mahlina

Part 1 Flirting is one thing, but eye-contact is another thing. For me, eye-contact isn't really a sign if I'm interested in a guy. I probably make eye-contact, because I'm just aware of my surroundings. However, if I flirt with a guy and have eye-contact, then that is more than just an average look. Usually, I will blink a lot, or gaze when talking to the guy, and smile a lot. Plus, a lot of gestures like, pruning my hair, or playing with my pendent, looking away and looking back. All of this usually happens subconsciously. If a girl flirts with you, it's usually the non-verbal ques that will suggest that she's interested. Sometimes guys take friendliness as flirting, when it's not. Like this one time, I was bragging to this guy about how I thought that the best Thai restaurant was in L.A....blah, blah, and my ex told me that I was being overly friendly and flirtatious. I wasn't. Since this guy was an out-of towner, I thought that it would be cool that he experiences the best of Thai food while visiting CA! So, don't mistake talking, or casual eye-contact as flirting. Part 2 About pick-up lines...don't even bother. I especially hate it when guys use pick up lines. It might be cute, but it sounds really corny and generic. Women do not want generic. They want to meet someone who is unique, not a player. I especially dislike it when guys give off pick up lines like, "Hey my friend over there thinks you're cute, you think he can get your number" (I'm thinking, No! Not a chance...) If you are inexperienced in that department, then I suggest that you don't change! Sounds like you're a nice guy. Girls like guys who are nice and kinda shy! I also find it very unattractive when nerdy guys try to be cool. They look like they're from M.I.T., all smart and everything, but as soon as they walk into the club, they say stuff like: "Yo, you think we can hang out some time?...cooh...cooh... that's aiight", it starts making them look really stupid, like a 'Carlton Banks' b/c they try to be all Rico Suave, but it just comes out sounding all wrong! Whatever it is, just be yourself. I find that guys who are themselves more attractive. Guys who try to act like someone else just look like phonies to me. Use whatever line that you want as long as it's clever, and coming out from your own personality, not something typical. Save pick up lines for when you flirt with your significant others (in that case it's cute)...Best of luck on the macking!

Wow! That's quite some time...and how long was the relationship, and on what terms did you guys breakup on? Depending on the situation, like infidelity, most girls, in my opinion, will probably not even give the relationshp a second chance. However, if it's on issues like bad timing b/c the two of you are in college, then chances are, the relationship is worth investing in. Other factors like neglect or verbal abuse may also cause her to not to want to go back with you, like when you guys fought.

You may not or may have found the one, but to truly know, you must be patient. You are very young, 17 is a pretty early age so meet "the one." What you are going through. sounds like 'puppy love' to me. I went through that phase, but snapped out of it once I moved onto college. I truly thought that the person I wanted to spend my life with was my soulmate! We were inseperable for 4 yrs! You never know what kind of turns life will throw at you, but you only live once right? You will never know what love is unless you give it a chance. What you are doing is the right and natural thing. However, I must caution you: don't expect things to be perfect, b/c the two of you have lots of trials ahead of you. For instance: 1. Finishing College 2. Meeting new people in college. 3. Tapping into a stable career. 4. Meeting new friends or colleagues. 5. Moving beyond that stage, advancing into higher studies. In other words, the both of you have several of obstacles ahead of you. Some couples either grow together or grow apart, as they mature. In some cases, 'teenage lovers' do pass the test of time and decide to spend the rest of their lives continuing that bond. Just proceed with a little caution, trust each other, and support one another. I wish you the best of luck!

