Dannyjo

Dear Forum letter I received today has sent my brain into overtime. I have read it over and over and everytime I think my ex is trying to say something different or is it that I am wanting to see more. Background INFO: We dated for almost 3 years and I will admit I was not the most open or romantic man that I should have been. I had my demons and yes I did make mistakes, and I have paid for it. She broke up with me and I knew it was coming, I did not think it would be as hard as it has been. I denied my feelings and kept busy in my new life. I even met a new woman and she made me feel great. I kept busy with this new woman spending every waking minute that we could together. I refused to think about what I had lost. I My ex than began to call me just to chat and I had no problems talking to her. She even brought the subject up of my new woman and I told her that I was in love. I felt like a snake but I did it to deny my ex from knowing the deep down grief I suppressed. She stopped calling and life went on. This new woman treated me good and yes I grew to care for her. I thought I am so lucky to find a great person, but deep down there were still regrets and demons that I had not dealt with. I was afraid of being alone and I knew as long as I had someone else to "love", that it woulp help me not focus on my ex. Months flew by and yet not a word from her so one day i decided to call her just to see if I could detect any love left. She was nice but there was a haste in her voice. We spoke a couple more times than I surprised her one day as she was leaving her office. I made up an excuse to stop by to give her back a couple books of hers that I had. When I saw her it was a very intense feeling. I felt love, attraction, pain and uncertainty. I wanted to think she still felt something and I wish I knew. A couple weeks ago I ran into her this time by surprise in a library. This is where we shared the "look", that I posted about before. Every lover knows what I mean by this look, I could tell she was still the same and her emotions still ran deep for me. I am not being egotistical, I could really see a ray of hope for me in her eyes. I thought she may sart to call me again but no there was nothing, no messages, no emails for like days. Now weeks later I receive a letter from her, sharing with me some pictures she had found of us. She went into detail about how she had no regerets about us and was glad we could still be friends. She mentioned a lot of different things but I could not tell if she was writing this to seek peace or to initiate something else. The letter also stated how she was not angry at me and held no bad feelings. And that if I ever meet her on the street when I am with my new love for me to not feel sorry or bad b/c I could not speak that she would understand and she wanted me to understand the same, like if I would see her with a new man I should not feel bad if she can not speak. Up until I read this part I thought she may have had other intentions! She ended the letter asking me how I was and about my family, and for me to take care. She signed it as "Your Friend Forever", what am I to think? I have deeper feelings and hopes than just friends! In a way I think she wanted to say something else but would not for reasons that have to do with protecting her feelings. I wander if she was just writing to see if she would get a response or was she just being friendly? She knows about my current relationship and i feel lke she hides her feelings for me b/c I am with this woman and I freaking stupidly had told her that I loved this woman! I was such a dam idiot to ever say that. I do not know waht to do. Do I respond only to answer her questions and wish her well? Do I be honest with her and my heart and tell her how I really feel? I am not even sure that I can tell her now. I have made my self a fool for love before a long time ago with a woman I thought loved me. She left me for another man and it ripped my guts out, I chased after her thinking my love would save the day. This is the reasons why I did not fight to keep her, I had learned my lesson about chasing women and opening my heart. I am not perfect and I may be an asshole to most of you for not being honest but I am a man that has had his heart wounded and pride lost for the love a reckless woman. I think about my ex all the time. Sometimes I even catch myself wishing that my new woman was my ex. My ex "Dawn" was attractive, sexy, smart, cool, and we had the most incredible exhausting chemistry. What do I do? Do I follow my heart and risk my pride? Or should I just disregard all contact and move on? I can move on but what I fear is that I will always have this haunting memory of her face with me always. I know this feeling will fade but should I let it. I know I will end up hurting my new woman and I hate myself for it. I am so scared of not following my heart and living with regret. ON the other hand I am going to face the risk of loosing both of them! Just please take a moment to share with me your HONEST ADVICE. What did you think about ex's letter?What move must I take? Do I stay with comfort or folllow my heart? Please help I know it does not make much sense but I can not fight or hide these feelings in my heart!

