, I understand what you are going through. One year ago, I felt the same way, and I am telling you now - THE PAIN WILL FADE AWAY - give yourself some time. I am actually reliving some of the memories now, but I have to say, I feel 10000000000 times much better, and the pain is almost gone. What I did was and what I suggest you do is to INVEST IN YOURSELF now - whatever that means for you. For me, it was working out, joining a dancing class, taking a trip to the orient for a month, and alot of other little trips elsewhere, and working on my career. Its hard, I know, but you have to try... I know right now it feels like there is no point to life anymore, but I say no - give yourself sometime to heal - emotionally, physically, and mentally - this is your time to grieve - so grieve - it is okay. Be depressed. Its natural. But don't resign yourself to it. Be depressed, but decide the next day you will not be depressed and you have to go on with life, i.e., work, investing in yourself, being with friends, etc... I, and alot of other people in this forum can attest to the trite, but true, and often overused sentiment: "Time will heal". It is soooooo true. I know this time last year, I was like "yah, whatever" - just like what you are probably thinking now - but it is really true. Give yourself some time. It is alright. Invest in yourself. You will get back to your normal self again, but in fact, you will become a more stronger person, not your normal self again when you begin to heal. I know I have learned alot, and I am a stronger person for it. You will be okay. Take care. Kung fu
  14. kungfumaster
    Hey thanks everyone for replying. It makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who feels this way after A LONG time after the break up, i.e., after almost 1 year. I've just been trying to keep busy so that I don't dwell on the bad memories that happened one year before. Its hard. Like this time last year, I remember, it was the beginning of the end - I was going on a trip, the trip which was the time it all started to fall apart and I reallly really got worried - after I got back from my trip, my suspicions that she wanted to break up were almost 100 percent - she never answered my calls or emails - just plain avoided me. FOR EVERYONE OUT THERE WHO WANTS TO DUMP SOMEONE - BE A MAN/WOMAN and JUST DO IT - don't avoid us, don't leave us hanging - reminds me of Radiohead's song "High and Dry" - don't pretend like we're not even there - just do it. You're actually being nicer to us doing it that way, although it would still be painful. It is the most painful experience of my life waiting for someone and not being sure that she wants to no longer be with me - evidence - I still remember the pain. Anyways, I hope you all have a good Christmas - spend it with loved ones, i.e., family and friends. I look forward to seeing my family again over Christmas. Take care everyone, and thanks for your replies. Kung fu
  15. kungfumaster
    I need to vent. So - its been almost a whole year since my ex and I broke up - does anyone feel the blues anytime it comes to that time of the year when you know, 1 year ago, you felt like your heart was torn out of you because you're ex broke up with you. I still remember what happened - everything - is this a bad sign that I'm not healing well?? I mean, this past year has been terrible for me. I mean, there has been some good points - I felt happy at times, going on a trip - meeting some new friends. But still, its a struggle. I know life is a struggle, but, is it always this hard sometimes - I'm not saying that I have a bad life, considering other things and people. I am lucky in a way, but not lucky at the same time. I did no contact for 9 months. Just contacted her once after that, and that was it. I don't know - especially now, nearing Christmas season - we were suppose to spend 2 weeks together for Christmas, but that didn't happen because she just gave up before Christmas, and just avoided telling me anything until I contacted her. The bad memories are coming back up again - I hate that.
  16. kungfumaster
    Dear southpaw, I agree with trishcollins. You will be fine. You have a great attitude. I have to say that dating does help you heal (if you are more a people person, than an introvert). The thing is, it has to be casual dating, i.e., no expectations. Once you throw some expectations in there, then that's when dating stops being healing, and you can throw yourself back to something where you didn't want to be in the first place, i.e., another heart break. I think when there are no expectations and you can truly be friends with someone you're hanging out with/casual dating/getting to know, etc..., then it will be really healing. So concentrate on healing relationships now, whether from friendships, casual dates, family - they really help. Trust me. Take care. Kung fu
  17. kungfumaster
    Dear Strandysmommy, I agree with every poster above. You are definitely not ready yet to get in a serious relationship - what why does it have to be serious. For now, just try to build relationships that will help you heal - casual dating with no expectations help alot - that's the key word - no expectations! If you mention this right up front to people you are casually dating - then it makes a world of difference, and people can't start enjoying each other without worrying about all the "pressures of a serious relationship". Build friendships for now (with both guys and girls) - they will help so much - trust me. Once you have healed, or almost completely healed, then I think you won't be scared anymore of anything. Fear is a completely normal thing - the thing is, we have to turn that fear into something positive. Take care. Kung fu
  18. kungfumaster
    Great advise Indrap. I wish you gusy good luck. You deserve it. You seem very mature and have a realistic outlook on yourself and your relationship. Take care. Kung fu
  19. kungfumaster
    Hi crizlee, Being a teacher myself, why don't you ask your teacher for extra help? We teachers love to give extra help - that's our job. If you don't like this option, how about asking your parents to help you pay for some private tutoring? The universitites close to where you live probably has lots of private tutors - just go the physics or math department and ask them if there are any undergraduates or graduate students who do private tutoring - I myself made lots of extra money doing extra tutoring, so I'm sure there are some there. In anycase, I recommend going to your teachers - its our job to help you - remember! Good luck. Kung fu
  20. kungfumaster
    I disagree too. It depends on what kinds of characteristics which are viewed as opposites. But that's just me. Where was this report? A magazine? A journal? On tv?
  21. kungfumaster
    I think people with glasses are super sexy. This is not lip service. I don't know - intelligence is way sexy for me. Hi yaaah!
  22. kungfumaster
    Hi itsbean07, No matter how you do it, you have to realize that you can't get around the fact that you are going to break his heart. So far though, from what I gather from your post, you have tried to tell him and be honest with him - so, that's good. I commend you for your honesty. I think you have to just tell him again what you think honestly, sit him down, and just tell him from your heart you really think this is for the best. And, if you do care for him, I'd give him some room after that - don't try to be friends with him - for his sake. It will just prolong his pain if he thinks there still might be a chance to be together again. Good luck. Kung fu
  23. kungfumaster
    I agree with everything Funk and looking has said. Old fashioned Kung fu
  24. kungfumaster
    Brandell, hope you're doing okay. Remember - you deserve better! Fantastic! Hope you're doing good too! and to Dragongirl - haha! Go Maple leafs go!! You'll like it here up here in Canada - especially in Toronto - its CAnada's NY. We all pretty laid back and nice. But actually, our loonie hit an all time high in 12 years, so you won't get twice as much money as you originally thought - more like just over 1.2 more. Hi yaaaah!
  25. kungfumaster
    Hi fede21us, Everyone that's posted is correct. You have to do no contact - for yourself. You deserve to heal, you deserve to move on, and you deserve someone who is serious about you. Keeping in contact with her just prolongs the pain. NC will do a world of difference as alot of people here on the board can attest too including myself. I did 10 months of it. I am happy I did it. Take care. Kung fu
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