Hello Kentore, How long ago did you break up with this ex of yours? I suggest that you don't burn her stuff. If you wanted to, then you would've voodoo'd or burned it a long time ago (J/K)! Instead of playing mindgames, I suggest that you have a heart to heart conversation with her. Just drop a line, and ask her how she is doing. I'm sure that she would appreciate it! If you miss her and would like to salvage your relationship, then give it a little more time. However, you must first evaluate if the 2nd chance is worth taking.

hey man...I didn't post your topic to argue okay! Just trying to help! Geeze! =;

To truly love a guy, you must also somewhat love his family. Once you meet a guy's family, you either love them, or wish you never really met them. In reality, his family is a big part of who he truly is. A guy's family upbringing immensely shapes his personality and his values. So, if you can't stand his family, don't be surprised when you find out in time, that his personality is very similar to theirs... There are exceptions to the rule though. Some guys despise their families. Like guys who come from trailor-trash type of families, who move beyond their familie's lifestyle, by severing ties. In this case, you won't have to deal with the family as much. If he's attached to his family, then you must somehow learn how to accept the situation...Good Luck!

Maybe she just wanted to be polite. Perhaps, you kind of suppressed your feelings for her for a while, and then all of a sudden, after nto seeing her for a while, really brought back all of the sparks for you. I odn't think that her looking at you in that way, truly means anything. Don't overanalyze it too much. She's probably made peace with herself and the breakup. If you really want to talk to her, then do so, but I think that the past should be left where it belongs...in the past. You should move on. Think about it, if you decide to give it a second try, the trust is still sketchy (for you at least), and thereforeeee, it really puts a strain on the relationship.

Life's a b***h! What can I say? You'll have your ups and downs...I mean, if life was perfect, then it wouldn't really be a life worth living right? It would start to become bland, and then you'd get sick of it right? You wouldn't know pleasure, if you didn't have pain... Life is sh*tty, but you need to find a balance. I think what's key is to find your inner child, the inner happiness that gets you through depressing days. Some people lie to themselves all the time, then they are not ever happy. Everyone wants to be happy, even if they are pessimistic. I like Bhudhist phylosophy b/c it says that everyone suffers. It's a part of life. There is no way of dodging it. However, if you could grasp onto a sense of reality, then you'll find peace in your heart, b/c atleast you'll know that you're not the only one who is suffering. The happiest people tend to be people who know who they are, and know what they want w/o trying too hard to fit in. My advice is to 1. really get to know what makes you happy 2. treat others the way that you want to be treated 3. treat everyone with the most respect (unless if they are snobs, then you don't need to bow down!) 4. enjoy spending time with the people that you have in your life, b/c you'll never know when its their time to leave. This is just my simple phylosophy for living. I hope that this helps!

I think that women tend to tell white lies here and there, but it's not to hurt anyone. Other lies that women might tell are lies to their parents, especially to strict ones. To get to the point here, I think that a lot of young men, mostly in their 20's, tend to lie a lot...depending on how close their relationship with the opposite sex. I don't want to label, but it's true. I do agree with previous posts though, you can't always easily trust what people say. People who lie are pretty pathetic. I mean, what's there to lie about right. Women tend to be honest, because they don't have anything to lie about. Based on experience, I know that lying is not good, b/c one way or the other, the truth will always come out... So, be careful with the lies that you tell, b/c it will someday come back to bite your butt!!!

I am truly sorry to hear about your mother...I know exactly how you feel. Except, I lost my father at a young age, so it's somewhat different. What I must tell you though, is that the more you push your feelings aside, the more pain you will feel later on. I tried to bury my feelings, and as I got older, all of my emotions came back and haunted me. It sounds like you are going through the grieving process. You are a strong person...If I lost my mom, my life would be such trauma! I must admire you for trying to move on in life, and continuing on doing what you're doing like going to work. I really hope that time will ease your pain, and I know that it will. Now's your time to really reflect on the words that your mom once said. Treasure all of your memories. Try to dig it out of your emotions. Then you'll find that a part of her will always be with you. It's like your memories are her spirit that lives inside of you. When you think of her, every part of her will transcend in your heart, and will give you a feeling of fulfillment. Thining of the good memories will really ease your pain. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I hope that my advice helps. Please take care!