Hello fellow members I was at the library the other day and I ran into an ex gf. We split up several months ago, she broke it off said she was not happy, and I really am to blame. I simply took her for granted, and I did not realize how much she meant until it was too late(jerk I am ).I really cared for her, even would go as so far to say the L word but I did not tell her. But Jeez it was over so I just did what I could do I let go and moved on. I think she wanted me to chase after her and I aint gonna do play games. I met a real nice chic and we hit it off. Sure I missed my ex and I regret my mistakes she was a wonderful woman, just so wonderful......... Soon realized this new chic was not for me so I had to end it and she was hurt and pised .....AWOMAN SCORNED! I just aint right in the head to treat any woman right! My ex use to tell me I just felt sorry for myself maybe she was right! So at the library I saw her and it was really weird she looked at me and smiled. I do not know what to think of it all if you could have just been there kinda like a movie we were just stuck in time staring seemed like forever lasting only a couple minutes. We spoke briefly mostly smiled and stared into each others eyes she has the most amazing eyes! I felt so strong for her but she was with her sister and I did not know what to say. I just said hi how are ya she replied asked me i said fine. I hoped maybe she would have called me or something later on but she didnt so maybe i should call her but im scared of getting hurt by her again. Not sure of how to handle my feelings or how I should react. I know she must feel something, why else would an ex look at ya like that it was kinda deep. I am confused do I act on it? or wait for her? Scared she has dotten over me or she might think I am dating maybe that is why she wont call maybe she is dating and just cares. I do not want to look like a real jerk and i am sincere i really cared for this woman i do not know what to say? I should have told her months ago but I did not want to risk looking desperate I hate being a fool for love. So do I call or wait for her? I do not want to play games I am just feeling so much for her and do not know what to do avout it can i make it work? How can I find out if she is still into me without risking getting rejected! I know she use to love me alot have I waited too long for a reconciliation?

Hey Man, Sorry to hear all is not well. Women are a mystery to me, heck I dunno know why I even try. I am weak to a beautiful woman? Well I hope at least you had some memories to bring back. I would be a bit scared to plan to meet a chic online cause she may be unattactive to me. How did that go for you, was she at least hot! Was she attracted to you, that would concern me most. Anyway I am in a relationship, kinda, and if we were to split I am not so sure I could risk meeting online! I know we have the new age of digital pics and webcams, but pics do not detail everything. Hell maybe I am superficial, but I have standards and I am a nice looking man. I would just hate to meet someone and then feel like I was not attracted physically, and then tell her. You got courage Man! Just wandering how the attraction went? Was she psycho? Why did she agree to met you, have you drive half a day to be with her and not know for sure what she wanted? Do you think she met somebody else? Or do you think she was honest? I hate mind games they play! Hope you find Miss Wonderful!

Ya well man communication is a good thing, but you know how chics are sometimes. If I ask wrong she will be offended, ya know!

Ok fellow men , I need some guidance! Lastnight my girl and I were ..well you know......and she kept rubbing her backside up against my penis. I am confused. Now I would love to do it, but I am afraid of how I should approach it. SHould I just take her and WHAM or should I ask her? HOw do I ask without sounding like a pervert? I am pretty sure she wants to try, but she might be afraid to tell me. HELP! I really wanna do it. YIKES!

Thanks for the tips gilgamesh. I sent you a pm about another ? because of the content. Any ladies have nay experience with this one! Share the experience maybe it can shed some light!

I just recently reunited with my ex, everything is wonderful so far! We have a good sex life, but I have some concerns over my member. She is a very small woman, and I am quite large compared to her. When we really get into, if you know what I mean, I get a litte rough I guess. NOt meaning to. If I penetrate her all the way it hurts her. I want to please her, but I want to be able to please myself too. Certain positions are very difficult and lubrication is not a problem I have had other petite women, and they usually do not have a problem. Usually, they like it deep! Could something be wrong with my gf? Any advice on how to enhance both of our pleasures? Thanks

I hope you all can help me save my sister! I have an older sister who is 33, she has always been an attractive person inside and out. She has always been obsessive over her looks though, she is not vain, opposite actually, she never seems to be thin enough, pretty enough etc. About 3 years ago we lost our mother and younger brother to a car accident. We have gotten very close since then. My sis lost her grip and suffered emotionally and physically. Her complexion started to become covered in acne at 30. She went to a derm and he put her on some very strong medicine accutine or something. Anyway. she it worked miracles, but it has left some scarring on her face. It is not that bad, except for a deep linear one and a few hole looking ones. She obsesses about this, it has affected her career as a paralegal and her relationships. I tell her "Sis your face is not that bad" she goes crazy. This weekend I drove up to see her and she would was a wreck. SHe had laid in the bed for hours, not eat, drink, etc and litereally looked like the walking dead. She will not look in the mirror without crying. I know she sounds vain and pathetic, but she is really in trouble. She is all teh family I have left and I do not want to lose her. I am afraid she will try something stupid, as she cannot cope. TO tell you guys the truth her scars are not that noticeable, she says that a man will never want her with bad skin. What can I do to help her. I have tried everything, it backfires. I suggested if she were not comfy with herself than she could get scar revision, but she said she can not afford it. I do not know how to improve her self esteem. She is still an attractive lady, but her obsessiveness is making her crazy. My friends all think she is an attractive girl, they never mention her scarring, she thinks that is all any man sees. What do I do?