I must agree, Karma is a beaatch...! Your ex is probably paying back for the karma that she's put you through... It's not like we enjoy seeing others suffer, but it's true. What goes around comes around...and never ends....

I don't know...Maybe there isn't anything going on, but just be careful. My ex consistantly calls me. He started dated a girl exclusively, when we broke up. However, since we broke up, he has not stopped calling, has not stopped trying to hang out with me. I've repeatedly ignored him, yet he still insists. Meanwhile, what do you think that he's telling his current girlfriend? Plus, he said some nasty ish about her... Anyway, if you're families are pretty close, then I would say that you are pretty safe.. I agree with sisterlynch. Forgive, but don't forget.

Oh, and to add to that. I usually don't regret dumping the guys that I dated..all except one. The only reason I kind of regret dumping him is because we totally bonded emotionally and spiritually, but not physically and mentally. If you're wondering if women in general, regret dumping their exes, it really depends on how strong the bond is, which usually is felt between 2 people. It's not just one sided.

I totally agree with Sisterlynch. However, it seems like guys in general, probably don't regret dumping the exes as much. I don't know. Prove me if I'm wrong. Maybe they're just better at masking their emotions?

You are doing the right thing...It's not messed up for you to think ahead. I've dated this guy who had a passion for the arts too, but his work didn't seem competitive enough for the industry. Sounds like you're going through puppy love. What you need to do now is to worry about covering up your butt for the future. It's really sad b/c I see all of these young people, who get so caught up in relationships, that they start moving in with their lovers, and then never finish up with their studies. They rely on retail jobs to get by...and usually, these jobs aren't as stable (unless if they become managers). Don't feel bad. It's good that you're thinking of the long-term consequences, which is a part of maturing...

Some parents are overly critical! If I were you, try to live at home until the first 2 years of your college credits are done, then move out. You'll save lots of money by doing this. If you can, try to put up with her comments. She's probably really pessismistic. Try to be the better person. I know that it's suffocating, but you won't live with her forever. Even if she makes you angry, she's still your mother, so you still have to respect her. I think that she doesn't like the fact that you work at a movie because she cares about the kind of environment that you'll be working in, and the hours the come along with it. She probably doesn't mean to insult you intentionally. Some people just aren't good with expressing their emotions, so it always comes off as an attack... Some mothers act like the breadwinner and lack that emotional side. Just bear with it for a while. In the meantime, she's right in a fact that working at the movie theatres will probably demand odd hours from you, such as working until 2:00 a.m. You might want to check out other jobs like working as an optician, you earn a descent salary without a degree; especially, if you're still in school. Plus, the environment is clean, you get to wear a doctor's coat (people might think that you're a doctor), and the hours are flexible. Costco start their opticians at $11/hr-$15, depending on your experience. Except, you don't get the labcoat! I know that this is more info that you've asked, but the main point is, even though you're mad at your mother, her intentions are not to hurt you. Maybe, you should purchase a book on 'how to communicate with your children', and give it to her for Christmas! J/K (Don't, this will be an insult)!

Maybe, she just has long legs. I agree with the previous post. Perhaps, you are overanalyzing the situation. If you really like her, then break it to her. Even if you are shy, try to at least conversate with her a little. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself nuts all semester long if you don't do anything about it.

Start off by asking her a question, something funny and sarcastic like "don't you think so and so professor is having a midlife crisis" or something useful like, "Hey I'm thinking about taking Anthro next semester, have you taken it? With whom?" Keep it casual. Don't say something generic like, "Hey, can we hang out sometime?" It's kind of like a forceful way of making the other party not feel guilty. Sometimes if they don't want to hang out with you, they'll say "Sure, why not..." and then just never return your calls. Just talk to her. Get to know her, and then ask if you could hang out or catch a movie....Be creative!

If she wasn't interested, then she wouldn't have gone out with you in the first place. She likes you. Give it a little more time. Some women need to warm up to their emotions before they actually start falling in love.