I had been broken up with my ex for a while and started dating another gir shortly after. I still had feelings for my ex and it was wrong I know. Recently I posted on how to tel my current girl that I cannot move forward b/c of my confusion, Thanks for the advice by the way. Anyway I still have not had the courage to do so, but I have been distancing myself. My ex surprisingly called me Tuesday night, she had wanted to bring by a few more items she had of mine, I delightedly agree. When she walked through the door, I grew so weak, she looked so good and I realized how much I missed her and truly cared. We talked and one thing led to the next, soon we were going at it like crazy. Guys, I have never felt so overwhelmed with emotion. We have always had an incredible chemistry and it was so wonderful. I lied to her and told her I was not seeing my current girl, but I still am. Now what do I do? I am afraid I may lose her forever if she found out. We are to go out for dinner Friday, and I still have not madea move to break it off, I am scared she will contact my ex or something if she finds out we are together again. Any Advice?

I have been dating a woman for 3 months, she is wonderful! Except I still think of my ex, and I am not sure I can be what she needs right know. I do not know how to tell her. It is nothing she has done, it is me! I just cannot commit to any promises now. Any suggestions to how or what I say?

Hello all. I need some advice and input on how I should handle my brokenheart. My ex ended our 4 yr relationship 8 months ago, she called me up one evening and told me she was not happy. Reflecting back on everything, I know I treated her very wrong at times. I cheated, lied, held back emotionally but I was scared too. I can not blame her for dumping me now as I reflect. A man has many ways of showing his love and I waited too long and expected too much. We had broken up several times before and I would usually beg her back, but this time I thought before I leaped. I know I hurt her too much. I would beg her back again no as I still love her, but like a fool I involved myself in another womans life. I know I am a real loser, but I had to take my mind away from her. NOw I am still dating her and I spend alot of nights over her place and she is great but I now realize what I lost in my ex. My ex was a friend, we had fun, she was smart, sexy, loving, beautiful.....I see her alot as we work in the same building and at times I see her when I am with my new gf in social gatherings. I comapre and it is so bad. Ironically, 1 months after dhe dumped me she came to my home crying, telling me she loved me. I told her that I met this woman afterwards I did not know what to do or say. I just do not want to hurt her, but I still love her dearly. NOw it has all died down and I hear from friends that she is happy, she is not dating anyone seriously and they say that she tells them leaving me was the best thing. When i see her she smiles and waves, as I do but I wonder if she is holding back. I know she must still feel something. I have messed it up too much to go back havent I? She would never accept me back after I have been dating this woman, plus I have hurt too many already. I just moved too fast, not thikning cleearly, I rebounded and now I pay. Please help, should I call her and tell her or just let her go , hoping one day she will call. She has called before about 3 months after our break-up but I acted like an ass. I am so stupid. What have I done!

I am so new to all of this, but I am all twisted up inside and I have no one elso to turn to. My ex-wife and I divorced 4 years ago, she was not happy and our divorce just about killed me, I felt betrayed, worthless, like I was not a man at all. I even thought about ending it all, but I have 3 sons and I love them very much. Ever since then she has had a man in her life, which still hurts like hell. However at times like anniversaries and holidays she gets all sentimental and wants to get together, and we have in the past, even when my father passed away, she came back to me but it was very brief. Four months after our separation (1999) I started dating a beautiful woman who is about 8 years younger, but she is very mature. I had known her for years as she was a friend of the family and my Father adored her too. She is a great gal, she has 1 child and is divorced, she had a bad marriage and he hurt her alot too. In the beginning, I feel head over heels, I could not get this lady out of my mind, which I think scared her a bit. But I fell hopelessly in love within 3 months. I know it sonds too fast! But I was still griefing and still loved my ex very much, I knew she would not come back if I were with her so I broke it off. She is very understanding and we agreed to be friends. Several months later I ran into her and asked her out to dinner, she agreed and we kind of started to see each other again. We had the most incredible passionate sex ever and she made me feel wonderful, but everytime I got close, I grew scared! Anyway since then we have been in and out of dating, up and down, I admit I messed around with other women, including my ex-wife, I did not deserve her or treat her very well. But I am so messed up from my divorce still. I hurt this lady very badly and she refused to see me again back in March, I told I understood but it hurt like hell. She is wonderful not only physically but she is smart, sexy, funny, etc. a mans dream come true. I am so stupid and I have had many people even friends tell me so, hell my best bud even told me if I did not know how to treat her right he would! But the wya I feel about her scares the hell out of me, I never want to feel the pain of losing again. But I fear I have lost her b/c I couldnt promise her or give her a commitment. A week after she dumped me I was set up on a blind date, this lady is very sweet and a great listener, she is attractive and kind and I really like her too. I have been dating her pretty serioulsy and I know my ex must think I am full of double standards, but I hate to be alone and think. I spend alot of time with this woman and I have developed feelings for her too. I run into my ex every know and again and when I am with my new chic, I can not look at her. It kills me to see her. I know she still loves me, she told me a month after we split but I do not wnat to hurt her anymore, but I wish I would have not let her go. NOw I am with this new woman and more confused than ever. I see my ex alot and I wave and try to be nice and so is she, but I am afraid to call or anything. She put up with so much of my bs, she deserves more. HOw could I change things? I do not wnat to hurt this new woman, but I still care alot for my ex and I am going crazy. Any advice? Please respond!-Dannyjo