One of the most memorable way that I met a guy was at a wedding. It was by coincidence that I grew up with his cousin, the bride, and our families knew each other, but we never met. It was really cute b/c it was really formal the way that we met. Another one was with an ex at Halloween. The first time I saw him, I thought that he looked like a clown. One that I will never forget was when I first opened the door to my friend's apartment, and this guy that I met for the first time, just took my breath away. We played cards and I could tell that he was nervous, because his hands were shaking and he was stuttering. If you are wondering about ways to meet women, where/how. I suggest, just let it happen naturally. Don't force it. One of your life's greatest romances will come to you when you least expect it.

Even though your hours will be limited, you can always try to drop a few things to him or spend time with him during the holidays, like little parties that the shelter might throw. Sounds like this kid is very keen! Whatever you say to him, or whatever you do for him will leave in imprint in his memories, and will carry on all throughout his adulthood. The little token of affection that you give him will carry far... It's nice to heart stories like yours. If I were you, I'd give him something meaningful...something encouraging and educational! Try 1/2 things.... 1. Something Symbolic like: A Dream Catcher- Tell him to put it under his pillow, and when he dreams, all the bad dreams will disappear and his wishes will come true. Kids like mysterious things. It will give him hope, especially if he's been abused. Everytime he puts that dreamcatcher under his pillow, he will think of you and your positive influence. 2. Take him somewhere meaningful: Like a children's museum; tell him that education will take you far in life, and that you can be whatever you want to be... Kids a very smart. Every word that you say to them has so much power of influence over them! They will carry your words of wisdom in their hearts. Hopefully when he gets older, her will want to contribute to helping other children, just like what you've done for him. Last word of advice, do it from your heart, be creative with the little time that you have with him! Good Luck!

Aaww...Very Sweet! She'll probably cry! Don't change anything with the poem. Since it's from your heart, it's very meaningful.

Hello d1whoutf: I think that you are being too hard on yourself! You can't always please everyone. You just have to find your niche! Instead of trying to please everyone, I suggest, just be yourself, but know your limits. You know, like common courtesy. You'll find that it gets harder once you start working. You'll have to adapt to others a little more. Don't worry too much! Getting to know people and making new friends will fall in place. As you mature, you'll find that it gets easier!

It's funny that you ask! For some reason a lot of chubbier guys tend to hit on me. I think that it's reverse attraction. Bigger guys like smaller girls. Skinny guys like meatier girls. My honest opinion is, I prefer a guy who's somewhere in between. No offense to overweight men, but their size just does not do it for me. I mean 200 lbs is on the heavier side for me. I can be mentally attracted to them, but can't imagine being physically initimate with them. You know what's funny? Women in Japan would die to marry Sumo Wrestlers. My baby cousin calls them big babies in diapers! Hehe... If you can imagine a sumo wrestler, I think that you get my picture. It's more attractive when men care about their health, eat right, and workout; compared to a man who eats McDonalds and Krispy Kreme's everyday, and the only workout he gets is stepping on the gas pedal to pull up to a drive through window! J/K (That's to the extreme though!)

I know exactly how you feel. The feelings are especially intense in the beginning. Try dealing with a heartache while taking tons of science units! It's unbearable! I do the same thing as you too. I try to keep in shape. I lost a few pounds of what is left of me. I was all ready skinny to begin with. Breakups can really do a lot of damage to your health huh? I go to church on Sundays too! I hope that God is watching out for those who hurt. I've also tried the dating scene. It just does not feel natural. It feels so superficial. I think that loneliness is a part of life. It's almost as if everytime you fall in love, a piece of your heart gets broken and thrown away. Then what's left of it right? My only advice is to reconnect with people in your family. Try reading on new different things. I like reading books about the Dalai Lama. His words help ease my pain, but it's only temporary. Ultimately, I think that it's all mental. If we think positive, then we won't feel lonely. Last but not least, try talking to God. Try praying. Sometimes people lose that simplicity in life!